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It felt so real… Like it was actually happening. But that wasn’t right… right? He’d already lived through this once…
As Yusuke Urameshi stared Toguro down, he could feel the fear and the anger gripping his heart once again. Everything was fuzzy and the edges were all blurred. But Toguro, the freak, was as clear as ever. His eyes pierced through the boy as he spoke, but the words couldn’t filter through his mind.
What was going on…? Why couldn’t he move …?
He needed to move. He needed to do something. Punch that friggin’ smirk from the demon’s face before-
And then Toguro turned and faced his friends. Koenma, Kurama, Hiei… Kuwabara.
He tried to take a step forward. Tried to scream. Don’t touch him!
But as Toguro started walking towards them, he was helpless. “Let’s see if you can bring out his hidden emotions.” Toguro sneered as Kuwabara stepped forward, ready to face the monster. K-Kuwabara… please… Yusuke was frozen. He couldn’t even charge Toguro like he had the first time. It was like the knowledge of what was going to happen kept him rooted. Did that make him a coward? Did that make him cruel …?
“Stop it, Toguro!” He finally screamed as tears ran down his cheeks, taking a heavy step forward, his body weighing ten thousand pounds. “Kuwabara, no!”
His best friend charged the monster, spirit sword bright and gleaming, and it seemed like time itself had slowed down. Toguro let out a monstrous yell as he swung out his hand, before spearing his fingers deep into Kuwabara’s chest cavity, before the brazen teen could even make a scratch.
Kuwabara’s blood soaked the ground underneath him as he choked on it, before he turned to the spirit detective, smirking at him, the light slowly leaving his eyes. “Okay Urameshi. It’s… all you. I did what I… could. Not beat him for… all of us… Make… my death count… Yu…suke…”
Yusuke felt his heart break , mind snapping as he screamed, watching Kuwabara’s body crash to the ground. “ No! ”
“ Kazuma! ” Yusuke jolted from the bed, eyes wide as he stared blankly at the wall across from him, terror gripping at his heart as he struggled to breathe. It was all so real. It was so real . Kuwabara… Kazuma was dead -
“Yusuke?” The door slid open to the room as the ginger haired teenager stepped inside, alarmed from the scream of his name. He held a tray of breakfast in his hands, but was quick to make his way to the nightstand to set it down, before reaching out for the other. “ Christ , Yusuke, it was just a dream!” He gripped the other’s shoulder, shaking it roughly, before the ravenette finally snapped out of it.
Yusuke choked on his breath, snapping his head towards the other, tears staining his cheeks and the expression of pure despair on his face made Kazuma’s heart break. “K-Kazuma…?” The other boy’s voice broke, his brilliant hazel gaze flitting across the other’s form before Yusuke reached out to grab him, fists tight in his clothes.
“Yeah… Yeah, I’m here, baby. It’s okay,” Kazuma breathed out, sitting on the bed beside the other. He tried to pull Yusuke into a kiss, but the other boy ducked out of it, suddenly frantic to pull at his shirt. With a soft grimace, he helped Yusuke, pulling the flimsy cloth from his torso and tossing it away, sighing softly as the other’s lithe, callused fingers touched him. It wasn’t gentle, or meant to be pleasurable. Kazuma knew Yusuke was doing this for his own sanity, checking the scars on the older boy’s chest.
The wounds from the elder Toguro had healed nicely, as had most of the others from the whole tournament, but the devastating blow from the younger Toguro had scarred, leaving a terrible marr on his chest. Yusuke ran his fingers over the marks, body quivering, before he let out a quiet breath, closing his eyes. The image flashed in his head again and he jolted, eyes snapping wide open before they fell closed again as Kazuma leaned down to kiss him sweetly.
“It’s okay, Yusuke…” the ginger teen breathed out against his lips, voice quiet and soft. “It’s over… I’m alive, baby… I’m here… and I’m not going anywhere.”
Yusuke sighed softly, breath calming as the other reached up to wipe away his tears, “It… felt so… real…” he whispered, swallowing hard. “You were… gone…”
“I’m not… I’m not… and I’m so sorry …” Kazuma grimaced, shaking his head as he pulled the other to him in a tight hug. “You never should have been put through that… The heartless bastard…”
The spirit detective fell silent, relaxing against the taller boy, listening to his calm, steady heartbeat, grounding himself with it. It had been a year since the tournament and it still fought with him in his dreams. But nothing stuck with him as bad as the fight with Toguro. He hated them. The memories. The nightmares.
“Hey…” Kazuma’s voice broke him from his thoughts and when Yusuke lifted his head, the other kissed him gently. “You killed the bastard, remember? He’s weaker than you are. In this life and the next, and he always will be. You defeated him in the tournament. You can sure as hell defeat him in your dreams. And you know what? I’ll be there, standing by your side, when you do. A thousand times if I need to.” The gorgeous idiot grinned at him, eyes sparkling and Yusuke couldn’t help but choke out a laugh, before kissing him again, this time deeper.
The effects of the dream were finally fading, the fear no longer gripping his heart, as he let Kazuma push him back against the bed. The food was forgotten as Kazuma worshiped every inch of skin on the younger boy’s body, listening to him sigh and moan and hum. He brought the other to his release with just his fingers and his mouth before making love to him, taking Yusuke apart piece by piece for an hour, before spending just as long putting him back together again.
“I love you, Yusuke… I’m not leaving your side. Now or ever. This is my promise to you…”
“...you sound like you’re proposing to me, moron.”
“...maybe I am?”
“Wh-what?” Yusuke’s eyes widened as he stared at the other and Kazuma chuckled softly, holding the other boy close.
“I’ve been giving it some serious thought, you know? We’ve been through hell and back together, you and me… I know we’re still young, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Yusuke.” Kazuma sighed softly, staring up at the ceiling. “I know I don’t have anything fancy to offer you yet. No ring or anything, but-”
Yusuke cut him off with a kiss, heart quivering in his chest, “You’re… serious?” He breathed out, staring into the other’s eyes. “Stupid… I don’t need a ring… or anything like that. I just… need you .” The ginger teen broke out into a grin at the words before Yusuke kissed it away again, hugging Kazuma tighter to him. “I love you too, dumbass… And… and in case you didn’t understand… That was a yes .”