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“Shotgun!”
“What, no! You can’t call shotgun yet!”
“Yes, I can!” Kojiro pointed forward. “I can see the car!”
“No, you idiot!” Kaoru shoved Kojiro’s arm. “You can only call ‘shotgun’ when we’re at least 10 meters away from the car! You called too soon, you cheating monkey!”
“That’s not how it works at all!” Kojiro shoved back. “Stop making up rules, you sore loser!”
“I’m not making up anything! You’re too stupid to remember!”
“You’re the stupid one!”
Ainosuke let out a deep sigh. He led the way to the car as Kaoru and Kojiro continued to bicker. Once near enough, Tadashi stepped out of the driver’s seat, giving a bow to Ainosuke before glancing at the bickering duo.
“What’s it this time?”
Ainosuke tsked and waved his hand dismissively. “Arguing over the semantics of who gets shot-gun.”
“Huh.” Tadashi stared at the two, hands clenched together as they grappled to push the other down.
“Idiot Monkey!”
“Pink Brat!”
“Numbskull!”
“Four Eyed Dork!”
Ainosuke brought a hand to his forehead. “I’m never going to get my beauty rest with them keeping at it this way.”
Tadashi looked at Ainosuke then looked back at Kaoru and Kojiro. He blinked. “I thought you two would want to sit in the back together, seeing how you’re dating.”
In unison, Kaoru and Kojiro inhaled sharply and snapped their faces towards Tadashi. “WHAT!?”
“You know, dating.” Tadashi gave a nod. “Boyfriends, partners, significant others, caring for each other deeply, that type of thing.”
“We are not dating!” Kaoru and Kojiro shouted, both an octave higher than their regular voices.
Tadashi shrugged. “Could have fooled me, given how you fight like an old married couple and how much time you spend together. Not to mention someone informing me how fondly you both talk about the other when they’re not around.”
Kaoru’s and Kojiro’s faces rivaled Ainosuke’s eyes.
“In any case,” Tadashi continued naturally, “I believe shot-gun is already called for. Everyone inside now.”
Tadashi entered back into the car with Ainosuke rounding around to take the front passenger seat. Kaoru and Kojiro remained frozen for a moment. Then they turned to each other. Then they looked away. Then they looked back at each other. Then they released each other and scrambled into the back seats.
For the remainder of the car ride, Kaoru and Kojiro sat quietly and as close as possible to their respective sides, occasionally glancing at each other. Ainosuke settled into the passenger seat, closing his eyes. Tadashi slightly smiled.
~
“A most excellent dining experience!” Ainosuke proclaimed as they exited the restaurant.
Kaoru shrugged. “Suppose it wasn’t completely terrible.”
“Kaorude,” Kojiro gently chastised and wrapped an arm behind Kaoru’s waist. He looked at Ainosuke and Tadashi with a smile. “Thank you for inviting us. Great catching up.”
“Of course! Our pleasure!” Ainosuke replied with a toothy grin, Tadashi nodding beside him. “Now, for next time, how would you two fancy some most spectacular afternoon tea? I know a certain hotel that provides the most lovely-”
“Shotgun!” Kaoru interrupted suddenly.
Ainosuke narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me.”
“What?” Kojiro snapped to Kaoru, shocked. “No, baby! You can’t call shotgun yet!”
“Why not?” Kaoru pointed forward. “I can see the car.”
“What ever happened to the 10 meter rule?” Kojiro poked Kaoru’s waist.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Gorilla. The rule’s always been whenever you see the car.”
Kojiro threw up his arms. “You ridiculous sore loser!”
“Don’t blame me for your forgetful ape brain!” Kaoru flicked Kojiro’s forehead.
“Hey!” Kojiro flicked back.
Kaoru gasped. “That’s no way to treat your husband! Be nice!”
“You be nice!”
Ainosuke sighed and shook his head. “Some things never do change, do they?”
Tadashi watched the bickering couple. A small smile growing on his lips, he wrapped an arm behind Ainosuke. “Nope.”