Work Text:
The ups and downs and roundabouts
What are they leading to?
The in-betweens and silly doubts
How do we make it through?
She almost didn’t pick up the phone. But then she recognized the number and before she knew it she was saying hello. All she heard was sobbing on the other end. ‘Rachel?’ No response but the quiet sobbing. Now her heartbeat picked up and her fingers tightened on her phone. ‘Rach,’ she said more forcefully. ‘What happened?’ a slight hitch in breathing and then she heard a familiar voice say brokenly. ‘Quinn.. I .. I.. choked’ ‘What did you..’ Quinn suddenly realized with horror just what Rachel was talking about. Her Nyada audition. It had been today. ‘Rach, listen to me,’ she said slowly and carefully. ‘Come over’ the crying halted and then an unsure ‘Are you sure? ‘Yes, Quinn said firmly. ‘Now?' ‘Yes now Rachel Berry!', Quinn said and couldn't help smiling at that. ‘Ok.’ Rachel said just before she hung up.
Twenty minutes later, she heard the doorbell ring. This was followed quickly by a timid knock on her bedroom door. ‘Come in,’ she said. Quinn watched as the door opened slowly and Rachel came into view. Her normally bright face was flushed, her eyes red and swollen and her bangs in disarray. ‘Come here,' Quinn said simply motioning Rachel over to her bed where she sat leaning against the pillows. Opening her arms, she held them out for Rachel. Once Rachel was close enough, Quinn pulled gently on her hands until she climbed into bed next to her. Once she was there she closed her arms around Rachel and just hugged her.
It took Rachel thirty minutes of crying into Quinn shoulders before she could stop. All that time Quinn just held her gently rubbing her hands up and down Rachel’s back. Though sitting there for that long without movement was hurting her back she didn’t say anything. She just waited patiently until she was sure Rachel had stopped. Rachel gently extracted herself from Quinn’s arms. ‘God.. I am so sorry,’ she said suddenly feeling self-conscious and out of place. ‘Rach,’ Quinn said softly locking her eyes on to her face. ‘Tell me what happened’. Rachel swallowed hard, feeling like she would fall apart all over again. ‘Please’, implored Quinn reaching out and grabbing her hands gently. Rachel focused on their interlinked hands as she began to tell what had happened. How her lifelong dream had shattered into pieces. In less than fifteen minutes she had lost everything she had worked so hard for.
Quinn said nothing as she listened. Rachel finally looked up to see hazel eyes locked onto her face. ‘Rachel, she said. ‘I have always been sure of one thing. You are a star. You are incredibly talented and you are going to make it to Broadway.’ Rachel shook her head mutely too tired to voice her objections. ‘Yes, you will.’ Quinn tugged on her hand again forcing Rachel to look up. ‘This is just a setback. I know you will make it to New York. Okay? Believe that. Don’t give up now’ Rachel found herself nodding as she stared into the very certain and mesmerizing hazel eyes in front of her. ‘Say it,’ Quinn demanded. ‘I will make it to New york.’ ‘And Broadway!'. ‘and Broadway,' Rachel repeated forcing a smile. ‘Even if you don’t believe it right now, I do,’ Quinn said. ‘and I will until the day you start believing in yourself again. You are a star and don’t you dare forget it. Quinn said forcefully, words rushing out fast. ‘Promise me you won’t!' her hands tightened almost painfully on Rachel’s hands.
Rachel found herself flashing back to the day in glee when Quinn had told the glee members about her acceptance into Yale. The same intense look was in Quinn’s eyes again, making her feel like she could see right into her soul. ‘I promise,' Rachel said squeezing back just as hard. She meant every word. Quinn nodded once and then her face broke into a gorgeous smile that had Rachel smiling genuinely back at her. ‘Thank you for listening’, she said letting Quinn hands go. Quinn nodded and as she shifted pain flashed across her face. She let out a soft gasp. Instantly Rachel scrambled up. ‘Oh my god, are you hurting? Did I hurt you.. Should I call y…’ ‘Rachel,’ Quinn interrupted her rant. ‘Relax. I just. It’s just time for my meds. ‘Okay.’ Rachel let out a breathe she didn’t know she was holding. ‘I.. do you want me to get them?’ she asked tentatively. ‘Uh.. yes, please’, Quinn said softly . ‘It’s in there’, she said pointing at her bedside drawer.
Rachel opened the drawer and pulled out three bottles. ‘I just need those two,’ Quinn said motioning with her hands to the ones Rachel held up. Taking one from each bottle, Rachel wordlessly dropped them into Quinn’s hand and handed her the glass of water on the table. Quinn tossed them in one motion and drank water with a slight grimace. Handing the glass back Quinn slowly shifted and pulled down the pillows supporting her back. Rachel watched as she navigated her body so that she was lying down instead of sitting. ‘I should go..’ she began wringing her hands. ‘No,’ Quinn said quickly. ‘I mean, you don’t have to.’ ‘Are you sure you don’t need to rest?’ Rachel said. ‘Yes, stay please.’ Quinn said softly. ‘Come over here.’ She said patting the empty space next to her on the bed. ‘Lie down next to me’ she said almost bashfully. Rachel smiled as she walked back to the bed and slowly lay down next to Quinn.For a while they just lay there comfortable in their silence.
‘Quinn?’ Rachel said shifting on to her side so she could watch Quinn’s profile. ‘Hmm?,' Quinn said turning her head to look at Rachel. ‘Why haven’t you been coming to school this week?' Quinn was silent for a moment before she answered. ‘I.. It’s been a long week. A bad one,’ she confessed. ‘The pain has been worse. Some day’s it just too much so I stay home in bed.’ Like today. Her voice caught in her throat and she cleared it. ‘I haven’t been making any progress in therapy either.’
Rachel’s warm hands slipped back into hers and squeezed gently. ‘You will walk again.’ Quinn let out a breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob. ‘And you will dance again.’ Rachel continued propping herself up on her elbows and looking straight at Quinn. ‘I know you will because you are the bravest person I know. You have been through so much Quinn. I .. Remember when I said you’re a lot more than the prettiest girl I ever met’, Quinn nodded brushing away the tears leaking out of her eyes with her free hand. She looked back at Rachel. At the sincerity and determination on her face. ‘Well, you are also strong, smart and talented. You are going to walk, dance and make it to Yale. You will make it out of here. Out of Lima.’ Rachel said sounding her like her former sure self. ‘I believe in that’, Quinn let out a watery laugh because now Rachel was the one comforting her.
‘We will make it', she corrected staring at Rachel. Rachel nodded. ‘We will’ Brown eyes stared into hazel eyes and a silent promise was made. Once again they lay side by side, hands linked. Quinn could feel her pain meds kicking in and making her drowsy. She didn’t say anything because she wanted Rachel to stay a while longer. Rachel meanwhile was exhausted from all the emotional upheaval but was reluctant to leave. I’ll leave in a few minutes, Rachel told herself as she closed her eyes. Before they both knew it, they drifted off to sleep together, hands still linked, and their dreams somehow tied together now as well.