Chapter Text
It was midnight within Vtuber Town, and there was barely a person about on the streets. The roads were also barren, since they were far from any major roads or highways. One might have assumed that so many virtual streamers moving in would increase activity, but even that had not caused the place to become like a city hub.
For the few people out on this warm summer night, this meant plenty of tranquility and peace. A few simply drank in the silence, trying to fight insomnia or otherwise get ready to sleep. Others walked in parks that were open all day, searching for night critters to observe.
For IRyS, she was just glad it meant there were few obstructions to stop her from carrying her wife.
As they turned onto the street their house was on, she took a deep breath and adjusted her grip on Bae, who was practically limp. “This is the last time that I take you out drinking in the dead of night. ‘Oh, don’t worry IRyS! I’ll drink responsibly. I just want to go out so that I get sleepy!’ Why did I believe you?”
The Embodiment of Chaos was not even able to turn her head, which was flushed and swung around like dead weight. “Uh... whuut? Wwwheerree... is my wife cloose? I feeeell... ooohhhhh...”
Sighing, the Nephilim worked harder to drag them along. “You’re wife is right here, Bae. I’m sorry - this is partially my fault. I should have paid more attention to how much alcohol was in those drinks. You trusted me to check, and-”
“Iiiitttt’ss fiiine!” the rat-girl mumbled, now giggling airily. “You are a goood persoon! You’re bringing me to my... my wife. She’s sooooo beautiful. You should meet her. Everyone... so jealous of her face, her... curves, and... hhmmmmmm.”
Blushing heavily, IRyS turned her head away from her lover. Jeez, she usually recognizes me even when she’s drunk, she thought. How strong was that stuff she had? This has to be the worst I have ever seen it.
She was not too worried about Bae’s health, of course. She was immortal, had access to chaotic magic (naturally), and plenty of Hololive members had medical experience. The coming morning would undoubtedly be rough, no matter how much she tried to hydrate her now, but it was nothing that could not be handled.
Still, the Nephilim was ashamed of herself for not doing more to prevent this. They had only wanted to do something to make themselves tired due to being too strung up earlier. She should have refused to go to the bar that they discovered not far from them online that was open at night, or made them only drink non-alcoholic beverages.
The moment the Embodiment had brought out her puppy eyes, though, she was never going to be able to refuse. She did not have enough willpower after their long day of work.
She was glad that she had drunk her cocktail slowly and therefore kept most of her faculties. If she had not, then who knows how much more sloshed her wife would have gotten before she noticed. They may have even gotten drunk together and passed out at the bar, which would not have been a fun thing to explain to their managers should they have found out.
Just be glad the situation is not worse, IRyS thought to herself as they finally reached the walkway up to their house. Once at the door, she clumsily tried to get her keys out while keeping the rat-girl supported. She was still a bit tipsy, though, and she grunted as she tried to find them in her purse. Come on. Where are they?
She was interrupted by the sound of chinkling to her side. Looking over, she was shocked to find Bae holding her own house key, though failing to get it into the lock. “Whyyy is the doorhandule moving? It should be stiiiiilllll! I want my wiiifffeee.”
Managing a chuckle at the sight, the Nephilim used her arm to help aim her lover’s hand to the lock. “Don’t worry, Bae. You’ll see her in a minute. I’m sure she’s very glad that you kept your key in a nice, retrievable place.”
The only response she got this time was more giggles, as well as a few yawns. She was glad to see that at least one part of the plan tonight had gone right. The sleep was probably not going to be all that pleasant, but she was glad to have at least a half-victory after having to drag them home.
Once inside, IRyS quickly brought the Embodiment to their bedroom with only a few more stumbles at the door. Once her wife was safely sat on their bed, she used her hands to hold her face and force eye contact. “Just stay here, okay? Don’t try to move around. I’m going to get you some water. Try and stay awake, but if you feel like sleeping, that’s alright.”
It was unclear if the rat-girl understood her words as her glassy eyes barely managed to focus on the face before her. “...IIIRRySS? Izzz that you? Wh... why is the rum gone? No, wait... was it beer...? Can we gooow home?”
The Nephilim silently sighed. “Just don’t move, okay?” With that, she moved away from the bed and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
She took that time to hydrate herself for her own tipsiness and regain her nerves. Seeing Bae like that was an odd combination of cute and annoying, but she could feel the latter growing stronger. This was not like the usual times when her lover became drunk. Every time before, she was capable of following instructions and recognizing her surroundings. Her lips were always looser, but she could still somewhat think things through.
In a way, it did show IRyS that the Embodiment really was a responsible drinker most of the time. She did not think she had the right to complain about their normal outings anymore after this. It only made her feel more guilty about not paying more attention, but she tried to let it go. What was done was done, and she would deal with the consequences.
Feeling more composed, she took the glass of water and walked back to their bedroom. She slowly opened the door so she would not startle the rat-girl and stepped inside...
... Only to find that her wife had removed her shirt, leaving her in only her bra. She was laying down with her limbs spread out, staring up at the ceiling. The only reason she knew that the other girl was even awake was her slurring out song lyrics from “Play Dice.”
Deciding to not even comment on this, the Nephilim went over to Bae and sat her up a bit, firmly pressing the glass to her lips. “Drink up, dear. You’ll thank me in the morning when you are only in massive pain instead of head-splitting.”
To her relief, Chaos’ Embodiment complied and gulped down the water without even a spill. Once done, she flopped right back onto the bed, continuing her drunken concert. IRyS contemplated trying to change her into her pajamas, but decided she did not want to go through that trouble. It would not kill her wife to sleep in her normal pants one night, anyway. (She did grab some towels from their dresser in case there was a “mess,” though.)
Once she was changed into her sleep attire, IRyS crawled into bed with a big blanket to put on top of them. The rat-girl squirmed a bit, mumbling about it being too hot, so she left her only half-covered. She spoke in a soothing voice to calm her down. “There you go. Get some rest, okay? We have painkillers in the drawer. I’ll take good care of you once you wake up.”
With that, she turned off their nightstand light and settled properly into their bed. She whispered a quick “goodnight” and closed her eyes, feeling the exhaustion from everything that night finally catching up to her. She slowly drifted off into dreamland-
Her dissent was interrupted by a hand suddenly grabbing her arm. She heard Bae move closer to her, breath a bit uneven. “I-IRyS?... IRyS? No... please, wake up.”
The Nephilim was a bit confused by the sudden anxiety in her wife’s voice, but thought the behavior was just from drinking too much. She peeked one eye open to look at the other woman’s silhouette. “It’s fine, Bae. Go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” She closed her eyes again-
-and immediately felt a slap to her face! She jolted up, crying out and holding her cheek. “OW! Bae?! What the hell was-?!”
“No! You can’t go to sleep!" the Embodiment nearly shouted, voice the most steady it had been all night. “Why- You never said anything! It can’t be time! N-not yet!”
“What are you talking about?” IRyS demanded, wondering what was going on in her lover’s inebriated mind. “I’m just going to sleep, the same as you should be doing! You can’t just-!”
“Please, stay awake!” The rat-girl leaned forward and gripped her shoulders, and the Nephilim was shocked to see tears running down her face. “I can’t lose you! Not yet! Or ever! I... please, put it off longer! I’ll do anything! I-I don’t want to wait centuries again!”
“Wha-?” the Nephilim began, trying to process those words. Once she registered the “centuries” part, however, she froze. It felt like her blood had turned to ice as she realized what Bae had thought was happening in her intoxicated state.
She had thought that she was entering the “Long Sleep” again.
Her agitation almost completely evaporated in an instant. She slowly put her hands on her wife’s sides, speaking as gently as possible. “Oh, Bae. I wasn’t going into a special sleep, I promise. I was just-”
“You don’t know that,” the Embodiment whispered, eyes cast down and glistening.
Whatever reassurance IRyS had planned to give died on her lips with those words. “I- What?”
“You didn’t tell me last time it was happening. It just... happened. You were gone from me just like that. You... you’re going to disappear from me again. I don’t w-want it to be tonight.” Small sobs began to wrack the rat-girl’s body.
The Nephilim was a bit unnerved by the words, remembering that that was what had indeed happened so long ago when she went into her Long Sleep. If not for the slight slur to the words, she would have questioned if her lover was still drunk. It just seemed so... focused, as if she had felt these things for a long while. It had never come up before, though, even when drinking.
A stray thought crossed her mind that wondered if Bae knew this and kept from drinking so much for this reason. To hide this part of her.
Trying to ignore her growing list of worries, she tried to speak again. “Bae, listen, I’m not going to sleep for years. In the morning, we’ll-”
She was once again, however, cut off by the Embodiment suddenly pulling her into a tight hug. Her wife buried her face in her chest, which was quickly growing damp from her tears. Her entire body also shuddered as loud sobs tore from her throat.
“Why can’t you stay awake?” the rat-girl whimpered. “I... I thought you loved me?”
Taken out of her momentary stupor, IRyS was at a loss on how to respond. “What...? Of course I love you! We’re married!”
“Then why did you leave?!” Bae lifted her head enough to look her in the eye, her face the picture of anger, sorrow, and betrayal. “Why did you leave me alone all those years?! Why did my pleading never wake you up?! Why did you take my happiness away?!”
As was becoming a pattern, the Nephilim was stunned into silence. She knew any words about how her Long Sleep actually worked and how it could not be interrupted would be pointless. It did not change what had happened... something she had never been told about. So much pain she had caused without any mention of it, despite their marriage.
She put aside any anger she might have felt about that for the moment, though, as her wife buried her face again and mumbled more. “Please. No more loneliness. I don’t... want to feel worthless. I’m happy again. I don’t want to feel that cold. Please. One more day at least. At least give me... one more day. Just a bit longer...”
IRyS felt her heart shatter at the implication those words held. She tightened her grip on the smaller woman and began to rock them back and forth. “Oh, Bae. D-don’t worry. I’ll stay awake. Just go to sleep. I won’t go to sleep. I’ll be right here to talk to you in the morning.”
“You promise?” the Embodiment whispered, her voice becoming thicker as she finally seemed to be drifting off.
“Yeah... of course,” the Nephilim whispered, kissing her on the forehead. After another minute, she heard the light snores of the rat-girl and gently laid her down. She grimaced at how messy her lover’s face was from the tears, gently trying to clean it up with one of the towels.
Once she was done, she did not lay on the bed. Instead, she quietly left the room and went to sleep on the couch. She knew that she would not be able to stay awake, and she did not want to be caught by Bae until she was in a better state of mind.
Grimacing, IRyS turned the words from her wife over in her head. There were plenty of conclusions to draw from what was said, with none pointing to a good time while she was in her Long Sleep. She hoped it was not as bad as she thought... but even she was hard-pressed to hold onto that feeling after seeing the pain in the other’s eyes.
This was not helped by the betrayal she herself felt. Why didn’t she tell me about this? I thought she was fine with the rest of the Council during that time. A bit sad, perhaps, but... was she depressed more than I thought? What reason did she have to hide this from me?
There would be no answers to these questions and more until later, though. With a heavy heart torn between guilt and frustration, she got comfortable on their plush couch and tried to sleep. They would have to talk in the morning... if she even felt like talking.
Honestly, she felt like she wanted to be left alone.
-------
As sunlight filtered into the bedroom, Bae groaned as it hit her eyes. She pulled the blanket over her head, trying to lessen her headache that threatened to split her into several pieces. This also meant ignoring her gut, which both told her she needed to throw up and use the bathroom. Why did I think drinking was a good way to get tired? That was the drunkest I have been in years - hell, decades, even!
She did not remember much about last night. Her last clear memory was of her and IRyS sitting down and ordering their drinks. After that, it was a blur of walking home, indistinct words, and unless her body was playing tricks on her, taking off her shirt. She almost smirked despite the pain, wondering if the two of them had gotten busy last night.
It was then that she realized, though, that she did not hear her lover. Eyes still clenched shut, she carefully moved her arm around the bed to try and find her without causing herself to hurl. There was not a hint of the Nephilim, however - not even an impression left on the mattress.
This was not something that should have worried the Embodiment of Chaos. If sunlight was coming through their window, then it meant that it was the afternoon. Her wife, who had likely not drank as much, had probably gotten up ages ago. While last night was more intense than others, it would not be the first time she had slept in so late after getting drunk.
Yet something told her that this was... different. That something had happened last night that she should be worried about.
Trying to dismiss the feeling, the rat-girl tried to focus on her recovery. Bracing herself for the light, she came out from under the blanket and rolled along the bed to her nightstand. Working as fast as her hungover body would let her, she got the Motrin from the drawer and thankfully found a glass of water on the desk. There was a slight pause as she noticed that it was already a bit drunk. Did IRyS not refill it when she got up?
Ignoring this, she quickly gulped down the painkillers and struggled out of bed. Their bedroom had its own bathroom, so she was able to quickly relieve herself. She did not bother with getting ready afterward, and instead plopped back into bed, burying herself in the blanket again. It would be a while before she was feeling functional again, so she decided to rest before trying to make herself seem presentable.
Her plan was interrupted, though, by the sound of the door opening. Peeking her head out, she watched as IRyS walked in, dressed in casual clothing. Smiling, Bae pushed past her remaining headache and sat up. “Hi, Honey! Sorry about sleeping in so late. I should have listened to you about trying to use alcohol to-”
She cut herself off, though, as the Nephilim sat next to her on the bed and she properly looked at her. Her lover had a very neutral expression, rather than the normal grin she usually gave when she woke up. Her eyes were also distant, as if thinking about something else entirely. The entire image spoke of sorrow.
And she did not miss the dried tears on her cheeks, either, as well as the faded imprint of a hand slap.
Panicking now, the Embodiment tried to move closer with an outstretched hand. “Hey, is everything alright? Did I get rough last night? I’m sorry if I-”
She flinched as IRyS moved away from her touch. Her wife looked her in the eye as she spoke with a blank tone. “The hit is not important to me. What has gotten to me was the things you said. Do you remember?”
While the rat-girl could not recall, her brain was telling her that she had messed up somehow. She swallowed thickly, trying to think of what she might have said in that sort of state. “Um... did I insult your horns? Or did I make too many jokes about hope?”
With a heavy sigh, the Nephilim fixed her with a glare. “No. The only thing you were interested in commenting on last night was my sleeping habits.”
Bae instantly froze, eyes widening in fear as she could now guess exactly what she had said. It was something she was told she cried about with a certain Guardian of Civilization when she was at her lowest. It involved pain and loneliness that she had tried to hide away, just wanting to focus on being happy now. Oh, God. Please tell me I didn’t. I just wanted a few decades of peace. I didn’t want her to feel horrible about it. Please, oh please tell me it’s not that!
It was then that she realized she had been backing up on the bed as IRyS slowly moved forward. The glare never left, but she could clearly see the betrayal in her gaze now. “Why didn’t you tell me, Bae? We’re... we’re supposed to tell each other about our problems. Why didn’t you tell me I hurt you that much while I... I was gone?”
Chaos’ Embodiment flicked her eyes around nervously, biting her lip. “I-I don’t... it’s just- that wasn’t-”
“Are you trying to lie about it?!” IRyS exclaimed, her eyes becoming raging infernos.
“Nonononono! I’m not, I swear!” the rat-girl yelped, frantically shaking her head. “I just... it... what am I supposed to say?”
“Anything! Some sort of explanation on why you didn’t tell me all this time - from the moment I woke up! Why you told me that you did just fine while I was asleep! If you were planning to keep it to yourself until I entered my Long Sleep again, and you had to experience it again!”
Silence filled the room, the two simply staring at one another, waiting for the next words to be spoken. Bae tried to choke out some sort of apology, or even some form of an explanation. The words caught in her throat under her lover’s stare, however, which told her nothing she could say at the moment would make this better.
She had messed up, and it was too late to come clean about any of this without issues.
When the Nephilim caught on to this, she huffed and got off the bed. “I’m going out. Don’t try to follow me. I’m going to meet up with some people to... discuss something.”
It was as she was walking away that the Embodiment finally forced her voice. She reached out her hand weakly, tears brimming her eyes. “IRyS, wait! Please! I-I’m sorry! I... I...”
IRyS paused at the doorway, looking back at her. She let out a little sigh as her stare became a bit softer, adding pity to its emotions. “...We’ll talk later, Bae. I promise. I just...” Her voice finally began to crack. “I just need some time to myself, okay?”
With that, she stepped out the door and closed it, footsteps fading toward the entrance to their house. The rat-girl could only stare at the space her wife had stood, shaking slightly. Then, she turned and buried her face in her pillow, screaming into it. Stupid. Stupid! STUPID! Look what you did! You hurt her! You were supposed to make sure you were both happy, and you hurt her! Over something she can’t even control!
After several minutes of this, she managed to pull herself out of bed. She was not nearly as hungover as when she awoke, but she would have preferred it to the hollowness in her heart currently. Still, she decided that she needed to do something with what was left with the day, if only so she could collect her thoughts on this, too.
She thought for a few seconds about if there was anyone she could go to. Calli was currently out of town with Gura to go to a proper ocean, so it would be a few days before she was available. She also dismissed visiting the rest of the Council, since she had a suspicion about who those “people” the Nephilim mentioned were (and they had her sympathy).
Then she remembered something... related to all this. Raising her hand, she quickly made some gestures. This was followed by red, blue, and green sparks in the air before her, until finally a tear formed there, about three feet wide and shaped like a rough circle. It was an extradimensional space where she stored special items. It did not protect them from age, but it stopped things like dust and the environment from damaging them.
And in there, she gently picked up an old item she had had for decades. Something she had hidden from both her lover and everyone else to avoid any questions about its origins. Looking at it now, even with what was going on, managed to make a small smile form on her face.
Guess now is as good a time as any to get this over with, Bae thought. After admiring the object for a moment longer, she gently put it back and with a wave dismissed the rift. She then moved to get ready to head out, so she could buy the items necessary to recreate it.
And in the midst of it, she sent a text to the person she knew would deliver it for her.