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The orange haired sighed, what a tiring day it had been. The past days had been packed with hard singing practice. Long days full of practicing and practicing to improve. He wasn't forced to neglect his basic needs to improve his skills, still he was more willing to do that. He wanted to become better. He needed to become better.
Skill comes from hard practice only, so that's exactly what he had been doing.
After all, they had to surpass Rad Weekend someday. As sooner the day would have come the better it would have been.
"Akito, are you okay?"
A gentle and very clear voice pulled him out of his suffocating thoughts, the smaller turned his head to where the voice came from.
Toya was standing there, he came fresh out of a shower and was currently sitting down on the raven black leathery armchair in his room as he was drying his half and half hair with a towel.
Right, the both of them were currently at Toya's house since no one of his family was home, neither his dad nor his brothers, leaving both Vivid Vad Squad member at peace.
Peace on the other hand wasn't really common shared value in the Shinonome household. Every time the pair tried to hang out in Akitos room Ena would them disturb them. Big sisters are like that right? Prying into the lives of their oh so interesting little brothers? He was sick of it.
Be that as it may, the orange haired really felt relived when he came over to Toya's house, even though the atmosphere could be tense from time to time because of the latter's father. Luckily he wasn't there, it made things way easier.
Changing the scenery from time to time wasn't so bad after all. One's own four little walls could seem very restricting sometimes, as if they were trying to lock you in there for eternity.
In fact, Akito really enjoyed spending time with the taller in the latter's room. Sometimes it felt like their own little bubble only they were allowed to live in. Noting could disturb them in there. Only they mattered in their bubble. Could that bubble ever burst? He was wondering.
Scrambling those thoughts, he wasn't really sure what he was thinking about, Akito let his gaze wander across Toya's room.
The blue haired's room really reminded him of an apartment of the big city center due to the large window which reached from the gray floor tiles all the way up to the ceiling. The furniture was very simple but also very futuristic in some way. It fitted Toya's personality, it really did.
Akito liked visiting the other's room. It had a nice vibe to it. One could even label it as Toya's vibe.
Was he finally able to relax here again? Or should he rather use the time for practice?
"You sure you're okay?" Akito heard the taller say again since he previously didn't get an answer form the smaller. The latter was just too focused on staring holes into his bedroom wall while being lost in his own waves of diverse thoughts which were throwing him around on the open sea of the mind.
The taller was a bit further away from him, the orange haired was sitting in the bed and Toya on the armchair. The wall which was targeted by Akito' empty green eyes intensely staring at it was located behind Toya.
What exactly had he been pondering about again?
"Yeah, I was just thinking." The smaller answered briefly as he was forced to snap out of his train of thoughts. Meeting the gray pair of eyes with his own, Akito flopped back on the bed to lay on it, spreading his limbs out as he sighed.
"About?" Toya asked with a rather curious gaze in his gray eyes. Even if his face tended to be rather unexpressiv and dull he managed to compensate his deficit by expressing with his eyes only. They were so focused and powerful, yet so endearing at the same time.
Was Akito the only one who was lucky enough to be gifted the loveable look in his eyes?
Continuing to spread out his limbs on the bed to stretch, the orange haired put his underarm on his face to cover his green eyes. Was he trying to block out the artificial light or did he want to block out his self doubting thoughts? After letting out another sustained sigh he finally managed to speak up again.
"Our performances." Akito stated to which the other shook his head in disbelief: "Honestly, I think you're practicing way too much."
"Im not overdoing things, okay?" The smaller huffed as he defended himself. His body shot up to sit upright on the bed – a bad decision indeed since his body was aching – his hooded eyes confronting the male who was sitting on the leathery little couch with an accusing look.
"Im just saying. You can speak your mind if something is bothering you, you know? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Or to improve?" Toya questioned as he beamed a subtle reassuring smile at the smaller. That was all he could do for now.
The orange haired then stood up to walk closer to the taller. Without any warning the smaller plopped himself down on the other's lap, rising his legs to place his feet on the cushion next to Toya as he leaned to his right side to hide his face in the taller's neck. Pulling his legs closer to himself, the orange haired became a small curled up ball on the older's lap. Snuggling closer to the warmth Akito sighed again. Toya on the other hand gently wrapped his arms around the smaller in his embrace to prevent him from falling off his lap.
Oh so that was what Toya could do for him.
Even though the feisty orange haired didn't look like he often yearned for physical comfort in his arms – it was a kind of glue to fix the broken facade – Akito often came to the other to request those things. He loved being held close in his lover's arms. He loved being reassured by his lover's kind words. He loved being taken care of by his lover's kindness.
Despite the sometimes even tiniest reason why he began doubting himself, he still enjoyed the affirmations he received. Was he really that selfish? Or was he blaming himself again because of relying on other people's opinions and actions?
"You want to talk about it?" The taller lowered his voice as he kept his delicate but firm grip around the other as tight as possible, careful enough to not hurt the fragile orange haired. Although his facade had broken down he still didn't want to shatter the remaining vulnerable parts.
His feisty and gutsy exterior seemed unshakeable on the outside, an illusion created by a strong, always on the goal focused character. Yet that facade was vulnerable, displaying various little cracks from time to time. Sometimes it would break down.
A fragile facade. Too fragile for him to hold it securely in his arms. Still, he would make sure to pick up the pieces to put them all together again. Even the tiniest glass shards weren't too small to he picked up by his hands. He was there to fix it.
"Maybe" Akito said under his breath, his hands slowly found their way upwards to rest again the older's shoulder. Fingers digging into the black hoodie Toya was wearing, the orange haired sighed as he finally received the support he needed.
"Take your time." The blue haired whispered reassuringly as he started to caress the smaller back. Overcoming his shyness Toya managed to place a small and sweet little peck on the smaller's hairline. The smaller couldn't help but to crack a little smile.
As if he was trying to hide, Akito pressed his head deeper into the fabric of the taller's hoodie. After another sigh he was able to attempt an explanation of what was currently going on inside him: "Arata was right, I'm really the most boring member of vivid bad squad"
"Is the matter still bugging you?" Toya asked softly to which the other nodded against his chest, snuggling deeper into the fabric. Considering the things he should or rather shouldn't say Toya decided to go with something more neutral which consisted of a bit of praise.
Akito often tended to have a thick skull, making it difficult to remove questionable conclusions from his stubborn mind. Dealing with things like these definitely was everything else than easy, especially for Toya whose commutative skills were limited as he sometimes was forced to meet his own barriers.
"That's not true. I wouldn't be spending time with you if you were boring" The taller spoke, his hand still calmly drawing circles on he smaller back. After he said those words he felt Akito tensing up again, the hint of relaxation completely leaving his body.
"Thanks I guess? But that's not what I mean. I was referring to performing." Akito elaborated further as he felt a bit offended by the taller's words. Normally he would shrug it off without any problem, they had been partners for many years by now and could read the other half like an open book, however it was now different: The performer was already irritated by his decline of improvement, making him more vulnerable for not perfectly chosen words.
Well that 'decline of improvement' was rather only his own opinion. Reality looked a lot different if you asked the people around him who were admiring his leadership and performance skills
"You're amazing. Don't ever think otherwise okay? Your performance is always so good. You're literally perfect. You always help us to improve." Toya reassured softly, stroking some strands of orange hair behind the smaller's ears.
Not receiving any reaction from the male in his arms the taller took it one step further as he cupped the smaller's face to make him look up: "And never doubt my words, okay? I'm just telling you the truth. I know you long enough to see when you're too hard on yourself."
One could see Akito's expression changing once he looked into the taller's gray and genuine eyes which were conveying his spoken message a bit too well. His furrowed brows were changing and he was starting to frown. He was once again doubting Toya's words, wasn't he?
"You're doing so well, never doubt it okay?" The blue haired repeated himself to stress his statement. Subsequently he leaned forward while still delicately holding his face in his hands to place a quick peck on the smaller's lips. Frankly speaking he couldn't hold himself back once he saw that pout on the smaller's face, he just wanted to kiss his pout away.
"Toya-" The orange haired scolded quietly as his green eyes averted the other's gaze, he was caught off guard by the sudden affection. The taller giggled softly at the adorable reaction as he was closing his eyes because of his wide smile. The younger then hid his face in Toya's crook of neck to not display his embarrassment or rather the tiny blush which was beginning to form on his face.
"No, I'm not as good as you guys, I just don't have the talent nor experience. That's why I have to keep practicing to stand out." Akito explained while attempting to breathe calmly, his voice was being muffled because of speaking against the taller's neck. Toya shivered a tad due to the warm sensation on the skin of his neck, then he fully grasped what Akito was saying to object his words:
"Please don't rush things for now. You don't have to shine on your own, right? We all shine as a group, together. And we all need to improve in our own pace. Stressing yourself about it won't do."
Those words. They felt like the glue for his broken outer facade. Too nice to be believable, too dreamy to be considered as reasonable.
"But I have to-"
"You don't have to. Rest for now, okay? Do it for me please? We all have plenty of time to improve." Toya interrupted the smaller before his thoughts could get the best of him. The blue haired then stood up with Akito still resting in his arms, carrying him over to his bed. Immediately the smaller flung his arms around the taller's neck to support himself.
Still fearing he could fall off by any second, the orange haired wrapped his legs around Toya's waist. Body pressed against the other body, the latter plopped down on the bed with Akito still holding onto him, thus the orange haired was settled on his lap again while now facing Toya as he straddled him.
A moment of silence was shared between those two as they held eye contact. There it was again, their own little bubble in which only they were allowed to stay as they floated away.
Akito's cheek was met by the other's hand which was caressing it gently in a steady pace. The look in Toya's eyes was beyond endearing, it made the orange haired want to escape from the bubbly feeling which was forming inside of his stomach because it felt like he couldn't handle it. Leaning against the soft touch on his cheek, Akito closed his eyes to fully savour the sweet moment.
Subsequently the taller turned Akito around by his shoulders so he was faced by Akito's back as he shuffled closer to the headboard to lean against it. Then he wrapped his arms around the smaller from behind, placing both of his hands on the orange haired's stomach.
Akito's head was resting on the taller's shoulder, it was leaned back so he could make eye contact with Toya. The orange haired shut his eyes tightly and suppressed a yelp which turned out to be a whimper when he suddenly felt the warm hands creep under his shirt slowly, staring to massage the skin of his sensitive stomach.
After that the blue haired also began planting small kisses all over the smaller who was sunken between his legs and the comfy covers which Toya had thrown over them a second ago. The taller started from planting kisses on his shoulder and made his way over to the collarbone and neck, then the ear to stop once he reached the cheek. The orange haired was raising his shoulder as a reaction to the ticklish sensation to hide the spots which just had been kissed.
"Akito." The older called out his name, stopping all of his movements. A bit confused due to the rather abrupt pause, the orange haired turned his face around to face the taller. As he did so, he was met by a smirk, not soon after he felt those sweet lips against his own again as Toya hovered a bit over him. Was his brain trying to process the circling hands on his stomach? The warmth from behind him? Or the moving lips which held such an addicting taste and were so embarrassing at the same time?
One hand was placed under the orange haired's chin, forcing to remain in his position and to maintain returning the kiss. Even if he had been able to escape he wouldn't have even tried it.
The hand which was placed there was also stroking the skin of his chin and neck, making him mewl into the kiss.
"Toya!" The smaller scolded even louder than before as he gasped for air after he had broken the kiss. If Toya hadn't kept him close he would have fallen of the bed from the startling kiss.
Akito had to admit. He still couldn't figure out how to handle affection like this properly, thus it was somehow hard for him to accept it. Nevertheless he loved being showered with affection by his lover, being drowned in the unknown sea off bubbly feelings.
"Please take a break from practicing, for me." The older pleaded anew, his hand was still resting under the other's chin which was being stroked by his thumb.
"Okay fine. You leave me no other choice." Akito huffed, unconsciously puffing his cheeks as he looked away. Toya could practically feel how the other sank down in his arms as his tension was disappearing. Was he melting because of the kiss? Toya had to chuckle.
"Also, you've helped us to improve as group so many times already, now it's time for us to take care of you." The blue haired said with a smile on his lips which were still full of the other's taste. Toya's head was recalling every little moment of their history when Akito was there to save the day. Unbelievable that Akito was even doubting himself.
"Thank you bro." The younger giggled as he flipped himself over to lay on his stomach. His head was resting on the taller's chest and so also his hands which were gripping Toya's hoodie tightly. He was looking upwards with his green dreamy eyes as he finally displayed the blush on his cheeks – a sight that could melt even the coldest of heats.
Still, Toya felt a bit bothered by what the smaller said, so he clarified: "Akito, you don't have to call me 'bro'. We've been literally dating for years..."
"Right..."
The taller started laughing. Short after the smaller followed with a wide grin from one ear to another. Akito loved moments like these.
What was he worrying about again?
Oh right, he was able to recall, it was still glass clear in front of eyes, yet he managed to push it into the background. His worries definitely weren't important now nor would worrying solve his problems. All he could do was to have a nice rest to work even harder in the future.
And Toya? He was beyond glad. If Akito felt unwell, he also felt unwell. So he was happy about how Akito was able to let go of it even the tiniest bit. Sure the case wasn't completely closed and there were many hardships yet to come, still they were able to put their cracked pieces back together again.
It was fine. As long as they had each other.
As long they were willing to see the other –
without his fragile facade.