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How was I to know that you're my home, but now I'm lost, so lost

Summary:

Thor lost everything, and himself.
Mobius doesn't know Loki is out there lost in multiverse.
Loki just wants to get back to atleast one from Mobius or Thor or if he can then to both of them.

Notes:

I hate the fact that Endgame didn't address Thor's trauma properly and I hate how he was made fun of. So i wrote this. Title and chapters are lyrics of song named Forest Fire By Brighton. It fits loki and thor so much that it hurts.

Mobius will show up soon. This is more focused on thor and loki and then on Lokius. I hope this turns out good.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: When you were yong and used to dream about fires

Summary:

Thor reflecting on his life yeah...

Chapter Text

"Thor mighty lord of thunder" "crowned prince of asgard" "strongest avenger" all these titles were crap, none of them were made for him or more like he didn't deserve any of them. Thor never treated pepople like they deserved to be treated. He always took people for granted especially his mother Frigga and his brother Loki for Odin, his 'father'. Odin had taught him when he was child, "Your mother's forte is magic qnd she's teaching your brother the same, you don't need magic. Magic is for weak. And you my son I don't want you to be weak" child Thor had just nodded and then cried alone. He loved his mother, he wanted to learn what she taught loki, he wanted to spend time with loki, but Odin never left him alone from his trainings. And it did make sense for Loki to have more attention of Frigga, he deserve her love and attention unlike Thor.

Thor snorted thinking back to those days, the time when Loki had  frequentnightmares, Thor used to be one who heard him first, who held his tiny hands and helped him through those nightmares. That was until one day someone woke Frigga and Odin up. His mother proudly watched him calm loki down, but odin- he had complains, he asked questions and then sent Thor out for 'studying'.  He still remembered how tightly Loki had clutched onto him after every nightmare. These nightmares started after he and Frigga began their magic lessons, but Loki never complained because he loved their mother and he knew Odin will make fun if he even speaks.

Thor finished  the midgardian drink he had in his hand and threw the bottle on nearby surface breaking it loudly. That sound was still lower than sound of his thoughts. Why did he not understand back then? Why did he not pay more attention to his own brother? How could he not understand the pain behind those eyes? How could he never accept the fact that odin was wrong, je was always wrong? Why did it take him loki's death, invincible death, to understand why loki did what he did? Why did it take him loss of everyone and everything he has ever known to understand that odin didn't love him, he loved idea of having physically strong kid who listens to him and does what he is told to?

When he met his mother again, thanks ti his avenger friends, he tried is best NOT to think of everything else,  not to think of Loki who was down in prison for something Thor could've stopped him from doing.  He tried not to think of Hela who was abandoned and in condition he probably can't even imagine. '

Thor whipped his tears, he didn't know he was crying.  But now who's even counting how many times he has cried on abandoned planet while his new friends guardians of galaxy are on some planet nearby.  They never asked why he wanted to be alone, they just understood and Thor's more than thankful for the same. He had talked with Nebula, that poor child, noone reminded him more of loki than nebula. She once resented her so-called father and her sister Gamora, until Thor gave Thanos what he deserved. She was treated like trash for her sister, so she did everything in her power to prove her father that she was worthy. 'Wasn't that exact same way how Odin treated loki and how loki reacted?' She also told him about her time with Thanos.

Thor could feel his breaths shortening, he thought about the day Nebula told him about how loki survived that fall from bifrost. She told him what probably Thanos did to his little brother. He knows he should not think about it again, nothing will come out from this, he failed Loki his entire life, he failed everyone he knew and nothing will change it. Panicking won't do any good but the anger and pain didn't leave him alone. He stood up and tried to find something to vent his anger and pain on to. Not finding anything he created thunderstorm on this planet. There was no stopping him.

After few hours(?), minutes? Months?? Who knows, time is nothing here, he finally got exhausted and he collapsed. He missed his brother, he missed his family, he wants them back but nothing will ever bring them back and its all his fault, he wailed loudly. It felt good and exhausting at same time.