Chapter Text
“Hahahahahaha-”
“Tsukauchi-”
“Hahaha- haha-”
“Tsukauchi-”
“Hahaha- haha- hahaha-”
“Naomasa!” Aizawa barked out, annoyed. He ducked his head down into his capture weapon to hide his embarrassed flush, even though there was no one in the teachers lounge this late on a Friday to see him. No, no one around, just the hysterical laughter from his phone ringing through the silence. It wasn’t that funny.
“Look, are you going to help or not?” he grumbled.
“No! I mean- I’ll- haha, I’ll help,” the detective stuttered out breathlessly between laughter.
“It’s not that funny,” Aizawa sighed.
Tsukauchi snickered, finally starting to reign in his amusement. “It is, though. Just a little?” he prodded.
“I just want them to understand the consequences-” Aizawa started exasperatedly.
“Oh there’s consequences now. Are there~?”
“And know what to do if they encounter one on the field,” Aizawa plowed through. “Knowing these hellions it’ll be sooner rather than later. At least they all have they’re provisional licenses now, so that won’t be a problem.”
Tsukauchi hummed noncommittally. The other side was quiet for a moment, before he started in a very smug tone. “I hope you know this class is karma for all the stress and paperwork you give me-”
“I do my paperwork-” Aizawa protested.
“Yeah now,” the detective breathed out exasperated. “I think I’ve still got some unfilled reports from-”
“Thanks Nao-nii. I’ll see you Monday.”
“Oi! Brat-”
Aizawa hung up. Hopefully, he’d cool off over the weekend and by Monday Tsukauchi would be willing to be professional again. Aizawa stared at his phone for a second declining the call coming in to no doubt get back to complaining about (and laughing at) him. Maybe he should bring some coffee to the station after his shift.
He thought back to the half-sarcastic nickname and winced. Yeah, bringing coffee was definitely a good idea.
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It was 4am. Aizawa had already been on patrol for six hours and had another two to go. Instead of jumping right back on to the streets as he’d normally do after dropping someone off (if he even bothered to bring them to the station at all and didn’t leave them tied up in an alley- that is not proper protocol! Damn it, Eraser!) he was instead standing in front of the detective’s desk waiting for acknowledgement.
Tsukauchi was dutifully filling out a report, or at least that’s what Aizawa had thought, five minutes ago, but there was no way that paper could be taking so long. The other had to be messing with him and he refused to fidget because he was not nervous, thank you very much.
Finally, with a sigh, Tsukauchi’s eyes flickered up, once to him then to the warm cup of premium coffee on his desk then to the completed stack of indecent reports next to it and back again.
He took the coffee and sipped it slowly, assessing the flavor even as he scanned the reports briefly for completeness. Tsukauchi nodded once. “Apology accepted, I’ll see you Monday.”
Aizawa sighed, unconscious tension draining out of him. “Have a good night, Detective,” Aizawa said, turning to leave with a nod.
“Same to you, Eraserhead,” Tsukauchi answered. Then quietly, to himself, after his office door had swung shut. “Stay safe, Problem Child.”
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“Oooo more coffee. I thought you’d already bribed me, Eraser?” Tsukauchi asked, taking the steaming mug off the hero-teacher’s desk and draining half of it in one go.
From where he was cocooned behind his desk Aizawa cracked an exhausted eye open and stared blankly at the far too innocent expression on the other’s face. After a slow blink Aizawa just closed his eyes again and let out a sigh that surprisingly didn’t expel his soul with it.
“Oh my god, ohmygod,” Hizashi whispered semi-frantically. “Nem, someone just took Sho’s coffee and lived .”
The R-rated hero just nodded equally dumbstruck, staring at the vaguely familiar plain, tan wearing man. Said man turned around and smiled placatingly at them, even as both their eyes were fixed on the ‘It’ll be a pawfect day’ mug in his hand.
“Present Mic, Midnight,” he greeted. “It’s nice to see you again. I think we talked after the USJ in a professional capacity, but I’m not sure we’ve been officially introduced-”
“No, nope,” Aizawa said hurriedly, somehow already out of his sleeping bag and standing between them without anyone having noticed him get up. “I’ve put off this meeting for 15 years, no reason to break that record today,” Aizawa said, trying to hustle the other out of the room.
Tsukauchi dodged around his prodding expertly. “Come on, Eraser,” he needled. “Isn’t it time you introduced me to your husband . This is what you get for not inviting me to your wedding-”
“You were busy- ” Aizawa did not whine.
“You could have at least sent an invite-!” Tsukauchi cried out indignantly as he was pushed out the door.
“That’s illogical. I knew you’d be in America-” Aizawa’s argument was cut off as the door to the teachers’ lounge swung shut leaving a very bewildered group of teachers behind.
“Wait,” Nemuri narrowed her eyes. “Was that and I quote ‘that police bastard who’s always trying to tell me how to do my job’?”
Hizashi’s eyes widened, before he screeched, “That was Nao-nii!?!”
Down the hall, laughter echoed.
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Aizawa winced as Hizashi’s shout bounced down the corridor. Tsukauchi, the bastard, just laughed at him.
“I hate you,” he grumbled. “You’re the devil incarnate, the reason villain’s get d-” the detective pulled a full to-go cup of coffee out of nowhere and passed it over “ dde etained! and appropriately punished through due process. I love you, you’re a literal angel,” Aizawa said, greedily taking a sip of the coffee and relishing the hot burn down his throat. It was just to his taste, black and with enough caffeine to give the uninitiated a heart attack.
(It was a 50-50 shot for if it’d actually been made with him in mind or not, after all he had gotten his coffee preferences from one overworked beat cop turned detective).
“So,” Tsukauchi started, “is there a lesson plan you want to share or…?”
Aizawa sighed. “Give me a minute to calm the class down and introduce the topic, then you can come in.”
“Hmmm,” Tsukauchi agreed. “Sounds good.”
Arriving at the classroom door, Aizawa took another sip of coffee. He spared a glance at the mug still in the detective’s hand but at the other’s raised eyebrow simply sighed.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Well, he thought, sliding the door open, too late to back out now .