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There was a new tiktok trend: People had started to record themselves when they’re with their friends and stopped walking with them until their friends noticed. Kaminari saw some videos where people’s friends never even noticed once, but end figured that some would be staged for shock value and views. After all, some creators had said that they were just joking, so end decided to do the trend enderself without telling enders friends as a joke. End thought they would’ve stopped a couple steps later and wondered what the hell they were doing. Then end would just laugh it off and post it.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t what happened. Kaminari had just been done with school and was walking back to enders dorms with the Baku Squad when end decided to do the trend. End started recording enderself and stopped walking, enders friend group walking away from end in the corner of ender screen. But enders friend group didn’t stop there. Instead, they kept going and going. It got to a point where Kaminari had to flip end camera just to follow the group in the distance, but to also hide end fading smile.
It was supposed to be a joke. That was all it was. They were going to notice, right? They wouldn’t just forget about Kaminari, right? Their friend who had been there since the beginning? Who had tried enders best to be there for them in their toughest time? Who had asked what they were planning over the week so they wouldn’t “forget” to invite ender? Who did enders best to insert enderself into their conversations and inside jokes?
No, there was no way. They were probably just messing with end. They’d come back for end. There was no doubt. In the meantime, though, Kaminari decided to escape the confines of ender dorms and talk enders phone with ender. For the views, right? End went off campus and walked around for a while, stopping and starting the recording at various times. Eventually, end ended up in a ramen shop. End checked enders phone for any messages. Nothing. It had officially been 20 minutes since Kaminari had left campus.
End probably should’ve stopped it there and went back. But end wanted to know. How far could end push this? How long had enders friend been a joke? Were they laughing behind enders back, calling ender names behind enders back? End decided to give it another hour. Otherwise…end wouldn’t know what to do. End wasn’t strong enough to cut off enders only friends, so what then?
“Hey guys, what are you talking about?”
“Oh, it’s nothing Kami, just an inside joke.”
“Because it was my fucking friend’s fish! If you were my friend, you wouldn’t be laughing.”
“Hey, dude, it’s not that deep.”
“Wait, Bakugo, you’re all going to the arcade?”
“Yeah, we didn’t think a loser like you would wanna go anyway.”
“Wait…why does their snapmap say they’re in Asakai Park?”
“Hey, kid, did the bowl call you an idiot?”
Kaminari didn’t realize enders order came until a waiter caught enders attention. Exhausted, end muttered, “No, sorry.”
The waiter sighed before leaving ender to do enders thing, “Kids these days.”
Enders eyes started to water. Damn, end really was fucking stupid. How could end not see? End was just a tagalong, a side piece, an extra. Listlessly, end posted the video on tiktok. Well, end got what end wanted. End may as well make this shitty situation worthwhile. Kaminari slurped up ender soup. It was cold and tasteless, a contrast to what end was normally used to. End heard ender phone buzz a couple times, but end knew it wasn’t about ender.
End sat there wondering, just wondering, how fucking long had they been lying to ender? End would prefer if they had just straight up told ender that they didn’t want to be friends with ender, instead they decided to gaslight and torment ender, making ender wonder what end did wrong and how end could fix enderself. Night after night, anxiety ate at enders brain: Maybe end talked too much for just a few seconds, maybe they cut someone off, or maybe it was just Kaminari enderself.
Was Kaminari meant to have friends? Or was end just too fucked up to have any?
“Kami? Is that you?” A familiar voice rang through enders brain. It was the Deku squad. Apparently they got permission to leave the campus, unlike enderself. Uraraka couldn’t help her energetic personality as she grabbed a hold of ender and started shaking ender, “Kami! You’re totally gonna be in trouble when you get back to UA. Mr. Aizawa is totally freaking out over you leaving!”
“You’re lucky we found you before our teacher did.” Iida said with his usual hand gestures, “We must be returning back to campus pronto!”
“Yeah…sorry to make you all worry. I’m fine, though.” Kaminari sacrificed the little strength in enderself to muster up a watery smile, although end knew it didn’t quite reach enders eyes. Midoriya was the first to point it out, “Is…everything okay?”
“Yeah…yeah, I’m fine. I…I didn’t get attacked. I’m fine.”
“...Kaminari.” Todoroki placed a hand on enders shoulder, “I think he meant mentally. You don’t look so good.”
“What do you mean? I’ve always looked good.”
“Kami…you’ve been crying.” Tsuyu croaked in sadly. Kaminari paused a moment before bringing a hand up to enders face and feeling a wetness falling down enders cheeks. Oh…so end had been crying. End quickly started rubbing at enders tears, “I-I’m fine, really. It’s not a big deal. Let’s just…go back. Wouldn’t want you guys getting in more trouble.”
There was another pause. There was only the sounds of the people around them. Normal people who weren’t heroes, who went on with their everyday lives, who watched the sun rise and fall each day and go on like everything was okay with their own friends and families. It made Kaminari envious of them. How could they just walk away with their friends like they could rely on them? Where were enders friends, huh? Where were they?
Iida finally cleared his throat and pushed up his glasses, “How about we eat dinner here? My treat, of course.”
Kaminari looked at him, shocked enders class president would suggest such a thing while their teacher was out there probably going to tear them a new one once they got back. The gravity user pumped her fist before hopping onto the seat next to Kaminari, “Oh hell yeah! Fill me up, scottie!”
“Uraraka, that doesn’t sound right.” Midoriya chukled nervous as he sat onto the other chair next to Kaminari, sandwiching ender. End complained, “What y’all doing?! We’re gonna get in trouble.”
“Well, since we’re already in trouble, we may as well get something out of it.” Tsuyu said after she gave her order. Uraraka nodded vigorously. Kaminari stopped protesting after that. It was a trap, a prank. A cruel prank. The rest of enders classmates were probably hiding somewhere in the shop waiting for Kaminari to feel comfortable, waiting for ender to trust them and then they’ll laugh at ender, just like enders now ex-friends did. Well, that was fine. Kaminari wasn’t going to say anything anyway.
The rest of the group ate in silence. Yet it was an odd silence, a silence that end never felt before.
After a long day of classes, Kaminari was looking forward to hanging out with enders friends. Pop quizzes were stressful, not to mention that Aizawa seemed harsher than normal, almost as if he were taking his anger out on his students. Whatever the case was, Kaminari was glad it was over, not to mention it was the weekend. Once end changed into more comfortable clothes, end quickly ran back down the stair to the commons where enders friends were loudly chatting in the kitchen. Excited, end hopped onto the counter next to Mina, ready to put in enders two cents on the newest argument, “Hey guys, what are you talking about?”
“Oh, it’s nothing Kami, just an inside joke.” That was all Sero said before the conversation just died there. There were no more of Mina’s energetic comments, no more of Bakugo’s angry rebuttals nor were there any of Kirishima’s attempts to calm the situation. There was nothing but silence. There was a tension in the air that was quickly rising. It made Kaminari start to sweat something fierce. End didn’t know what to do. Was end supposed to say something? Did they want end to leave? Did they want end to be quiet? Why wasn’t anyone saying anything? Kaminari quickly tried to crack a joke, trying to save the situation, “So, uh, Aizawa was pretty harsh today, wasn’t he?”
“Oh, yeah! What was up with that?!” End let out a sigh of relief when Mina continued on. As the group continued to chat and argue, Kaminari completely forgot about that awkward, tear watering silence. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last time it would happen.
It wasn’t that silence. End could still feel how hot the room was, how heavy enders tongue felt in enders mouth. End wanted to cry when it first happened, but end eventually got used to it, thinking it was normal for some friends to have an inside joke. But it wasn’t just Bakugo and Kirishima sharing a joke. It was everyone, everyone in that group except Kaminari. End wondered how end never noticed.
“…do you wanna tell us what happened?” Ochaco asked once she was done with her ramen. Kaminari accidentally let enders breath hitch, enders muscles tensed to the point where it hurt. No, end couldn’t tell them. End couldn’t. End just couldn’t. Tsuyu spoke up, “You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.”
“Oh come on, just tell us what’s going on!” Sero complained. Kaminari thought it was stupid, but enders goldfish had just died. The goldfish that been alive since end was 6, the 20 year old goldfish that was given to ender by a childhood friend that still sent letters from time to time. Enders friend was equally as crushed. Kaminari could feel it in the letters as they said that their biggest regret was not fighting back harder when they said they couldn’t take the goldfish to America.
Kaminari had essentially crashed. None of enders classmates knew what was going on, but the Deku squad did their best and made ender some cookies. Momo gave ender a bouquet, which was a little much, but with a rich girl like her, end thought end shouldn’t have been surprised. Jirou let end listen to her music during recess, not forcing end to be social at all. But the Baku squad, for some reason, was a little different.
They tried pushing enders buttons to get a rise out of end: “Of course the idiot gets a C on the easiest test.”
For once, they started invited ender to things. At the last moment, of course: “Hey, we’re at the sushi restaurant downtown, do you wanna come?”
They eventually got tired of ender sulking, though, and decided to push ender, which lead to the group essentially corning Kaminari after classes were done that day. End looked away, “I-I don’t wanna talk about it.”
Mina whined, “Why nooooooot?”
“It’s…it’s stupid.”
Kirishima huffed, “We’re your friends. Whatever it is must’ve gotten you pretty badly.”
“I…I just don’t want you to laugh at me…”
“We’re not gonna laugh at you, just spit it out already.” Bakugo said, “You being depressed is making all of us depressed.”
Kaminari took a deep breath. They were enders friends. End could trust them. End wouldn’t have to shoulder this alone anymore. So, end sighed, “My…my goldfish died. I had him since I was six and he was given to me by a friend.” End eventually started to blubber, enders heart feeling heavy with emotion once more as tears fell down enders face, “I wasn’t there for him when he died, I was in class and I can’t imagine how my friend is feeling so-“
There was a snort. Kaminari froze. To enders shock, everyone started laughing. Like end just told a joke. Sero and Kirishima’s eyes watered, Mina was choking and even Bakugo’s looked red as he held his breath. The yellowed haired student didn’t know how react once again, so end opted to just stay quiet. Maybe there was a good reason. Maybe they just thought of their inside joke at the wrong time. They weren’t laughing at Kaminari’s pain, weren’t they?
“I’m sorry but-“
“YOUR GOLDFISH?!”
Kaminari swore end could feel enders heart crack at that. End stood there gaping in horror. Mina snorted again, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but a goldfish? I couldn’t even take care of mine for a week!”
“I’m sorry but I’m just imagining an idiot like you taking care of a goldfish.” Bakugo bursted out laughing, “It’d die within a day!”
Kaminari stared down at the ground, clenching enders fist. End wasn’t an angry person, but right now, all end wanted to do was punch one of them in the face. Whether it was a joke or not. Sero wiped a tear away, “Why were you attached to that tiny thing anyway? A dog I’d understand since mine died a couple years back but a fish?”
Kaminari’s face flushed, “Because it was my fucking friend’s fish! If you were my friend, you wouldn’t be laughing.”
The laughter died down after enders outburst. They all stared at enders with various confused expressions. Mina shrugged, “Hey, dude, it’s not that deep.”
“What?”
“Yeah, man, we’re just messing around, making you feel better.” Kirishima said. Sero chuckled, “Yeah, we’re just joking. No need to be dramatic.”
That was Kaminari’s last straw. End pushed past all of them and stormed off. End ignored the calls for enders name. End trusted them. End really did trust them. But apparently that was wrong to do. Was that all they cared about? Ender being the laughing stock. Just joking? Being dramatic?
End would apologize to them later, but right now, if end saw any one of them right now, end would actually beat them.
A hand placed on Kaminari’s shoulder broke ender out of enders flashback. Midoriya’s green eyes stared back into yellow ones, “…is it because of your friends!”
“Don’t call them that!” Kaminari snarled. It caught everyone off guard, even the student enderself. End inhaled sharply through enders nose and sighed, “They’re…they’re not my friends. Not anymore.”
A beat. “Did they do something?” Iida asked.
“…I don’t wanna talk about it.” Kaminari bristled when the class president was about to protest, but Todoroki stopped him, “I think we should leave it. Kaminari looks uncomfortable.”
“Hmph. Fine, but I’ll see to it that they are to be thoroughly punished for whatever they did to hurt you!”
End felt something rise in enders heart at that. They’d protect ender? Kaminari fiddled with enders chopsticks, not wanting to fall for yet another trap. Uraraka stretched, quick to defuse the awkward situation, “Well, since we have Kaminari here, I think we should go to that arcade downtown. I’m pretty you wanted that elephant that’s worth like a thousand tickets, right, Kami?”
“Huh?” Kaminari blinked, “How did you-“
“You mean you don’t remember? You were talking about it pretty loudly the other day.” Tsuyu said. End clenched enders fist. This is stupid. End shouldn’t be happy about something so miniscule. So why did enders heart yearn to be with them?
Kaminari bit the metal part of where enders eraser used to be. It had long since been spat out after end took a chunk out of it. Ender couldn’t help it, really; it helped end focus. But it apparently wasn’t enough as enders mind kept drifting. End sighed and decided to see if Bakugo would be happy to beat the lesson into ender again. Kaminari gathered all enders papers and left enders dorm. But just as end was walking down the hallway, end bumped into Bakugo.
“Oh, hey! I was just looking for you! I kinda need help with this and I was hoping you’d beat these into me again?” Kaminari pleaded. Just as Bakugo was opening his mouth to give a scathing remark, Kirishima walked by, “Hey, Bakugo, we still on for the arcade?”
“Yeah.” The blonde grumbled.
“Alright! We’ll see you in a bit!”
Kaminari stayed there, frozen as Kirishima brushed past ender. End forced enderself to ask, “Wait, Bakugo, you’re all going to the arcade?”
Bakugo scoffed, “Yeah, we didn’t think a loser like you would wanna go anyway. Can’t help ya with that, I’m kinda busy. See ya.”
He pushed past Kaminari, leaving ender in the hallway. And end stood there in shock.
…did they not want to invite Kaminari?
That was when end started to cry. It caught everyone off guard, but Kaminari couldn’t help it as end buried enders face into enders hands. So many months of being ignored, mistreated and left behind had taken a toll on ender. End just cried and cried and cried, noises escaping enders mouth before end could stop them. There were whines and hiccups and ugly snorts while snort filled enders nose. Enders heart hurt something fierce, and end clutched enders chest hard. But no matter how many tears end shed, end knew nothing would make end be take seriously.
Nothing could take back the many hours end spent in the group chat trying to stay in the know. Nothing could take back the hours end spent agonising what end did wrong. Nothing could ever take back the hours end spent with them. And no amount of hours, days or even years could repair the damage done to enders heart. End cried harder when end felt a hand start rubbing enders back. It didn’t leave for a second after that, and Kaminari did nothing to push it away.
When the sobs started to die down, enders head hurt. End couldn’t control the hiccups that were still coming out of enders mouth. Kaminari started to use enders sleeve to rub at enders eyes and nose before Tsuyu stopped ender, “Wait, here, use this napkin. You’ll mess up your uniform.”
Kaminari kindly took it and blew enders nose. Nasally, end apologized, “I-I’m sorry about that. I don’t know why I just started crying.”
“Hey, it’s okay. Sometimes we have off days.” Todoroki said.
“...I guess I owe you all an explanation.”
“You really don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.” Midoriya comforted Kaminari, “You can tell us whenever you feel comfortable.”
“I…” Kaminari didn’t really know what to say. On one hand, end knew that end didn’t have to tell a bunch of classmates anything. End wasn’t ready. What if they laughed at ender again? What if they were lying to ender? What if they wanted a verbal punching bag, a joke. That was probably why they were being so nice. People weren’t normally nice unless they needed something from ender. On the other hand, they had been with ender for a while, didn’t they deserve to know? Seeing as it was nearly dark outside, they had probably been while ender for a while now. They were all definitely in trouble.
So, finally, Kaminari settled on this, “...I’m just…so tired…”
Nobody said anything at first. End was too tired to feel anxious, too tired to brace enderself for the eventual joke that would be coming. Instead, though, Iida said, “We understand, Kaminari. Let’s take you home.”
The track star turned around and crouched for Kaminari to get on his back. The shorter student was hesitant at first, believing that Iida would just drop ender and everyone would laugh at ender then, but enders mind was too tired to fight and argue within itself. With weak legs, end crawled off the chair and climbed onto Iida’s back. Kaminari could feel his strong back muscles as end lied enders head down on his back. End felt Iida do a quick hop and everyone started to make their way out of the ramen shop.
“Aw man, we are so in trouble!” Uraraka pouted. Tsuyu croaked, “Guess we should go to the arcade on a different day…”
Kaminari wanted to say that they could leave ender, that they could go without ender, but in reality, end wanted to go. End wanted to go with a group of people, just to hang out and laugh and talk. Just to go with.
Kaminari woke up after having a long sleep. Enders bed was so damn comfortable, and enders skin even had sleep wrinkles. Content, end stretched enders arms and did the first thing any normal teenager in enders generation did: Pick up enders phone. The first weird thing was that it was 11 in the morning and there weren’t any messages. Normally, the group chat would have over a hundred messages of enders friends saying their good mornings and some weird argument, yet there was nothing.
Then, there was the fact that normally Kaminari hung out with them every Saturday, yet there wasn’t a single invitation. No plans nor time. Did they cancel without telling ender? With how weird they had been with ender, end wasn’t too surprised. But what Kaminari was surprised about was that when end checked enders snapchat, it said that Bakugo was in a park. End didn’t want to believe the worst, but then they thought back to everything they had done to ender. So end immediately checked the snapmap. And, of course, it was like Kaminari thought, “Wait…why does their snapmap say they’re in Asakai Park?”
Kaminari didn’t want to check the snap stories, because end knew what the stories were filled with: Mina taking various pictures of their friends having fun. Except Kaminari wouldn’t be in those photos. End turned off enders phone. Emotionlessly, end went downstairs to get food. There wasn’t any point bitching about it anymore. End wasn’t surprised.
End was used to it.
“I think we need to pick a day where Kaminari can come. Maybe we can finally get that prize!” Midoriya tried hyping everyone up. Uraraka joined in, “Yeah! Just a warning, I’m very competitive!”
“No one’s surprised about that, Ochaco…but how are we going to explain this Aizawa. He’s going to be pretty mad, ribbit.”
“I don’t mind getting in trouble.” Iida said as Kaminari started to drift off, “If it’s for a friend in need, then I don’t mind.”
A friend, huh? Distantly, Kaminari heard everyone agree.