Work Text:
On a hilltop, two people were settling under a lone tree to rest for the night. They had been on the run from the corruption for quite some time. It is only now that they've managed to catch a break. Not that it helps with their creeping anxiety that the corruption might appear out of nowhere and attack them. They can only relax for a bit.
Pibby dropped onto the ground the moment it felt safe to do so. She lets out a heavy sigh, dropping her bag next to her. Both her legs were trembling. If they had to head out again right now, she wasn't sure if she could even run that far or fast. There's a high chance that she would get caught by the corruption, leaving her partner alone to fend for himself. Not something she wanted to happen to anyone in a situation like this.
So, in her heart, she prayed like she has done at any calm times. She prayed that they will both be safe and be given enough time to recharge their lost energy. Despite how unforgiving the corruption has been so far, she still had hope. For the future, for everything.
It's also times like these that Pibby wonders if they were anyone else like them. Lost and afraid. Finding other people that have experienced the same despair and decided to team up together. She wondered if anyone was willing to try and fine a way to bring everythint back to normal. Given the different scenarios she had seen previously, she knows that not many were that willing. Some were too scared to even face against the danger, others were too reckless and got caught. It's tough to find survivors, more so those who are willing to fight. There are those who followed, but none was able to stay long enough.
Was it the corruption's way of telling them that no matter what they did, it was hopeless?
She hated to admit it, that it certainly had destroy her confidence several times.
The girl took out a journal from her bag. It's a simple, pink notebook that had a lock on it. She had gotten it for several reasons, but none of them were written down. She had instead used it as a diary of sorts. Pibby wrote about what she had gone through, as if she were talking to someone. It certainly helps keep her thoughts in check. She took out a pen and began writing.
'
Hello Diary!
It's me again. Sorry that I haven't been able to record anything lately. We've been chased around multiple times that I didn't have the time. It's always, meet a survivor, try to escape the corruption, they end up getting caught for one reason or another, and we get to escape with our lives. Part of me wonders if we're doing something wrong. We can't tell. We hopped into another world but we're unclear on which universe this is. We haven't met anyone so it's not like we'll figure it out. For now, we're resting on a hilltop!
'
Pibby stopped writing. She wasn't finished with her entry. They are usually two pages long. She stopped because she wanted to know if her partner is doing alright. Blue seemed fine. He was sitted against the tree beside her. He was spacing out. Though, Pibby came to learn that despite anything he does, he's always on a look out. At least, he tries to be. She didn't know how long they have been like this. All she knows is that he's trying to make sure that she takes the least amount of damage possible.
Pibby poked Boyfriend's left arm with her pen. He blinked, snapping out of his thoughts.
"What?" He spoke, looking over to her without much movement.
Boyfriend wasn't much of a talker. He admitted to Pibby about it, when they first met that is. Pibby had wondered why he only talked when necessary. She was glad that he actually listened to every words she says, regardless of it being useless information or not. He quite enjoys listening to her, she learned. Not the point. Apparently he was shy. She began to realise that he started speaking more nowadays. Perhaps he trusted her as much as she did him.
"Oh, uh... Are you going to sleep?" She asked.
"Not really. 'm not tired." He slurred. It's obvious that he was. If anything, the bags that were beginning to show says it all.
Pibby frowned, but did not say anything of it. She fiddled about with her fingers. Her eyes kept darting to Boyfriend and to her own bag.
"Is there something wrong?"
She shook her head vigorously. Though she wasn't looking at him, she could tell he was staring at her. Expectedly. "W-well..."
'Here goes nothing.'
Still refusing to make eye contact, she spoke her mind. "I... I realize that you tend to space out a lot. A lot of thinking I assume. So, uh, I got something for you."
She reached into her bag to pull out a simple, blue notebook with a lock. Similar to the one that she has, just a different colour. She handed it to him.
"What's this for?" He asked, hesitantly reaching out for the book.
"I thought it'll be good for you to write your thoughts down." She could have toned down her enthusiasm a little bit, but she really wanted to help him. Even by a little bit. "To cope?"
"Cope...?"
"Yeah. You don't have to tell anyone about it, so your thoughts aren't readable to anyone but yourself." Considering how Boyfriend is very insistent on convincing Pibby that he's fine, even when it's fairly obvious that he isn't, she knew pressing wouldn't do any good. He is as stubborn as he could be. He probably thought it wouldn't be right to vent his feelings to someone younger than him. Or that he doesn't want her to suddenly have a negative outlook on everything because of him. Not to say that she has a completely positive outlook, but it isn't that bad either.
Boyfriend looked at the notebook. Which is now his. He was about to say something, but Pibby was back to rewriting in her journal. It doesn't feel right for him to interrupt her, so he stayed silent. A split second glint was seen from the bottom of his vision. Out was a pen. He really didn't know when and how Pibby had gotten her hands on these items but, if she's happy about it then there'd no reason for him to do anything.
If she had stolen it somehow then it certainly deserves a lecture of sorts.
Even with what she said, he did not pick up the pen. If Pibby noticed, she said nothing of it. Even when she got tired after finishing up on her writing and looked directly at the pen still laying on the ground. She simply smiled, kept her things and laid on the ground to rest.
...
Boyfriend yawned as he stretched. He had no idea how long he had been awake but it was necessary to keep Pibby alive. Saying he is tired wad an understatement. He felt exhausted, dead even. Yet he is still here, not well, but alive all the same. Even when his eyed attempt to close, he forced them open. The two of them had this system that one of them should be awake for the other to sleep properly. Call him unnecessarily protective, but he didn't like the idea of Pibby looking over him. She should be resting instead of wasting her energy on him.
These feelings that were once foreign had became a part of him. He didn't know when he changed this much. Life changing decisions can really affect someone by a mile. Especially when it is a matter of life or death. He doesn't feel the same as a few days... Months? A year maybe? He lost track. It felt like half a year if he's being honest. Regardless, he knows that he'll never be the same again.
He is not as carefree as people think he is. It just so happened that speaking in 'beeps' allowed him to escape any conversation ever. Usually. His social anxiety makes it hard for him to speak properly to others. He hides his nervousness with a false, confident mask. Everyone believed he spoke like that because he wanted to. Nobody ever managed to find out of his social anxiety. Not even.... Nevermind.
What made him talk to Pibby was the fact that he couldn't risk losing an ally. He tried to talk only when necessary. Like telling her to stay put, or warning her of an incoming enemy. It's only until recently that he decided to talk without necessity. Well, he was still pretty awkward but he is trying his best. Pibby loves to talk, and denying her of a conversation made him feel guilty.
He rubbed his eyes and blinked. His legs unconsciously moved and the journal that he had placed on his lap fell. His hands instinctively moved to grab the book. He ended up staring at it.
Boyfriend never spoke nor showed his inner thoughts. He was too insecure for that. But he found himself considering Pibby's words. To write down his thoughts when it got overwhelming. His eyes were locked on the pen, but his hands refused to pick it up. Yet, his index finger and thumb were twitching. He wanted to believe that writing could bring him even a little bit of salvation. To prevent him from completely losing it. Right now, even looking at the gun Pico threw at him before... 'that' happened is starting to become unbearable. It was the only thing connecting him to his friends and family. He has the mic sure, but that was his and not anyone else's.
Though it gave him protection, he absolutely hated how it looked mocking. It was just a fucking gun. And he felt as if he failed already. He couldn't help anyone that day. Losing literally everything he ever had. He might have even lost the very essence that made him, 'Boyfriend'. His image of himself is starting to shift from 'Boyfriend' to 'Blue'. The name that he introduced himself to Pibby.
Boyfriend is someone who sang/rapped because he loved it. He is someone who enjoys hanging out with his friends despite how his heart would often pound at the thought of interactions. He is practically known to be a little shit who loved to get under people's skin. Not like he had the confidence to actually back it up completely. It was but a false image that everyone fell for. Regardless of everything that has happened to Boyfriend, he was happy at least. He was content with the life he had.
Blue, on the other hand, was quieter. Not even bothered to speak in beeps. He talks in English because it was necessary to survive. He still loved singing/rapping. Sadly, he only ever did that because it keeps him safe from the corruption. He doesn't do it for fun because there's no time to do such things. He had someone to protect. An exception is teaching Pibby, or even sing her lullabies when she is having a bad night, but that's it. He is tired and refuses to sleep. He collapses from time to time, thankfully it happens only when the pair is safe for the rest of their break. It's surprising how he manages to even stay awake for so long. He surprised even himself.
Blue isn't as happy as Boyfriend.
Only feeling enough to continue living onwards. His friends had... They were the only reason why he wasnt corrupted.
Boy-... Blue heard a tap on his notebook. He thought Pibby woke up for a second there. She was still asleep. Confused, his head turns to the notebook. He noticed a small drop of water on the surface. He blinked a little before wiping it off. His vision was strangely blurry, so he rubbed his eyes. Blue took a deep breath to calm himself. Shaky at first, but he managed to control his emotions.
Somehow, his attention keeps shifting to the notebook. Was it the gods that are watching from above telling him to heed his friend's advice? Perhaps. He gritted his teeth, clenching his fist in his own self-hatred.
It wasn't a bad idea. Pibby was only trying to help, so why couldn't he do it? If his inner thoughts told him it was okay, why is he hesitating?
Muttering about how stupid he was being, he shakily picked up the pen. He... Nearly dropped it, but managed to get a grip. Next, he opened the notebook with his left hand. To the first blank page. He stared at it for a solid five minutes. His mind was blank, suddenly unable to think of anything. No, that doesn't sound right. It's more of, he had too many thoughts that they were starting to overlap with one another. He couldn't think straight.
He took the first step by taking the pen.
The the next by opening his notebook.
All he had to do now was write.
It is hard to do something you've never done before. From certain experiences however, he knew that taking the first step is the hardest for most to do. Right now, it still seemed like he hadn't actually took one. Getting the pen and notebook wouldn't matter if he didn't use them. They were mere tools for what he wanted to do.
He breathed in and out, slowly. A sentence formed in his head. With that, he began to write. It wasn't much, but it was a start. He wrote and filled up two pages, marked with today's date.
If Pibby had woken up to a slightly less tense Blue, she didn't question it. Nor did she say anything about the missing pen and notebook that she thought was going to be slipped into her bag. Knowing exactly what happened, she felt the tension in her shoulders that she didn't even know was there, disappear too.