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When Katsuki got home from work he could tell his boyfriends were plotting something. Their apartment had that air to it. The type of feeling that made Katsuki huff out an exasperated sigh because Hitoshi and Denki were up to something more often than not.
It was their day off, while Katsuki was still called into work. It was a system they had. Usually, someone was here to watch over the home, clean, and relax. Most of the time only one of them had the day off and they’d have to wait for three pieces to be whole once again. But never has it been Hitoshi and Denki together, alone. Hitoshi and Katsuki, yes. Denki and Katsuki, yes. Most of the time it was just Hitoshi alone since he favored night shifts. But the fact that Katsuki was the only one working today was fate playing pranks on him.
The two greeted him at the door. Denki smiled wide and excited, bouncing on his heels as Hitoshi wore an easier smile, faking a sort of relaxation that made Katsuki squint his eyes at him.
“Hello, lovely boyfriend of ours,” Denki greets, pulling Katsuki’s coat off his shoulders.
“Yes, hello,” Hitoshi adds, now grinning ear to ear. “Remember that we love you? That’s a fact I hope you know. It’s very important.”
The last time these two acted this suspicious Katsuki found 87 copies of Minecraft hiding under the couch because Denki accidentally clicked ‘Add To Cart’ too many times. Denki, of course, suggested they keep them all and Hitoshi was too busy crying of laughter to back him up. Katsuki got rid of all of them.
“What did you two do?” Katsuki asks immediately. He looks back and forth between them. Denki didn’t even bother hanging up his coat, instead, he haphazardly tossed it under the coat rack for someone else to pick up later. “What are you planning?”
“Whaaaat? When have we ever been plotting anything?” Denki asks, voice shrill enough to give himself away. “We’ve never–”
“Can we get a cat?” Hitoshi asks.
“Wha– Toshi, you were supposed to ease into it! Y’know, butter him up, hang up his coat, make him dinner. That sort of thing.” He slips behind Katsuki and attempts to massage his shoulders but it was obvious he didn’t know what he was doing.
“You didn’t even hang up the coat,” Hitoshi snorts.
“We aren’t getting a cat,” Katsuki says, leaving no room for discussion. Of course, Hitoshi and Denki always find a way. They’ve weaseled their way into his heart with their schemes, this is no different.
“That’s unfortunate,” Hitoshi says. “Because we already have one.” As if on cue, Hitoshi’s hoodie meows, and that easy smile of his grows nervous.
“Hitoshi,” Katsuki sighs disapprovingly, and he can almost hear Denki–who now has his arms wrapped around his waist–muffle a laugh into his shoulder.
“Yes, Katsuki, my love? My light, my stars, my sun, my moon?”
“Do you have a cat in your hoodie? Is there a damn cat in your hoodie, Hitoshi?”
“No,” Hitoshi almost sings. “No, I don’t know why you’d ever think that. I’m just–I’m practicing my…” he looks to Denki who is trying his best not to burst into laughter. This causes Hitoshi to snort as well before regaining his composure. “I was practicing my meowing. You know, just in case I meet a villain who only speaks…cat.”
“A villain who only speaks cat?” Katsuki asks, one eyebrow raised. “That’s your story?”
“Yes,” Hitoshi confirms, and Denki does laugh out loud this time.
“Hitoshi.”
“Yes, Katsuki? The future number one hero, who is, unfortunately, number two as of right now. Don’t worry, you’ll always be number one in our hearts. Right, Denki–”
“Show me the cat,” Katsuki interrupts.
“Gladly.”
Hitoshi reaches his hand into the pocket of his oversized hoodie. It’s Chargebolt merch, of course. The pockets are evidently perfect for inconspicuously carrying baby kittens. Nobody would be surprised if Denki designed it like that on purpose. It’s a black tuxedo cat. The white pattern on its chest resembles a skull–almost like the one on all Katsuki’s T-shirts. Upon being taken out of hiding, the cat meows once again.
“He reminds me of you,” Hitoshi says.
“We’ll name him after you too if you let us keep him!” Denki adds. He detaches himself from Katsuki’s waist to bounce over to their new cat. As Denki leans down to kiss the kitten on the top of the head, it swats at him. To this, Denki simply laughs and turns to Katsuki. “It’s literally you as a cat!”
Katsuki can do nothing but stand dumbfounded. “Where the hell did you get a cat?”
Denki plucks the kitten from Hitoshi’s arms. “Catsuki, our distinguished gentleman of a son–”
“Son?!”
“Son,” Hitoshi confirms.
“He was outside in the cold,” Denki finishes. “We couldn’t just leave him there! Are you really that heartless as to leave a stray kitten outside in the cold, Katsuki? The harsh winters would only beat him down and wait for him to stand, only to kick him once again.” Denki dramatically wipes his fake tears with the kitten in his arms. “We’re Catsuki’s heroes.”
“It’s summer,” Katsuki corrects. “There is no winter to beat him down. And you’re not manipulating me into keeping this thing.”
“Manipulate you?! We’d never! We’re just giving you an incentive! Look at his cute face,” Denki holds up Catsuki for Katsuki to see. Catsuki meows.
“I’ll make him into a coat.”
“Katsuki!” Both Hitoshi and Denki shout in disbelief. Denki protectively pulls Catsuki into his chest.
“I’m kidding,” Katsuki rolls his eyes. “He’s too small to be a coat.”
Katsuki finally kicks off his boots and Hitoshi lines them up for him in a great gesture to butter him up once again. Katsuki rolls his eyes and finally steps away from the doorway. “Give it here,” he says once he’s settled himself onto their couch.
Denki hands their son to Katsuki, having already gotten over his terrible joke.
Katsuki brings Catsuki up to his face, so close they touch noses. Catsuki meows and Oh, well I guess he is kinda cute. Katsuki scrunches his nose and Catsuki places a soft paw on his forehead.
“Look, he’s being hypnotized by Catsuki’s charm,” Denki whispers in a shout.
Hitoshi nods proudly. “That’s my boy.”
“You guys really wanna keep this thing?”
“That thing is our son! And yes,” Denki says. “We are keeping him.”
Katsuki leans back and Catsuki finds home on his chest. “You guys can’t even feed yourselves. You wanna take care of a kitten? You know how often they have to eat?!”
“You seem to feed us very well,” Hitoshi smiles. “And Denki eats a lot too.”
Once again, Katsuki is dumbfounded. “You want me to feed it?! Is that what this is? I’ll be the responsible one and you guys just play around with him?”
“Yes!” Denki shouts, pointing at Katsuki as if he cracked a code.
Katsuki raises a brow.
“I mean, no!” Denki corrects with the same amount of enthusiasm. “We’ll all carry the responsibility. It’s what good parents do.”
Katsuki sighs knowing they’re both full of shit. But Catsuki is comfortable on his chest, seemingly lulled to sleep by the rumble of his words. He sighs once again because Catsuki looks so peaceful sleeping on me and, oh no. I want this cat.
“He needs a collar,” Katsuki says. “We’re not prepared for a damn cat. We need to buy a bunch of shit now.”
Denki bounces on his heels once again and Hitoshi smiles as if he knew Katsuki was going to cave as soon as he walked through the door. Maybe he was right, Katsuki thought. For all he tries to hide it, Katsuki would give his boyfriends the world. If their world is a stray cat found outside their apartment building, then who was Katsuki to say no?
“I’ll drive!” Denki sings. He fishes their car keys out of Katsuki’s coat pocket and throws it back on the floor. Katsuki rolls his eyes.
“Orange collar or black collar,” Hitoshi asks, because apparently he’s a mind reader too and could tell Katsuki was already thinking colors.
“Orange, obviously,” Katsuki says, pealing himself from the couch. “All his shit is going to be Dynamight merch. The shit we're getting is just temporary. I’ll call my manager on the car ride to the store.”
In a flash, Katsuki has his boots back on and they all bounce their way out the door, following Denki who was already starting the car.
“Wow, you came around fast,” Hitoshi teases. “We’re getting a Dynamight cat merch line?”
“It’s either that or no cat.”
“Got it.”
ᓚᘏᗢ
The pet store was mostly empty. Katsuki was grateful for this because he was still wearing his hero costume. Three pro heroes in civilian clothes already grab enough attention. But three pros, one in their suit and the other two wearing each other's merch? Katsuki can already see the news articles.
He didn’t mind it much. Their relationship was public because Katsuki didn’t like hiding. But a public relationship didn’t mean he always wanted these people in their business.
He’d like to shop for their son–ahem, their new kitten–in peace.
Just last week Denki went out alone wearing Dynamight merch and the media took that and tried to twist a story. The most ridiculous one Katsuki had seen was Pro Hero Chargebolt Plays Favorites? Does He Love Hero Dynamight More Than Hero MindJack? Hitoshi found that one hilarious. Katsuki and Denki did not.
Hitoshi holds Catsuki in his arms as Denki sits inside the shopping cart. Katsuki pushes him around as he grabs things off the shelf. Evidently, Denki has no idea what they need so Katsuki is left shaking his head yes or no to the hideous things he keeps suggesting.
“You said you were going to replace it anyway! Why don't we just get whatever?” Denki whined.
“Look at that thing! He’s not sleeping in a burger-shaped bed!”
“Why not?! It’s cool!”
“Only you would think that,” Hitoshi smiles. “How about this one?” he asks, holding up another that reads Princess in a cursive pink font.
Katsuki shakes his head. “I’d rather get the burger.”
“Aha!” Denki shouts, putting the burger-shaped bed into his basket.
Getting cat food and cat milk took even longer than picking a bed. Katsuki insisted on reading every single ingredient on all the cans. He wouldn’t feed their cat junk like the other cat owners! Catsuki was going to be eating like a king. If it were up to him, he’d make Catsuki’s food on his own, but he was a baby and he needed milk.
Finally, when he was done with picking out the best product on the shelves, they went to make his name tag.
“Let's give him something flashy,” Denki suggests. “Bold yellow letters! And a lightning bolt on the back! Oh, actually the tag should be bolt-shaped!”
“No,” Hitoshi says. “Cat-shaped tag with normal letters. Simple is better, and the cat shape is cute.”
“We’re not doing any of that,” Katsuki interrupts. “Look, this one is a simple circle with a skull on the back. And here, a matching orange collar. It’s perfect.”
Denki huffs. “Can we still do yellow letters?”
“Fine, whatever.”
Hitoshi hands Catsuki off to Denki to go get the name and contact info engraved into the tag. Since Hitoshi was the one that stayed home most often during the day, he put his number on it.
“Excuse me? Are you hero MindJack?”
“Um,” Hitoshi turns around to see a kind-looking woman with horizontal pupils like a goat. Her horns curl down her face, almost like hair. She beams up at him, practically vibrating.
Hitoshi smiles, “No. It’s not me, you’re mistaken, Miss. And those aren’t my boyfriends Chargebolt and Dynamight over there. We are just… cosplayers.”
Hitoshi points to Katsuki and Denki who are talking amongst themselves. Denki is still sitting in the cart with the biggest smile on his face with Catsuki in his lap. Katsuki wears a small smile, watching as Denki talks to Catsuki as if he could actually respond.
The woman laughs, because of course she does. Hitoshi was known for this sort of thing. Messing with fans and teasing them. It was all in good fun.
He was also known for pointing out other pros to get the attention off of him. Denki doesn’t mind, he loves paparazzi and interacting with fans. Katsuki… can deal with it in moderation. Of course, Hitoshi would never point them out if he knew they didn’t want to be seen.
Hitoshi snickers as the woman’s smile grows even larger upon seeing the others.
“I just wanted to thank you personally. You all gave me and my girlfriends the courage to come out.”
“Oh, wow.” Hitoshi’s heart squeezes. “That means so much to us.”
“You guys inspired a lot of people to become more comfortable with themselves! It means more than you know.”
Before Hitoshi could answer, Denki’s voice calls for him. “Toshi! Catsuki misses you!”
Hitoshi laughs. “Ah, sorry, looks like I have to go.”
The woman nods in understanding.
“Thanks for coming to talk to me.”
“No, thank you!” The woman says.
Hitoshi takes the newly engraved tag and finds his way back to Katsuki and Denki. The tag is clipped to the collar immediately and Katsuki fastens it to Catsuki.
“What was that,” Katsuki asks, nodding back to the woman.
“A fan wanted to say thank you. She said we gave her and her girlfriends the courage to come out,” Hitoshi explains.
Denki coos. “Aw! That’s so nice! Tell her I want to go to their future wedding.”
“She’s already gone, Denki,” Katsuki says.
“Right,” he laughs. “Yeah, I’m sure we’ll get an invite to our P.O. box anyway.”
“Surely,” Hitoshi agrees. “Isn’t that right, Catsuki? You think fans will send you gifts too?”
“You both are ridiculous,” Katsuki says. “He can’t answer back. Why are you talking to him?”
Denki clicks his tongue. “Not unless we go to Koda, he can’t.”
“Oh my god, you’re a genius,” Hitoshi praises. “We should take him to Koda. Think he knows him already?”
“Maybe.”
“Let’s pay for our shit first,” Katsuki reminds. “We’ve been standing here for too long, people are staring.”
By the time they all settled back into the car, Katsuki got a call back from his manager. Arrangements were made and Katsuki successfully convinced her to allow him to make a cat merch line. Denki loved the idea so much, that he too wanted to make one. Since Denki decided he wanted to make a cat line, Hitoshi had to join in as well.
Soon, the internet was blowing up with reposted pictures of their new cat, which Hitoshi so kindly provided for their fans.
Back at the apartment, Katsuki was ready to finally shower, change out of his hero suit, and relax. But Denki wouldn’t unlock the door.
“Baby, the door.” Nothing. “Denki, unlock the door.”
“Katsuki,” Denki whispered. He had yet to turn off the engine. “Hitoshi. Don’t move but look.” He nodded to their front door.
“What?”
Much to Katsuki’s surprise and Hitoshi’s delight, a family of cats sat on their doorstep. It was almost as if they were waiting for the heroes to come home.
Denki grins at Katsuki. “Katsuki, my love. My light, my stars. my sun, my moon.”
“Our number two hero,” Hitoshi adds. “Number one in our hearts, of course. The man who bested pro hero Deku in beer pong last year. Our loving—“
“No,” Katsuki said. “No, one cat is enough. How many is that,” he squinted at the door. “Four?! You guys have enough time to take care of five cats?!”
“Please!” Hitoshi and Denki sing in tandem.
“Please, please, please!”
“We can’t separate the baby and his mama! That’s just cruel!” Denki whines.
“Are you that cruel, Katsuki?” Hitoshi shakes his head. “You’re going to leave that mother to wonder where her son is? Leave his brothers and sisters to cry over their lost sibling. Never knowing if he’s alive and well—“
“You guys are unbelievable.” Katsuki shakes his head. “What the hell are you going to name them all?”
“Catoshi!”
“Catimari!”
“Ridiculous. You’re both ridiculous.”