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Tony hadn’t had the best experiences with love when he was a child. His upbringing hadn’t exactly been ideal.
His view on love was thus constructed based on some toxic mannerisms, leaving him thinking love was something conditional, something you had to earn.
The first time his dad had taken him down to the lab to try and teach him something, he had stood back at the top of the staircase quicker than he could express his wonder. This left him doubting himself, wanting to know what he had done wrong.
When he tried to voice these thoughts to his mother, she had said he should just ignore it and move on.
However, it wasn’t that simple for a kid his age to shove it all aside. The feeling kept nagging at him, never once stopping. The process repeated itself every time his father took him to something, the older genius seemingly getting annoyed at the mere thought of being in his presence.
He had asked the same question he had his mom to Jarvis, hoping for an answer that would ease his worries.
‘Your father is a smart man and with being that smart comes a burden. Not everyone understands the way he thinks. That makes communication that much harder, young Sir.’ The butler had said. ‘I know he makes you sad with the way he acts around you, but try not to take it personally. I’m sure that there is a reason for his actions.’
Tony decided that Jarvis had been right, as he almost always was. But he kept having doubts about the relationship he had with his father.
That was until the parent in question, whilst being drunk for the umpteenth time, threw a glass bottle at his head, barely missing him. Fear ridden he had run up the stairs and shut the door of his room, not coming out until the morning.
He had been 10 years old at the time.
---
‘Dad?’ Tony’s hesitant question rung through the air. ‘Dad, what are you doing?’
The man in question could be seen sitting on the couch, empty beer bottles scattered throughout the room. A half empty bottle of Whisky was standing on the table in front of him.
With glass in hand the figure stood up. ‘Come here boy! I’m talking to you! Don’t just stand there, you good for nothing piece of shit! You want to ruin me don’t you? I told Maria, but she just didn’t want to listen. I should’ve gone ahead and put you up for adoption anyway.’
The young boy stood stiffly in the door opening, shocked at what he had just heard his father say.
The older seemed to get more mad as the seconds ticked by, no sound to be heard.
‘I said come here!’ Came the thundering reply. The next thing the smaller Stark knew, was the half empty bottle of Whisky being thrown at his head, shattering just above him on the wall.
He ran, and didn’t dare look back.
---
After that particular incident he had tried to stay as far from the man as possible, hoping to avoid the man altogether.
---
Then he had been told to go to college. They said, and by they he means his dad, that he could do so much more if he just put some effort into it. But trying to achieve the things his dad wanted him to, came with having to give up any chance of a normal life.
College was more stimulating for him than high school could have ever been, but that was to be expected. Tony, being the kid of a genius, had been passed down all of his old man’s brains. Making him just as smart as the man, if not smarter.
MIT was great, both exactly what he needed and something he should’ve been kept from a bit longer. He was challenged intellectually, through the amount of work he was doing all at once and was having a better time than he could have ever had at home. The downside of it all, were the parties. The alcohol served there made for a perfect distraction for his problems and the world around him.
Just like that, James Rhodes found him, sitting propped up against a tree drunkenly babbling into the nothingness.
That was the start of that problem, for as far as he was concerned.
Drinking relieved him of all the pent up stress, it made him relax for a while. His addiction to alcohol made him realize he couldn’t really blame Howard for being drunk for so much of the time, given he was doing it too, now.
‘Come on man. Why do you have to do that to me, still? You really should be thanking me for this. Now, get of your ass.’ The disappointment in his friends voice brought up some guilt.
He didn’t want to do this to the older teen, but this was the only way he really knew how to cope.
Looking back on it, deciding that forgetting about his problems was more important than his friend, hadn’t been one of his brightest ideas. And it was only the start of his chain of unhealthy coping mechanisms.
First came the alcohol, of course. Followed swiftly by the one night stands. On to the list was later also added his tendency to have binge sessions that entailed working on various projects.
‘I’m sorry.’ His quiet response made the older sigh.
‘I love you man, but you got to stop.’ Came the reply.
All of it took a turn for the worse when his parents died, leaving a huge legacy and a position as CEO that was impossible to fulfill for the young Stark. It was his luck that made sure he didn’t have to take on that role immediately, Howard having appointed Obadiah Stane as stand-in until he was twenty-five years of age. This also made it so much easier to keep drinking and fucking the night away.
There was however light at the end of the tunnel, this in the form of one Virginia Potts.
The woman was a force to be reckoned with, her fiery temper and no-bullshit attitude being examples of this. She was the first person that could get close to keeping him in check.
She helped him tremendously, for one by never giving up on him. Especially after the more recent events in Afghanistan, leaving him with severe anxiety.
---
The door of his lab opened, showing a tired Pepper Potts.
‘Ms. Potts, what can I do for you today?’ He discarded the pieces of suit in front of him in favor of turning around and looking at the woman.
The answer came quickly. ‘Mr. Stark, I have some papers that I need you to sign for me. As fast as possible, please.’
‘We both know that’s going to take a while, Pep. Anything else?’ Tony turned back around, so he was facing his bench.
‘Actually, yes. JARVIS tells me it’s been exactly,’ She looks at her wristwatch, ’38 hours and 28 minutes since you last ate something, or slept for that matter. Wouldn’t you want to come up to grab a bite and take a nap first?’
A sigh comes from the billionaire. ‘Still got a lot to do, papers that need to be signed and all that.’ He gives her a look.
‘Well, it’s a shame that it’s not a question, Mr. Stark. You wouldn’t want me to have to tell Rhodey would you, now?’
Putting down the wrench he was using not moments before, he stated, ‘Coming.’
---
But, yeah. Tony hadn’t really had the best experiences with love.
The one person that had made him decide to leave the alcohol in the cabinet for the rest of his life, though, was Peter Parker. A boy he was honored to be able to call his son. He was sure he couldn’t express how grateful he was for the boy, even if he tried.
He thought very highly of the kid, telling everyone his recent success with sobriety had been due to the Parker boy. And while that wasn’t entirely true, it wasn’t a lie either.
Discovering Spider-Man might have been the best thing to ever happen to the genius.
Peter came into his life, bringing a beacon of hope, while simultaneously lighting up his life. The paternal feeling the teen left him with, made him want to be the best he could possibly be. He started by pouring all of the alcohol stored in his lab down the drain.
Step by step he improved, starting to see more ways he could improve and try to work those into his daily routine.
He promised himself he would do anything and everything possible to assure he could be the best version of himself possible. This included willingly going to see a therapist, which Rhodey and Pepper described as a miracle and a godsend.
And he hoped he could one day be the dad his brilliant kid deserved.
Even if he had to work for it.