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PANCAKE DIPLOMACY
“Welcome back.”
Daniel watches for a moment while Jack walks away and then turns back to the now quiet Stargate. He’d told Jonas his memory was coming back—and it is—mostly in fits and spurts, random sequences out of context, careening around inside his head until they settle in the right spot. He smiles to himself. At least he hopes they settle in the right spot. Putting his hands in his pockets, Daniel wanders out of the gate room. He has several hours until dinner and he decides to put them to good use.
When it comes to moving his belongings out of storage, Sergeant Siler is exceptionally helpful and before Daniel knows it, he’s surrounded by boxes in his old office. Jonas’ fish swim peacefully in their tank; his journals rest neatly on one of the empty shelves. But he ignores those for now and picks up one of the smaller boxes and sets it on the desk—right next to the fruit basket. Plucking off a couple of grapes, Daniel eats them and opens the box. He isn’t sure what he expects to find, he’s become an archaeologist for his own past and it’s a mildly unsettling sensation.
The box is a hodge-podge of items, most of which he recognizes as having come from his desk drawers. Pencils, erasers, paper clips and binder clips all mostly in place in a plastic tray; his rolodex, two ceramic coffee mugs, a tin of mints, scraps and bits of paper float amongst the various bits and pieces. Daniel lifts out the plastic tray and neatly transfers it into the empty top drawer of the desk, the two coffee mugs are set aside, along with several empty notebooks and folders that don’t hold anything more interesting than various articles he must have kept for future reference.
And tucked down in the bottom of the box is a plain white envelope. Daniel picks it up, frowning at the word written on the front, Enkara is all it says and he’s pretty sure it’s in his handwriting, but it means nothing to him. The flap is partially folded over what are obviously four by six photos and he slowly opens it; there are actually six all together and Daniel slowly looks through them. In spite of his spotty memory, he knows without a doubt they were taken off world; he doesn’t recognize any of the people, they’re not obviously alien, their rustic clothing could be from some rural area on Earth, but their unnaturally light colored eyes are definitely not of Earth. Several of the photos are shots of some sort of outdoor celebration or banquet and Daniel recognizes Teal’c in several of them, the large Jaffa standing out amongst the more slightly built aliens.
Making a mental note to ask Teal’c about the photos, Daniel reaches the last one and instead of another view of the banquet, it’s a picture of two people he recognizes immediately. Slowly sinking down into the desk chair, the whispers and hazy shadows of memories tease him as he studies the picture. It’s a candid shot and the vague impression he gets of camcorders and digital cameras tell Daniel that he must’ve taken the photo.
There are only two people framed in the photo; Jack is half-sitting, half-reclining at the low banquet table; Sam sits at his side, leaning towards him with one hand touching his arm. Jack looks happy and relaxed, an indulgent look on his face and he’s smiling, but not at the camera, Daniel isn’t sure how he knows, but his gut tells him that the smile on his friend’s normally taciturn face is solely for the woman at his side. The look of pleasure and maybe almost adoration on Sam’s smiling face makes him wonder how he ever thought that he and Sam could have been involved. She clearly only has eyes for Jack and even though Daniel’s not sure he can totally rely on his memory yet, he’s positive that Jack feels the same way. Daniel sits back in the chair, the creak it makes as his weight shifts comforting and familiar. He wonders why he hasn’t gotten this strong sense of togetherness from the two of them before now when he remembers.
The memories slam through his brain, ricocheting madly—rules and regulations fighting for dominance over love and desire, passions revealed and repressed in the blink of an eye—and all for a higher cause. Daniel tosses the picture down on the desk. Having just returned from a higher cause, he’s not sure he agrees with blindly following the rules. Daniel chuckles, he suspects that kind of thinking is what prompted his sudden appearance, naked and amnesiac, in the middle of a field. He thinks that before he would have agreed with that kind of philosophy, but he’s not so sure now, not with the memories of his wife so newly fresh in his returning memory.
He’d never have those memories if he hadn’t broken a few rules and even knowing now how his life with Shau’re would eventually play out, he’d make the same choices all over again because a love like that is worth the risk. Picking up the picture again, he sees two people who belong together and decides that this time he’s not going to play it so safe. An unexpected sense of calm fills Daniel, until he glances at the clock. “Crap,” he mutters, when he sees the time. “I’m going to be late.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re late.” Jack’s abrupt greeting is tempered by a smile and the cold beer he pulls out of the ice chest resting on the deck.
“Sorry,” Daniel shrugs and takes the beer. “Got busy unpacking some stuff.”
It’s only a quarter past seven, so he’s not too late, nor is he particularly worried. The early summer evening is just getting started, the sky above is a brilliant blue, the neatly manicured lawn surrounding Jack’s house is lush and green, the pines and spruce brimming with new growth. The air is still warm, but one of his distant memories reminds him that once the sun sets, the warmth will give way to the cool of a mountain night. Daniel leans against the sturdy wood railing and looks around curiously, almost accustomed to the continual state of déjà vu now. He’s been here before, he knows the rustic exterior of the house is deceptive, the interior as up to date and modern as any newer house. They’re obviously dining on the deck; paper plates, several bags of potato chips and at least half a dozen deli containers are piled on the redwood table at one end of the deck.
“Daniel Jackson,” Teal’c rumbles, by way of greeting.
Instead of a beer, the Jaffa holds a bottle of water and the small of bit of trivia that Teal’c is not affected by—nor likes—alcohol falls into place in Daniel’s brain. And even in the relative safety of Jack’s property, Daniel notes, the alien still wears a hat to cover his golden tattoo. Jack has returned to stand over the barbecue, the tantalizing aroma of grilling meat filling the air. Daniel nods at Teal’c and then takes a swallow of his beer, the icy cold liquid tastes familiar and strange, all at the same time. He looks at the amber bottle, swirling the liquid inside; he thinks he likes it. He takes another swallow and asks, “Where’s Sam?”
Jack pauses for a moment, the spatula in his hand hovering over the grill and he doesn’t look up when he says, “Just us guys tonight.”
Well, at least he’s not being lied to, Daniel thinks. So no Sam…and no awkward excuses as to why she’s not here. He can’t remember if this happens often, gathering at Jack’s, or if it’s just because of his return, not that it really matters. His life is starting fresh and the dim memories of his past are just that for the moment. Maybe Sam’s absence is only glaringly obvious to him but when Daniel glances at Teal’c, his expression is unreadable except for the faintest hint of regret in his dark eyes; so he knows he’s not the only one who sees how it is between their two friends.
Sighing softly, Daniel smiles and turns his attention back to Jack and the barbecue. “So, what are we having?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere between his second and third beer, Daniel starts to feel like maybe he has come home. Well, not home to Jack’s deck specifically, but home to where he belongs, on Earth, and at least for the time being, Colorado Springs and the SGC. The hamburgers Jack grilled were delicious and Daniel realizes his fears that there was too much food for just the three of them were unnecessary and he really wonders how he could have forgotten the enormous amount of food Teal’c consumes. Daniel lounges comfortably in one of those fold-up lawn chairs, watching as the sun disappears behind the mountains and listening with ever increasing disbelief to the stories Teal’c and Jack have started to trade regarding the exploits of SG1 over the past six years. He’s not sure he believes half of their tales, especially the ones where he’s responsible for almost getting them killed just because he finds or touches some alien artifact. But he’s given up protesting and contents himself with just enjoying the evening.
He does notice though, that even if she’s not physically present, Sam figures frequently in their stories. And after awhile he notices how Jack’s voice changes when he talks about Sam, or mentions her name, his whole demeanor changes and a certain softness enters his voice that isn’t there when he talks about anyone else, only Sam. It’s telling and he wonders if Jack even realizes it. He’s only half-listening to Jack’s current tale, a rather fantastical story of mute, genderless aliens with whom he tries to communicate by miming the flight of a UAV.
“Did not,” Daniel comments idly when Jack pauses in his tale.
“O’Neill speaks the truth.”
“You are the linguist,” Jack comments.
“Which usually implies the use of words.”
“Did you miss the part where the aliens don’t talk?”
“They could hear though, right?”
Jack frowns over his beer, as if considering how to answer the question and Daniel smiles in triumph. “That’s beside the point,” Jack mutters, clearly disgruntled.
“It is time for me to depart.” Teal’c stands and inclines his head slightly in Jack’s direction. “It has been a most agreeable evening, O’Neill.” Daniel tilts his head back and looks up at the Jaffa when he looms over him. “It is good to have you back, Daniel Jackson.”
“It’s good to be back.” It’s not the first time he’s uttered that phrase since his return but he thinks maybe it’s the first time he’s meant it. He doesn’t get up when Jack and Teal’c walk past him and down off the deck to the drive. He hears them talking, but can’t quite make out what they’re saying. Probably just about him and his return, he’s the main topic of conversation these days and he’ll be glad when the next nine days’ wonder comes along.
He hears the sound of a car starting and then Jack strolls back onto the deck, snagging another beer before he sits back down. Daniel looks back up at the night sky, the stars are winking into view and once the noise of Teal’c’s car fades away, the sounds of the night begin to surround them. “So, Teal’c can drive?”
Jack’s chair creaks slightly, his voice drifting through the night. “Yeah. Matter of fact, you taught him. In 1969.”
Daniel turns his head and looks Jack’s direction, his eyebrows rising. “Really? I was only…four in 1969.”
“Trust me.”
Daniel snorts softly; he does trust Jack but he also trusts that the man will yank his chain every opportunity he gets. But he’s feeling remarkably mellow so he only says, “It’s been a good evening.”
He hears the sound of ice shifting and a bottle cap hitting the deck with a small ching. “Yes,” Jack says, “it has.”
There’s more and Daniel decides to push the envelope a bit. “I wish Sam was here.”
“Next time.”
“Why not this time?”
“Daniel….”
He hears the warning but ignores it; he sits up and looks across the deck to where Jack sits, slouched down in a lawn chair, holding his beer casually in one hand. “Did something happen while I was gone?”
Jack sighs. “No, nothing happened.”
“Ah, well then that explains everything. Because nothing ever happens. When are you two going to do something—”
“Daniel, just stop,” Jack growls, abruptly standing, his lawn chair almost toppling over. “I’m going to bed.” Daniel sits back in his chair as Jack tromps past him to the front door, where he pauses for a moment. “Stay or leave, whatever you like. You know where the guest room is.”
The door slams shut and Daniel sighs softly, but he doesn’t get up to leave and relaxes back into the lawn chair. Even with Jack’s maybe-not-so-unexpected outburst he feels remarkably content and he thinks he’ll sit for a while longer before he heads back to the base.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first fat drop of cold rain wakes Daniel and he groans, he’s got a crick in his neck and he’s cold—and getting wetter by the minute as the passing rainstorm picks up in intensity. He struggles out of the lawn chair and staggers to Jack’s front door, the way lit by the soft glow from the solitary porch light. The door opens easily and once he’s indoors, he’s glad to see that Jack has left on one of the lamps in the living room. Daniel glances at his watch, one a.m. and he looks down the dark hallway that leads towards the bedrooms. He’s damp and deciding he doesn’t want to mess up the guest room, he turns and descends the few steps down into the living room. There’s an afghan draped along the back of the sofa and he slips off his shoes, carefully setting his glasses on the end table and shutting off the lamp before he lies down on the soft leather, draping the afghan up over him and pulling it around his shoulders. The leather is soft and the sofa pillow soft enough for a few more hours of sleep.
His sleep is peppered with a kaleidoscope of dreams, filled with a mishmash of the familiar and unfamiliar, places and people that tug and tease at his fractured memory. The first few nights back on Earth, sleeping in the VIP quarters at the SGC were the worst, but it’s not so bad now and Daniel thinks the familiar is starting to outnumber the unfamiliar. Half awake and beginning to regret his decision to sleep on the sofa, Daniel squints at his watch and sees a whole four hours have passed since he lay down.
Reaching over his head, Daniel unerringly connects with his glasses on the end table and slips them on. Carefully rolling onto his back, he stares up at the ceiling and ponders his options. The sun won’t be up for at least another hour and he isn’t all that eager to go back to the SGC just yet. He thinks he’d like some coffee and maybe some pancakes. And he thinks maybe he’d like to cook them himself.... As he contemplates pancakes, Daniel gets a crazy idea then that brings a huge grin to his face. Stopping only long enough to write Jack a note, Daniel quietly slips out the front door into the cool morning air.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finding coffee at the crack of dawn isn’t all that difficult, his returning memory has no trouble directing him to what was once his favorite Starbucks. He gets a venti coffee for himself and after a few awkward seconds of indecision, he orders a skinny venti vanilla latte—for Sam. Obviously his geographical memory is more or less intact because after leaving Starbucks he drives directly to the closest twenty-four hour grocery store. This early in the morning the only people he has to dodge are the stockers and he breezes up and down the aisles, collecting everything he needs for breakfast.
It takes him a bit longer to find Sam’s house, but he does and it’s almost a quarter to seven when he rings her doorbell. Her neighborhood is slowly coming to life, the occasional car moving down the street, a jogger out on an early morning run and the birds going crazy with their early morning songs. It’s so different from his life of the past few months that he feels a moment of fleeting nostalgia for the simpler life…no responsibilities…no universe to save. The door swings open and a disgruntled looking Sam appears on the other side of the screen door. And no friends.
“Daniel! What are you doing here?”
“Good morning,” he says brightly and holds out the venti skinny vanilla latte towards her.
She opens the door and both of Daniel’s eyebrows shoot up when she sets down a gun on a table in the entryway before taking the latte from him. She takes a tentative sip, and then a longer swallow, pleasure lighting her face. “You remembered!”
“More like a lucky guess,” he admits, but still pleased that the latte is tempering his unexpected early morning wake-up visit. “May I come in?”
“Yes, of course,” she answers. She steps back, holding the door open for him and he squeezes past her, juggling his coffee and the two full grocery bags. The interior of her house is familiar in the same way Jack’s house was and he heads straight down the hall to the kitchen.
“Daniel.” She follows behind him down the hall and stands in the entryway, a look of bemusement on her face as he starts pulling items out of the grocery bags and setting them on the counter. “What are you doing?”
“Well, I wasn’t sure what you’d have in your pantry and I’ve got this yen for pancakes.” He pauses, staring at the ingredients all lined up on her counter—flour, buttermilk, eggs, soda, baking powder, butter and of course, maple syrup. He’s also got bacon, sausage and orange juice, but he realizes there’s one thing he doesn’t have and he looks at Sam. “Do you have a cookbook?”
She laughs and disappears down the hallway, returning a few moments later with a classic red and white bound cookbook. “We could always go to IHOP,” she teases him, already flipping through the pages to the index.
“I’ve been eating too much cafeteria food lately,” he confesses, opening cupboards haphazardly in search of a mixing bowl. “I don’t want any mass produced pancakes, I want to make my own.”
“I’m sorry.” Sam lightly touches his arm and he stops in his search; her eyes are full of understanding and the feeling of connectedness he senses from her strengthens. “It can’t be easy, losing your memory, coming back to Earth and finding your home gone, all your belongings put into storage.”
Daniel smiles and on an impulse he doesn’t stop to question, pulls her into his arms and hugs her; her arms close around him and he allows himself a moment to accept her comfort. When she stirs, he releases her and she steps back, wiping at her eyes. “Thanks, Sam,” he tells her. And then in an effort to lighten the moment, he smiles and says, “You’d think I’d be used to coming back from the dead by now.”
She chuckles and with a smile, she gestures towards the counter piled high with his pancake fixings. “What do you want me to do?”
Once Sam becomes his willing accomplice, they work together with an easy camaraderie that reinforces what Daniel has already sensed about his relationship with Sam and he’s relieved that it looks like all of his team is going to accept him back into the fold. The kitchen is soon filled with the mouth-watering scents of sizzling bacon and sausage and he’s churning out fluffy buttermilk pancakes like a short-order cook. He makes way more than he and Sam could ever eat, but he’s not too worried and stacks them four deep on the two plates Sam has set out for him before he tucks the rest away in the oven, set to keep them warm.
“Pancakes are ready, Sam,” he calls, carrying the plates through to her dining room. The table is set with brightly colored placemats, a platter piled high with bacon and sausage, along with the requisite butter and maple syrup, complete their breakfast tableau. Sam is pouring the orange glass into two tall glasses and she looks impressed when he sets their pancakes down on the table.
“They look marvelous, Daniel.”
He grins, feeling fairly pleased with himself. “To be honest,” he admits, taking his seat as Sam sits down. “I wasn’t really sure I could cook.” She laughs and passes him the butter and there isn’t any conversation for several minutes, just the satisfied sounds of two people enjoying pancakes.
Sam is halfway through her stack of pancakes when she pauses to eat a piece of bacon and to ask him a question. “So how come you came to my house to cook instead of the Colonel’s? Not that I’m complaining.”
“Oh,” he replies, keeping his voice casual, “I had dinner over at Jack’s last night with him and Teal’c.” He’s been expecting this or a similar question and he watches her carefully; his memories tell him that she’s usually open and transparent, but not this time, she is looking anywhere but at him and he hears the subtle change in her voice that tells him she’s working hard to sound casual.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I asked Jack why you weren’t there.” He spears a sausage with his fork. “He said it was a guy’s night.”
“That makes sense,” she says, still without looking at him. “You guys need a chance to kickback together, get reacquainted.”
Daniel swirls the sausage around in the leftover syrup on his plate, buying some time. He doesn’t know if he’s just realized it or if it’s a memory, but it suddenly hits him that she’s just as uptight and bottled up as Jack. But he also remembers a softer side to her, a side that cried for a little girl she barely knew—and for him. He knows she’s had to be tough to succeed in what is still mostly a man’s world, but he also aches for the pain she’s had to endure and the sacrifices she’s made. Daniel cuts his sausage into four bite size pieces before he replies to her last comment. “At first I thought that something had happened between you and Jack while I was gone.”
“You what?”
That certainly gets her attention and he gives her his best befuddled look before he shrugs, “You know, that you two had finally gotten together.”
“It’s against regulations, Daniel.”
“So I hear.” He eats his sausage and takes it as a positive sign that she doesn’t contradict his assumption that she and Jack have feelings for each other. The expression on her face almost breaks his heart though, she looks tired and discouraged and he has to remind himself that it’s for their own good, so he forges on. “What’s stopping you, besides the obvious?”
She shakes her head. “Daniel, it’s complicated.”
Daniel snorts; even he remembers that when someone says that it just means they don’t want to talk about whatever it is that’s ‘complicated’. “It’s what you both want, regardless of the rules or complications. My memories may be a bit…fuzzy still, but I do remember that love is always worth fighting for.” He stops suddenly when a totally unexpected thought hits him. “Unless that’s the way you like it.”
Sam’s eyes narrow and she doesn’t look sad anymore, she’s starting to look annoyed. “Just what do you mean?”
“Oh come on, Sam. Jack's your safety net. As long as you’ve got this whole unrequited thing going with him, you don’t have to take a chance with anyone else.”
“Daniel, don’t you think if we could be together, we would?”
Her annoyance immediately fades and he hates the look of pain and confusion on her face, but he can’t quit now. “So what’s stopping you?” he repeats, a bit more gently this time. “Believe me, Sam, the world isn’t going to end if you and Jack go out on a date or something.”
She almost smiles then. “This is your advice, speaking as a formerly ascending being?”
“Well,” he says, making a sweeping motion about the dining room table. “You can see how well that worked out for me.”
She laughs a bit before her face once more turns serious. “Maybe you’re right, Daniel. Maybe I have been playing it safe.”
“Sometimes safe is a good thing, Sam. But other times….”
“You need to ascend?”
“Something like that.”
“I’ll think about it, Daniel. I can’t promise you any more than that.”
“You won’t regret it, Sam.”
She shakes her head and turns back to her pancakes and bacon, but that affectionate look is back in her eyes and he really, really hopes she means it when she says she’ll think about it. Of course, he hopes she’ll do more than just think about it. He finishes off his pancakes and then considers whether to have more sausage or maybe have some bacon when she looks at him again, gesturing with her fork towards his almost empty plate. “Are you ready for some more pancakes? I’ll go get them.”
“Just considering my options,” he tells her.
“Daniel,” she says, “you made enough pancakes to feed a small army. You’re not leaving until you—” The door bell rings, interrupting her and she gives him a puzzled look, setting her fork down and pushing back from the table. “Who on earth would be here this early in the morning? Besides you,” she adds with an affectionate smile.
“No idea,” Daniel says mildly.
The bell rings again, sounding more urgent and Sam rolls her eyes before she strolls through the front room to the door. “I’ll be right back,” she tells him.
“No problem,” Daniel murmurs. If his suspicions are correct, they’re about to get some company for breakfast and she won’t need to worry about all the pancakes currently warming in the oven. He carefully scoots back his chair and slips quietly to the edge of the dining room and peers cautiously around the corner; he can just barely see Sam and he shamelessly eavesdrops.
“Sir,” Sam says, sounding surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I heard there were going to be pancakes.” Jack sounds cautious and uncertain and Daniel waits tensely for Sam’s reply.
“Really?”
Daniel cringes, she sounds cool and distant and he sees all his carefully laid plans go up in smoke when she surprises him; maybe she was paying attention during their recent conversation after all.
“Well, your intel is correct. I currently have enough pancakes to feed an army. Please, come in…Jack.”
Daniel grins and quickly grabs his plate and used cutlery off the table and sneaks into the kitchen by way of the living room without being noticed. Humming a bit to himself, he gets a clean plate out of the cupboard and starts fixing a plate of pancakes for Jack. He thinks he has a little better insight into his failure as an ascended being, it’s much more fun to actually get involved and make a difference in people’s lives than to just observe from a distance.
“Daniel?”
It’s Sam and he sticks his head out into the hallway, Jack is standing behind her, both of them with slightly dazed expressions on their faces. Daniel takes that as a good sign, along with the fact that she didn’t immediately turn Jack away. “Go on into the dining room. I’ve got it covered!”
Sam smiles and Jack nods and they disappear in the direction of the dining room, his hand resting at the small of her back. Daniel smiles and marvels at the intense feeling of satisfaction that fills him—a feeling that’s mostly been missing from his existence for about the last year. Back in the kitchen he starts humming again and as he adds a couple of extra pancakes to Jack’s already tall stack he decides that there really are some thing’s that are just better when you’re not ascended, like helping your friends and eating pancakes.
THE END