Chapter Text
It's not that Maggie could had easily avoided seeing her face. The face of the woman who had her heart broken into tiny little pieces when she had left her for the safest option, marrying the guy who would've helped her to paint the perfect picture of America's mom.
Getting out in the city was a torture. Everywhere she turned there was a big billboard with the new star of The Morning Show staring back at her with the fakest smile she had ever seen. Before her world fell apart, Maggie had been lucky enough to witness the beautiful sound of her laugh, to see her real smile― she had been often the reason for it. The one in those pictures simply was not it.
Staying at home wasn't a better option, the TV was off limits at breakfast time. She had even considered getting rid of it at some point, because the temptation to hear her voice just one last time was strong, but even the idea of doing it hurt her even more.
She started ditching one event after the other because she knew Alex would've been there, with a shiny ring on her finger and her brand new husband by her side and she couldn't handle it, not when she was still picking up the pieces of her broken heart.
She reached a point at which staying in NYC like that would've ended her career and she decided it was best to move back to Los Angeles, where she grew up. She had already made a name of herself, it wasn't going to be hard to find a brand new start for an awarded journalist like she was― at least, professionally speaking. She was going to need a much bigger effort to sort out every other aspect of her life.
.
Alex blamed the pregnancy hormones when Jason found her inconsolably crying one evening. He seemed to believe her without further questioning about it. It was actually the news of her former lover moving to the other coast that got her in that state. She found out when it was too late for her to do something about it.
Not that she could had left Jason.
Not that Maggie would had ever picked up any of her phone calls either way.
But knowing that they still lived in the same city was the one thing that kept Alex going, the tiniest bit of hope of meeting her by chance in the street. She held onto the idea of seeing again those beautiful dark eyes who used to look at her like she was the most precious being on the planet. Giving one last glance at the woman she still felt so deeply for and yet she had to let her go for the sake of both of them. At least that was what she told herself when she left her.
She understood the reasons why Maggie left New York, she would've done the same, but she still wished she hadn't done it. It was selfish, considering that she was the one who broke their relationship. But it still hurt for her to step away from the woman she loved the most and she knew she was going to love forever.
.
They hadn't seen each other in almost twenty years when their paths crossed again. Alex was leaving the UBA studios after another hell of a morning, when the sight of flowing chocolate brown hair caught her attention. Alex would had recognised her everywhere.
“ Maggie?! ” it came out louder than she intended it to be. She instantly checked around them to spot if anyone noticed her almost screaming. It seemed like everyone was too busy to pay attention to the train of her life suddenly being derailed into memory lane.
“ Alexandra. ” Maggie nodded, her voice colder than whatever Alex she was expecting to hear. Nevertheless, her full name coming out of those lips that used to be hers gave her a tingle.
“ You’re so… ” the blonde looked at the woman in front of her, she stared at her like she was trying to take a picture with her mind to hold it forever in case she was never going to meet her again. She was even more beautiful than she remembered her. Maggie was truly glowing, “ different now. ”
Her skin tanned by the Californian sun, those freckles she used to kiss every night before she fell asleep on her chest were popping out from her slightly open shirt, her hair was styled very differently from what Alex was used to, it was longer but it suited her very well. She shouldn't had been surprised. The last time she laid eyes on her was 20 years before. Eyes filled with tears - on both sides - when she left her for good.
“ And you haven’t changed at all. ” commented Maggie, letting out a little laugh. It was impossible to miss the bitterness in her voice.
Alex's gaze went down to her feet. She had imagined this moment so many times over the years, she had spent every single day, stuck in a marriage that was rotten from the start, dreaming about the life she could had if she had been brave enough to choose the woman she had never stopped loving instead of picking the safest option that didn't benefit her as much as she expected it to do. With her world falling apart, her career mined by the sex scandal involving her co-anchor, her husband more determined to finalise their divorce publicly, her daughter giving her the silent treatment, Alex never felt more lonely, and the sight of Maggie felt like a sign, her last brink of hope.
“ You are... ” Alex had so many things that were left unsaid.
I missed you.
I should've never left you.
I still love you.
But not a single one of them felt right. The words died in her throat. And before everything else she needed to know that she wasn't hallucinating, the events of the past 48 hours drained all the energy she had left in her and she still had a long night to face. She was exhausted to the point that she started questioning herself.
“ Real.” it came out from her lips almost as a whisper when she extended her finger to brush Maggie's cheek, afraid that the moment her hand would've met her skin she would disappear in front of her eyes.
.
“ Not here. ” Maggie brushed her off. It came out a bit too harsh, more than she intended it to be, as she took Alex's hand that was still resting on her cheek, barely touching her. The moment she felt the palm on her skin she was hit by the sudden realisation of what was happening. The feelings she worked so hard to forget during the past two decades come back to her like they never left. She went back to NYC thinking she would've been strong enough to handle it. She understood she had to fight harder than she expected.
Not ready to let Alex's hand go, she closed the grip on her and led her to a quiet corner, away from potentially curious eyes. After spending twenty years apart, she felt like they deserved some sort of privacy, even if it was just for a few stolen minutes out of America's Sweetheart's busy schedule.
“ So... ” Alex's voice came out timidly, she seemed almost afraid to ask her question “ You're back? ”
Maggie raised her eyebrows, surprised to see her so insecure, so small. If times were different she wouldn't had second guessed the idea of holding her in her arms at that instant. But those feelings belonged to another era. She had to constantly remind herself that they weren't those people anymore.
“ Just for the night. ” she tried to be vague, holding Alex's gaze as she spotted something in her eyes the moment those words left her mouth. She couldn't name it but something switched. Was it disappointment? Not the reaction she expected from the women who seemed to have gained everything she wanted in life. Maybe she didn't know Alex as much as she claimed to. Maybe there was some new pieces of the puzzle that was missing to understand the full picture.
“ They asked me to present an award and... ” Maggie glared down at their fingers still wrapped around each other, neither of them let the hold go. It felt like a reminisce of the past. “ I know I couldn't refuse. ”
“ Oh. ” Alex was frowning. A pair of blue eyes went through a journey and Maggie witnessed her elaborating the information she had just shared until they lightened up with the sudden realisation of what those words actually meant. “ Oh! ”
“ Yes. ” Maggie couldn't help but smirk. “ I guess congratulations are in order. ”
“ Thank you. I― ” it seemed like Alex was looking - again - for something else to say, but the words died on her lips “ Fuck... I have to... ” as soon as she let go of Maggie's hand, the older woman missed the heat, the familiarity, of their intertwined fingers. “ I have to go get ready. ”
“ I guess I'll see you tonight. ” Maggie waved at her with a wink before leaving her speechless on the spot.