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“I’m telling you, this isn’t gonna work,” Nobara sang as she pranced around the kitchen counter. “Megumi’s fucking clueless. You’re gonna have to get down on one knee with a rose before he even thinks there might be any romantic intent.”
“Come on, Nobara, you’re being ridiculous,” Yuuji said as he shifted the stir fry around the skillet. “I’m making him lunch. It’s not like you make him lunch.”
Nobara placed an elbow on the counter and rested her chin on it. “Yeah, I don’t cook for anyone. And like I said, Megumi’s fucking clueless. He’ll just think ‘Oh geez, Yuuji’s such a nice guy, he made me lunch to be nice!’”
“I don’t think Megumi has ever sounded that cheerful in his entire life,” Yuuji refuted.
“Oh, my bad.” Nobara slumped her shoulders, forced an over-exaggerated frown onto her face, and lowered her voice as much as she possibly could. “‘Ah god, Yuuji made me lunch. Why is he so nice? I didn’t fucking ask him to be.’”
“Mm, better,” Yuuji said. “But I still think—”
“Hey.” Megumi shuffled into the kitchen, and Yuuji snapped his mouth shut and turned his head away. “What are you two doing?”
Nobara pulled her phone out of her pocket, unlocking it to scroll aimlessly through the first app that caught her eye. “Yuuji’s making you lunch,” she said without looking up.
Yuuji made a rather amusing choking noise, and Nobara had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. What, had he thought it would be less obvious if he just served Megumi a plate of food and said it was for him? Shit, even if he had, like she’d said, Megumi wouldn’t notice anything was amiss.
“Oh.” Megumi sat down on the stool next to her, face as impassive as ever. “Why?”
“To… to be nice?” Yuuji attempted with a small smile. “You want some?”
“Uh, sure, since you went through the trouble of making it, I guess.” He shrugged before pulling out his own phone. “We’ve got that mission later though, so make sure you both are ready to go on time.”
Yuuji’s smile fell, and Nobara couldn’t help but mouth, I told you so.
Her friend glared, but didn’t dare to argue in front of Megumi.
“Do you think if I asked him to go watch a movie with me he’d get the idea?” Yuuji asked a few days later.
“Megumi doesn’t even like movies,” Nobara said. “You ever seen him watch a movie?” She clutched her switch controller tighter and scooted a little closer to the screen. If she could just hit Yuuji with a turtle shell—
“I guess not…” Yuuji said. “What does he like to do? He’s never that excited when we go out to eat, he doesn’t ever buy anything when we go out shopping, he—”
Nobara punched the button, and let out a triumphant whoop as her shell hit Yuuji and she was able to cross the finish line just before him.
“Oh fuck you.” He flopped backwards so he was sprawled across her bedroom floor. “I’m trying to have a genuine conversation.”
“Your fault for starting it during Mario Kart.” But she set her controller aside, and laid down on the floor next to him.
God, the ceilings in these dorms were disgusting. Why the hell did no one ever clean them?
Yuuji groaned and laid his arm over his eyes. “I don’t wanna just ask him out! What if I freak him out? I wanna—Well, I wanna see if he’s even interested, or at least hint that I like him without just dumping it on him without any warning, you know? But nothing I try is working!”
“Okay, do you want actual advice and help? Or you want me to butt out and mind my own damn business?” she asked. “‘Cause I’m more than happy to help, or just keep watching you crash and burn. Doesn’t really matter to me.”
He was silent for a few moments, and let his arm drift back to his side, before saying, “I want help. Clearly I’ve got no damn idea what I’m doing.”
“Alright, cool!” Nobara shot back into a sitting position. “Like I’ve said before, Megumi is clueless. If you wanna drop hints without being ridiculously obvious, the best way to do that is going to be treating him slightly different than he’s used to, and slightly different from everyone else.”
Yuuji’s face scrunched up in confusion. “The hell does that mean?”
Nobara tilted her head and tapped her finger against her chin. How best to explain this…? “Megumi doesn’t touch us,” she decided.
“Huh…?”
“Megumi doesn’t touch us,” she repeated. “Think about it! He hardly ever initiates physical contact. Not like me and you do, anyways. He keeps to himself.”
“Oh… yeah, I guess you’re right,” Yuuji said.
Nobara waved him off. “Of course I am. But here’s my point. Touch is obviously reserved for special people for Megumi, and knowing Megumi, he probably assumed everyone else is the same way. So a simple thing you could do would be to just… touch him more often. Sit closer to him on the couch. Tap his shoulder from time to time. Grab onto his arm when you laugh. That kinda thing.”
“Wow, that’s actually a really good idea,” Yuuji said. “Is that a girl thing? Are girls just better at this?”
“No, it’s a me thing. I’m better at this.” She picked his controller up off the floor and tossed it to him. “So give that a go. Now come on, quit moping. I’m winning this cup, so hurry up and pick the course.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He sat up and began scrolling through the different race tracks.
Nobara watched with a triumphant smile as Yuuji sat much closer to Megumi than he normally did on the couch. She had to give it to him, her friend didn’t make a big deal out of the unusual action at all. He just reached for the TV remote, and began flicking through channels like nothing was going on.
Megumi glanced over at him, his brows knitting together in confusion, but he didn’t say anything. He turned back to the book propped open on his knee, but after every page or so, he looked to Yuuji, who was still just flicking through the channels.
Their shoulders were brushing, and Yuuji shifted his leg so that their thighs pressed together.
Megumi didn’t try to shy away.
Without bothering to be sly about it, Nobara whipped out her cell phone and snapped a photo of them. Both boys were too distracted to notice regardless. She sent it to Maki with the caption, I deserve a medal for helping Yuuji get your idiot cousin to realize he likes him.
It only took a few seconds for Maki to send back, They’re just sitting next to each other on the couch?
Trust me, it’s a progress
Whatever u say
I do say! And she punctuated the text with roughly ten sparkly emoji hearts.
“What’s got you grinning over there?” Megumi asked, tearing her attention away from her phone. “That’s usually not a prelude to anything good.”
“Fuck off and mind your own damn business!” she snapped as she turned her nose up. “Why the fuck are you sitting so damn close to Yuuji anyways?”
Yuuji’s mouth fell open, and she snorted at the look of complete and utter betrayal on his face, as if she still didn’t know exactly what she was doing.
“Wha—I don’t—He just sat down here!” Megumi sputtered. “And I wasn’t about to get up and move!” A faint red blush dusted across his cheeks. “You fuck off!”
“Oh, whatever.” Nobara pulled her knees up to her chest, readjusting to try and get comfortable in her own chair. “I was just wondering. Normally you push me away if I get that close.” She shrugged. “Hey, we should go get sushi later tonight.”
Megumi narrowed his eyes, but his posture began to relax as he picked up his book again. “Yeah, whatever. I’m not paying though.”
“I’ll just snatch Gojo’s credit card again,” she said, already pulling up a list of good sushi places in Tokyo. “I’m inviting Maki.”
Yuuji began to relax as he realized Megumi had moved on from Nobara’s accusations. “Aw, you’re inviting Maki but not Panda or Inumaki?”
“We’ll just bring them some sushi back if it’s so important to you,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I’m already setting up a reservation for the four of us.”
“So… Bad news,” Nobara said with an exaggerated sigh. “The reservations got screwed up, but! They can do two sets of two.”
Maki raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything, while Megumi demanded, “What?” in a flat voice.
“So, Megumi, Yuuji, you two get your own table, and me and Maki will get ours,” Nobara continued. “We’ll just meet back up and go out and do something after we eat.”
Maki rolled her eyes, but was quick to play along with the scheme she’d already figured out. “Yeah, whatever. I’m not standing here and waiting forever, just so I can eat raw fish next to you two jokers.” She rested her elbow on Nobara’s shoulder. “You boys have fun on your date.”
Megumi just stared at them, while Yuuji muttered something about it not being a date.
“Come on.” Maki nudged Nobara further into the restaurant. “I’m fucking starving.”
Nobara glanced over her shoulder and winked at Yuuji, before allowing Maki to guide her along.
“Real fucking subtle,” Maki muttered in her ear.
Nobara resisted the urge to lean in closer. “Yeah, well, subtle isn’t gonna work too well for them.”
“I suppose you’re right,” Maki said with a shrug. “Megumi’s always been that way.”
Must be a Zen’in trait… Nobara thought, because despite Maki figuring out exactly what was going on with Yuuji and Megumi, she didn’t realize that Nobara had orchestrated this whole thing for another reason.
But whatever. They had the whole school year. And for now, she would just enjoy her fancy sushi.
Not five minutes after they sat down, Nobara’s phone buzzed, and Megumi’s name popped up.
Nobara! Does Yuuji have a thing for me?
She snickered and held the phone out towards Maki. “Told you I knew what I was doing.”
Maki leaned back to rest her arm on the back of her chair. “Alright, alright, I’ll give it to you. But to be fair, only a fucking idiot wouldn’t realize someone was trying to set them up on a date after what you just pulled.”
Nobara narrowed her eyes, and had to bite her tongue to keep from saying something she would regret.
Her phone buzzed again, and she pulled it back.
ANSWER ME NOBARA!!!!
She smiled as she sent back yeah lol and then tucked her phone back into her pocket, content to ignore it for the rest of the dinner.
It didn’t buzz again.
“You know, you could have just told me you were interested,” Megumi said as soon as they got back to the dorms, and Maki headed back to her own room, leaving Nobara a little disappointed. “Or you could have just told me he was interested,” he continued as he whirled around to jab a finger towards her.
Nobara raised her hands in surrender. “All I did was what was asked of me. He said he didn’t want to be obvious.”
“But you were obvious!” Yuuji exclaimed. “You were so obvious! The only more obvious thing you could’ve done was tell him!”
“I told you, he’s oblivious. This was the only way anything was going to happen within the next… oh, six or so months.” She shrugged and kicked her shoes off. “Now you can go hold hands or canoodle or do whatever the hell it is you wanna do. I’ll just go fuck off and watch shitty reality TV to feel better about my own life.”
Yuuji caught her arm as she tried to turn and walk off. “Really… thanks. I know I never would have said anything if you hadn’t done any of that.”
Nobara shrugged and offered him a small smile. “Hey, what are friends for? But really, I’m happy for you two. But leave me out of it when you’re being gross!”
Megumi hid his face in his hands. “This is so embarrassing.”
“What, caring about someone?” Nobara teased. “What are you, five?”
“No! Not noticing what you two were up to! I knew something was weird when you basically sat on top of me on the couch—”
“I left an inch of space between us!” Yuuji argued.
Nobara snorted. Yeah, this definitely never would have gone anywhere without her meddling. “Well now you can sit on top of each other in peace. Like I said, I’m gonna go watch some shitty reality TV, you two have fun.”
Yuuji and Megumi exchanged a quick look, and Yuuji grabbed her as she tried to walk off again. “Hey… Is something wrong?”
“No. Nothing’s wrong.” She shook her head. Maki just didn’t notice anything at all, again, no matter what I do, and I’m running out of ideas. “It’s fine.”
“Wait… What was the point in bringing Maki?” Yuuji asked.
Shit, shit, shit. The last thing she wanted was for them to know she had a thing for Maki! Knowing Yuuji, he’d never be able to keep his mouth shut!
“She wasn’t in on it, was she?” he asked.
“I mean, no, not really,” she said. “She figured it out, but she didn’t know what was going on beforehand or anything. I just—”
“You like Maki!” he exclaimed with a triumphant grin. “You like Maki!”
Nobara lunged forward and pressed her hand over his mouth. “Shut the hell up! I do not!”
“You’re a bad liar,” Megumi said as he crossed his arms.
“It’s none of your damn business who I do and don’t like!”
“I mean, you meddled with us,” he pointed out.
“Because I was asked!”
Yuuji gasped and clapped his hands together, wiggling away from Nobara so he could speak without her hand covering his mouth. “I’m gonna set you up with Maki! Like you did tonight!”
“Please don’t,” she requested. It wasn’t that she had no faith in Yuuji—
Who was she kidding? She had no faith in Yuuji to be successful regarding something like that. He wasn’t even able to handle his own crush in a reasonable way, and there was no way in hell he would be able to convince Maki to ask Nobara out, or orchestrate a situation where such a thing would happen.
“Aw, why not?” he pouted. “I wanna help you like you helped me! Maybe I could convince Gojo to send you two on a mission together or something. Or I’ll tell her you think glasses are cute!”
Nobara’s eye twitched, and she fought the urge to drag her hands down her face. “Yuuji…”
“Maybe you could make her dinner—” he continued.
Megumi laid a hand on Yuuji’s shoulder and shook his head. “Maki’s not gonna go for anything like that.”
“Well, I’ll think of something! Don’t worry, Nobara. I’ve got this!”
Nobara laughed softly. “Yeah, whatever, Yuuji. I’m going to bed. You two have a good time. Kiss or something, I dunno.” She waved over her shoulder as she walked back to her room.
At exactly 2:37 a.m., Nobara blearily woke up to the fire alarm going off, and shrill shouting in the hallway.
“The fuck…?” She fumbled for her phone, but no one had sent any messages explaining what was going on. She had half a mind to go back to sleep, because she highly doubted anything was actually one fire, but curiosity got the better of her, and she rolled out of bed with her comforter wrapped around her shoulders, and shuffled out into the hallway.
“What the fuck were you jackasses thinking!?” Maki snarled as she grabbed Yuuji by the t-shirt and shook him so violently Nobara heard his teeth clack together. “My shit is soaked!”
Nobara frowned, and realized Maki herself was soaked. Her pajamas were dripping wet, and her hair was plastered to her face and neck.
Oh my god…
“Did you idiots set off the sprinklers!?” Nobara demanded.
“Only in my fucking room!” Maki shouted. “Gojo showed up and switched it off before anything got ruined but my entire fucking room is wet!”
Yuuji wrenched himself out of Maki’s hold to hide behind Megumi. “It was an accident, Maki! I swear!”
Megumi sighed and hung his head. “It was. He was just being stupid and bumped the sprinkler activation outside your door.”
“Why were you even outside my door!?”
“Uh…” Yuuji peaked over Megumi’s shoulder. “We were just going for a walk?”
“In the middle of the night in the dorms!?”
“Listen, it’s not a big deal,” Megumi assured her. “Like you said, nothing got ruined, and we’ll help clean it up in the morning. Why don’t you just stay with Nobara tonight or something?”
Nobara’s mouth fell open as it all slotted into place, and she swore she was going to kill Yuuji in the morning.
After she used this dumbass excuse for a sleepover with Maki.
“Yeah, you can stay in my room,” she said. “My bed’s really comfy, and you can borrow some of my PJs.”
Maki took a deep, calming breath. “You know what? Whatever. Fine. I’ll skin you both in the morning. I’m tired, and woke up to freezing fucking water pouring on top of me.” She twisted on her heel and marched towards Nobara. “But if this is what you two are gonna be like because you started dating, you’re breaking up!”
“Aw, come on…” Yuuji whined.
Megumi whacked the back of his head. “Your idea, you’re the one to blame.”
“You better be talking about your supposed walk and nothing else,” Maki hissed as she peeled her top off so she was just in her sports bra.
Don’t stare, don’t stare. God, why the fuck are you staring!?
“Yep, yep! Walk and nothing else! Come on, Megumi!” Yuuji grabbed the other boy’s hand and yanked him down the hallway. “Let’s go thank Gojo for turning the alarms off and then go to bed.”
Megumi grumbled something about him being an idiot, but followed after him.
“Sorry about this,” Maki said as her shoulders slumped. “Did I wake you up?”
“I think it was more the fire alarms…” Nobara said as she did her best to pry her eyes away from Maki’s abs. “Uh… Sorry about them. They can be stupid sometimes.”
“Oh I fucking know. I’m not buying that walk bullshit, and I don’t wanna know what they were actually doing.” She shook her head, and reached up to wring out her hair, leaving water to drip on the hallway floor. “You have a towel I can borrow?”
“Yeah.” Nobara opened up the door to her dorm and gestured for Maki to head inside. “At least we don’t have class tomorrow, so we can sleep in.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Maki stripped down to her boxers next, leaving her soaked pajamas in a heap on the floor. “I’ll just sleep like this, if that’s cool with you?”
“Uh… Mmhm! Y-Yep!” Nobara squeaked. “Do whatever you want!” God, it was a good thing the only light was from the moonlight filtering in from the window, because she could feel the heat on her cheeks.
Nobara found a towel and handed it to Maki, watching as she toweled her hair and body dry, before dropping it with her wet clothes.
“Do you want the wall, or the outside?” Nobara forced herself to ask, still not quite believing this was happening.
“Wall,” Maki decided, before crawling into Nobara’s bed and making herself right at home. “Damn, why have you got so many pillows?”
“I like pillows…” Nobara climbed in next to her. “It’s comfy.”
“Yeah, guess it is.” Maki nestled herself beneath the blankets, laying on her side. “Come on, lay down.”
With little else to do, Nobara flopped down next to her, and had to clench her teeth to keep from squeaking as Maki tugged her closer and nestled her against her to be the little spoon.
“Night, Nobara…” Maki muttered as she draped her arm over Nobara’s waist.
Nobara couldn’t hide her giddy smile. “Goodnight, Maki.”
Maybe… just maybe… Yuuji wasn’t as much of a dumbass as she thought.
Maybe.