Chapter Text
As hard as Dave tries, he really can’t find any reason to be enthused about the anime convention. Yeah, he’s playing along for Bro’s sake - he’s dressed up as Pikachu, for God’s sake - but his soul isn’t in it. This isn’t the type of irony he expected from him. It’s too obvious, and Bro looks like he’s having far too much legitimate fun.
Whatever. It was probably just too much for his small brain to understand. Bro is the sun, and he is a peanut, orbitting the sun like a tiny little Egbert-repellent asteroid, pulled toward it by irony and Cheetoes.
Unfortunately, he’s been thinking a little too long and paying too little attention to his surroundings - a well placed bounce hug from a fellow congoer knocks him out of his daze.
“PIKACHU!” the girl screams, clinging to him. “Pikachu, you’ve gotta help mew out, as a fellow Pokemon!” She’s wearing some semi-scanty outfit in beige and nearly crawling on his back - aren’t there rules agaisnt this kind of thing? Fixing his sunglasses, he pretends to be completely unphased by the catgirl on him.
“Alright, Meowth - I think you’re a Meowth, I can’t really tell, because you’re pretty much on me, Jesus, calm down - tell me the problem, this Pikachu will up and motherfucking shock the shit out of your issues, as long as they’re shockable issues. I might have to tackle them-“
The girl seems completely unphased by his rambling speech, and even cuts him off. “This guy’s been following me! It’s making me super uncomfortable, nya.”
“Who’s that gu-“
This guy arrives, fully adorned in Naruto cosplay. His quickly cocky swagger fades when he sees Dave, covered in girl and thick with muscle. “I-is she—” he studders. “with you?”
“Yup, this is my Meowth, caught her myself with an Ultra Ball and the B button. Didn’t even have to weaken her first, I’m the Pokemon Master. Got a problem?”
The Naruto quickly mumbles apologies and wanders away. The girl climbs down quickly and swings around to smile at him. “Sooorry about that! You were purrfect! Thanks!!” She says, giving him a hug. “Would you like to go to the dealer’s room together? We could get some Pocky and Ra-mew-ne, on me!”
Dave gives a small smirk, if only because the girl actually managed to make a cat pun in the word Ramune and the dress she was wearing was pulled down a little in the struggle, revealing a little cleavage. She was pretty kawaii, he could deal with a little diversion with a cute girl.
He was in a Pikachu costume, he couldn’t really lose any more face.