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The bell from the coffee shop rang as a man entered the small establishment, followed by a warm “welcome” from the girl behind the counter cleaning the cups. It was a little past 7:30 on a Sunday morning, and the place would've been almost empty if it wasn’t for the woman in a white dress reading on the table further away from the entrance. The man sat at the table across from her, fixing his suit jacket as the waitress came to the table with a glass of water for him, and he nodded as a thank you.
Yunhyeong had turned fifty five years old not too long ago, and although as he aged his face had become more wrinkled, he remained as handsome and charming as he had been during his youth. He looked around the cafe nervously and cleared his throat, not really knowing how to approach the situation that had brought him to this particular place.
The waitress came to him ready to take his order, a simple caffè latte, and right as she was turning away to go prepare it for him, Yunhyeong gathered the courage to finally call out to her.
“Uh, excuse me,” he cleared his throat, making the waitress stop on her feet and look back at him. “Is this cafe…” Yunhyeong started hesitantly, but didn't really know how to ask ' is this cafe the one in which you can travel back in time?' without coming off as insane.
The girl tilted her head, waiting for him to continue, and he swallowed hard before wording it as best as he could. “Is it true? The legend surrounding this cafe?”
“Oh,” she replied, immediately understanding what he meant. “It is,” she said with a gentle smile, and walked back to the counter to prepare his order.
Even from behind the counter, she kept stealing glances at Yunhyeong as if trying to remember who he was, with little luck. Yunhyeong chuckled to himself when he noticed. The girl was probably trying to remember when he came to the cafe to have known about its peculiarity, but the first and last time Yunhyeong had been here was over thirty years ago. She probably hadn't even been born yet.
☕
To celebrate their first year anniversary as a couple, Yunhyeong and Donghyuk, both in their early twenties, had decided to leave the city for the weekend and have an escapade to a smaller town. The place they chose wasn't exactly the countryside, but the calm and quiet vibe of it was a nice break from the busy and overwhelming Seoul.
Less than a kilometer away from downtown was the town’s main charm, a beautiful traditional village full of establishments with tiled roofs and beige walls. It had obviously been modernized through the years, but it mostly maintained the warm feeling of going back in time.
As they were walking down the narrow alleys looking for little shops to buy souvenirs, sudden rain had come down on them, unexpected and without warning, making them run for cover under one of the roofs near the street. It was then when they realized there was a staircase right next to them, with an almost unnoticeable sign to a cafe downstairs. Trapped in the rain and with nothing else to do, they decided to go check it out.
The coffee shop they found themselves in was quite small, with no more than three tables and a couple seats in front of the counter. Behind it stood a tall and muscular man working out something with the espresso machine, and he gently nodded at them once they came in. On one of the tables, the one further away from the entrance, sat a woman in a white dress quietly reading.
They sat down and Donghyuk smiled when, without asking him first, Yunhyeong ordered an iced americano for the younger and a caffè latte for himself, and then turned back to face him.
"What if I had wanted to order something different?" Donghyuk joked, resting his head on one hand as he looked at Yunhyeong.
"Ok, what were you thinking of ordering then?"
Donghyuk replied only with a chuckle, and Yunhyeong reciprocated the smile. After years of friendship and one year of dating, he had come to know him almost as much as he knew himself.
They fell into a light hearted conversation about their little getaway, where else they wanted to visit, how they wished they had more time there before going back to their daily lives. Donghyuk's hand approached the one Yunhyeong rested on the table, fingers brushing delicately. They were more than used to each other's touch. But right as Donghyuk was moving to hold Yunhyeong's hand in his, Yunhyeong heard the steps of the barista coming towards them and abruptly moved his arm back. Donghyuk slowly retracted his fingers and thanked the tall man for their coffee with a faint smile.
As the conversation continued, they kept their voices low to match the quiet ambient of the cafe, the barista working in silence behind the counter and the woman reading with such stillness it was hard to remember she was there.
Donghyuk didn't try to reach for Yunhyeong's hand again, but the playful looks they shared accompanied by smiles behind their glasses and their knees and feet touching under the table remained for the rest of their stay there. Even when the rain stopped, they were so absorbed in this moment in time they didn't notice it was safe to go outside until several minutes later.
☕
That weekend had been too amazing for Yunhyeong to forget about it, no matter if thirty or a thousand years had passed. As he sat on the same spot many autumns later, this time by himself, he couldn't help but smile at the memories of what they had once been in their youth. So many stolen glances and little smiles only they knew the meaning of. All those kisses only the moon had witnessed, all those nights they got lost in each other without a single worry in this world.
"Excuse me if I'm being too intrusive…" the young barista carefully started from behind the counter, gaining Yunhyeong's attention. "Since you asked about what makes this cafe unique, I can't help but be curious." Yunhyeong gave her a faint smile and nodded, encouraging her to continue. She put the cup she had in her hands aside and gave her full attention to him. "It is true, what is said about this cafe. That you can go back in time. However it isn't as simple as it sounds so I must ask you beforehand if you are familiar with the rules."
The way Yunhyeong had come to know about the legend surrounding this cafe was a mere coincidence. For several years now, he had been the founder and editor-in-chief of a successful food magazine, and although he knew he had editors who were capable of handling the publication on their own he still liked to read and approve every article before it came out. When he started reading the file for a piece titled "Coffee Shops with Some of the Most Unique Backstories" , his stomach shrank when he recognized the small cafe in the photograph, its location matching with that of his memories, and as he continued reading the brief detail of what made this place unique, he couldn't help but instinctively reach for his chest as it started to feel tight.
About the rules, even though the article went over them, it didn't explain them in full detail and as much as he tried to find information online, not much came up.
As for the barista's question about whether he knew the rules, he replied "vaguely. Could you please explain them to me?"
Instead, he received a sort of questionnaire.
"Are you the one who wishes to go back in time?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Do you wish to meet someone there?"
Yunhyeong's breath hitched at the question.
"Yes."
"And do you wish to change the future?"
It took a little longer for him to reply to this one. The article did mention this, how even if this cafe allowed you to go back in time apparently it was impossible to change the future. Because of this, it wasn't in Yunhyeong's plan to try and change the entire path of his life, but he thought about her question.
"Do I wish to change the future… of course, I wish I could. But I know it's not possible."
The barista nodded, acknowledging his answer, and stood firm as she began to explain the rules. Yunhyeong paid close attention to each word coming out of her mouth.
- You can only travel back in time inside this cafe. If you stand up from your chair, you will immediately be brought back to the present.
- Because of that, you can only meet people who have been inside this cafe before.
- No matter what you do or what you say in the past, this will not change nor affect the present day.
- Once you go back, you must drink all your coffee before it gets cold. That's how long you can stay in the past.
Yunhyeong almost felt as if he should've been writing all of this down, and he grew nervous as the possibility of actually going back was starting to become more real. Even though he was eager to go back in time and see Donghyuk again… he started questioning whether coming here was a mistake.
What if he scared Donghyuk? What if it ended up ruining things even faster than Yunhyeong had already ruined them in the past? What if he froze once there, and missed the only chance he got?
His hands were trembling as he held onto his caffè latte, all these what if s clouding his sight. The barista must've noticed this, as she interrupted the silence once again.
"Excuse me," she started. "There is yet another important rule in order for you to travel to the past." He raised his head and his eyes were full of anxiety as he waited for her to continue. "That woman over there…" she glanced at the woman in the white dress reading on the table across from him, "the seat she's on is the only one that can let you travel to the past. But —and I know how this will sound— she can't be moved by any means, as she is the ghost of someone who went to the past but did not finish their coffee fast enough and it got cold. Now she is stuck in time."
"Then how…" Yunhyeong was about to ask, but was interrupted by her.
"She stands up twice a day to go to the bathroom, every single day at the exact same time. Ten in the morning and ten in the evening, that is." She chose her next words carefully. "You seem a little anxious… but you have a few hours to think about it. And if by then you're still unsure, you can always come back later," she reassured him, followed by a warm smile, and went inside the kitchen leaving Yunhyeong by himself.
His wristwatch read 8:13 am.
☕
If one saw Yunhyeong's life as an outsider, it would honestly seem like a pretty good and fulfilling one. Since his late twenties, he had managed to create a name for himself in the restaurant industry, owner of a couple of popular ones, and getting himself into different successful businesses adjacent to that. That's how the magazine came to be, and it had grown in popularity amongst gastronomy enthusiasts and critics. And in that aspect, they would be right. He loved his career.
When you started to dig deeper, nonetheless, you would see a man with a failed marriage he didn't truly fight to save. He had grown to cherish who had been his wife, and the daughter they had together was the biggest love of his life. But the increasing loneliness he had felt throughout his years of marriage had only become unbearable once his daughter had left for college abroad four years ago and he realized how empty his life truly felt.
During all those years, the memories of Donghyuk had become blurrier since the last time he saw him when Yunhyeong was around twenty seven and almost three years had passed since they had broken up. The first couple of years Donghyuk lingered in his mind, and he would sometimes see him in random faces on the street. But as time had gone by, he had married and his beautiful daughter had been born, his years with Donghyuk became intrusive thoughts every now and then that would bring a smile to his face, sometimes soft, sometimes bitter and sometimes regretful.
A few months after their little getaway in which they had found the coffee shop Yunhyeong was now sitting at, the subtle touches and shared stares that once had been so uniquely theirs became a point of contention between them as Donghyuk wanted more.
He wanted to love Yunhyeong freely, to let the world know about them. To let at least their world know. But Yunhyeong would always come up with another excuse. Maybe they could wait a few more weeks to tell their friends. Maybe Yunhyeong's family wasn't ready to hear it, his grandparents were too old to understand. Or maybe Yunhyeong was simply a coward, and his fear was greater than the love he felt for Donghyuk.
Donghyuk had been understanding at first, sharing some of the same concerns, but as he tried to come up with solutions Yunhyeong kept disregarding, he had grown frustrated. And when a chance for Donghyuk to move to the States presented itself and he had asked Yunhyeong whether he would be willing to come with him, yet more excuses came that ultimately ended up breaking them up and making them grow apart.
In the following years Yunhyeong tried to blame it on how young they were, barely 21 and 23 at the time, and convinced himself even if he had been brave and he had tried harder they would end up breaking up anyways. And yet sometimes other scenarios came to his mind in which they were now both in their mid-fifties, walking down Central Park holding hands.
But by now Yunhyeong didn't even know if Donghyuk had stayed in New York, where he originally moved to. The way his heart ached whenever he thought of finding out what Donghyuk was up to was greater than whatever curiosity he might've felt.
And then after his divorce a few years back, moving by himself again after almost twenty years, the love of his youth found itself invading his mind once again, and although thirty years had passed the memories would become clear again. Or maybe they were still just as blurry and he was just making them up in his head.
The memory of that weekend, however, of that one he was sure. And even now, sometimes he would find himself hugging his pillow to sleep to reminisce the way Donghyuk had felt in his arms that night in the room they had rented.
☕️
"Excuse me," the barista called again, and Yunhyeong jumped in his seat. He had gotten so lost in his own head he had forgotten where he was and how much time had passed. "It's five to 10 am."
He checked his wristwatch to confirm whether she was right and she indeed was. His heart started beating faster as the possibility of seeing Donghyuk again approached, and his breathing synced with the rhythm in his chest.
"It's okay," the girl kindly reassured him. "It's going to be okay," she repeated with a smile. "Would you like me to prepare the coffee for you? She should be standing up in a matter of minutes."
Yunhyeong only nodded, a bit hesitant, and sat there anxiously staring at the woman in the white dress. With a minute left, the barista came out of the kitchen with a different cup from the ones that were on display at the counter, carrying that and a matching coffee pot on a silver plate. She stood there for a moment, waiting.
As soon as his watch showed 10 am on its digital screen, the woman in the white dress closed her book, put it aside and stood up quietly, heading towards the bathroom. The barista signaled with her head and moved towards the table, letting him know it was time.
Yunhyeong moved there, and sat straight as the girl set up the table in front of him. Before pouring the coffee, she reminded him of the rules.
"Please don't stand up from your seat as you will be abruptly brought back to the present. Keep in mind nothing you do or say will affect the future of that event. And most importantly, remember to finish your coffee before it gets cold."
He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and nodded, letting her know he was ready.
"Please focus on the moment you want to go back to," she told him, and started gracefully pouring the coffee into the cup in front of him.
Yunhyeong had no time to think whether this was a scam, a joke or whether this had been a mistake at all. As soon as she finished and took a step back, the room around him started becoming foggy and he concentrated as hard as he could on that moment in time he could remember so well.
After a few seconds, disoriented, he found himself sitting on the same spot he had been seconds ago. The establishment remained the exact same, but the young barista was no longer next to him and there was a tall man behind the counter instead. And to his left —he had already seen it, since the place was so small, but was nervous to fully let it sink in— a couple of young men stood from their table, gathering their stuff ready to leave.
Yunhyeong let out a soft gasp when he saw Donghyuk and his own younger self get up, and tears soon formed in the corners of his eyes without him being able to avoid it.
The smile in his young face without any reason other than being next to Donghyuk, the endearing way in which he looked at him. For a moment, the Yunhyeong sitting there watching the scene unfold felt as if he was intruding in a private moment that was supposed to be between those two young men only. And he almost laughed about how scared he had been at that time to be discovered, when you could tell it all just by the way he looked at Donghyuk.
His recollection of events seemed to be accurate, since the moment they stood up and walked towards the counter to pay, young Yunhyeong's phone began ringing.
"Ah! That's my grandma," he said, checking the screen. "Can you pay while I pick up?" he asked the man beside him.
"Go ahead," he replied with a smile, and soon the only people in the cafe were Yunhyeong, the barista, and Donghyuk.
Donghyuk.
He was still as beautiful as the day they parted ways.
Having him standing in front of him once again almost brings Yunhyeong back to tears, but he fought them back. If he wanted to talk to him, he couldn't be seen crying. He wondered if Donghyuk would recognize him, and hoped he had aged enough for this not to be the case as he didn't want to freak him out.
Yunhyeong watched Donghyuk pay, as kind as ever to the tall barista behind the counter, and every single detail of his was just as Yunhyeong remembered it to be. The dimples that formed when he smiled at the other man, his sweet voice as he thanked him for the coffee. All his moles still on the same spots Yunhyeong recalled kissing time and time again back then.
Right as Donghyuk finished paying, the barista locked eyes with Yunhyeong and he assumed he immediately understood the situation, giving Yunhyeong a small nod and excusing himself from Donghyuk to go inside the kitchen, leaving both of them alone.
A rush of panic came onto Yunhyeong, words stuck in his throat as he saw Donghyuk putting his card back in his wallet and turning around to leave. He hadn't really prepared anything to say, didn't have any letter to give. He just wanted to see Donghyuk one last time, but the coffee was still hot enough and it would be a waste of time if he just let him go now.
"The other young man you were with," Yunhyeong started, catching Donghyuk's attention. He turned around, surprised at the older man he hadn't even noticed was there suddenly talking to him. "He seems to like you a lot."
As collected as he looked on the outside, Yunhyeong wasn't sure how words were even coming out of his mouth. He finally took a sip of coffee as Donghyuk stared at him in surprise for a few moments, growing noticeably uncomfortable and not really knowing what to say.
"Him?" he asked, pointing at the stairs that took to the street. "Oh no, it's not like that…"
Hearing Donghyuk's voice directed at him after almost thirty years felt like it was filling a hole Yunhyeong had become numb to, and was finally realizing he had.
"It's quite obvious," Yunhyeong calmly said with a smile. "For me at least, it is."
Donghyuk seemed to understand what Yunhyeong meant, ' it's obvious for me because I've felt the same way ', and Yunhyeong was glad he apparently hadn't recognized him. And even if he had seen any resemblance between the young man he was spending the weekend with and this middle-aged man a few meters away from him, Donghyuk didn't know about the cafe's uniqueness so the possibility probably wouldn't even cross his mind.
Donghyuk looked at the kitchen, making sure the barista wasn't coming out just yet, and chuckled softly.
"Well yes, I guess it is quite obvious, right?" He appeared almost embarrassed, and yet somehow relieved such words were said out loud.
Yunhyeong took another sip of his coffee, and asked a question he more than knew the answer to. "I apologize if I'm overstepping here but… you guys are trying to hide it, aren't you?"
Donghyuk let out a bitter smile and looked down. "It's complicated."
"I'm sure it is," like hell he knew. Donghyuk didn't move from his spot, and Yunhyeong took the chance. "Would you mind if I give you some words of advice, as someone who might understand?"
A bit hesitant, Donghyuk nodded. His stare was quite different from the one he was directing at young Yunhyeong some minutes ago, understandably so as the man sitting at the table was no more than a stranger, but having Donghyuk's attention all for himself once again made him wish that rule about not being able to change the future was a lie.
"I don't exactly know what your situation might be, so I don't know if you might relate" Yunhyeong carefully chose his words, trying to sound like someone who really didn't know them at all. "But I…" he swallowed thickly, and took another quick sip of his coffee. It was still hot enough, but less hot than a couple of minutes ago. "I had a person I cared about, many years ago. This person was like a ray of sunshine in my life, and I adored them to pieces when they were in it. I looked at them the same way he looked at you, that I can recognize." Donghyuk was carefully paying attention, a sympathetic look on his face. "But you know, I was young and scared back then. I made many mistakes because of that, and although those mistakes eventually brought things to my life I wouldn't change for anything in the world," Yunhyeong thought of his daughter, "... it also brought a lot of regrets I carry with me up until this day, you know? To the point it makes me wish I could go back in time and change many things, even though I know that's impossible," he laughed. "But the mistakes I made, all the poor decisions… I never blamed them on this other person. It was complicated for us as well, but they tried, and I was the one who couldn't keep up."
Donghyuk didn't really know how to reply, and just kept paying close attention to the man in front of him. Yunhyeong could see he was fidgeting with his rings, something he would use to do when he was nervous.
"So my advice as someone who has lived longer than you is… well, I don't know if advice is the right word. I guess the point I want to get across is that I wish you both are not like I was with this person, and that whatever mistakes either of you might make you will be able to sort them out. But if that's not the case… I hope you don't feel like it's your fault or that you were not trying hard enough. If the other person lives with regrets, at least you can know you really did try."
Yunhyeong took another sip of his coffee trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to come out. Guessing by the temperature, he had no more than five minutes left. Donghyuk stood still on the same spot, a puzzled look on his face, and after a few seconds he finally spoke.
"This person… Did you tell them all of this?" he carefully asked.
"I never truly got the chance," Yunhyeong replied. "So this was almost thirty years ago, right? You're probably younger than that. And I haven't heard about them ever since. Eventually I just hoped they would understand how I felt even though they have no real reason to. But if I did have the chance to tell them all this, I would also like to tell them that I hope they've lived without regrets, that I hope the years after me were better than the ones with me ever were, and that I hope they've had a happy life. And I would also selfishly hope they forgave me for the pain I caused."
Yunhyeong could see a shining tear trying to fall down Donghyuk's face, but he quickly brushed it off trying not to make it noticeable. Yunhyeong, however, hadn't noticed the subtle way his voice broke as he finally indirectly told Donghyuk, in a weird kind of way, the things that had been tormenting his mind all these years. And he only realized he had teared up himself when Donghyuk approached him and handed him a handkerchief he kept in his pocket.
"Oh god, I'm sorry," he said with a laugh, touching his face and feeling it wet. "I didn't even notice. But I'm okay, I'm sorry for wasting your time. Please go back with him and enjoy your weekend."
"It's okay, you can keep this," Donghyuk told him, placing the handkerchief on the table. "And… thank you, sir. I will think about your words. And I hope… I hope you can tell them to this person too, one day," he said with a sad smile.
"Thank you for listening," Yunhyeong replied, and with a respectful nod Donghyuk excused himself and disappeared through the stairs.
Yunhyeong took the handkerchief and without much hesitation finished the rest of the coffee in one sip, there was nothing else for him to do in the past.
The fogginess came back and soon enough he found himself once again on the exact same spot, the young girl barista attentively looking at him.
He looked back at her, then at the handkerchief in his hands. And without really caring she was there staring at him, for the first time in many years Yunhyeong truly sobbed for the love he had lost.
