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Cheong-san blinked at Su-hyeok sitting in front of him, trying to process the words that had just come from his mouth. He was–twitchy: fingers fidgeting with the buttons of his uniform, eyes glancing away before eventually meeting Cheong-san’s then starting all over again. He didn’t think he’d seen self-assured Su-hyeok nervous before, let alone to this extent.
Cheong-san probed the inside of his cheek with his tongue, head unconsciously tilting and eyebrows furrowing.
“You’re a bicycle?”
Su-hyeok stopped fidgeting and looked at him blankly. Then his face creased into bemusement. “What?”
Cheong-san’s own deepened. He frowned. “Does that mean you’re a bicycle?”
“No, Sannie.” Su-hyeok’s head was shaking, expression switching between amusement, confusion, and solemnity, all in that order. “I’m bi.”
“Yeah, I heard you the first time. Why does it sound like you’re not finishing the word?”
He dragged a hand down his face. “Dude.”
Cheong-san took offense. Why was he the one frustrated after telling him such puzzling things? Su-hyeok rubbed his eyes then looked around the classroom as if making sure no one was eavesdropping. He looked into Cheong-san’s face with his signature earnestness that always rooted him to the spot.
“I’m bisexual.”
Cheong-san flinched back, hitting the back of his head on the windowsill. “What the hell, man?” He muttered, rubbing the sore spot. He saw a flash of hurt appear in Su-hyeok’s eyes; that only made him more confused if that was even possible. “Grow up. No need to talk about”— he shuddered at what he was about to say— “sex stuff.”
The hurt evaporated. Su-hyeok looked at him like he’d just started frothing about aliens. Soon, understanding dawned on his beautiful face, and he sighed defeatedly once more before giggling. That giggle turned into a chuckle, then into a laugh, until he was straight up howling , bent over in two, clutching his stomach like he was in pain and nearly falling off the windowsill.
Cheong-san hit his friend’s shoulder, trying desperately to pull him back up as his laughter drew the eyes of their classmates. “Yah, what’s so funny, moron?” He demanded, feeling his face heating up. “Are you making fun of me, asshole?” Red-faced, Su-hyeok finally straightened, wiping the corner of his eyes with his finger and still puffing out huffs of mirth. He had a certain fondness in his eyes as he looked at Cheong-san, making the unsolicited heat in his face intensify. He swallowed tightly. “W-What, dumbass?”
“Ah, nothing,” Su-hyeok stretched out his leg and knocked his foot lazily against Cheong-san’s own. He petulantly kicked back. “I’m just thinking about what to talk about first. The fact that you’re still a prude even when we’re almost seventeen or the fact you don’t spend your time on the internet.”
Cheong-san balked. “Yes, I do.”
“Oh, yeah?” Su-hyeok lifted his chin defiantly. “Doing what? Playing League?”
“And,” Cheong-san grasped at straws. “Looking at memes. The one I sent Gyeong-su this morning was gold.”
Su-hyeok’s head lolled against the window, and Cheong-san could tell he was even more amused than before. His eyes never left his. “What else would I expect from my Sannie?”
Cheong-san rolled his eyes and looked back out the window, trying in vain to hide his grin. That dumb nickname never failed to make his heart skip a beat. He let his classmates’ low murmurs filter in and out of his ears. “So?” He asked after a comfortable silence.
Su-hyeok hummed contentedly. “So what?”
Cheong-san scoffed and realized he was too far to flick his forehead and too lazy to reach. He chose to settle his leg above Su-hyeok’s ankle instead. “What does— bisexual —mean?”
With flushed cheeks, Su-hyeok admitted after a moment: “It means I like girls. And boys.” His eyes strayed to Cheong-san’s again toward the end, some . . . smoldering emotion hidden in their depths, something Su-hyeok didn’t voice out. Cheong-san felt pinned by that stare, like a butterfly, spread-eagled and unable to escape.
After some difficulty, he tore his gaze from Su-hyeok’s, coughing to hide his awkwardness. He felt the return of that unusual heat in his face. His mind then processed his friend’s words once again and his head tilted, tongue probing the inside of his cheek once more. “Oh. So that's the word for it.”
“What?”
Cheong-san looked back at him. “I think . . .” he mused, “I’m bi, too.”
Su-hyeok stared at him with another blank look for a second before his face brightened, something surreal lighting up the dimness of his eyes. “Shit. Seriously? You better not be fucking with me.”
“I-I think so.” Cheong-san rubbed his arm anxiously, then started to pick at a hangnail. “You remember that boy who moved away right after the school year started? Jae-hoon?”
“Jae-hyun.” Su-hyeok nodded in understanding. “What about him?”
“He was, uh, really nice,” Cheong-san coughed, embarrassed to be admitting something he only privately told On-jo. “He was—he was tall and helped me on my homework sometimes.”
“. . . oh.”
“And, and On-jo, too.”
Su-hyeok’s gaze sharpened suddenly. “You like On-jo?”
“N-No!” Cheong-san waved his hands, reflexively glancing at his childhood friend. She was chatting merrily to I-sak, not paying any attention to the pair of them. “I mean, I used to, but she made it clear she only thought of me as a friend.” That confession from middle school had stung, and until recently, he could still feel the sputtering light of its embers. But he’d learned to stomp it out. “We’re cool, though. We’re just friends.”
“. . . I see.” Cheong-san could still see Su-hyeok was conflicted even as his face smoothed over. He learned over time what the rigidness of his brow meant, the shifting of his jaw implying his restlessness as his tongue ran along his teeth.
This time, Cheong-san reached to flick his forehead, making his friend startle and blink over at him. “What is it, Teddy?”
Even in his turmoil, Su-hyeok couldn’t help cracking a smile like Cheong-san knew he would. He smiled as well. As his classmates had nicknamed him “Bare-su” because of his repulsive habit of forgoing socks everyday, Cheong-san learned early on that it sounded like “bear” in English. He thought Teddy would be cute for a big guy like Su-hyeok, and occasionally teased him with the nickname when they were alone, partially because it was worth seeing him flustered and partially to get back at him for “Sannie”.
“Nothing.” Su-hyeok shook his head, gently rocking their crossed legs back-and-forth.
Cheong-san rose an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” He poked the tip of Cheong-san’s finger with his own. “I’ll tell you about it soon.”
“Will you?”
“I will.” Su-hyeok’s smile was full of that earnestness he’d always possessed and Cheong-san let it go.
“Do you like anyone?” He said instead. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t curious.
Su-hyeok hummed again. “Me?” He scanned the room, then nodded behind Cheong-san. He turned around.
“The class president?”
“Mm-hmm. She’s pretty cute.”
“. . . I guess she is.” Something in Cheong-san’s chest felt tight and he was hit with the sudden urge to leave the classroom.
“She’s, like, a small crush, though.” Su-hyeok added almost like an afterthought. “I don’t like her seriously, y’know? She’s just—pretty to me.”
After some thought, Cheong-san nodded slowly in understanding. On an objective standpoint, Nam-ra would be considered attractive. He was about to voice that On-jo found her to be, too, but he didn’t think she’d like him unintentionally outing her out. Additionally, she had once confided in him that she liked Su-hyeok’s charisma and looks, and spent a total of one day ranting in his ear about it until she found another attractive person to obsess about.
Cheong-san and On-jo really had similar yet completely different issues concerning– gag –their love life. Attraction came to her easily but never settled while he, he noticed, was interested only once he’d gotten to know someone for an indeterminate amount of time.
Cheong-san wondered where Su-hyeok fell on the spectrum. Secretly, he wondered if he liked anyone else.
“Thanks,” he mumbled softly. His eyes raised to meet Su-hyeok’s. “Thanks for telling me.”
It didn’t take long for Su-hyeok to smile back. One of his genuine smiles that hinted at playfulness, vulnerability, warmth, and promises of more in the future. “I knew you wouldn’t judge. Even if you didn’t understand at first.”
Cheong-san felt a bashful smile tugging at his mouth, and he lowered his head, shaking with laughter. He felt a sudden rush of affection for Su-hyeok, this Su-hyeok who he cherished that decided to entrust him with such a personal detail about himself. The thought that Cheong-san shouldn’t do the same never even crossed his mind. It just felt so natural to share, like the opportunity to connect deeper with the other boy finally showed itself.
He was seized by the urgent impulse to take Su-hyeok’s hand that hovered barely an inch away. He wanted to outline the lines of his palm, caress the back of his knuckles, trace the veins leading up to his arm, or just do something to feel his warmth bleeding into his own.
Another leg jostle brought him back to the surface. “How about you, Sannie?” Su-hyeok prompted. “Do you like anyone right now?”
Cheong-san stayed silent, his previous thoughts still running rampant in his mind. “What?”
Su-hyeok rolled his eyes, as if thinking of course you weren't listening. “I said, do you like anyone right now?”
Cheong-san pursed his lips, considering Su-hyeok in front of him. Considered his sun-kissed skin, his gelled hair, his imploring, doe-like eyes, his broad shoulders. Considered his own desire to kiss and taste and feel all of him.
Cheong-san considered the irony of the situation.
“Yeah. I do.”
That earnest look returned. “Who?”
Cheong-san smiled. “I’ll tell you about it soon.”
“Yah!”
* * *
On-jo watched Cheong-san and Su-hyeok’s oblivious display of affections as they sat together on the windowsill, curled into each other like lovers. The adoring look in their eyes was identical. The constant physical contact was fit for a couple.
It was somehow both adorable and disgusting.
It was true she had a minor crush on Su-hyeok, but she found that her own affection for the two of them overpowered her jealousy. On-jo rolled her eyes, wishing one of them would finally use their brains. Or better yet, if they both did.
“What is it?” I-sak asked, following her gaze.
“Boys are stupid.” On-jo uttered. She shook her head. “Nevermind, it’s nothing important. But have you ever seen a cat and a dog together? Like, pawing and jumping at each other but never really touching?”
“Um, I think so?”
“Yeah.”