Work Text:
Tubbo: “Isn’t your favorite band called Tree Demon?”
Ranboo: “Yes Tubbo, I listen to the band Tree Demon.”
Tommy: “Oh I’m one button press away from being permbanned on Twitch.”
Quackity: “Don’t do that! You didn’t get your parents permission!”
Tommy: *deadpan stare*
Tubbo: “Can I slap it?” [Tommy’s neck]
Tommy: “*unnatural cough-wheeze-exhale*”
Tommy: “We installed the balls mod into minecraft!”
Tubbo: “And maybe, there'll be a twist at the end!”
Ranboo: “Oh that'd just be painful.”
Tubbo: “Oh I actually had a really interesting dream”
Tommy: “what was it”
Tubbo: “I can’t talk about it”
Tommy: “What the hell man-”
Tommy: “Gaslighting? I think you mean girlboss” *starts laugh-crying*
Tommy: “You might be wondering why I’m wearing 5 jumpers and I’ve got a sock on my mic and theres a half eaten onion here-”
Tommy: “Y’ever been whipped Tubbo”
Tubbo: “yeah”
Wilbur: *realization and look of shock*
Quackity: “What's hentai?”
George: “Ask Bad, he knows.”
Quackity: “AHHH I GOOGLED IT”
Quackity: “Jesus fanfiction? We could get into that-”
Dream: “Forgive me father I have sinned” “L”
Quackity: “I don’t have a 5th le-”
Quackity: “let's move on.”
Tubbo: “How much for me to rip it all off. Right now.” [referring to Ranboo’s mask and glasses]
Tommy: “Your clothes?”
*Ranboo dance thing playing on Mediashare*
Ranboo: “I look so hot.”
Tommy: “I faced my fears and they were not sexy!”
Jack: “You were terrified.”
Tommy, after screaming for several hours on end: “I do not recall that.”
Tommy: “I spedran your mo- AAAAAA”
Quackity: “Going 110 in an 80? Trying to speedrun the interstate or something?”
Tommy: “Hey Dream, persuade me to vote Trump."
Sapnap: “Is this soundboard George?”
Soundboard George: “You can suck on my chicken bone.”
Sapnap: “I can what? This waiter’s rude!”
Quackity: “This is severely inappropriate.”
Karl: “I have salad dressing”
Tubbo: “o7 boys”
Tubbo: *fucking dies*
Jack: “It's crazy how they got all these exotic animals here. We have meerkats, and giraffes-”
Ranboo: “Oh I get it. I was really excited to see some giraffes but now I’m just disappointed.”
Everyone: *Pedaling forward on their mini car things*
Ranboo: *Gives up because he’s too tall*
Dream: “I’m french now” Dream, in a french accent: “Boohoo crack eerr”
Karl: “I just want to remind everyone that Quackity said ‘Are you guys ready to start the podcast’ In a call by himself”
Dream: “We should make a pact.”
Tommy: “Dream, Now you better not ignore me now- When was the last time you had a good cry.”
Dream: “We should make a pact.”
Wilbur (Ghostbur): “Well when I met Bad he was really nice and I want to make friends with him.”
Sapnap: “Actually swearing is how you become his friend.”
Wilbur: *spams fuck and gets kicked*
Wilbur: “What's spame ing?”
Tommy: “How am I supposed to get a girlfriend when Georgenotfound exists.”
Badboyhalo: “no Quackity I have a gun”
Quackity: “Nononono put that down-”
Freddie: “We’ve seen the twitch leaks, Tubbo you’re a millionaire you can stop wearing Superdry now.”
Tommy: “I went to bed an ‘uman and woke up an ávian”
Tubbo: *joins VC*
Tubbo: “I’m a psycopath.”
Ranboo: “Do not high-five the alcoholic flowers, they do not deserve it.”
Tommy: “I told my girl ‘no kissing tonight I’m watching Philza Minecraft’”
Tubbo: “HOLY SHIT THE RESTAURANT IS ON FIRE!”
Tommy: “Why are you Scottish?”
*drives by oil extractor thingies*
Everyone, chanting: “America, America, America, America-”
Bad: “Since I’ve shaved my head I realized a few advantages, One is that I run faster.”
Karl: “From the makers of Dream: Dream 2”
Ranboo: “Preparedboo, #...yeah”
Tubathon Chat: "Let's be gay let's do crime let's go sub with prime!"
Phil: “I never expected to be eating a grilled cheese in front of 300 thousand people, but here we are.
Wilbur: “Philza minecraft is a dentist, Philza minecraft recommends Colgate.”
Quackity: “I’m going to eat myself out cha-”
Quackity: *instant regret*
Quackity: “Let’s have a taste of myse-”
Quackity: “Hm.”
Tommy: “His name is Philza Minecraft and he is quite troubled”
Phil: *smashes computer screen with a baseball bat while shouting*
Quackity: “I guess I’ll watch hentai someday if they have intros this cool”
Quackity: “what does it mean to have daddy issues.”
Schlatt: “Uh oh, another child just flatlined”
Schlatt: “bumbumbum, another one bites the dust”
Quackity: “You can’t say that when a kid just died-”
Schlatt: “And another one gone and another one gone, another one bites the dust”
George: “Nonononono, say ‘YOU SENT ME THE CRAZIEST STUFF’ then have it right there and pull it up- then rip his head off” [it as in Obama cutout]
Quackity: “No that could be misinterpreted by the FBI as something else”
Karl: “Dream really thinks he’s in his Obama arc”
Sapnap: “I’m not gonna miss a single shot lets go””
Sapnap: *misses*
Sapnap: "/locate stronghold"
Quackity: "/shutup."
Dream: “GEORGE LOVES MONEY SO MUUUUCHH”
Sapnap: “GEORGE WON’T SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP”
Thank you for reading this mess of quotes that I think deserve more attention.
Have a good day and drink some water. Also I might add more, in another chapter but probably not due to my chronic procrastinating