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“Shut up.” Dick snapped angrily, trying to starve off the feeling of wanting to rip his skin off his body and scream his lungs out. He shivered, clutched his arms together even tighter against his chest and glared at Jason.
“I’m just saying- I- I don’t mind helping you out.” Jason spoke hesitantly, still wearing his colours. Dick didn’t like him. The kid had swooped in and taken everything so quickly- and to make it worse the kid, despite having spent so long on the streets, was a good one. He had manners, even if he spoke a little rough, he showed compassion and understanding and consideration and he was everything Robin should be. Dick hated it. The kid was already a better Robin than him.
And now the kid was offering to hold him while he rode out the waves of painful cuddle pollen. He’d shoved the kid out of the way and taken the brunt because sure he was acting like an asshole in his petty stand-off with Bruce and taking some of the anger (and jealousy) out on Jason, but he also had been under cuddle pollen before and he didn’t wish it on anyone. Jason had offered, hesitantly, to hold him though, despite the fact Dick knew he wasn’t the best with touch, the way he still sometimes flinched when Bruce reached to ruffle his hair or when Alfred put a hand on his shoulder. The kid had clearly been through tough times and shied away from human contact… and yet offered regardless.
Dick shook his head.
“No. I’m fine.” Dick hissed, teeth chattering. He felt so cold and boiling all at once, his body trembled and yet his skin burnt. He hated it. Cuddle Pollen was the worst.
“I- I know you don’t like me and you- you don’t want me touching you.. But um. I promise I’ll let go as soon as you’re okay and- and-” Jason fumbled, fingers tangling together awkwardly as he looked away. Dick frowned. He didn’t have any issue with Jason touching him, did he think Dick cared? Dick liked hugs, thank you very much… But he was too noble to accept help from someone younger than him. He was trying to prove he was an adult now, that he wasn’t Batman's sidekick, he was his own hero and he didn’t need-
God he really wanted a hug.
He trembled violently, teeth still clanking, lips tinging blue and face pale. Jason looked nervous, on edge, one minute away from just grabbing him and holding him without his consent, because that was another thing Dick had noticed, the kid never initiated any form of contact without explicit consent even if it was just the brush of hands or shoulder bumps or- well anything. Dick tried not to think too hard about Jason’s consent issues, it didn’t paint a nice picture and Dick didn’t want to presume the worst.
“I- I don’t care about that.” Dick got out between little shivers and chattering teeth, tears finally welling in his eyes against his will, spilling down his cheeks, hiccupping sobs falling from his lips.
“Y-You don’t? I- I thought it was because I- I’m a dirty street rat.” Jason still wouldn’t look at Dick but his whole stance screamed at how uncomfortable he was at the whole conversation. Dick felt a little bad. Honestly it wasn’t the kids fault, he’d been dealt a terrible card and he should be angry at Bruce, not some poor kid who Bruce was giving a better life to.
“No. God no. Did you- Did- Think I-” Dick choked on the words, giving another violent quiver. He couldn’t get his tongue to move, it felt numb, he hiccupped on another sob and finally relented, fingers uncurling from where they’d dug desperately into his arms, to slowly reach towards Jason.
Jason frowned, looked conflicted, face contorted in both fear and reluctance.
“You… you sure, Dick?” Jason asked, moving a little closer but still not touching despite how awful Dick looked. Dick only nodded. He couldn’t. He needed-
Jason ducked down onto his knees and slowly wrapped his arms around Dick. Dick wailed into the hold, arms coming to cling to Jason, sobbing into his shoulder as Jason held him. Dick couldn’t remember when he’d crawled into Jason’s lap, nor when he’d practically merged with the other, trying to wiggle as close as he could towards Jason. He needed the contact. He felt so warm and relaxed and soothed-
“D-Don’t let go-” Dick sobbed against Jason’s shoulder, barely aware where the young teens hand rubbed circles on his back, little shushing sounds.
“Shh, Dick, it’s okay. I got you.” Jason murmured, rocking him and holding him close. Dick didn’t have the energy to answer so instead he just let out a muffled hum between his cries. He didn’t want Bruce to see him like this. He wanted to be stronger.
“So, today at school this kid in my class, his name’s Kevin, he’s a total douche.” Jason started, distracting Dick with his trivial tales. “He threw a banana at the wall, like right near the teacher. He started chatting shit about how his parents practically funded the place and he didn’t want homework. Like, total spoiled brat.” Jason continued, squeezing Dick close every time he let out a whimper or cry. “I’ve got you. It’s okay. It’ll stop soon.” Jason spoke, softly, one hand reaching to brush through Dick’s hair, Dick sagged into the motions, utterly relaxing and reminding him of his mother. “Anyway, even though his parents apparently practically own the school, he got suspended and it was pretty funny. The teacher, she’s this really old lady but she’s nice and she went full ham on his ass. Really shouted at him. Was badass.” Jason giggled a little at his own tale. Dick might have even smiled at the noise any other time, any time he didn’t feel like he was melting.
“Y-You- Good at- at this.” Dick fumbled, teeth making it hard to talk as they refused to stop twitching and chittering.
Jason let out a humourless laugh.
“I lived on the streets Dick. You think I’ve never been caught up in Ivy’s shit before? I’ve had practically every pollen going through my system.” Jason scoffed. Dick tensed. Ivy had some nasty ones that should never be given to kids. Jason seemed to realise quickly where Dick’s thought process had gone.
“D’worry Dick. S’fine. Nothing I wasn’t already used to. Cuddle Pollen is the worst though, it’s not like it's easy to find people who’ll hold you and expect nothing else.” Jason sighed. “But, some of the ladies got doused sometimes and I was always good at looking after ‘em, they usually tried to pay me for it too, even though they never had much themselves.” Jason recounted. “But yeah... I’ve done this before. Not my first rodeo. You’re gonna be okay, remember that Dick?” Jason reassured and Dick?
Well, with how warm and safe he felt? He could almost believe him.