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Between 02:37:04 and 02:37:07 GMT, no professional sportsball, slidepuck or runcircle were played yesterday. Amateur contests in all disciplines, many of them confirming scrupulously to the appropriate regulations continued, but lacking the official approval of a privileged few, these contests really can not be said to count as sport.
A series of freak accidents, unpredictable art projects and diversity and inclusion seminars delayed firstkick at the Oilslick On A Frozen Lake Symbolising The Distructive Nature Of Man, while Deterministic Cricket matches ended early when the losing side succumbed at The Futility of All Striving.
The last time no sport was played was 4 Jan 1960, when the sporting unions declared a day of mourning.