Chapter Text
Jasper Whitlock had had a harsh life before he got to meet a pixie of a vampire who had bathed him in love and a happiness he didn't even knew someone was capabale of feeling for a stranger.
She had been the most amazing person to ever cross paths with him. She had filled him with hope for a better future and a better life.
Alice.
His beautiful Alice who had taught him how he didn't need to harm humans in order to survive. Had told him about the family of vampires they would one day belong into.
The Cullens.
Never did he expect that that light she had brought into his life would extinguish so soon.
While traveling towards where her visions told her the Cullens were at the moment a hoard of newborns had appeared and it didn't matter how experienced he was. How much he fought.
He was one and this time he had needed to protect someone.
It was too much and he had been able to do nothing against them.
By the time he had woken up Alice was gone and a huge fire burnt around him.
He had felt as if all hope she had ever brought with her had vanished. His soul stolen as the darkness took back his mind and crushed him into utter loneliness and despair.
The wish to die had been huge. Still was.
He wanted to die because he had failed her. The one person who he was suppose to protect the most and he had failed.
Yet.
In her name he kept up searching for the Cullens which became twice as hard without nothing to aid him in his quest.
He kept looking for them for God knows how long and right he was starting to give up and hate even more how he couldn't even do this for Alice he had found them.
At last.
And so here he was sitting on a tree with his head leaning against the trunk and his legs hanging, a posture he would had once considered an absolute invitation to get killed.
He had found the Cullens as he had sworn to do. The vampires Alice had loved with each atom in her being and had been excited to meet. She had loved telling him about their kind nature and how amazing would it be to finally get to meet them in person, to join their family and finally find some peace of mind.
And while Alice had craved to meet them he had done nothing but sit there and watch them from afar. He came here.
But now he didn't felt that confident about going up to them.
He couldn't do this without Alice. His beautiful Alice. He leans further against the tree as his chest constrict.
Because he couldn't do this. This was as far as he went and God Alice would be so disappointed in him. She couldn't protect her and now he couldn't fullfil her greatest wish.
He was useless.
His attention perked when he realized their scents were growing closer along with their footsteps and he found himself ignoring the impulse to prepare for a potential fight.
What was the point?
There was no longer anything worth fighting for.
And as the three males appear he doesn't find it in himself to be the slightest bit alert.
It didn't matter.
Nothing did.
~
Carlisle was well aware of the vampire hanging in their current territory and while nomads weren't an usual occurrence that didn't meant they didn't pass through from time to time.
But this one wasn't moving at all which was flat out disturbing.
He had warned his children against approaching them since this one wasn't giving signs of being a threat despite their unnerving proximity to the house, maybe they were curious about their human charade which had raised a few eyebrows in the past too.
But when a day became two Carlisle knew this wasn't curiosity but something more, so he took Edward and Emmett with him to check out their guest.
-You are not by any means to start a fight.- He warned Emmett for the second time. If it was possible he wanted to keep violence out of the equation.
Emmett huffed but didn't protest. He knew better than to arise fights during serious matters.
Plus if this vampire was a threat they would had attacked them already.
As their run turned into a human pace for a moment they didn't see the owner of the smell.
-Tree.- Informed Edward and Carlisle looked up to find the vampire sitting on a branch with most of his weight leaning against the tree.
And while most of him was covered in years worth of dirt and dried blood what struck Carlisle the most were his golden eyes, dull and clouded with hunger but golden .
-You feed on animal blood?- Carlisle's voice came out before he could help himself.
A short nod was his answer but other than that he showed no reaction or emotion whatsoever aside from that emptiness that seemed to hang all over him like a mantle.
-Would you please come down? We won't hurt you unless you hurt us first.- Carlisle tried to keep his voice kind and his posture relaxed despite how anxious and apprehensive he felt. Who was this vampire and what was his reason to have come here?
The vampire dropped off the tree and landed on the ground a few feets infront of them. His posture not even guarded but not quite relaxed either. It was more as if he had no desire to fight at all and if it came to a fight he wouldn't care to defend himself.
That for some reason unnerved Carlisle.
Jasper for his side stared at the oldest looking vampire. The coven leader then, what was his name? He couldn't remember their names anymore and it was frustrating to an extent.
Wait.
Carlisle .
-He knows your name.- Says Edward, his voice alarmed and his posture growing guarded, he couldn't get a good read of this man's mind since it was too fogged but he had caught that name.
Carlisle frowned.
-How do you know my name? Did someone ask you to find me?- Asked Carlisle, the Denali couldn't be, Eleazer would have warned him beforehand of his arrival and then there would have been no need for him to hide out here.
Jasper knew he needed to speak. He didn't quite remember when was the last time he spoke, not that it mattered.
But what was the point? He had been so focused on finding them that he hadn't given thought to what would he do once he found them.
And what even mattered who told him to come here? It didn't matter. Nothing did and he had met them now so he could leave.
Yet before he could take a step back Carlisle's voice reached his ears. There was a time where feeling someone pitying him would had sent him over the edge.
Now not even a flicker did he felt at it.
-Would you like to come with me?- Carlisle wasn't sure what lead him to ask that but something about this young man made his chest constrict. He looked.... empty.
And Carlisle could swear he had seen that look before but he couldn't quite remember from where.
A nod was his answer.
Emmett and Edward took it to walk behind the strange vampire to make sure he wouldn't either make a run for it or get any funny ideas against Carlisle who had taken the lead.
Edward didn't like how he couldn't read his mind which given his defeated posture of someone who had given up on life a long time ago shouldn't be possible. Blocking him out like this required great talent and it unnerved him how someone like him was doing it without any visible effort.
Dangerous .
Something about this man unsettled him and it made his skin crawl.
Emmett on the other hand rather than the previous wariness he had felt all he could feel was curious if not a bit bad due the man's state. It was clear he had gone through Hell and back.
It kind of unsettled him to see someone so withdrawn and with no emotion showing on their face whatsoever.
Meanwhile Jasper focused on keeping himself walking with his gaze on the ground. Once upon a time the sole idea of turning his back to another vampire would had repelled him to no end. Now he didn't particularly cared.
As they approached the house he caught sight of a beautiful blonde waiting at the porch. Her nose crunching up in disgust as her emotions broadcasted the actual weight of her disgust with traces of disbelief and confusion at the sight of him.
He knows how he looks like. He doesn't need her sending waves of disgust towards him. He doesn't remember when was the last time he took a shower that wasn't while walking under the rain, if that even counted as a shower. His hair matted with dried blood and dirt. His clothes were worn out, smelly and stained in dried blood that had accumulated for God knows how long. He didn't bother to keep count of days since Alice left.
-You brought him here?- Snapped Rosalie not quite being able to believe Carlisle would do something so stupid. Bring a strange vampire home!
-He feeds on animals and he knows my name.- Told Carlisle, that's all he needed to say for Rosalie to scoff and go back inside.
Jasper caught sight of another woman, Esme he believed, she was watching him, pity and kindness exuding out of her.
-Would you like to take a shower? Edward can lend you some clothes.- Offered Esme, Carlisle would had never brought him here if he didn't think it was safe, and those golden eyes... not many vampires knew the vegetarian diet was even an option.
Plus.
She could see Carlisle wanted to talk to them in private and considering all rooms were soundproof even for vampire ears...
Jasper for his side stared at Esme. A shower? What for? What was the point of being clean? It did nothing but uncover the monster beneath.
But Alice would had wanted him to be nice. He needed to be nice to them for Alice.
So rather than decline the offer he nodded.
Carlisle was quick to show him the bathroom and explain to him how to use the shower.
-Edward will leave the clothes for you outside.- Told Carlisle. A part of Jasper hated the condescending tone, as if he was something to be pitied.
But he had no strength to feel like it.
So after Carlisle left he shed his clothes and got into the shower. He stood beneath the spray of water for who knows how long, staring at the floor and watching as the water beneath him turned brownish and pinkish as the dirt and dried blood left his skin and hair.
At some point the feeling of rushing water on him grew too much and he got out. He dried himself out and put on the clothes he had been given, the sleeves weren't long enough to cover his arms and he found it uncomfortable to have his scars showing.
But it was fine.
This was proof that he was a monster. That he couldn't do nothing but destroy.
He stared at himself in the mirror, it had been so long since he saw his face. His golden eyes stared back at him, dull and clouded with a hunger that threatened to eat him from the inside out, his hair dripped wet and still and absolute mess of knots. He dried it and didn't bother to smooth down the mess he had made of it. It didn't matter.
None of it.
~
-Why did you bring him here? For all we know it could be a trap.- Said Rosalie still not being able to believe Carlisle would be so reckless so as to bring a complete stranger into their home.
-Rosalie, you saw him, I don't think he has interacted with anyone at all for a long time, he needed help and he knew my name, I couldn't leave him there even if I wanted to.- Carlisle couldn't turn his back to someone who needed help. Not if he knew he could help.
And that vampire....
He looked so lost and alone...
God Carlisle couldn't leave him there.
-You should have seen him Rose. He was ready to let himself be killed.- Said Emmett, he was feeling a bit unsettled with how subdued that guy had been.
-Edward, were you able to hear anything else from him?- Asked Carlisle.
-No, he's blocking me.- Edward's words got raised eyebrows.
-He's blocking you? How?- Asked Carlisle, there was no way for the unnamed vampire to know Edward was a mind reader, but again, how had he known Carlisle's name? Something wasn't adding up.
-I don't know... it's like he knows .
-How the hell would he know?- Frowned Rosalie getting a pointed look from Carlisle at the language she decided to use.
-Maybe he's got a freaky power too that lets him know if there are other freaks around.- Said Emmett and while Carlisle could have phrased it better he had to agree with Emmett. That was the most logical explanation here.
It was around half an hour later that their guest made his apparition and Carlisle couldn't help the flicker of fear that gripped him when he noticed the scars on his arms, neck and jawline, it looked as if he had been attacked by an army of newborns.
Rosalie growled in warning which made the unnamed vampire halt at the bottom of the stairs and tilt his head to the side ever so slightly, as if some part of him deep down wanted to retaliate against her aggression.
-Rosalie.- He warned her. Those scars were skin crawling and Carlisle knew for a statement of fact that each one of them were proof that this vampire could fight.
This vampire had suddenly become more dangerous than he had been earlier but Carlisle tried to not let it show on his face.
-Why don't you sit down and tell us what were you doing on that tree for the past two days?- Offered Carlisle instead. The stranger who Carlisle really needed to know the name of so he could have something to refer to him as sat down as asked, studying them almost as if to put names and faces together, it was unsettling how he seemed to know them.
Jasper for his side was trying to decipher which one was which, after a moment he glanced at Edward. He didn't had the strength nor will to speak when all he felt like doing was crumbling down and wallow in self loathing for the rest of his life. Now that his goal had been fulfilled he had no strength for nothing else.
"I came here to fulfill someone's wish."
He felt Edward's surprise as he spoke to him on his mind.
-You came here to fulfill someone's wish?- Repeated Edward quite stricken, because now it was clear their guest did know he was a mind reader.
-A wish? What kind of wish?- Asked Esme curiously.
"Meeting you."
-Meeting us?- Frowned Edward in confusion.
-What kind of wish is that?- Snorted Rosalie and her condescending tone got the first reaction from their odd guest which was a dangerous flicker in his eyes as he settled his gaze upon her. Emmett growled at him in warning which got him an even more venomous glare able to make the entire room tense.
-Who wanted to meet us?- Asked Esme hoping to dissuade a potential fight. At her question a sudden sadness seemed to overtake the room, so deep it felt as if it was being carved into their flesh.
But as quick as it came as quick as it was gone.
And then he spoke for the first time. His voice sounded as if he hadn't used it in ages.
-Alice.
His voice as ragged and broken as it came out held such a desolate undertone Esme wanted nothing more but to pull this stranger into a hug if that meant she could get to sooth the pain inside of him.
And it was then that Carlisle realized where he had seen that look.
The second he realized it the second it seemed to click on all the heads of the room.
That was the look of a vampire who had lost their soulmate.
No wonder he was in such state of disarray, losing your mate was the most devastating thing a vampire could ever go through, it was something no one ever recovered from and for the most part it always ended with the remaining partner dying.
-Was Alice your mate?- Asked Esme gently, she needed confirmation. He nodded and with that single nod Esme's heart shattered.
-So you came to us because she wished to meet us?- Asked Carlisle, cautious in his choice of words, but he couldn't help but feel confused because he had never met an "Alice" and yet she had apparently wanted to meet them.
For the first time in this whole time the unnamed vampire's lips twitched into what could have been a little smile so full of sadness it made Carlisle's chest constrict. He looked so young, couldn't have been older than twenty when he was turned, he wondered where was his creator.
-Alice had a gift which allowed her to see visions of the future. Ever since she found me she would tell me about the Cullens and how we were bound to meet them, you , and join your family. She always spoke about how she couldn't wait to meet you all and then...- He trailed off looking so angry and desolated at the same time it hurt.
Then he composed himself again.
-I thought that the least I could do was to fullfil her wish to an extent.- He said and something about his tone didn't settle well with Carlisle.
-To an extent?
-Yes, I met you as she wanted but I'm not interested in staying.
-You have somewhere to go back to?- Asked Carlisle, he didn't like where this was going.
Jasper didn't answer, truth be told he hadn't known what to do after fulfilling Alice's wish, but now that he did that sense of emptiness had grown to an almost suffocating state.
He had nothing left to live for.
Best course of action would be to end it, it would be better than live drowning. He didn't want to go back to Peter and Charlotte and become a burden.
-You want to commit suicide.- Edward's words made Esme gasp and Carlisle's skin crawl.
No. Carlisle couldn't let him leave. He hadn't met this Alice but if what he said was true then Carlisle couldn't see himself turning away the one thing she had left behind. He needed to do something.
-Tell me, what's your name?
A beat of silence before the name was spoken.
-Jasper, my name is Jasper Whitlock, sir.
-Jasper, would you like to stay with us?- Carlisle's offer got him a frown from Jasper.
-Why? You don't know me.
-Because you look like you need a place to belong and I don't want to let you go knowing I could have helped you.
-...I was in the southern wars and I don't have a good control over my bloodlust.
Carlisle wasn't sure what he had been expecting but that hadn't been it. He had heard about the southern wars and the violent vampires that resided there. Armies of newborns and fights over territories. The Volturi had had to intervene a few times when things got too out of control.
The knowledge that he had one of those vampires sitting across from him and under the roof of his home would had been more alarming if Jasper wasn't looking at him as if he was expecting Carlisle to take his words back. And he couldn't do that. Not when he looked so alone and letting him leave could without a doubt lead him to his death.
-I also have a gift. I can sense and manipulate the emotions of those around me.
-An empath?- Carlisle had never heard of such a gift. He wondered about how well that gift must had served him in those wars.
-Have you been using that on us?- Snapped Rosalie suddenly, Jasper for his credit didn't flinch at her outburst.
-No. I only used it to protect myself.
Used . So he didn't use it anymore?
-Carlisle, you can't seriously want him to stay, you don't know what sort of people he could attract here.- Protested Rosalie, this was her safe place and she didn't want to lose that because of some random vampire who turned up had without a doubted surrounded himself with enemies.
-I know, but I'm not turning him away Rosalie, whatever happens in the future we will deal with it.
Rosalie scowled at that but didn't protest.