Work Text:
Focus…one, two, three, four, five
One head, one torso, two arms, two legs, two hands, two feet, 5 digits attached to each of them. They had a head of hair which they knew was dark, a brown overcoat, a purple outfit, grey skin, a mouth, and a white eye. They don’t remember their face, it was now obscured by a permanent shadow. They did not mind as there was no one around to see it.
Now count…One, two, three, four, five.
This is what they looked like. They were real. This was real. They had a different mode of existence before this, that was something that they couldn’t forget. It wasn’t always this…nothingness. This void. Once they were a person with experiences and feelings. They didn’t always look like this, if they remember correctly. Being on your own for so long made your head mix up. What happened…?
That was the question they had asked themselves for a very long time now. They didn’t know how long, the passage of time here was hard to nail down. It felt like many…many years. They stopped trying to keep track of it after a while. But it was long enough to forget whoever they used to be. Their face, their name, their life…it was all lost to time now.
Whoever they were, they were able to see themselves if they looked down. So it was safe to assume this wasn’t darkness, they could see. Which lead to the conclusion that they were simply floating in nothingness. It was scary at first, the complete lack. Followed by the thought of if nothing is here then nothing would be able to harm them!
They went down this rabbit hole over and over again. What was this place? Who were they? Why can’t they remember, they want to remember! REMEMBER WHAT? What they looked like? Where they are? How they got here? Their name? Who knows! Not them! Not-…
one. two. three. four. five.
one, two, three, four, five.
“One, two, three, four, five…”
They shoulders slowly dropped from their tense position and their balled fists relaxed. Easy now…there was no point in getting upset anymore. Whoever they were, it’s not who they are now. And wherever they came from, it’s not where they are now. They were alone.
One, two, three, four, five…
It wasn’t all bad. I mean, there was hardly any good, but if they didn’t find something to do then they would have lost themselves completely. All they had was themselves. That would be today’s activity. Make a list of things they liked to do.
Starting off easy, they liked counting. They loved counting. It was easy, grounding, it kept their voice stable and their mind fresh. Their current record was 6,450,350.
They liked making lists, organizing thoughts into a particular order. It kept things orderly, controlled.
Sleeping was an easy pass time, not entertaining but they didn’t not enjoy it.
By far the most exciting thing they did was make stories. They have many stories on where they came from, about what this void was, where their coat came from, why they have hair. Anything and everything around them had a story, which wasn’t much.
There wasn’t much else they needed. Need… but what do they want? They want to remember…they weren’t doing this again today. They would stay collected.
One, two, three, four, five.
four, three, two…
Counting backwards? They hadn’t thought of that in a bit, counting forwards worked just fine for them. They…they hadn’t thought of that.
They hadn’t thought that.
Who’s…who’s thought was that?
Someone else thought that. They had gone crazy before in the past and had irrational thoughts, impulsive thoughts. But that’s not what this was. That thought was not theirs, it was implanted by someone else.
“Who’s there…w-who’s there…?!”
Count like you usually do. You are about to visualize something. Can you do that?
“ I…I don’t understand who…who are you? I am not thinking this. Are you me? Where am I, do you know? “
I can’t explain right now. Please start counting.
“…one, two, three, four, five….”
After a few moments of counting to five, small white letters slowly materialized in front of them. Feeling their breathing pick up their eyes forcefully squinted at the sudden visualization.
“One, two, three, four, five-“ they choked out.
It came as a surprise that they could still read. They had not seen words for a very long time. Memories started brewing, causing them to begin to panic once more. Covering their eye, they attempted to avert their gaze. A gentle feeling came over them as their ‘not thoughts’ returned.
I understand it is difficult. But so is making you think these words. Please read. I need to speak with you.
It had been a while since this kind of dread and terror of the unknown came over them. The feeling was slightly dulled by the same gentle feeling they were offered before. After a few moments they slowly uncovered their eye and looked down at the words, body shaking.
Hello. I am here to help you. You can call me Settings. Can you read this?
“I…yes. I-I can…what’s happening? What’s changed? Where am I please please tell me-“ They were cut off my new words appearing.
I can’t tell you right now. I’m here to warn you. You are about to be taken out of here.
The fear that swept over them overpowered the gentle energy that was presumably from Settings.
“Now…? Wait now?”
This was all they knew. This was EVERYTHING. Taken out of here…? What did that mean? What was out of here? If just seeing these words was difficult for them then how we’re they going to be able to exist with another new mode of existence? They weren’t, Settings was here to warn them. They felt like they were going to throw up.
I can’t stop it from happening. Keep counting, you are real.
With a moment of hesitation, they felt the gentle presence leave. They were left a trembling mess. What…what did they do? How do they prepare for something like this? Keep counting.
“One two three four five. One two three four five-“
A blinding light spilled into the blackness of their void. They weren’t ready. They never would be ready. They missed Settings.
“One two three four five one two three four five one-“
“Now surely there’s something new in here Stanley! Why I haven’t looked in here since-“
Slamming their hands over their ears at the sudden new sounds they began to hyperventilate.
“What is…that?”
one two three four five-
”Who the hell are you?”
ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE-