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“...And now, we must part.”
The last words I could utter are the same ones he told me as his life was coming to a close: “It… will be alright…”
The relentless effort of my friends in the struggle of defying fate is in vain. I slump further into the blue leather cushion of the chair, my eyes sealing shut in obligation to my impending demise.
Is this how it was for him?
I spend a moment in darkness under the cumbersome weight of the impossible fatigue.
Until it lifted in one mighty scoop.
My eyelids flutter open to reveal the room opening to a blinding but enticing white light. The room is deserted. Nothing stands between me and the beyond.
I understand now. That’s why my body is automating itself to the light.
Plunging into the essence of nothing, the light subsides to the nebulous field. The same field that he now resides in — protecting all of humanity from its self-destruction.
For the first time since before I came to comprehend my emotions… I no longer have desire… a total state of enlightenment. I feel at peace.
“We meet again.”
…!
I whip my head behind me. Sure enough, just like what happened only a few hours ago, he stands there - just a bit ahead. But unlike what happened then, he remains even after blinking.
He’s really there. My precious person.
“Makoto-san!” Sparing no time, I press myself against his warm body as my tears dampen his shirt. “I-I thought I’d never s-see you again…!”
We share a comfortable silence only broken by my choking sobs and shaky breaths. I’d been so deprived this past month… this moment feels so surreal.
“Have you found it? The answer, I mean.”
“Yes,” I turn up to gaze into his grey seas framed in his eyes. “that’s why I’m here, right? I found the answer, just like you.”
His distant face sends a wave of fear crashing onto me. “...That’s not why you’re here.”
Not why I’m… here?
“Then… why am I here?”
He runs a hand into my hair, scooping up the accumulated stress from my mind. “I wanted to give us the opportunity to say goodbye.
“You’ve done well Aigis. You’ve prevailed against your negative emotions. But that doesn’t undo my death, nor does it relegate you into this endless sea.”
“But…”
He cups my left cheek in reassurance.. “You found the answer to life’s greatest question. What is it?”
I compose myself as best as I can. “We… We create our own meaning for living. B-But without you, I–”
“You still have a reason for living, Aigis. The friends you and I cherish so fondly… I wish I could protect them. But I can’t, just as you can’t protect me or forever be by my side.
“But you can.”
I let out a gasp.
How silly I am… I can still keep my promise by honouring his will. To protect the friends he and I care so much for — the friends that showed us the joy in living and just how precious that gift is.
“Can you hear them?” In the background, voices blend in a mutual message. “They’re calling for you, Aigis. They need you.”
I close my eyes and grin. “Haha, I see now. In the death of my original purpose, another is born from its ashes.”
My knees buckle in response to this epiphany. An insurmountable force of fatigue presses down on me.
“I feel… tired… Makoto-san…”
He sits himself next to me on the floor, hoisting my head onto his lap.
Makoto tugs at my ribbon and unravels it. He rests a thumb on the hatch to my Papillon Heart.
“I never told anyone this,” He opens the hatch, careful not to touch my heart, “but ten years ago on that day, I found these two fragments lying next to me.”
In his free hand are two feather-like crystals that appear to fit in a butterfly shape. “Those are…”
“Plumes of dusk. Fragments of Nyx, as I understand them. I’ve held onto these ever since you sealed Death in me.
“As you know, these two plumes can be combined to make a Papillon Heart. Having held onto these for so long… I want you to have them.”
I give him a weak smile and finish his sentence.. “...So then we can be together. Always.”
Even if it isn’t truly him… indelible proof, such as this, is empowering.
He connects the two into their final shape. “May I?”
“Of course.”
Makoto fits this Papillon Heart in the available space — perpendicular to my heart. Just like when he touched my heart, I jitter and squeak.
But not even that rejuvenates me. I don’t belong in this world yet. Makoto-san helped me see this.
“You must be tired,” he says, “please, get some rest. I’ll stay right here with you.”
The voices grow louder and clearer, but my senses in this realm deafen to infinity.
“Soon, all your friends will be by your side.”
At last, I let go.
————
Eyes shut, I stir in my seat as I groggily scramble to get my bearings. I’m overwhelmed by this hazy sensation, as if there’s fog brewing through my head. Only now do I realise how I took it for granted when I first became human.
After rubbing my eyes, I can see that all my friends are gathered around in my room, heads hung low.
“...Did you call me?”
“Aigis!” exclaims Junpei.
I dart my eyes between everyone. The room is silent, but their faces show anticipation on the cusp of relief instead of dread laced with despair.
“Uhm… Has something happened?” I ask gingerly.
“Geez! You had us worried sick, sleepyhead!” Yukari reprimands, but with an undertone of relief. “You took so long to wake up that we thought you might’ve died…”
Fuuka furrows her eyebrows and says to no one in particular: “But, her synaptic circuits burnt out — they shouldn’t be receiving any power! It’s as if… as if she’s really alive.”
If only I’d realised sooner, perhaps I wouldn’t have worried everyone. I owe it to them to uphold my — and his — promise.
“I’m so sorry to have worried you all,” I say as I lift myself from the chair, “I was having a dream… the first one in some time. Memories of time I spent with everyone, and…”
My heart tingles merely thinking about it. But not just because of how fond and fulfilling it was, but because of who now lives inside with me. Though, it’s not quite a dream, is it? Not when I feel the pulsating heart beating in harmony with mine.
“Strength of heart, when united, is barred by no door…”
Everyone looks upon me with queer expressions, Yukari being the most confused.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Sorrowful partings only show us the weight of our relationships, but the joy of living comes from those who care about you.” I rest a hand on my throat where my two hearts lie. “I’m a very lucky person.
“It sounds quite improbable, but there’s more than one heart beating in my chest.”