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He fucked up and he fucked up bad. What was he thinking? He couldn't do this. He couldn't take them down. He was so fucked. God, everything ached. He drew in ragged breaths as he stumbled into a phone booth, desperately searching his pockets for a spare quarter. He muttered, "Oh thank god-", as he drew one from his pocket. He pushed it into a money slot and called the first number he could think of.
"Hello? Who is this?" A Russian voice spoke from the other side of the line and Curt sighed in relief, clutching at his side.
"T-Tatiana. I- I fucked up." He drew in a ragged breath, vision blurry. He could vaguely hear the sound of leather moving as Tatiana presumably sat up.
"Curt. What did you do? Tell me right now Mega or I swear to God-"
"I fucked up badly. I thought-" He winced as he leaned against the booth. "I thought I could do this. Could take Chimera down. Could do it by myself."
"Curtis, what are you on about? We destroyed the compound. Chimera is-"
"There was more than one compound-"
Now the tone was more angry. "What? What did we talk about Curt?! What did we talk about? You don't just run off into danger without telling somebody first!"
"I told mom!" He protested.
"Your mother is not a viable source. Curt, you should have told me before I left. I would've been able to help you." She sighed. "But enough of that. You sound hurt, where are you?"
"Russia. Moscow. Next to the big monument thingy." God he couldn't think straight right now. Everything felt wrong. He felt faint. He blinked slowly, pulling his hand away from his and saw it stained with red. "Blood-" He noted faintly.
"Дерьмо. I'll be there as soon as I can. Just hang on-" And that's all he heard before everything went black and his body slumped to the floor.
The next time Curt woke up, he woke to a patterned ceiling. He blinked up at it in slight confusion, wincing a little with each breath he took. "So you're finally awake?" Tatiana's voice asked from her seat diagonally across from him.
"Tati-" He breathed before attempting to push himself up into a sitting position.
"Ah-!" She tutted. "Lay back down Curtis. You are not moving from that couch. Don't even think about it."
Curt huffed a little and let himself lay back. "Yes mom … Thank you for helping me."
Tatiana sighed a little and softened. "Of course Curt. You're my friend." The seat groaned underneath her as she got up and headed over to him, sitting beside him instead. "I'm worried about you. Talk to me Curtis." She took his hand in her own and gently stroked her thumb against his knuckles. "Let me in."
Curt sighed, suddenly feeling vulnerable. She always made him feel this way. Like he could talk about anything with her but God was it so hard to open up. He was so used to doing it by himself, especially the past four years, opening up was difficult. He felt like he would break apart any minute. So what was the next best thing to do? Throw himself back into his work, even if he wasn't working for the service anymore. He wasn't even drinking that much anymore. It was- he just needed… Curt sighed. "There's more than one compound. Owen told me. He thought we wouldn't be able to catch up with them. That we couldn't stop them moving forward with their plans. They haven't yet but…"
"If we don't take them out then it could be a possibility." Tatiana sighed. "But why is that your problem, hm? Did you tell Cynthia about it?" Curt nodded. "See, I'm sure the service will figure something out. You don't need to rush off into danger Curtis." She reached over to gently stroke his hair from his face. "You can finally relax, no? You're free to do whatever you want to do."
Curt's heart twisted in his chest and rose in his throat. "But- but what can I do? I- I never thought about what I could do other than spying. I'm just- I'm supposed to be a spy. I was meant to be a spy-"
"You were meant to be safe. You were meant to enjoy your time on earth. You were meant to be okay, but… you aren't, are you?" Tatiana asked, looking at him with such intensity and understanding that Curt had to turn away, gnawing at his cheek. She sighed and patted his hand a little before standing up and heading over to the kettle to make some tea. "I think you haven't been okay for a while. You do your best to keep yourself afloat. You throw yourself into spying again and again. One day you're going to break, you know that right?" She asked, looking over at him, worry in her eyes. "One day it's going to be too much and you won't come back from it. I'm worried that if you keep going on like this then that might be sooner rather than later."
Curt thought about it as he listened to the kettle boil. The silence after her speech filled up the room, engulfing them in it. How did she do it? She always saw right through him. He wasn't sure how to respond. He could joke about it. Humour was always a good way to avoid things. He did that a lot. Too much. He couldn't think of anything humorous to say. No quick quip came to mind. He couldn't escape it this time. Couldn't run from the truth when it had been spoken so openly. Curt tasted copper and decided to stop biting his cheek. God he hated the taste of blood. Every single punch he ever took always left his jaw aching and sometimes made his lip bleed. Lips take far too long to heal and for the first day of it healing, he hated that he could taste his blood when he ran his tongue across it. He should probably stop getting punched in the face.
Curt sighed and Tatiana stepped into view again, holding two mugs in her hands. "Here let me help." She set the mugs of tea down on the coffee table and helped him up into a sitting position. God he hated burdening people. He hated making them help him. It was so stupid. So stupid to need help. He should be able to do it all by himself. It only got people hurt in the long run. How long would it be before Tatiana got hurt too? "There we go." She offered a small smile and handed a cup of tea to Curt.
"Thanks" He muttered before taking a sip of the hot drink. God he must look so pathetic right now. He hated feeling this vulnerable. He hated that he could feel her eyes on him, waiting for him to talk about it. He hated that he could feel himself start to crack.
"No problem." She smiled slightly, taking a small sip of her own before getting serious again. "You don't have to tell me everything right now but- I'm here for whenever you're ready." She looked at him earnestly. "I'll always be ready."
Curt sighed and looked out the window, unable to bring himself to look at her as he admitted quietly, "I need help…"
"What do you need?"