Chapter Text
“Have you ever thought about it before, Alatus?”
“Thought about what exactly?”
“What we were made to do; what we were created to be,”
“Well, I don’t really need to think about it. We were created for the soul purpose of protecting Liyue, nothing else,”
“But, do you really think that’s it? Do you really think that’s all the god’s intended for us to be? Why give us emotions and thoughts when all we were intended to be were weapons?”
“I’m sure that they gave us those things so that we would be able to make tactical judgments and such,”
“Come on! Don’t you think that we are capable of living a somewhat normal life one day?”
“I wouldn’t count on it,”
The soft chirps of the birds and the harsh light of the rising sun, slowly awoke the slumbering yaksha, who dozed off without even realizing it.
“...Was that a dream? What were they talking about? A normal life? How… naïve. As long as I’m still breathing I’ll never be able to indulge in the luxuries that mortals enjoy all too much,” he groggily mumbled to himself as he got up from underneath the tree he was resting against.
Who even was that in that dream, anyways? Xiao couldn’t remember. They sounded familiar, yet at the same time, not. They used “we” so he assumed that they must have been an adeptus or maybe even a yaksha. Perhaps they were trying to communicate to him, but Xiao thought this unlikely considering that dreams are, well, just that, dreams. However, he believed that there is a possibility that it could’ve been a memory that had resurfaced and took form in his dream.
He fidgeted with a leaf that had fallen into his hair as he slept, unsure of what to make of this. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to pay one of the shrines of one of the adepti a visit, just to place an offering to provide some comfort and soothe any unease their souls might be facing. If he goes to the Wangshu Inn, he might even be able to have one of their chefs prepare some food for him to bring to the shrine. Bringing food as an offering was always a safe bet when it came to the adepti, Xiao was no exception to this. The almond tofu that the chef at the inn always prepared for him was something that he could never become tired of and he had always wondered if the other adepti would like it as much as he did if they were to try it. Unfortunately for him, there weren’t too many adepti willing to share this sentiment with him. Not to mention he wasn’t the best when it came to any sort of relationships, since he usually preferred the silence of solitude rather than the noise that comes with a companion. But every once in a while, on days such as today, Xiao wished that there was someone willing to share a small and simple thing such as having a meal together.
The wind blew from behind Xiao as he made his way towards the recently repaired temple of a former adepti. The wind was so strong it was practically pushing Xiao up towards the temple and he had to make sure that he didn’t spill any of the food that he had been given. The temple that Xiao was going to was a temple that Xiao visited the most often out of the other adepti seeing how it used be neglected and had fallen into a state of disrepair, but thankfully, a man by the name of Wang Ping’an, along with the help of Aether, helped rebuild the temple as a way of giving back to the adepti as he had once tried to impersonate an adeptus. Xiao took a moment to admire the work that Ping’an and Aether had put into fixing up the old temple. It meant more to him than he was inclined to let those two know. As he was taking in the exterior of the temple, two familiar faces emerged from the temple entrance.
“Hey, Aether, is that Xiao?” a shrill sounding voice mentioned to the person standing next to her.
The young blond-haired man looked in the direction in which his floating companion was pointing and smiled when he locked eyes with Xiao. Xiao was hoping that no one else would be at the temple, but if it’s just Aether then he figured that it would be acceptable.
“Hey, Xiao!” Aether called out to Xiao while waving at him from afar.
“What are you two doing here?” Xiao inquired as he walked up to them.
“Oh, we were just here to see the progress of the temple construction and to light some incense! What are you doing here? Are you here to pay your respects too? Oh! Is that food an offering for Prevases?” Paimon asked.
“Yes, I just wanted to offer some almond tofu to appease Prevases’s spirit, I thought that maybe they would like it,”
Xiao walked past the two visitors and placed the food on the offering table, while also lighting some incense of his own.
“How have you been doing recently, Xiao?” Aether asked.
“My well-being shouldn’t be that much of a concern to you,” he replied coldly, causing Aether to recoil a little at his harshness.
“But, since you asked, I’ve been fine… thanks for asking,” Xiao added, now feeling a small twinge of guilt rising in his gut.
“How about you? How has your search for your sister been going?”
Aether’s face fell, “We haven’t been able to figure out much lately. I just want to figure out why she is siding with the abyss and what happened to her for her to act like this,”
“...I’m sorry to hear that,”
“It’s fine. Don’t worry. It’s just been difficult to keep my hope up that one day we will be able to find her, you know?”
“I understand,”
Aether stepped closer to Xiao, which startled Xiao causing him to take a step back.
“Don’t get too close to me, you know what happens when mortals–”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, mortals can’t get too close because they can’t handle your karmic debt and all that. Listen–” Aether grabbed his hand, “are you sure you’re alright? You seem distracted,”
Xiao tensed up from the sudden touch from the mortal. Everything inside him was screaming at him to pull his hand away out of fear that by coming into contact with Aether might harm him, but at the same time he just didn’t want to. It had been so long since someone had been this close to him.
“Y-yes. I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” Xiao stammered while pulling his hand away from him. “I have to go now.”
Aether and Paimon barely had time to say their goodbyes before Xiao vanished quickly into thin air.
From the temple, Xiao teleported away to the top of the Wangshu Inn, the place where he felt safest. As soon as he got there, he took a moment to catch his breath, since it had suddenly become difficult for him to breathe. Why was he so shaken up? Was he really that scared of coming into contact with a mortal? He didn’t realize how much he feared harming others by simply being in their presence.
“What could have possibly gotten a hardened warrior such as yourself so rattled like that?” A deep, yet familiar voice asked.
Xiao looked up to see the figure of Rex Lapis standing there, looking out from the balcony. His figure was illuminated by the sun that made him almost look as though he was glowing.
“It’s nothing important that you should worry about; I’m fine. What brings you here? Do you need me to do something for you?”
Rex Lapis turned his head to give Xiao a suspicious glance, clearly not buying what Xiao was telling him, only to then turn his head back towards the scenic view he was previously looking at.
“People have been worried about you lately, you know,”
“It seems so. I’m not sure as to why, though. I’m perfectly fine, nothing has changed,”
“That’s why people have been worried about you, Xiao. Nothing has changed for you. You remain shut out from the rest of the world and insist on suffering in silence, even though there are plenty of people who would be willing to listen and support you. Think of this little meeting as a sort of intervention, if you will,”
“I didn’t realize that today was ‘check up on your local yaksha day’. First Aether, then you,”
“Ah, you saw Aether today? I, too, ran into him the other day and we began chatting about his travels and the interesting artifacts that he had found along the way. However, he did ask about how you were doing and I told him that I didn’t quite know myself since you never open up to anyone, so it’s kind of hard to tell,”
“So you were the one who planted that idea into his head that I wasn’t alright?”
“Not necessarily. He must have come to that conclusion himself, but he would be right to assume so, correct?”
“How many times do I have to you, I’m fine . Nothing is wrong with the way I live my life. It’s been this way for a while now, so why the sudden concern? My definition of fine might look different than yours but that’s just because I have become so accustomed to it,”
“We just want you to be more open with those who care about you, that’s all. I freed the yaksha from that evil god and the only thing I wanted in return was for them to protect the people of Liyue. But, along with that I wanted them to be happy. I know that might be a tall order to ask of you considering everything you’ve been through and are currently going through, but I hope one day you will be able to fulfill that request. Of course don’t neglect your responsibilities as a yaksha, but I would like for you to maybe branch out a little,”
Rex Lapis turned around to face Xiao, “By the way, Aether seemed willing to spend more time with you, and you two seem to be somewhat close to each other, so why not start there? I’m sure he’ll appreciate the company,”
Rex Lapis gave him a warm smile and small wave before he walked past Xiao to descend down the stairs of the inn, leaving Xiao to himself once more. Have people seriously been that concerned over him? Xiao felt honored that people would care so much about him, but felt as though their sentiments were wasted on someone like him. He was supposed to live like this. Perpetually distended to bear the weight of the sins he’s committed. That was how he was designed to be. Out of everyone, Xiao thought that Rex Lapis would understand this. And why would he even suggest talking to others and becoming closer with mortals? He knows that he couldn’t do that even if he wanted to, so why bother even mentioning it? Whatever the reason was, it didn’t matter. Nothing was going to change.
There’s a small cliff in Liyue that overlooks Huang Stone Forest that has one of the best views that one could possibly imagine. Not many people know of this place, which is one of the reasons why Xiao particularly likes visiting this spot. However, instead of looking at the breathtaking view that surrounds him when he occupies this spot, he instead likes to turn his towards the sky. Even though Xiao might not seem like the type, one of his guilty pleasures is that he enjoys watching the clouds. It’s a pastime that not many people who know Xiao are aware of, considering that he doesn’t really want people to ruin this small pleasure. Watching the clouds pass by and seeing the different shapes and forms within the clouds themselves is something that is very relaxing and calming to Xiao. He finds it such a simple-minded way to spend his time, but for some reason, whenever he’s feeling more overwhelmed than normal, he keeps finding himself coming back to the little secluded cliff.
After yesterday’s events, Xiao wanted to tune out the world and get truly entranced by the slowly rolling clouds at his special little spot. He was so heavily anticipating coming back to the cliff that he even brought a blanket to lay on and had asked the chef at the inn to make him some more food to bring with him. A picnic for one.
But before he was able to make it to his spot, he heard some soft humming coming from the direction of the cliff's edge.
Great. He thought to himself. Why did there just happen to be someone at his spot at the same time he needed it the most?
However, before he left to find a lesser cliff, he wanted to at least see the asshole who decided to set up camp at his spot, just commit whosoever face it was to memory to curse later. Maybe he would even mess with the person there to try and get them to leave. Xiao didn’t mess around when it came to his cloud watching.
He found a spot near some bushes to leave his blanket and food, so they wouldn’t get in the way of his childish plan. He quietly crept up towards the top of the cliff, ready to scare the shit out of the poor fool who found this spot to rest on. However, just before he could pop out of the bushes and startle the idiot away, he recognized that blond hair that the idiot had.
Is that… Aether?
The sudden shock of realizing just who he was about to spook, startled Xiao instead, causing him to lose his footing and trip on a branch. The good news was that Xiao’s plan did work; the person sitting at his spot was, in fact, startled. The bad news was that Xiao was face down on the ground with Aether, who now had his sword pointed at him out of fear he was about to be attacked, looking at him like he was a freak. And, in all honesty, Xiao really did look like a freak at this moment.
“...Xiao? Is that you?”
Xiao responded with a muffled and weak sounding ‘yes’, unwilling to move from the position he landed in out of pure embarrassment.
“Are you ok?”
“Never been better,” Xiao said to the ground, while giving a pathetic looking thumbs up.
“Here, let me help you,”
Sensing that Aether was going to reach towards him, Xiao quickly snapped out of his mortified state to try and distance himself from Aether.
“I’m alright, see?” Xiao tried to reassure him, but his body betrayed him as he felt a warm sensation rush out from his nose.
Aether gasped. “You’re bleeding! Let me get you a handkerchief or something. Let’s see… What do I have..?”
Aether began rummaging around in his pockets to try and find something to stop Xiao’s nose from bleeding. He eventually pulled out a white handkerchief that had the initials K.A. on them.
“This was a present that Ayaka gave to me, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind,” Aether said as he reached forward to try and whip the blood from Xiao’s face.
Before he could, however, Xiao grabbed his hand, stopping him from coming any closer.
“Thanks.” Xiao took the handkerchief from his hand and brought it to his face.
His head was lowered towards the ground, still too mortified to look Aether in the eyes. He also didn’t want him to notice how red his face was, a result that was caused mostly from embarrassment.
“...So, what brings you here?” Aether said, breaking the tense silence between them.
“I heard that there was demon activity nearby in this area, so I was just taking a look around,”
“Is that why you were hiding in that bush over here?” Aether gestured towards the bush and then reached his hand out to move the brush out of the way to reveal where Xiao was hiding.
“W-wait! Don’t–!” Xiao exclaimed as Aether was poking around the bush.
“Oh? What’s this?” Aether said as he pulled out the basket of food and blanket that he had foolishly placed by the bush he was hiding in.
“Is this… a picnic basket and blanket? Were you planning on having a picnic here?”
“That’s not mine,”
“Xiao, this wasn’t here when I got here and no one ever comes around these parts too often so the likelihood that someone else left these here that wasn’t you is very slim. Also, there’s almond tofu in here,” Aether retorted as he opened up the picnic basket.
Xiao’s hand was now covering his red face, “I-um…”
Aether let out a small chuckle, “Aww! That’s so cute of you!”
The yaksha lifted his head a bit to meet the eyes of Aether’s.
“I’ve only really known you to be the distant adepti who never opens up to anyone, so to see this softer side of you is… I don’t know… it’s nice. To get to know you better, that is,”
“Please don’t tell anyone about this,”
“I promise, I won’t. It’ll be our little secret,” Aether playfully said.
“Anyways… where’s Paimon?”
“Oh, she wanted to help Xiangling taste test some new dishes that she made. So, I came here for some alone time, but I don’t mind the company if you want to join me,” He raised the basket as an invitation.
“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to share my meal with,”
“Great! I’ll set out the blanket,”
Aether set down the basket and began shaking out the blanket to lay it down on the dewy grass of the cliff. After it was laid out, Xiao took the basket and placed it on top of the blanket and started taking out the contents. However, there wasn’t much in the basket, considering that Xiao wasn’t planning on having any guests with him.
“Sorry, I don’t have much food. You can have it I don’t mind,”
Aether sat down next to Xiao, which made Xiao nervous, “No! I don’t want to steal your food away from you. It’s all yours, you should enjoy it,”
“I feel rude if I were to eat in front of you when you don’t have food of your own,”
“It’s fine, I don't mind. But, if you really wanted to, we could just share the food,”
“I guess so,”
Xiao picked up a piece of tofu with his chopsticks and held it up to Aether’s mouth. It was quick, but Xiao could have sworn that Aether’s cheek reddened a bit as he bit the food off the chopsticks, because as soon as he did, Aether tried his best to casually hide his face from him.
“It’s… good,” he said softly.
“I’m glad that I’m not the only one who thinks that. Yanxiao’s cooking has always been really good and you can tell that he really tries to create the best dishes that he can for me,” Xiao said as he popped a piece of tofu into his own mouth.
Xiao was so distracted by the tofu that he had forgotten how close the two were sitting next to each other. He finally noticed when he looked down and saw that their legs were pretty much touching at this point, which almost made Xiao choke on his food. He then used this opportunity of him almost coughing up his own lungs to move further away from Aether, who was desperately searching in the basket for some water for Xiao. Eventually, the coughing subsided and Xiao had successfully moved to the opposite side of the blanket.
“I think I’m done eating for now,” Xiao said, voice still raspy from the coughing fit.
That’s when Aether finally found the water bottle that was buried at the bottom of the basket.
“Aha! I found it!” he exclaimed.
He then shuffled over next to where Xiao was sitting and handed him the bottle, foiling Xiao’s plot of moving away from him.
“Aether…” he sighed, “How many times do I have to remind you that you can’t get too close to me,”
“I was waiting for you to bring that up,” he said with a mischievous grin, “I actually conducted a bit of research on my own and found out that people with visions aren’t as affected by the effects of karmic debt of adepti as normal people are! So, that means that I can get as close as you’ll let me and I’ll be relatively fine! Isn’t that great?”
“But, you don’t have a vision, though,”
“Yes, but I still have elemental power. So, using the logic that the elemental power is what is protecting vision holders from the karma, this should be fine,”
“Besides,” Aether continued, “how long has it been since you’ve been hugged?”
“I don’t know about th–” Before Xiao could finish expressing his thoughts on the matter, he was interrupted by the warm embrace by Aether, who tightly hugged him, not caring if Xiao hugged back or not.
The yaksha was in such a state of shock he couldn’t even form a coherent thought, let alone speak. It was just like how he felt back at the temple when he grabbed his hand but greatly amplified. He wanted to pull away but he felt it was an impossible task to perform. He didn’t even know what Aether told him about the elemental power thing was even true and was unsure whether or not he wanted to take that risk, seeing how he knew too many people who were unable to handle the heavy toll caused by the karma. But, at the same time… he couldn’t even remember the last time he had been hugged. Not only that, but Aether also didn’t know if his elemental power will keep him safe from him, and yet, here he is. Hugging him with no semblance of regret in sight. It was ridiculous. So ridiculous, that he didn’t know whether he should laugh or cry. Unable to choose what emotion he should be feeling right now, his body decided for him, making him cry and laugh simultaneously. He thought that he was probably looking like he had lost his mind right now. To tell the truth, it felt like he was, too.
Xiao didn’t even realize that he had started hugging Aether back, until he felt himself gripping Aether’s clothes. Aether seemed to hold him tighter at this, almost as if he was trying to wordlessly tell him that he was here for him.
“I knew that you were being bothered by something,” Aether said in a hushed voice.
“It doesn’t take a scholar to see that I’m lonely,” Xiao responded with a shaky breath, voice muffled from having his face buried in Aether’s shoulder.
Aether giggled at this. “Never thought a simple hug could break such a mighty yaksha such as yourself. If only the demons knew about this tactic, you would be finished,”
“I didn’t know this would break me, too”
Xiao let out a shaky sigh. “I wasn’t truthfully with you earlier, by the way,”
“Oh?”
“I didn’t come here to look for demons, I actually came here to cloud watch,” Xiao could feel his face heat up.
“So, you mean to tell me that you don’t usually bring a basket of food and a blanket with you every time you go demon hunting? I could have never guessed that you were lying,”
“Ha ha,” Xiao said in a sarcastic tone.
“But, cloud watching, huh? Such a wholesome pastime for someone like you. It sounds so calming,”
Xiao pulled his face away from Aether’s shoulder so that he could look at him and gave him a giddy smile. “Right!? I like watching them because I think it’s fun to see the different shapes in the clouds and imagine what they could possible resemble,”
Aether looked a little shocked from the sudden excitement from Xiao, something that he has never really seen from him before.
“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to get so worked up about it. I’ve just never told anyone about this before and it’s something that I have been doing for a while now, so, I just kind of–”
“Xiao. Don’t apologize. I honestly find it kind of adorable that you’re so passionate about something,”
Xiao felt something melt away when he said those words. It felt like a weight was lifted from his soul and he felt so much lighter, as if he could almost float away.
“Anyways, would you like to join me in watching the clouds?” Aether asked.
“Yes, I would love nothing more,” Xiao replied.
