Chapter Text
Jane watches the whole thing from the breakroom. The irony isn’t lost on her when she said to Lucy that she was getting tea. At first it seemed fine, like they were actually enjoying each other’s company again. Then like a switch it became too sad to watch. Even though Jane can tell this was going too far. Watching Lucy leave in tears and leaving Whistler alone in the bullpen pulls on Jane’s heart. Jane watches to see what Whistler was going to do, but Whistler just seems to crumple into herself. Everyone kind of knew that Whistler didn’t have anyone, Tennant knows she has to help her.
Slowly she makes another cup of tea for the broken woman. Whistler doesn’t seem to notice her presence as she shakes with sobs.
Kate continues to sob, and Jane notices her breathing is becoming irregular. Whatever was said between the women must have been really difficult for Kate to be this inconsolable. Jane, who was originally leaning on the bar in the breakroom, moves to comfort Kate before her breathing gets more out of control. By the time she reaches Kate, Kate’s eyes look gazed over. Kate doesn’t acknowledge the movement or Jane being there at all.
Kate’s mind is racing with all the things Lucy has said to her over the past few conversations.
“There are a lot of chances… bets… really, that I am willing to take. You are no longer one of them.”
“You threw us away.”
“Don’t say anything else, please.”
“Because you ruined everything.”
“You broke my heart into a million pieces.”
“Because I loved you, Kate”
She knows she is looking at Jane, but everything is just crashing around her. She wants to just hide in the dark hole in her mind, that reminds her that she caused all of this to happen. It was her omitting, it was her mistakes, it was her choices that caused all of this. Kate can feel the pain radiating from her ribs from breathing so hard, but she doesn’t care. The physical pain felt good, like her outside appearance finally matches how she has been feeling this whole time.
Jane starts to get worried when Kate is staring at her, but not really seeing her. Kate’s breathing continues to get heavier and more irregular. Jane knows if she can’t stop her from continuing to hyperventilate then Kate will pass out. As if thinking it into existence, Kate’s eyes slowly shut, and Jane catches her before she can hit the floor.
Immediately, Jane reaches for her phone and calls an ambulance. “I need an ambulance to the naval base, the NCIS offices now. I have an agent unconscious, who was injured earlier today.” She cradles Kate’s head and tries to wake her up. “Kate, come on, wake up. I know it’s been a long day, but please wake up.” Jane checks her pulse and is relieved to feel a strong beat, but it feels faster than what is normal.
The EMTs get there ten minutes later as Jane continues to hold on to Kate. One of the EMTs starts putting leads on Kate and move her into a more comfortable position, while his partner asks Jane “What happened? She was injured earlier today?”
“Yes, she was hurt on the job earlier today. She has minor head trauma, dislocated shoulder, and a cracked rib. I think she was having a panic attack and I wasn’t able to get her out it before she passed out.” Jane listed the injuries calmly knowing they needed as much information to help Kate.
“Okay, between those injuries and the hyperventilating that is probably what caused her to lose consciousness.” He turns his head to the monitor and notices an elevated heart rate. “Because of her heart rate and her other injuries I think its best we take her to the hospital.”
“Yes, of course. I am going with you.” Jane says immediately goes in action. The EMTs load Kate onto a gurney and they move quickly through the bullpen and get to the ambulance.
Jane grabs Kate’s hand in the ambulance but stays silent just praying to whoever is listening for Kate to be okay. Jane has seen how hard everything has been on her, but never thought this would be the result. Getting to hospital didn’t take very long, but to Jane it felt like hours especially because the EMTs didn’t say anything about Kate’s condition the whole time.
The EMTs unload Kate carefully from the ambulance, but suddenly are moving very quickly before Jane can catch up. Doctors and other medical professionals surround Kate by the time Jane catches up inside the ER.
“What’s going on?” Jane says losing her calm voice very quickly.
“Are you family to Kate Whistler?” the nurse says pulling up Kate’s chart on a tablet.
“Basically, we work together. I am her friend. Please can you tell what is happening. The EMTs haven’t told me anything.” Jane feels frantic as she guided outside of the room by the nurse.
“We think the hyperventilating may have caused Agent Whistler’s rib to continue to fracture and that can be very dangerous. That is why we are responding so quickly. The team will complete an x-ray and do an ultrasound on her heart to make sure she is in the clear. Do you know who Agent Whistler listed as an emergency contact? There isn’t anyone listed in her file.” The nurse says calming knowing that Jane is scared.
“I will call her boss and ask. Please keep me updated on what is going on. I really appreciate it.” Jane says before turning to make some calls.
Jane takes a deep breath before calling Whistler’s boss. “Hello, Agent Curtis its Jane Tennant. I am calling because Whistler was just brought back into the ER. The nurse asked me if she has anyone listed as an emergency contact at work.”
“Is she okay? I will check, one second.” Agent Curtis says as he reaches for his computer to pull up Whistler’s file.
“She is unconscious. They think that her rib was cracked further, and it can be dangerous, they are running tests now.” Jane says with an even voice so not to show how concern she really is.
“Okay, I will try to be at the hospital in the morning. She doesn’t have any listed. I can do some digging because it appears that someone’s name was there, but Whistler had it removed a few weeks ago.” Agent Curtis says with worry in his voice.
Jane thinks back to a few weeks ago and if anything had happened with Kate that would cause her to remove the name. She remembers overhearing Lucy tell Ernie that she can finally see the healer now that she has some closure. “I will keep you posted. Goodnight, Curtis.” Jane hangs up the phone and immediately texts Kai. “Whistler is back in the hospital. I will be here until further notice. If there is a case Jesse will run lead.”
After that she calls Jesse to explain the situation. Jesse answers after the third ring. “Hey boss, I am teaching Gracie how to drive, please don’t tell me we have another case.”
“No, I am calling because Whistler is back in the hospital. I will be staying here until I am sure she is going to be okay. You are in charge until I get back.” Just as Jane finishes talking the nurse comes out to find Jane. “I have to go; I will keep you posted.” And hangs up quickly.
“Is she okay?” Jane rushes up to the nurse to ask.
“Yes, luckily the rib fracturing more didn’t cause more damage. We wrapped her ribs so there can’t be further damage. It will make it hard to breathe for her, but it will only be for a few days. Her heart rate was elevated though. The doctor thinks it was because of the pain and whatever triggered her panic attack. She woke up during the examination, but we did sedate her to keep her breathing even. It should wear off in a few hours. We want to keep her here overnight and release her tomorrow, but we would prefer she goes home with someone. Were you able to find out who her emergency contact is?” the nurse says with a slight smile to give some good news.
“Her boss said no one was listed, but I have an idea who it can be. I will take her home tomorrow and make sure someone is with her. Can I see her?” Jane says relieved that Kate is okay.
“Yes, of course. We have moved her to a room for the night. I will take you there now.” The nurse says with a tilt with her head towards the hallway. They walk in silence until the reach Kate’s room. “I will come by to check on her in a few hours. Have a good night.” Then the nurse leaves with a soft touch to Jane’s shoulder.
Jane enters the room slowly and takes a seat next to Kate’s bed. Kate looks so small and fragile in the bed. Kate has looked so strong and determined throughout everything over the year and half she has known her, but right now she looks so small. Jane reaches for her phone to text Curtis and Jesse an update on Kate.
Jane makes herself comfortable as she watches Kate wondering if she should call Lucy. Jane suspects the panic attack probably was triggered by whatever happened between them and didn’t want to make things worse for Kate.
A few hours pass before Kate slowly wakes up. Her eyes start to flutter, and she release a hard breath. That is what catches Jane’s attention. Immediately, Jane is in Kate’s line of sight smiling.
“Hey, you’re okay. You passed out at the bullpen, and I called an ambulance. You cracked your rib further and they were concerned about more damage happening. You are okay.” Jane says in a calming voice that Kate is still not use to.
When Kate tries to respond, but her mouth and throat are too dry. She points to the water that is in front of her bed. Jane immediately jumps into action. Using the remote on the bed to put Whistler into a more sitting position and pouring some water into a cup with a straw. Jane holds the cup for Kate to take a few sips.
The cold water immediately helps Kate’s throat enough to talk. “Why are you here? You should be resting in bed. I am fine, I am sorry for worrying you.”
Out of all the things Kate to say that was not what Jane was expecting. “I am here because I was worried about you, and I am your friend. And before you say anything else in this realm, you should know I am taking you home with me until your rib is in better condition. That is not a conversation either.” Jane settles in her seat looking a Kate with a look that Kate can only explain as a mom look.
“Fine, we will come back to that. Thank you for being here.” Kate says knowing she lost all arguments for Jane to leave.
“So, you want to tell me what caused the panic attack that brought us here?” Jane says to acknowledge the elephant in the room.
Kate just stares at her hand not knowing what to say. All the things Lucy has said come back to her mind immediately.
Jane watches Kate slowly curl in on herself the best she can with her arm in a sling. Immediately, Jane sits up to grab Whistler’s hand to provide some comfort. Eventually, Kate says “I don’t really want to talk about it. I deserved it anyway. Jane, I really think you should just go home. I will be fine.”
“I am not going anywhere. I have a feeling this connects back to Lucy, and I have tried to respect the fact you both don’t want to talk about it, but Kate you are in the hospital because of it. I didn’t tell her we are here by the way. The only people that know are Jesse, Kai, and your boss. Do you want to tell me why you don’t have anyone listed as an emergency contact anywhere?” Jane says squeezing Kate’s hand before changing tactics.
“Thank you for keeping this between only the people that need to know. Um, I changed it after I realized there was no fixing me and Lucy’s relationship. I don’t really have any friends here and my parents don’t need another call saying that their kid might not ever come home again. I am glad I changed it though because the last thing Lucy needs a call right now telling her I am back in the hospital.” Kate says still staring at her hand that was now being held by Jane.
“Have you had a panic attack before?” Jane says changing tactics again, knowing Whistler won’t talk about Lucy directly.
“Yeah, I use to have them a lot growing up. There was a lot of pressure in my family to do everything the right way so when I took a more unconventional path it didn’t really go well. Then after Noah died it all just got a lot worse. In college I was having them once a day until I learned to control it. They only really happen now when I really stressed or overwhelmed. I guess that is what happened today.” Kate says with some sort of strength that reminds Jane that Kate isn’t fragile in anyway.
“What triggered this panic attack?” Jane asks carefully.
“Um, Lucy and I had I guess an argument of sorts. She found out about the promotion in DC I turned down, before transferring to the FBI. She was hurt by me again and just reminded me that this all my fault. I guess between that and everything else that happened I just snapped. I am sorry, you have to deal with this.” The pain and guilt are radiating off of Kate as she says this.
“Don’t apologize, I am happy to be here for you. I am just glad I didn’t go home, and you didn’t pass out alone. Kai probably wouldn’t have found you for a few hours and you could have made your head trauma worse. Kate, can you please tell me what is going on so I can help you?” Jane says in almost a pleading voice.
“Okay, but this has to stay between us, and Lucy can’t know I told you.”
Jane nods before Kate continues.
“Lucy and I had a relationship. I wasn’t completely honest, and an ex showed up to try to convince me to take the job in DC, but before I could explain everything Lucy broke up with me. We haven’t really talked about everything, and she continues to lash out because I hurt her and ruined us. I deserve it, but it’s just been a lot. I have been trying to respect her boundaries, but I can never get a word in.” Kate says leaving out a lot of details so Jane can just drop it.
“What were you thinking about before your panic attack?”
“Um, just somethings Lucy has said to me over the past few weeks.”
“What has she said?”
Knowing Jane won’t drop it until there was something Kate just feels too exhausted to even try to lie at this point. “There are a lot of chances… bets… really, that I am willing to take. You are no longer one of them. You threw us away. Don’t say anything else, please. Because you ruined everything. You broke my heart into a million pieces.” Kate almost feels relieved saying the things that have been floating her head constantly since she has heard them out loud.
Jane is speechless. Jane knows Lucy is short tempered and can cut with her words, but that is a lot anyone to handle. She knows Kate doesn’t need her reaction to affect how she treats Lucy, but she will be having a strong talk with her once Kate is healthy. “Okay, that is a lot. I am sorry you have been dealing with alone. I hope you know that I am always here for you no matter what. Please know that I don’t think she means these things. It doesn’t excuse them, because they are unbelievably cruel. Hopefully you guys will be able to talk properly soon, but until then I think you need to focus on you.” As Jane talks, she notices Kate’s eyes start shut. Knowing she is probably exhausted she continues. “Why don’t you try to sleep? I will be here until you fall asleep, and I will come back in the morning to take you home.”
Kate just nods slowly before shutting her eyes and falls asleep. Jane stays for another 30 minutes before heading home to get some sleep herself. The whole time though Jane is thinking about how much Kate has been suffering. No wonder she had a panic attack tonight. The trauma of the day plus all of that would break even the strongest people.