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It’s always pleasant, seeing Annie. She doesn’t have to smile at him, hug him, or perform any sort of action that could be considered a warm welcome, but it’s always pleasant seeing Annie as she is.
Time after time, Reiner has found Annie to be the only constant in his life. Kicked awake and dragged to save the world, Annie had looked and sounded exactly as he remembered her from years prior. The same height, the same hair shade and length, and even the same voice when she says his name or calls him an idiot.
It’s always pleasant, seeing Annie. Especially now.
It’s been a handful of endless months since they had to diverge routes. Paradis’s official attendance was requested in two locations simultaneously and they couldn’t afford to miss either. Naturally, since there are plenty of them, their best option was to split into two teams. Him, Mikasa, Pieck, and Jean went to the east, while Armin, Annie, and Connie traveled further north.
They’d continued on exchanging letters and keeping each other updated, but what was meant to be a couple of weeks turned into months. They were already in two locations, might as well make the most of it in furthering their diplomatic mission.
Pieck was still here, and so were Jean and Mikasa. He’s grown close to all of them, but Annie has always occupied a special place in his heart. Despite her disappearance, she's been his friend for over a decade now. Regardless of whom they fought for, it didn’t matter as long as they had each other’s backs.
It’s been four months, but that’s okay. They’re reuniting soon. A place where they’d be able to wait out most of the winter months, renting out a small house out of town with the Azumabito money. Reiner and Mikasa were supposed to pick up the remainder of the crew from the harbor, except only Annie showed up.
A last-minute change of plans, she’d said. Armin and Connie had an urgent detour to make, but they should be able to reunite with the rest in around a week. Annie was left behind as the messenger, so not to worry them when they don’t show up on time.
Reiner tries not to let it be too obvious. Not with Mikasa a little disappointed that Armin and Connie are still a week away. In all honesty, Reiner would’ve been content if either man were to be the messenger for the group, but the fact that it’s Annie makes him happy. Relieved, that she’s back. They’ve been a team more than once, he’s used to having her around, whether grumpy and tired from travel or not.
Leaving the harbor area, they’re reminded of the reason they made the rule not to travel far without a companion. Towns near ports and high-traffic travel routes have become hot spots for trouble. Nothing major, but the remnants of political instability meant some of the ruling power slipped into the hands of street rats. It didn’t take long for them to understand why the Azumabito insisted they stay out of town. A little inconvenient, but much safer. The post and mayor’s office take about an hour of walking, where they’re occasionally asked to step in for Hizuru until they’re able to send out a representative of their own.
It’s not particularly dangerous. Not for them, at least. Unless one goes looking for trouble with the heads of the gangs, the only real danger is goons with dull knives—and even duller skills—looking to prove their worth. Still, you never know. Always travel in two, was the reason him and Mikasa headed to the harbor, not either of them.
Normally, it’s an avoid-all-fights rule. Just apologize, don’t make eye contact, and keep walking even when trouble is calling. This time around, it's starting to get dark, they're fairly away from town and more or less cornered in an alleyway. Fortunately, the odds are in their favor. Three ex-military soldiers against a handful of self-trained idiots, all drunk on cheap booze.
“What do you say, Annie?” Reiner takes a solid stand when it’s determined they’ll be fighting their way out of this one. He plants his feet against the compressed dirt and slightly angles to the side, giving his back to Annie. “It’s been a while since we fought side by side.”
From the corner of his eye, he sees Mikasa doing the same, widening her stance and looking her opponents up and down, and Annie… doesn’t move? She still looks disinterested and travel-worn with her hands shoved into the pockets of her hoodie. “I’m not fighting. I’m pregnant.”
It’s always pleasant, seeing Annie. Until she kicks him in the face.
“Huh?” Mikasa mirrors him in almost uncanny accuracy. Her fists drop along with her shoulders and jaw as they both look at Annie, who’s yet to move. Reiner’s ears fade out the annoyed yells of the young boys surrounding them in a semi-circle. His throat runs dry and his jaw locks in place, focusing on nothing but the heavy sigh Annie lets out.
“Go stand in the corner,” Mikasa finally says, breaking the heavy wall of silence between the three of them.
“I'm grounded now?”
“Yes, you’re grounded. Go stand in the corner,” Mikasa repeats herself, pointing adamantly to the corner they’d just passed, situated securely behind her and Reiner, where the fight is least likely to reach.
Annie rolls her eyes and adjusts the straps of her travel bag over her shoulders. One hand leaves the warmth of her front pocket long enough to pat him twice on the shoulder.
Update: Annie’s pregnant.
The new fact repeats itself over and over again, echoing in his head over the silence of the living room. He sits unmoving with Mikasa while Annie unpacks upstairs. No matter how many times Reiner rubs his clammy palms against the legs of his pants, cold sweat returns to prickle his palms less than a minute later.
Annie’s pregnant.
A part of him is still in denial, not quite having a grasp on the new piece of information.
Okay, no, no, one step at a time. It’s not like pregnancies are spontaneous. One doesn’t just wake up pregnant, even Reiner knows that much and he’s positive Mikasa and Annie do, too.
So then… who?
Annie is yet to say anything regarding her…condition. It’s not like they asked, but they can’t. What’s Reiner to do? Go up to her and say: ‘Hey, Annie! Who’s the guy you had unprotected sex with recently?’ Fuck, no! He’d get kicked in the face for real this time around.
With all the mess in his head, Reiner sticks to the only comforting thought. At least he can rest assured knowing that there’s no way it could’ve been unwanted. Annie is perfectly capable of defending herself against any opponent. Still, any relief this brings is completely yanked when the line of thought continues into the 'unwanted things' route.
“What’re we going to do, Reiner?” Mikasa is thankfully there to take his mind out of the spiral he was falling into.
“Ah! I… was planning on asking you. Or Pieck.” He scratched the back of his head, just anything to not dwell. “Being women like her.”
“That’s hardly related. You know Annie better than I do,” Mikasa mutters. Her fingers interlock over her knees. Neither of them attempts eye contact.
“To be honest, I was just as surprised as you, if not more.” Reiner drops his face into his awaiting palms, fingers pressing into his temples to alleviate the headache he feels coming up. “I mean, isn’t this the type of news to celebrate?”
“Should we? In this particular situation?” Reiner peeks at her, Mikasa’s mouth pressed into a straight line with a slight frown. Dammit, she’s just as lost as he is. If only there was a-
“Shame those two couldn’t make it. Was looking forward to getting back on track,” Pieck sighs, leaning heavily against the door frame. She has a half-full glass of spirits in one hand, casually swishing the drink against the transparent walls. It takes her a couple of seconds to register the tense atmosphere of the living room. “What’s with you two?”
That’s right! Pieck will know what to do. She always does!
“Pieck!” Reiner starts, almost jumping out of his seat at the opportunity. “Annie’s pregnant and we-” Pieck almost chokes on her drink, her eyes blown wide.
“Congratulations to that! Any kid to pop out of Annie would be really cute!” She lifts her glass in a one-sided toast and gulps down the rest. They’d all come to the agreement to get drunk out of the brain only once a week—minor exceptions here and there—to conserve their budgets and minimize the odds of bad decisions. Today just had to be Pieck’s day. “Why the long faces?”
“That’s the thing,” Reiner breaths, long and powerless, sitting back fully into his seat but still facing Pieck. “We… don’t know whether she’d want us to be happy for her. Annie herself didn’t seem ecstatic about it and she might be going through all of this alone and…”
Pieck stares at him as words run out, eyebrows frowned in concentration. “Even you think that, Mikasa?” she asks and Mikasa nods hesitantly. Pieck then looks back at him before whining “God help me, you two are idiots.” She tips the glass into her mouth only to find it empty. “Hey, Jean. Can I go over my allowance this week? Just one more drink?”
She leaves him and Mikasa right where they started, contemplating Annie in the living room while she gets refused an additional drink. Even drunk off her ass, Pieck isn’t stupid. Far from it. Could she know something they don’t?
Annie has never been the overly expressive type, keeping to herself most of the time. But isn’t pregnancy an exception to the rule? Something she’d want to share? With Pieck taking the matter so lightly, Reiner decides to hang on to the bit of hope. Perhaps, this is all a misunderstanding. Maybe Annie’s underwhelming reaction is due to travel exhaustion—all whilst pregnant, they mustn’t forget.
Less than a minute after Pieck had given him some hope, he hears Annie’s light footsteps padding down the stairs. She glances in the direction of the study in the corner behind the staircase before catching sight of them in the living room. “There you two are.”
“You’re done with your unpacking? The bottom shelf and second drawer are for you,” Mikasa says just as Annie drops next to Reiner on the couch.
“Yeah, they were the only empty ones so I figured,” Annie says, sounding as normal as ever. That’s a ridiculous thought to have! Does pregnancy even change a woman’s voice?
“By the way,” Annie starts, turning to face him. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention my pregnancy to anyone else.” She ends her sentence looking at Mikasa, confirming that her request is aimed at both of them.
“We’ve… kind of already told Pieck,” Mikasa says with an apologetic tone.
Annie sighs, her shoulders and head dropping to the backrest. “I’ll go talk to her.” And then she’s out again, canceling out Pieck’s positive effect, leaving Mikasa and Reiner in more dread than before.
He tries to hang on to Pieck’s optimism over the situation. Such things are meant to be celebrated, no? So then why is Annie behaving like it’s not. He’d tried to gauge the size of her belly multiple times now, but he's not sure whether her baggy clothes are doing an excellent job at hiding the protrusion or if she’s not that far through to show.
If not, does that mean Annie doesn’t plan on keeping it? Certainly, that would be hard to do whilst traveling. Is that the reason she was sent home first?
Wait, no. If Annie had no plans of going through the pregnancy, then she wouldn’t have avoided the fight earlier today. But then again, wouldn’t that put Annie herself at risk?
If Annie had decided that it was none of his business—nor anyone else's, for that matter—he should respect her wishes, no matter how much the exclusion hurts. Reiner had sworn to himself to never allow the people that matter to him to suffer, not while he’s around. Yet here’s Annie… Maybe he’s already failed.
Reiner has to admit, even all of them combined can barely make a palatable meal, but most of their dishes don’t taste half-bad. They didn’t always get the chance to eat together as a group, so now that they’re in the 'low season' of diplomatic affairs, they’re making the most of it, except that Annie doesn’t join them.
When they all get to their usual place at the table, Annie remains seated in the armchair in the living room adjoining the dining area. Reiner tries offering her a bowl of freshly-cooked stew, but she recoils into the corner of the seat. Her hand shoots to her face, covering her mouth and nose, rapidly turning the other way.
“Get that away from me,” She wheezes. Her shoulders hunch over and her other hand covertly wraps around her midriff.
“Sorry,” Reiner stutters, not having expected such a strong reaction. She’s been awfully pale since arriving, but he'd assumed it due to not eating properly while at sea.
“Let her be, Reiner. Not all of us can shake off sea travel as easily,” Jean calls out to him from the table.
“You almost threw up the first time we got on a boat,” Mikasa notes, too calm for the way Jean almost chokes on his food.
Fair enough. He doesn’t push. Reiner swallows his worries along with cubes of potatoes and carrots, trying not to lose his appetite when Annie pulls her knees up to her chest, angling her body away from the dining table. The armchair is big enough to accommodate her whole body with room to spare.
When his attention returns to the remaining people in the room, Mikasa is the only one that's also looking at Annie. Shifting her eyes to meet his, he notices a similar breed of worry painted on her features.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t residual motion sickness.
Annie doesn’t help herself to the leftover stew that evening, nor does she munch on more than a quarter of a slice of bread the following morning, this time, joining them at the breakfast table. It’s the same the following mealtime, and when the pattern continues on through dinner, guilt is eating up at Reiner.
One can only go for so long without food, even Annie. She’s no longer a titan shifter, and she’s pregnant for fuck’s sake!
That evening, in the window between dinner and loosely-set bedtimes, the house is at its most quiet. Annie is in the living room, leaving Mikasa and Pieck in their shared room to continue working in peace. They were supposed to be working with the information they’d gotten from the southern front, but with the change in plans, only Annie is reading the briefs and official statements they received on their end. That way, she’ll be able to fill in Armin and Connie when they finally show up.
Joining her in the living room, Annie simply glances at him before she returns to her task pre-interruption. Reiner sits opposite her, but with nothing to occupy himself with, he doubts he can sit there in silence for much longer. He considers multiple routes, all of which might lead to disaster on his end. He could comment that she has barely eaten in a couple of days, or that she’s looking pale, or straight up address the elephant in the room of why she’s pregnant and alone or still with an unwanted pregnancy without saying a word about it.
“You’re staring,” Annie says, and what, otherwise, would’ve been a glare to make his spine shiver, is merely a pointed stare, her eyes too sloped and weighted down to intimidate.
“I was just…” Reiner has been staring. A lot. Mainly at her stomach, because Annie looks the exact same. He doesn’t get to finish his nonexistent sentence when Annie dog ears the top corner of the papers in her hand, dropping them to the armrest before tugging the front of her hoodie up, baring her stomach.
“You could’ve just asked to see it, you know. No need to act like a creep,” Annie says, giving him a few seconds before lowering her top back down. Reiner doesn’t notice any difference. Her torso looks just like his before breakfast, flat and empty, except hers isn’t. “I’m only a couple of months in, that’s why you can’t see anything,” Annie clarifies when he doesn’t say anything, returning to her assigned reading, opting to ignore his presence in the room and that hurts.
Reiner has been unreliable since day one. At least, Annie treated him that way. A team member she had to work with, but would’ve otherwise preferred not to. He’s done with that. Sure, he’s a decade late following through on his promise, but it’s better now than never.
“Annie, I… you…” Words betray him. Could anything he says actually help? Besides, Annie is now looking up from her paper at him and he musters up the courage to ask. His elbows rest on his knees, head dropping into his palms and he stares at the chipped wooden floor. “Is everything okay?”
“Why do you ask?”
“It’s just that you’re pregnant,” Reiner manages to control his voice and whisper the last word, lest he exposes her secret to the one person left out of the loop. “You’re pregnant and you’re not saying anything about it. Annie, is everything okay?”
He does eventually glance up at her, it’s been a few seconds with no response. She’s still looking at him, eyes wider but face as hard to read as ever.
“Seriously,” Annie sighs, her chest deflating with the weight of it and back slumping down the couch. She resigns the half a dozen papers in her hand to the coffee table, pushing one hand through her hair. “Now you worry about me?”
“I always worry about you,” he finds himself saying. Honest, but also concerned this conversation wouldn’t last if he doesn’t latch on. Annie glances at him with the one eye not covered with her hand. It’s not a glare, nor is it one of condescension and mockery.
Reiner considers the silence has gone on for far too long and he should say something before he misses his chance, but Annie getting up is a clear signal of it being too late. He’d either have to grab her hand and prevent her from leaving or follow her. Neither of which sounds like a decent option.
Annie passes around his chair on her way out, walking behind him. It’s only when she’s out of his sight does Reiner feel the weight of her hand on the top of his head. A heavy pat that also makes sure he doesn’t turn to look at her.
“There’s no need for that, but thanks.” She ruffles his short hair, fingers gentle in their intrusion. “If I need help I’ll ask for it,” Annie says, and then she’s gone, leaving nothing but the pile of papers on the coffee table and a warm indentation in the couch opposite him
Would she, though? Reiner thinks, focusing on the soft sound of her feet going up the stairs.
Two more days pass and Reiner still has one thing on his mind when he should have a dozen to ponder over. the other times he'd tried seeking guidance from Pieck she remained tight-lipped, only reassuring him that things are fine and he should leave Annie to her own except he can’t.
He’d left her alone once already, back on the island, after being too weak and too cowardly to even know where she'd been. Even weeks after their failed first mission outside wall Rose, Annie had assured him and Bertholdt that everything was fine. And everything was, in fact, fine until it wasn’t.
Would Annie ask for help if she needed it? No. Reiner doesn’t even second guess himself when giving that answer. Would this particular situation be any different? Maybe, but he has no reason to believe so.
Mikasa seems just as lost as him. At least, she was able to get from Annie that she’ll be keeping the baby. She seemed pretty sure, Mikasa had told him. That’s… one step in a direction.
He doesn’t like where his thoughts lead him, but with it being the middle of the night, he has nothing to distract himself with. His thoughts for the past few days have been of nothing but Annie, and Annie alone. She’s all on her own in this. If they haven't ran into trouble that day, him and Mikasa would be none the wiser about her pregnancy. She would’ve probably blamed her nausea and poor appetite on the long travel by boat or their less than savory cooking.
Reiner tries even harder not to think of how she ended up in his situation. Isolation can be cruel. Loneliness even more so, and she has experienced the two intensely for the past four years, if not longer. Reiner had, numerous times, tried to convince himself that him and Bertholdt offered some sense of a support to Annie growing up, but he doesn’t allow himself to overestimate it.
Annie has always been independent. All of them were. It was the primary criteria for being selected as a warrior; self-sufficient with the ability to work with a team when necessary. Still, one can only go so far feeling unheard. What Reiner had considered solving with a rifle, Annie might seek hollow companionship for. This all might’ve been an accident of a single night, why Annie insists on keeping it is beyond him, but he won’t even try to understand her reasoning. That’s not what he’s here for, only support her and be there for her for once in his life.
The inside of his throat sticks to itself, rubbing like sandpaper when he tries to swallow. Reiner pushes himself up in his bed, there are two other empty bunks in the room he shares with Jean, who’s fast asleep. That’s right, out of all of them, Jean is the only one that doesn’t know. Keeping his steps light and avoiding the floorboards known to creak, he makes his way down the stairs and to the kitchen, where he hopes a glass of water could help him wash away those dark thoughts.
His body immediately kicks into fight or flight response when the corner of his eye catches something—or someone—that shouldn’t be there, but there’s no need for it. It’s Annie. Sitting cross-legged on the kitchen counter, chewing on a square of sweet cornbread.
Taking a deep breath, Reiner lets himself calm down and take the whole image in. She’s still in her sleepwear; sweatpants, and a warm, knitted sweater, and there are bread crumbs everywhere. Way more mess than one slice could produce. He clears his throat to shake off the thickness that had found its way there after hours of anxious thinking. “Couldn’t sleep?”
“No, I was just hungry,” Annie says, swallowing the last of the slice in her hand and reaching into the paper bag for another one. “You?”
“I… needed some water.” It’s true, he’s not lying, so why does he feel disingenuous saying it? Is it because he spent the last two and a half hours thinking about her when she'd told him not to? Maybe. Reiner tends to feel guilty about all sorts of things.
Annie doesn’t seem to think much of it, though. She reaches for the shelf next to her head and grabs him a clear glass from the row of cups and mugs lining it. He mutters a quick thanks as he takes the glass, pouring it half-full from the pitcher they leave on the kitchen table before gulping the contents of it down.
“Then, umm… good night,” Reiner says, leaving his empty glass in the sink. It’s his turn to do the dishes tomorrow anyways.
“Night,” Annie mumbles over a mouthful of bread bulging in one of her cheeks.
The next day, Reiner makes sure to get more of that sweet bread on his way back.
When Reiner wakes up, he’s met with unexpected silence. Checking his pocket watch, he’s able to confirm he’s up on time, not exceptionally early or oversleeping. Jean’s bed is made, but nothing else is out of place. Going down the stairs, he notes the sound of the shower running coming from the bathroom, but he lets it be, making his way to the kitchen. There, he only finds Mikasa, sipping coffee from the colorful mug Jean had bought her on their many travels.
“Where’s everyone?” Reiner asks now that he’s able to confirm the ground floor is also empty.
“Jean and Pieck went to pick up Armin and Connie from the harbor. They left at around dawn.”
“Ah, that’s today,” Reiner mumbles, pouring himself a glass of water. The last few days have been a jumbled mess. Not only due to the lack of a functioning schedule, but also the pressing matter at hand. Annie’s yet to say anything and he’s as lost as the day they'd first picked her up. Maybe they’re just not getting the whole picture. Perhaps, when Armin and Connie… “Armin!”
“What about him?” Mikasa looks a bit startled. Ah, he didn’t mean to say it out loud.
“About Annie. Armin… he should know what to do about it.” Reiner finds himself leaning forward towards Mikasa. He hopes she would see the potential and it’s not just him grasping at nothing. “He always has a solution.”
“Reiner, that’s… not bad. It could work.” Mikasa sets her cup on the table after almost spilling half of it when she was startled. “But Annie said not to tell anyone. Don’t you think that includes Armin?”
That’s an issue, alright. He’d rather not betray Annie’s trust, even if he feels like Armin might be their only answer. They’ve known each other for long enough and Armin is the best out of all of them at reading people and talking to them. Besides, he’s certain Armin cares about Annie enough not to say the wrong thing or hurt her feelings.
“I’ll try to approach it differently.” Reiner rotates the empty glass in his hand. He finally felt closer to a tangible solution only to realize it’s not as grand as he’d thought.
“You’re really worried for Annie?”
“I am. It’s just that, since we were little, it was always ‘leave it to Annie,’ and ‘you can count on Annie’ for a lot of things when we should’ve been a team,” Reiner says, feeling his throat tighten at the countless memories. “I hate to think she might’ve internalizes that.”
“I’m… sure Annie counts on you the most out of all of us,” Mikasa says, the words simple yet comforting. Reiner sticks to nodding, not trusting himself to vocally agree to something he barely believes.
There’s some commotion outside before they hear the lock of the front door turning. “Look who the day brought along!” Jean announces with a big smile as he throws the door open.
“No more sleeping bags!” Connie whines as soon as he steps through the front door, throwing his bag into the corner. “I’m never taking beds for granted ever again!”
Reiner takes note that they both look good. A little disheveled and clothes dusty, but they don’t look hurt or distraught in any way. He barely gets to see Armin step in before his view of the man is blocked, Mikasa wrapping her arms around Armin's shoulders, pulling him into a reciprocated hug. She also hugs Connie, pulling him in while he’s in the process of taking off his shoes.
“It’s good to be back with everyone,” Connie says patting Mikasa's back, his usually shaved head overgrown by a centimeter or so. “By the way, where’s Annie?”
That’s right, Annie! She's probably the one showering. This might be the only opportunity for him and Mikasa to get Armin as close into the loop as possible before Annie joins in.
“Armin-” Reiner starts, but he’s only able to hold the blond’s attention for a fraction of a second before his head swivels towards the stairs.
"Annie!” She barely sets her feet on the ground floor before her arms are encircling Armin’s shoulders. They’re smiling and talking, but Reiner can’t hear a single word from where he’s standing, but it makes Annie smile and that’s all that matters.
Her arms fall loosely around his shoulders, putting some space between them. He thinks Armin will be the first to end their embrace, but the hand that drops from her waist goes straight to her stomach. Palm gentle against her lower abdomen.
Oh?
Oh!
So, Armin already knows. This should make things so much easier. If he already knows, there’s no breaking of Annie’s trust when consulting him on the matter. That also explains why Annie was the one sent as the messenger, reducing the total time she had to travel. All they had to do was wait for the puzzle pieces to come together.
“If you were gonna complain the whole time, you should’ve taken Annie’s place as the messenger,” Jean scolds, smacking Connie on his back.
“Hey, we had to scale a fucking mountain!”
“It was barely an uphill climb, Connie,” Armin says, his arms still around Annie but no longer feeling her belly. “Besides, we needed to take the shortcut. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have made it.”
“It’s like they didn’t want us to make it. Those bastards, inviting us only to make it look like we were the ones to not show up.” He finally slips the second shoe off, grabbing Jean's arm to not fall in the process. “Besides, Annie’s pregnant. There’s no way we would put her through that.”
“You are!” It’s a shame that only Jean is surprised by the news. Well, Reiner is too, but for an entirely different reason. Annie hadn’t kept it a secret from Armin and Connie, but before he could even dare feel hurt about it, he reminds himself that maybe she couldn’t. Maybe she-
“Congratulations, you two!” Jean says, leaving Connie to drop to the floor, ignoring his complaints and turning his attention to Annie, still standing with Armin’s arms around her-
Wait… You two?