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“So…so, uh, I reckon what makes Ed happy is you.”
Edward looked over at Stede, willing him to give Edward one of those ridiculous adorable smiles that Edward would have done anything for. Then, Edward couldn’t wait for one of those smiles, he had to kiss him right now and he did. Awkwardly. Pretty badly. No finesse. Best moment of Edward’s life.
Edward simply didn’t really know how to kiss someone like Stede, someone lovely and sweet and who smelled good. No one ever kissed Edward softly, so he never kissed anyone softly either. But Stede…fuck, Edward thought about how Stede would kiss him way more than was appropriate for anyone other than a 12-year old girl.
Stede was perfect and sweet and possibly Edward’s (Edward wondered how he pulled that off) and Edward refused to remove his hand from Stede’s back as he talked him into running away together.
As he ran around the camp happily scheming for their escape, Edward could not stop smiling. It really scared the poor bloke that he mugged for the dinghy. Surprisingly, deliriously smiling actually scared people more than knives or teeth or growling. Go figure.
Edward headed toward the dinghy with a sack of provisions, humming an old sea love song under his breath. He stopped. Stede’s voice echoed in the forest, fear-stricken. Edward started running towards him.
When Edward saw that admiral piece of shit threatening Stede with a gun, and even worse, hurting his feelings, he did not hesitate. He stepped right into action, swinging the bag hard at the back of the admiral’s head. The admiral fell, his gun firing as soon as it hit the ground. The bullet went, ironically, straight through his eye. Edward kicked him in the balls to make sure he was dead, and then went over to Stede, who had fortunately stopped screaming.
Edward dropped the bag and hesitatingly pulled Stede into a hug. Stede was stiff and shivering against him, so Edward awkwardly patted his hair and started murmuring, “shh, shh it’s alright then, I’ve got you, don’t worry.”
Stede struggled and pushed Edward away, his chest heaving. “He’s right!” Stede cried. “I am a monster. Just look at what I’ve done to you! You shouldn’t be stuck here on this island, planning to run away with me!”
Mildly confused, Edward stepped forward and grasped Stede’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, none of that nonsense,” he said. “I told you that you make me happy. That’s what you’ve done to me, you idiot. You made me happy and content and fucking hell, a better person.”
Edward grasped Stede’s hand as tenderly as he could. “Don’t listen to him. He’s a piece of shit, and also, dead.”
Stede started hyperventilating again. “Okay, okay, maybe not the best thing to point out but hey, you didn’t kill him or anything! Technically, it was an accident, but if you wanna blame anyone, it would be me!”
Edward sighed and pulled Stede into another hug. He rested his chin on that infuriatingly pretty blonde head, and rubbed soothing circles on Stede’s back.
“Look,” Edward said softly into Stede’s hair. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best man I’ve met, and you make me so fucking happy it’s fucking embarasssing.”
Edward pulled back to look Stede in his eyes. “Do you understand?”
Stede looked searchingly into Edward’s eyes and sniffled. “Oh, Ed,” he murmured. “I-I suppose so.”
Edward growled and shook him. “Don’t suppose! Understand!”
Stede froze and looked terrified for a moment before finding something in Edward’s face that made him relax. He softened around the edges and reached out to grab Edward’s hands and hold them close to his chest.
“I do understand,” he said, smiling tearfully. “Because you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, too.”
Edward was the one who froze this time, before he grabbed Stede and held him tightly, stooping over a little to bury his face in Stede’s stupidly soft neck. After a few moments, when Edward was fairly certain he wouldn’t a) start wailing like a fucking baby, b) push Stede up against a tree and snog him til sunrise or c) freak out and kill himself to stop the feelings, Edward stepped back.
He grabbed the bag of provisions and gruffly said, “Alright then, let’s head to China, eh?”
Stede smiled fondly at him as he blinked back his own tears, and reached out to grab Edward’s hand. They walked towards the dock, Edward pointing out all the bushes and logs and whatnot so Stede wouldn’t trip on them. Although, if Stede tripped, Edward could maybe grab him all romantic-like. Edward stopped pointing out the treacherous forest floor, but unfortunately, Stede managed to make it to the boat without incident.
Once they were settled into the boat and had started rowing, Stede turned to Edward.
“I forgot to ask earlier,” he said inquiringly, “but what was in the bag that you hit him with?”
Edward shrugged and mumbled, “Provisions.”
“Provisions?” Stede exclaimed. “What kind of provisions? Bread? Wouldn’t bread be crushed? And it looked heavy! After all, it did, well, you know…knock him down.”
Edward looked down and muttered, “Potatoes.”
“Potatoes? Raw potatoes?” Stede asked, surprised. “How are we going to eat potatoes on this dinghy?”
Edward scoffed and said, “By chewing them, obviously.” Stede gave him a look.
“Alright, alright,” Edward said, slightly embarrassed. “I noticed before all the shit went down that we were running a bit low so I figured, you know, it’s as good a time as any to get some potatoes, I mean just look what happened when we ran out of oranges and plus it shouldn’t take us that long to catch up with them and you can technically eat them raw so-”
Edward stopped his rambling when he noticed Stede’s terribly fond look. “You know,” Stede said teasingly. “That’s almost frightfully domestic.”
Edward scoffed and blushed and shrugged until Stede reached over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, almost falling out of the dinghy in the process. Embarrassed, Stede sat back down. He looked over at Edward, who was focusing very hard on stopping blushing, and smiled contentedly.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, the only sound being the creak of the oars and splashing of the water. Edward reflected on a lesser-known major aspect of pirating, which is time spent on dinghies. Most of the time, you’ve got a couple other smelly pirates with you, and everyone’s hot and thirsty and uncomfortable and usually, afraid of sharks. Sometimes you’re by yourself and the distance seems twice as far and sometimes you wonder if your crew has pulled up anchor and left you behind. Often, you are extra scared of sharks.
But with Stede? Edward fucking loves dinghies. They’re his new favorite place, actually. A small little boat, with the only person Edward wants to be around, and the sea stretching out for miles all around you? What could be better?
Nothing, Edward thought happily. Nothing could be better than this.