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Alec and Simon both assumed that the biggest hurdle in their relationship would be Alec coming out. Considering the background Alec came from, they both assumed that every part of his coming out would be arduous and difficult. Alec had worried from day one that he’d be taken off shifts after everyone knew. He had nightmares about his peers refusing to work with him and about the Clave deruning him before kicking him out entirely.
In the end, Alec came out about a month and a half into their relationship. He told Izzy and Jace first, who were both overwhelmingly (and sometimes aggravatingly) accepting. They’d both insisted on meeting Simon, who they’d then bombarded the moment they met. Izzy insisted she and Simon go out for drinks sometimes, while Jace bizarrely tried to convince Simon to spar with him. Then, Alec told his parents. That had been the real hurdle. Once his parents knew, there would be no way to contain the damage. Whatever would happen — deruning or the like — would happen, and there would be no way to stop it.
As expected, Alec’s mother had gone off the rails. She found everything about the news hard to accept. She’d known that Alec had liked men since he was a child and he’d told her so but in her own words she’d thought he’d ‘grown out of it’. Then, there was the fact that Simon was a downworlder. Alec wasn’t exactly sure which fact she was more upset by. She seemed to flip-flop on which seemed more egregious to her.
Alec’s father on the other hand had been far more accepting, which took Alec entirely by surprise. Robert asked Alec only once, after Maryse stormed out of the room, if he was sure he liked men like he thought. Alec insisted he was and after that, Robert only nodded. He told Alec that Maryse would get over it eventually (which Alec doubted) and then, he asked if he could meet Simon.
Alec initially protested but when Robert asked if Simon was around, Alec begrudgingly admitted that Simon was in his room waiting for him. He expected his father to look surprised or angry. After all, downworlders weren’t supposed to be in the building unless they were there on official business but Robert only nodded again and gestured for Alec to lead the way.
According to Alec, he hadn’t exactly wanted to but he hadn’t known what else to say, so he’d walked to his room and then he’d knocked on the door and given Simon only a brief warning before he opened the door and walked in with his dad in tow.
Simon was standing anxiously by the window, where he insisted he’d be there for Alec until he was done. Alec said that he felt like Simon had been more anxious than him, which might have been true. Simon was beyond worried for Alec. Alec himself seemed resigned to accept the horrendous fallout he was sure was coming.
Regardless, Alec didn’t think either of them expected him to suddenly appear with his father behind him.
After that, Robert had given Simon the most awkward handshake that Alec had apparently ever seen and then Robert had insisted he should probably go try to defuse Maryse before she caused more trouble.
When the door closed behind him, leaving Alec and Simon alone in his room, they’d both thought that the worst of it was over. Oh, how wrong they were.
Simon hadn’t told his mother about Alec mostly because he hadn’t been telling his mother much about his life now. It was hard to tell her anything, when the truth amounted to ‘I’m a vampire and I have a hot boyfriend who fights demons,’ but Simon still tried to keep in contact. Every week, he’d go over for a family dinner where he’d force down food that he’d have to purge after. Mostly, his mother seemed happy with this.
Simon insisted that he was happy. He told her that he had a new job at a bar (which was technically true; the fact that it was a downworlder bar is what he left out) and that’s mostly where they left things. Every time she pried, Simon would obfuscate. He was good and that’s all she needed to know and about all Simon needed to tell her.
That was until Alec. Alec was the only solid thing in Simon’s life since he was turned and after Alec came out to his parents, Simon felt himself longing for that. He’d never felt the need to tell his mom about the people he was dating before, mostly because none of them were serious. But Alec was.
Alec was the most serious relationship Simon had ever been in. He knew it was naive to think they’d never break up but if Simon was being honest, he couldn’t imagine a future where they weren’t together — not for a very long time at least and not without some outside force Simon didn’t even want to think about separating them.
If Simon really slowed down to think about it, he might have realized that introducing Alec to his mother was a bad idea. His mother had no clue he was pansexual, and though Simon didn’t think that would be an issue, he supposed he could see how that could be a lot to spring on someone without warning, especially considering everything else Simon was literally bringing to the table.
Simon didn’t consider how his mother might have taken the sudden shift in his life over the past few months. He didn’t consider the worries she might have. Truthfully, he thought it was all contained but perhaps, his mother hadn’t quite believed he was as okay as he insisted he was.
Either way, Simon didn’t consider that it might be a bad idea to bring Alec home. When he asked Alec himself to come, Alec didn’t have any reason to think it was a bad idea either. At the very least, he assumed that Simon’s mother would react better than his mother had. Maryse Lightwood had really set the bar low.
Still, Simon had to admit that showing up on his mother’s doorstep with a big muscular tattooed boyfriend in a leather jacket wasn’t exactly a reassuring look.. All he could think about was how relieved he was to finally have this part of his life that he could share completely with his mother. He had to lie about everything, but this was real. Alec and him were real, and he didn’t need to lie to show his mother that.
Simon’s optimism didn’t start to falter until the moment he was standing on his mother’s doorstep with Alec behind him. Alec smiled politely. For all his antisocial behavior, he really could be a charmer when he tried but Simon’s mother didn’t look particularly taken with Alec’s brand of charm.
Her smile faded just a little before she finally seemed to remind herself to act polite and plaster it back on. She let Simon introduce them both and then she let them inside exactly like she was supposed to but when she didn’t realize Simon was still looking, he saw the furrow in her brow as she watched Alec.
Simon didn’t get it initially, not until later, after an awkward dinner when she asked if Simon could walk into the kitchen and talk to her for a moment. Normally, the kitchen would offer privacy but with Alec’s hearing rune, Simon was more than sure that Alec could hear the entire conversation that was about to take place.
Alone in the kitchen, Simon’s mother stopped trying to hide the concern on her face. “Simon,” she hissed, “What’s gotten into you?”
Simon frowned, stepping backwards in shock. “What do you mean?” He asked. He quieted his voice, despite the fact that he could hear Alec still in the dinning room where it sounded like he’d been toying with one of his mother’s vases on the shelf above the table.
“What do I mean?” She echoed, as if the entire thing was so obvious. “You move out, you stop telling me what you’re doing, you come into my house looking as pale as a ghost, you barely touch your food and now, you show up with some criminal and just expect me not to notice.”
If Simon had blood still, he was sure he’d have gone pale. “A criminal?” Simon asked in shock.
“Simon!” Elaine snapped, “A big muscular man with scars like that, bruises on his knuckles, walking in here wearing a leather jacket! I never took you as the type to fall for that! You’ve never even been into men before!”
Simon frowned deeper. “Well, I have been—”
She cut him off, carrying on in a softer, kinder voice. “Simon, I think you should move back home. I don’t know what’s come over you but it’s nothing we can’t sort out. We can get you help. You can break things off with this — this man. I can call your sister and we can help you.” She reached out for his arm but Simon moved away, pulling his arm from her grasp but it was too late anyway. “Simon, you’re cold as a brick. Whatever you’re on, we can fix it. I know this isn’t who you are! Whatever you got involved in, we can fix it.”
For a long moment, Simon fell entirely silent. He couldn’t even think of what to say. There was nothing he could say and the worst thing was that he got it. How could he expect his mother to accept the way his life had changed and think everything was okay? And Alec, Simon loved Alec but now, he thought back on every other person he’d ever introduced to his mom before. He thought of all the nerdy friends he and Clary had. Of course, his mom would think Alec was some criminal. How could she have thought anything else? What else could be the explanation for someone like Alec hanging out with someone like Simon? The old Simon didn’t talk to people who looked like Alec and they both knew that.
“He’s not a criminal,” Simon tried softly, though he already felt like this conversation was coming to an end. “He works in security. He’s not—” But Simon’s mother was shaking her head and Simon fell silent, letting the sentence stop right there. He could tell she wasn’t listening; not really.
His mother carried on. She told him she was going to call Rebecca. She told him that whatever was going on, they’d fix it together, but she didn’t understand. They were never going to fix the fact that he died. They were never going to fix the fact that Simon’s heart had stopped in his chest and whatever nerdy kid his mom remembered had died when Simon had risen from the dirt.
Simon understood why his mother was so upset. He wasn’t who he used to be, and he couldn’t keep expecting her to act like everything was the same when nothing was.
She turned to go grab her phone and after a moment of hesitation, Simon turned as well. He was at Alec’s side in an instant. Alec was frowning, his hand half hovering in the air like he had frozen exactly where he’d been. Alec opened his mouth and tried to speak but Simon shook his head.
They left without another word. It was only outside that Alec finally tried to speak again, “I’m sorry.” Alec fell silent for another moment before he carried on softly, “Your mother thought I was…” Alec trailed off awkwardly.
“A criminal,” Simon finished. He swayed into Alec’s side, grabbing his hand before he squeezed it and let out a soft, humorless chuckle. It wasn’t funny, but it was a little. Simon had no clue how he’d ever expected that to go any better. Every moment he’d spent with his mom had just made her more worried. Even if Alec hadn’t come for dinner, Simon was sure it all would have ended like this anyway.
“It’s okay,” Simon said after a moment, though he wasn’t sure if it actually was.
Alec squeezed his hand back, seeming to think before he spoke again. He was always like that. He never jumped into things. Simon could always tell when he wasn’t sure how to approach something because he’d take a moment to consider it and make sure he was saying the right thing before he opened his mouth.
It was sweet. Simon didn’t imagine a real criminal would be so considerate.
“Are you sure? Obviously, that wasn’t just about me. That had to have been upsetting for you, not being able to tell her the truth.”
Simon frowned and when he didn’t answer, Alec gently pulled them to a stop.
“You can tell me if you’re upset,” Alec murmured.
Simon turned. Alec was so close to him that he almost considered leaning in for a kiss but he knew that if he did that, he’d never give Alec an answer. That might not be the worst thing in the world but right now, Simon kinda felt like he wanted to give an answer.
“I’m not… upset,” he ventured carefully. It was hard to place words to exactly what he was feeling. “I feel disillusioned, I guess.” He smiled but he knew that it was as crooked and bittersweet as his heart felt. “It was a stupid idea introducing you to my mom anyway. It was a stupid idea trying to stay in my mom’s life in general. Of course, she thinks somethings wrong with me and you—” Simon laughed as he squeezed his boyfriend’s hard, muscular arm. “You look like you go to the gym everyday. She knows I’ve never even stepped inside a gym.”
Alec frowned deeper as he listened.
Simon leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “You don’t look like a criminal,” he promised. “But you don’t look like anyone I’d ever have the confidence to talk to or anyone that would ever talk to me in return.”
At that, Alec’s face scrunched up. Instantly, he looked offended on Simon’s behalf. “That makes no sense. I talk to you. You’re cute and—”
“Yeah, I get it,” Simon cut him off. “You’re a good boyfriend and I’m adorable, but if I wasn’t a vampire, if I was the Simon I used to be, you’d never have talked to me.”
Alec fell silent. Simon knew he couldn’t argue with that. There were some caveats but they both remembered exactly how poorly they’d gotten along when they first met and Simon was alive. “I can’t expect my mom to accept that everything about me has changed if I can’t tell her why. It wasn’t about you but you were probably the last thing she needed to see to feel like she couldn’t stay silent anymore.” Simon reached for his hand again. They both started walking slowly down the street, towards the Institute Simon had been sneaking into more nights than not.
“So, what are you going to do now?” Alec asked carefully.
Simon shrugged. “I guess I have to stop talking to her.” He’d known since they’d left that was the outcome but it wasn’t until saying it that he realized exactly what that meant. “It’s probably not safe for me to keep popping into her life anyway. Things have been so crazy for us.”
Alec squeezed his hand again. Simon could tell that he wanted to comfort him but there wasn’t really much Alec could say. They both knew that Simon had to let his mom go now or at least, he had to take a big step away.
They walked together in comfortable silence for a few moments longer before Alec finally said, “You know, there’s nothing wrong with liking guys.”
Instantly, a smile was splitting across Simon’s face. He remembered saying something very similar to a muscular insecure man he’d met not that long ago. “That’s what you got out of this conversation?”
Simon could tell Alec blushed without even looking over. “Just — dating criminals and being on drugs, none of that has anything to do with the criminal you brought home just happening to be a man. A big, muscular man with a leather jacket on—” Alec looked down to himself and frowned again. “I probably should have worn a different jacket,” he decided suddenly, sounding guilty.
Despite himself, Simon couldn’t help but laugh. “Your leather jacket is very sexy on you. I’ve always told you so.”
Alec, still frowning, looked up, “Yeah but your mom-”
Simon reached out and gently touched the side of Alec’s frowning face. “My mom doesn’t understand who I am anymore, but that’s not your fault and it’s certainly not your fault for showing up to dinner looking like a very sexy demon slayer.”
Alec leaned into Simon’s hand for a brief second before he nodded. “Well,” Alec’s eyes flickered away like he did when he was a little embarrassed to be speaking, which usually meant that Simon was about to be charmed by whatever was about to come out of Alec’s mouth. “It’s not your fault my mother didn’t like you either.”
Smiling, Simon let his hand drop again. “So, it’s not my fault I’m not some blond haired shadowhunter girl?”
Alec didn’t laugh. When he responded, he was dead serious. “No, it’s not and it’s not your fault I failed to come out to my parents for years and finally did it when you’d have to deal with the cross fire.”
Simon swayed into Alec’s side again, gently bumping his shoulder. “Well, it’s not your fault I didn’t tell my mom that I’m dead and that you’re a shadowhunter.”
This time, Alec laughed softly. “This has to stop. I get it, we’re both guiltless.”
“Exactly. So, let’s go home before my mom chases us down the street.”
Alec’s face scrunched up. “The Institute is our home now?”
“Well, it’s home for now. Until your superiors finally get sick of me sneaking in and kick me out.”
Alec pondered that for a moment. “Maybe we should find an apartment.”
Laughing, Simon agreed. “Maybe.”
Simon hadn’t interacted with Alec’s mother since that faithful day Alec had informed them he was gay and dating a downworlder. Truthfully, Simon had never expected to deal with Alec’s mother again. He thought they’d live their lives awkwardly avoiding eye contact every single time they happened to pass each other in the hall.
Which is why Simon was surprised when there was a knock on Alec’s bedroom door one evening. Simon had been in Alec’s bed, where he’d been since the sun went down a few hours before, waiting patiently for his boyfriend to get back from the mission he was currently on.
Instantly, Simon was thinking the worst. He thought that someone had seen him climb in Alec’s window. He thought the Clave had received reports about a vampire sneaking into the New York Institute and finally came to arrest him when they knew Alec would be gone. He was sure that no matter what happened next, it was about to end with him being hauled off in handcuffs.
Simon wasn’t sure why he opened the door anyway. A better idea probably would have been to wait until Alec got home and let him deal with whoever had been knocking on the door but Simon’s anxious thoughts had him up and opening the door before he could convince himself it was someone even worse than he was thinking now.
On the other side, there were no guards or mighty shadowhunters. Instead, there stood a lone Maryse Lightwood, who looked almost as awkward as Simon felt.
“Uh…” Simon backed up, ready to inform her that Alec wasn’t here and neither was he, thank you very much but Maryse opened her mouth before Simon could disappear back into Alec’s room and hide.
“Isabelle told me about your mother,” Maryse was saying. She spoke without looking at him. She forced the words out as if she had a hard time stomaching them or as if she was nervous, which was almost as unnerving as the sight of her standing there in the first place.
“Oh.” Simon frowned, not understanding where this was going.
“She told me about how she reacted to Alec and about how you decided it was best not to talk to her anymore,” she carried on.
Simon frowned deeper. He hadn’t exactly known Alec’s sister had known those things. He wasn’t upset Alec had told her, but for it to get to Isabelle and now Alec’s mother was more than a bit unsettling. “Yeah, it’s unfortunate,” Simon managed eventually, before he laughed nervously.
He thought they’d make small talk for a second and then Simon would pretend he had something to get back to and Maryse would pretend to believe him. Then, they’d both go their awkward separate ways. Then, Simon would wait until Alec got back before he rushed out everything that happened and just how odd his mother had been.
Instead, Maryse looked up at him for the first time in the entire conversation. She hesitated before she finally spoke again, “Alec cares about you,” she announced fervently. “And I don’t understand your relationship,” she carried on, just as strongly. “Nor do I like it.” She took in a deep breath before she spoke again. “But Alec cares about you,” she repeated, her voice taking on a softer tone. “I’ve never seen him smile as much as he has since he’s met you. So, if you ever need something or you need—” Maryse faltered, pausing for an uncertain moment before she chose to carry on, “If you ever need a mother, I- well, I’m here.”
Simon stared at her, feeling as if he might have hallucinated the entire conversation that just happened. His mind making this up seemed more realistic than Maryse Lightwood standing before him, telling him that if he ever needed something, she would be there for him but when Simon blinked and then, blinked again, she was still standing in front of him, as real as she’d always been.
“That’s very nice of you,” Simon managed out at last. As the words sunk in and he realized that she wasn’t kidding, he became more and more touched and then, he regretted not saying more but Maryse was already nodding.
“Okay then,” she said before she turned on her heels and started to walk briskly back down the hallway she’d come from.
Simon stared after her and almost let her go without another word but at the last second, right before she was about to turn the corner and disappear out of sight, he called out to her. “Maryse!” Simon took a step after her and then paused in the hallway he so rarely breached as she turned to look back at him, frowning this time.
“Thank you,” Simon said before he offered a soft smile. “I care about Alec too, just so you know.”
The tension faded from Maryse’s face. She stared at him for a long moment, considering. “Well, at least we have that in common.” She murmured before she was turning again and disappearing out of sight, leaving Simon once again alone to wait for his boyfriend.
“She just said she’d be there for you?” Alec asked incredulously.
Simon nodded, “Yeah and then I stopped her as she was leaving and I told her I cared about you. She turned back to me and we had like, like a moment! And then she said, ‘Well at least we have that in common’ and then she left!”
Alec frowned. “Are you sure you didn’t make this up?”
“No, I didn’t!” Simon insisted. “It actually happened! Your mom came and talked to me and she was sweet and nice!”
“Maybe, she’s sick,” Alec ventured, only sounding as if he was half kidding.
Simon shrugged. “Well, whatever it is, she should do it more often.”
Alec thought about it before he was nodding again and shrugging with one shoulder. “I guess so. Something’s gotten into her.”
The conversation stopped there as Alec ducked into the shower to wipe the ichor off of him. They talked about it a few times after that but they never came to any conclusion about why Alec’s mother had suddenly turned a new leaf.
It was only a few weeks later, when she announced that the Clave had decided to derune her that things started to make more and more sense. Despite the news being upsetting at first, Alec became closer to his mother than he ever had been and despite it being a little awkward in the beginning, her and Simon forged a bond over their shared love for her son — one that started in earnest after Maryse found herself runeless and without a home.
Months later, Simon would find himself going to Maryse one night when he was missing his mother and Alec was out. Simon didn’t tell Maryse why he stopped by, but he didn’t have to for her to understand and he certainly didn’t have to for her to open the door and let him in.
Neither of them could have ever expected that Simon’s mother would be the one to have a closed mind and that Maryse Lightwood would be the one to come around, but neither he nor Alec would have expected they’d start dating in the first place. Yet, they did.
As Simon grew older, he realized that you couldn’t always predict the way things would go, and that even if things seem unsalvageable, there might still be a way to make it work. He hadn’t found that with his own mother yet, but he was hopeful that he would someday. If not, he still had his boyfriend and more astonishing than that, he still had his boyfriend’s mother.