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In the night I sit alone
Lifeless to the world I know
Faith loss long ago
In this graveyard I'm calling home
Carved into the stone
A diary of broken bones and
Words I should've known
The sky was clear, but the night was cold as Xiao sat in the grass in front of his fellow yakshas' graves.
The whispers in his head had long ago become screams, the feeling of bindings never left his body even when fighting, worsening while using his mask.
It was near and he knew.
Nothing anymore could alleviate his very own and personalized torture.
He groaned as pain shot through his head, breaking the delicate silence of the cold air.
Not even wind dared make a peep that night.
Another flare was about to start and he steeled his muscles just in time before it hit him.
A vile and searing pain invaded his whole body, making him choke on his own ragged breath, worse than any other flare ups he had endured since he sat down there in the morning.
His only regret was that he didn't say goodbye to you.
But you knowing what was going on would put you in danger.
He knew you.
He knew you would come and find him, so desperately trying to stop it.
And you would end up dead, likely by his own bloodstained hands when he would eventually lose any shred of sanity left in him.
He just hoped you wouldn't notice him missing until it would already be too late for you to find him.
He wouldn't even leave a body for you to bury.
All that would be left of him would be a gust of corrupted smoke, easily dispersed by the winds.
All his companions met that very end, no matter the means which they used to gain death.
And there were so many times he had thought to join them, to finally be free of this cursed existance.
Yet he was forever indebted to morax, later he felt he couldn't leave you behind on his own accord.
But this grave's too deep to ever make it up
I'd do anything, anything
Just to feel like I could reach the ground
I'd do anything, anything now
To spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound
The screams were now so loud he couldn't hear his surroundings anymore, gripping his hair close to the scalp in blinding pain.
He so wished for you to hold him, to hear your voice, to be there with him.
For once in his disgraced and long life he actually wanted to survive.
He didn't deserve the happiness and serenity you had brought him, your sunshine smile.
Yet he wanted it, yearned for it with every single fiber of his being.
He wanted you, wanted to stay by you until you inevitably took your last breath.
But now he wasn't convinced he would outlive you anymore.
And for the first time he tried with all the strength to fight the curse.
To push it down as far as he could so he could see you one last time.
I'm alive
But I'm barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
I'm alive
But I'm barely breathing now
So drag my lungs into the ground
Lay me down
Something was terribly wrong.
Xiao wasn't at the inn.
He wasn't at Zhongli's either.
He wasn't with the traveller.
He didn't answer your calls.
You had turned upside down almost all of liyue and night had long fallen.
It was freezing cold, but you didn't care as you walked briskly on the dirt path.
You didn't know where it was, but at this point you were sure you would find him in a place linked to his dead fellow yakshas.
You checked all the ruins from Zhongli's stories, racing against time.
The more the night progressed the more agitated you grew, until you heard a scream and all birds flew away from the trees in a big flock.
You felt your blood freeze for an instant as you tried to discern the origin of the sound.
It was then that you felt it, the festering corruption.
And it dawned on you.
"Xiao!" you screamed his name as you ran in the direction you thought was right.
The clearing you reached was creeping full of corruption.
You saw him, writhing in pain in front of what looked like tombstones.
Your heart squeezed in your chest.
This was the place he had chosen to die.
Alone.
In the night I sit alone
The stars rain on the world below
Beg me to explode
But these dreams I keep are nowhere to be found
I'd do anything, anything just to stop
This weight from pressing down
I'd do anything anything now
To spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound
You knelt in front of him slowly, eyes burning with tears.
Through his muddled sight he recognized your figure, but couldn't get a word out as stabs of pain stole his breath.
I'm alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
I'm alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So drag my lungs into the ground
Lay me down
"I'm here!" you wanted to say it with confidence so badly, but it was wobbly and weak.
What could you possibly do?!
In a panicked attempt you grabbed him by the shoulders and activated your vision, pushing as much energy as you could towards him.
The blood curling scream he let out when you hands touched his skin made you almost retract with your heart in your thoat, but you repressed the awful feeling, biting your lower lip so hard it drew blood.
You knew it, your healing wasn't enough, it would never be enough to purify the evil and damnation that was stuck on the adeptus now for millennia.
"Please please please please" you muttered.
Suddenly a light started shining through your utility belt and a token came free out of one of the pouches.
You recognized it immediately.
It was a gift of cloud retainer for helping her.
A powerful amulet she said, but even though no one had ever been able to activate it, it was enough to ward off monsters and keep you safe.
That was the reason she had given it to you.
It all became pitch black, your body lost it's weight and your mind lost the time.
It all came back as quickly with a rushing force, that threatened to knock you over.
But you no longer were in front of the tombstones, honding onto Xiao for dear life.
There were screams, fire, panic thick in the air.
Blood flying in all directions and creatures and humans alike flocked in one spot, writhing furiously and being sent reeling back with brand new wounds but with more viscious hatred.
Amidst all of the chaos was him, swinging the polearm like it was second nature.
Like his body mooved on it's own and for a moment you could see a flash of horror pass through his amber eyes behind the mask.
You found you still held onto the amulet.
A breath came in and out of your mouth before you stepped forward.
You dragged away creatures, kicked humans and wrangled against black masses.
Struggling and crying in frustration as you made little progress.
"Xiao!" you screamed.
Deep enough so that I'll never feel again
Far beneath any chance at breaking skin
I'm giving in
Your hand reached for his as he became increasingly buried in the mass of bodies, no longer able to repel them, the mask cracking.
You pushed as hard as you could, desperation was the only fuel left as the masses crushed your lower half and took away your breath.
All the promise of smiles and happiness
That's a dream I'm not willing to admit
I'm not ready yet
To face regret
No I'm not ready yet
I'm not ready yet
No..
No..
No..
And your hand finally reached his, gripping for dear life on his bloodstained glove.
I'd do anything now
So spread these wings somehow
I scream these words so loud
But they never make a sound
The mask broke.
The amulet shone brighter and brighter.
I'm alive
But I’m barely breathing now
So place my heart under the ground
Lay me down
You snapped back to reality, sweat dripping from your forehead, chills biting your body.
You gulped and finally looked at Xiao.
Your heart sank as you watched his pale form, head thrown back, still as stone.
He gasped and screamed lurching forward as he furiously gripped and scratched at his shirt.
You hadn't realized a shocked sound had escaped your lips until he turned to you in a panic and shook you to get your attention.
"Oh thank the arcons!" you cried.
Your eyes burned with hot tears as you tried your best to still his shaking body and calm him down.
"It's fine, you're okay now, I'm okay" you quickly said, taking his hands in yours.
You gently tugged at his arms and brought him to your chest.
Xiao immediately responded to the hug, holding onto you like he was scared you would run away that instant.
His face was hidden in the crook of your neck, but you could feel his shoulders shake with silent sobs as you gently rubbed circles on his back.
Slowly, his breath steadied and his body stilled in your arms.
I'm alive
But I'm barely breathing now
Tread my lungs into the ground
"Rest, I'll be here. You're okay now"
Lay me down