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Skip was ridding in his monster truck cause he has one. It was a very cool one with menacing bones and diamonds on the windshield to show he was rich and flame patterns on the wheels. He was driving it around and everyone stopped and starred at him and admiring how awesome he looked, thought he acvidentally run over a few cars too but they had noone inside and he said “Sorry!” after so it was probs okay.
Suddenly, a phone call came! He pulled over on the sidewalk to take the call since you should never call people while driving lol!
“Hello who is this?” asked Skip, drinking a beer from his drink holder.
“Skip-senpai!” Sonia squaked over the phone. “I felt like having a VERY special Christmas with you this year so I...booked a CRUISE SHIP for us! It’ll be for a week and they have big parties and casinos!”
“Awesomeeeee!” Skip replied. “Whens it happening?”. “In a few hours! Let’s go!” Sonia said and they exchanged their Love yous before they hung up and Skip drove back home to pack up and leave, running over more cars and some old peeps while doing so cause he’s in a RUSH! He came back and parked his truck in the shed and packed up his stuff, which included his fancy suits and missletoes and also his Switch which had only Doom Eternal cause it was a manly gane for a manly guy like him and he was real good at speedrunning it and shooting up the bad guys real fast too.
“Alright lets go!” he then said and then Sonia met him and then they sexed for a bit under the missletoe to get into the hot and heavy Christmas mood that felt sorta good and then they got going to the cruise.
Meanwhile in Bede’s house!
Bede was sleeping in inside his house and so was Hop since he moved in after they first kissed. But then a noise disturbed and waked him up! The noise came from a short dude in the neighbourhood with a mustanche and glasses who was carrying around a real noisy suitcase. Bede felt quite grumpy so he tried to use mine control to quite him down but he was still sleepy so he used his Heartmax power by accdent and the dude got quiet...but it’s cause he died!
“Damn!” Bede yelled as he ran down to hide the body otherwise the neighbours might find that scary but then, something dropped out of the dude’s pocket that he noticed! So he picked it up, an it was a ticket to the same cruise Skip’s going on. And there were two of them so he could bring Hop too! Then he noticed that the second ticket had the dude’s wife’s name on it and Hop doesn’t look like a wife so Bede knew, he had to think of a way to get him in. The wife then walked in and he said “It was an accident lol” and she believed him since he no longer looks like a creepy guy (Remember, he straighterned his hair so dint look that way no more lol!) so he went back to his house.
“Hey muffin boy!” Bede cheerily called and Hop came bouncing over. “What is it, my white haired wonder?” asked Hop, and they hugged. “I got some cruise tickets from a dude and the ship’s gonna go in a few hours so we need to pack! And also you need to dress like a laddy!”
“Awesome!” yipped Hop, doing a yippy hoppy dance. “But how will I dress as a laddy?”. Bede did a trustworthy grin and went “Easy, I could sneak you into a casino and I can sneak you in a ship too!”, and that made Hop trust him. He pulled him into the bathroom where he got some laddy cloths and started to dress him up!
When he was done, Hop stepped out to look himself up! He was now wearinga thin white leather jacket with no fluffy stuff on it unlike his usual one and a blue dress with fancy swirly patterns on it like curtains. On his legs where some black stockings and kiddie flats. He also wore one of those cool Asia hats which are wide and had long veils to cover his face and he was happy!
“WHOA! Im a laddy now like in the animes and LoL! WOOOHOOOOOOOOO!” Hop woohooed and he and Bede did a high five then they left!
Now, at the ferry dock!
Skip and Sonia got there and they did a long check in thing that I’m not gonna get into cause it was quite long and boring and you probably won’t be interested in that stuff but after that! They got on! The cruise was all fancy inside with staircases and carpets and also some chandelliers. In another part of it, Bede was there with Hop as a woman and they managed to get past very easy and got on it also. He was being amazed everywhere because of how fancy it all was while Bede was once again looking towards...the casino!
Skip and Sonia walked into their room which was a honeymoon suite even though they were not in a honeymoon and it was real comfy and luxury, perfect for being in live and making some love too ;)! Bede and Hop got the dead dude’s room which wa s just a normal room cause the dude wasn’t all that rich but it did have some drinks in the frige that were probably free and Hop went right to town on even though he wasn’t in town but on a cruise ship!
The boat then started to...move! As it did Hop felt sick from all the sea and was about to toss his cookies again but he managed to do it at the balcony and the cookies he tossed fed all the fish and seagulls below and they stopped taking other cruise guest’s free bread baskets.
So then not much is happening now so let’s jump over to the evening because that when all the bars and casinos ooen up!
Skip adn Sonia were kissing and sexing under the mistletoe and holly and it warmed up the room like a fireplace in a white Christmas except Skip’s not white I think but Sonia is and so it was more like a gray Christmas. Or maybe it was more like a half-white and half not Christmas. You decide!
Then they realised, they had to get dinner! So Sonia had to get dressed again as she was naked and got into a red and white striped dress like a candy cane and wore red boots with white fluff on them unlike Hop’s jacket right now and a Santa hat hairpin. Skip got out his red suit with a sparkly green tie and a silver earring with a cross on it and he wore it sideways so it looked even cooler and he also got a golden cane and a glasses to make him look more fancy for the occasion.
They both went to an elevator from the top floor to the dinner area and there, they saw Bede and Hop! Bede turned to see the and went “Skip!”.
“Hey Bede! And who’s the chick you have with you here?” asked Skip, pointing at the real short laddy with a veil and dress.
Bede was all car eful about letting people know of Hop so he thought and replied “Oh! That’s my sister who came to visit, she’s called, Hop...e! Her name is Hope.”
“Oh, okay! Hope you have a good time with Hope! Nice I made a pun lol” Skip waved as they got off to the floor and went to have a buffet with lots of turkey for the peeps who missed Thanksgiving and eggnog and other Christmas things dudes eat to celebrate Christmas. When the waiter came to take their orders, Skip looked at the waiter, and he was...Tom!
“Hi lol I just got this job, so what are your orders maam and mister?” asked Tom as he whipped out his clipboard with an old timy pen.
“My chumboy!” Skip greeted. “I would like a turkey dinner eith some fig pudding and a choccy cake!”. Tim scribbled it down and went and got his food and Skip and Sonia enjoyed it!
Meanwhile, Bede and Hop stayed and got off to...the bar! They both felt thirst and so they ordered a drink first before they made money! When the drinks got to be a little to expensive for him Bede picked up Hop as he was too short to be seen at the counter to show him off and the bar people went “aww” at him and they got them for free. Bede’s drink was a neon blue and purple martini with olives and Hop’s was the same but with pink instead of blue because the bar people thought he was a girl!
And so after they finished the drinks they got drunk and then started to make the money! Bede headed to the slot machines and plugged in his wizard brain like an iPhone to control the machine to give him the big money and put a phone on his head so the other dudes who walked by think he was just charging a phone in his big hair so it was okay. He got lots of 777s and jackpots it was crazy! But then some dudes got suspicios from him winning all the time and Bede didn’t feel like kill more dudes so he just grinned and told them to get good and they walked away. And then he Heartmax them anyway cause he was a troll dude and did a trollface.
SKIP barged into the bar after he heard the sound of all the winning coming from here and yelled “My chum, don’t leave me out of this!” and ran while Sonia sighed lollfully.
Bede turned to see him and did lol and said “Bring it on, boy!” and then won more! Skip used Speedmax to speed up his wins and then he started to win all the money too!
“Ahh!” yelled Bede. “But I shell win faster!”. and used mind control on everyone on the floor to gamble on the machines too and he was starting to win more again as everyone else won the jackpots and spent their money for him! Except the kids because that would be a bit mean. He also made a few guy craft him a throne of silvers which he sat in and pour him a bottle of wine to sip as he basked in the glitters of his spoils.
Skip then got the Spacetimemax band and thought “Change time and space to make me the luckiest man in the world!” and it did! Skip was playing on thirty seven machines at the same time, one with each finger, and he was winning so much and he got so lucky he didn’t just win 777s but also 888s and 999s! He also made a better throne out of space time and it was made of GOLDS and swords lik in the Game of Throws and it felt all pokey but he was hot enough to melt the pokey swords before his butt sat on them. He also stopped time to go to the Greasy Gods and Zoos grated him by giving him all there ambrosa in a cup and it was like wine but better cause it was tastier and also made him immoral which was probs better than just getting drunk.
Then all the machine ran out of money and also it was burying the other dudes so the two lolled it off and called it a tie for now.
Okay, now that’s enough of all that messing around, the REAL Christmasy plot comes...now!
Tom was finished with his shit as the waiter and he had some showers and put back on his usual hoodie and pants until tomorrow. The truth was, he had only gotten the job for one reason, and that one reason was...to find the lenegndary CHRISTMAX BAND! He pulled out a map and remembered what he heard at the bar back in Chapter 16 cause there was something that was not mrntioned in that chap that happened while we were focusing on Skip!
Flashback to that time!
As Skip was having his good sexy moments with the stripers and having his cheesecake, Tom was challenging his sis Tam to a drinking contest but as he did and got drink all over himself his ears perked up to what a fancy man and woman were saying in one of the tables in the back!
The man was sipping a wine and mumbled “You know, legends have told of a relic so full of cheer that is the origin of Christmas itself! People have onely come up with the idea of Santa to explain what it does every Winter!” The woman leaned in curious and asked “Whoa, then it must be awesome. What is it called?”.
The man did another sip and replied “Its real name is unknown but peeps have called it the Chrismax band and it could do many jolly things on that day like creating endless candy canes and wreaths and also make hot chocolates with mistletoes! It is said to be found in Kalos but who knows I’m drunk and can’t remember stuff”
The couple walked away after the man had his wine but hearing that made Tom wonder! If he manage to discover it everyone would want it for Christmas and he could get real famous and get all the celebrity laddies for himself similar to Skip who has done sex on many of those laddies.
Flashback to now!
Tom scribbled some notes and drew red Xs to mark the densidation with a Sharpie like a pirate looking for his gold and where he was right now with some dots between to measure and the cruise will be arriving tomorrow so he was all pumped up! “I, TOMATHY CHRISTOPHER EASTON, am ready for making the BEST discovery Christmas has ever witnessed!” yelled Tom to himself and then put his stuff away. He went to the dom room on a bunked bed on top of a butler with a beard who snores a lot.
The next morning, the boat suddenly stopped because it was in Kalos now and it work everyone back up. When the ladder thing from the ship lowered to the dick, everyone on it jumped out! Tom jumped out too bot he realised that his boss expects him to stay, so he had to get the sleeping beardy butler guy below him and dressed him in his work cloths and put his name tag on him and went out the secret exit!
Skip was on one of those nice tourists bus with no roof and he was posing with his cane and a tiger for his Instagram and he put some fikters to spiff them up and they got liked so much that the app had to close down for good because the severes couldn’t handle all the liking and comments! He sighed and flipped away his phone to enjoy the view, which was a lot of trees that later become building and cities and roads with people on them decorating them for Christmas as they put wreaths and ornaments on office doors and trees on the sidewalk and stop signs.
What he didn’t know was...Tom was looking at his map behind him! The bus got to where the red X was and so he broke out the window and rolled out to look for what he wanted most! The bus driver though it was another car behind him crashing so he didn’t mind and so did everyone else. Tom was in his explorer outfit like Indian Jones because he was on an EXPLODATION!
He wandered into some ruins and like Indian Jones also he went through and nicely dodged many trapped places like collapsing corridoors and flaming walls and booby trapped rooms with sadly no boobies but it did have hidden upside down snakes and hungry Tasmanian badgers which Tom distracted by cooking cheese curry to them as he had gotten real good at that during the Winter.
After some snooping around the trees and bushes in the ruins, he had finally found a weird looking temple with a bunch of Aztec symbols and pictures on it and a bunch of stiras to the top of the temple! Tom shook off one of the snakes biting on his pants and had to walk up two steps instead of one in case of any traps and because the stairs was so long and finally he got there! And on the pillar on top was...the glowing CHRISTMAX band! He used his Inteloeon to smash the pillar in case it was trapped too and it was and it shot arrows at it which was a bummer but it was a spare one he picked up from a Dynamax den so it was ok.
He got the band which he had to pick up and slipped it on! It was a real comfy fit on his skinny wrists and he was ready to make a Christmasy time like no other. Then he got out and got back onto the bus by jumping into the broken window and onto his seat to appreciate the view.
Hop who was sitting on Bede’s lap turned around from the seat next to him and saw him and went “Hey! Aren’t you supposed to be a waiter or something!”. Tom did a weird smile and replied “Oh I just worked so well last night that the boss allowed me to join the bus and have a day off!”. “NICE, good job bro!” Hop said. “You do sound like a boy for being a little girl though!” lolled Tom and Bede’s eyes suddenly got shocked and di a shush motion at Hop.
As Tom was admiring and spinning his shiny new band on his finger to feel cool, Skip noticed him while Sonia was asleep and wondered “Hm, Tom looks very unusually happy today! I wonder if something cool has happened to him like getting a sexy laddy or maybe the lottery lol!”. He did this for the rest of the ride and then they got back onto the ship!
Next day the same thing happened. As everyone returned to their rooms after a long day out, Bede noticed and starred at Tom as he went back to the dorm and noticed the band that he had never seen before on him!
“Is that the Rosemax band that nearly got us killed a few days ago!” Bede whispered in anger as it looked similar to that and before Tom did anything else, he, still in a panic threw Hop at him who went “AHHHHHHHHHH” and knock him down! He got out a empty bottle and smashed it on the carpet to make it scarier and held it at Tom.
“I knew something was wrong with you, you old nut!” hissed Bede.
“WTFFFFF!” Tom went. “Sorry for the time I put TP on your house on Halloeen I though it would be funny!”.
“No! You know what I mean...Rose Sr!” Bede replied.
“Wha-, Skip killed him lol!” Tom lmaoed, fiddling his thunbs all nervous.
“Then explain that red and green band of yours!” yelled Bede, pointing at his new Dynamax band glowing all red and green.
Tom finnaly understood what Bede was talking about. “Is not a Rosemax!” Tom yelled. “It is indeed, the fabled CHRISTMAX BAND!”.
“Oh please!” Bede spat. “I’ve only heard about that in one of those lame chirstmas tales that Rose used to tell me when I was a babby! Is not real!”.
“Really?” Tom smkirked and activated it and Bede yelped like a women and grabbed the smahsed bottle...and then it turned into a hot cup of chocolate with a mistletoe on top!
“Wtf is this lol” Bede mumbled and then he took a sip. “Mmmm” he mmmed as the sweet honey-like cocoa went into him.
“Sorry for the confuse, haha” he mumbled as he was lost in the good choccy taste. “No worries bro” said Tom.
He started at the band and noticed that the coca was so good that it made Bede drunk and he was giggling and blushing all over the place! Even with no alcools inside! He got drunk on all the CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!
Bede then was sleeping from so much drunk and Hop got up and had to carry a very drunken boyfriend back to the room, which Tom helped him by opening the door for him. The then played Minecraft on the TV and Tom went back and found the butler guy from earlier had been fired after he was accused of eating Tom and taking his cloths so he has the bunk bed to himself now. He laid down and it was a real quite moment for him until he smilied as he had...an idea!
We haven’t been focusing on Skip all that much this chapter so let’s go back to the coolest dude himself now! He was laying down all kingly like a king in his castle but instead he was in his suit with his wife anx they kept making out and sexxing because their beds were under a mistletoe so they had to do that each time they were under one so and they had to get out of bed to change after each time but then they sat back down on the bed after so they had to do it again and this went on for a while!
The room got and felt all sexy from all the sexy stuff going on and it got so steamy it felt like a hot tub in a sauna room that is so hot that peeps are using it to cook up their pastas. Skip put on a jacket to stop his suits getting wet from all the steam and then he noticed something else! All the Christmas lights have suddenly gone and because the cruise lights have been replaced by then for the festive season, it all became dark across the entire ship! Peeps started screaming everywhere and jumping out of the ship with scared because they thought the ghosts of Christmas from that movie where haunting the place to prank the kiddies and kidnap everyone’s figgy puddings and eggnogs.
“WTFFFFF, noone steals my Christmas lights and gets away with it!!” Skip yelled so hard a book near him caught fire and he held it with him to see what’s up.
The evacuation procedure was being announced because too many guys kept jumping off and one of the steps is to meet at the main hall or something and so that’s where he was headed off to, with Sonia following behind. When he got there, many guests have already gathered and are waiting for more instructions. As chaos was going all over the place on the cruise ship and people started to drink and punch other people and the slot machines in all the panic and crazy, something happened that made everyone stop in their tracks and stop all the punching!
Skip looked up and he went in shock as he saw...several hundred Christmas lights all over the place that were crawling all over the floors and ceilings like a slither of snakes with no gravity which looked all freaky and gathered at the center of the lobby and they formed...a face! When all the lights gathered, they changed colours to become a floating head which was Tom’s, like that scene from Oz but more Christmasy and lights!
“DON’T PANIC DUDEZ!” the Christmas light head boomed. “I’m not a creepy ghost or anything!”. Everyone was surprised at first but calmed down when they heard those words.
“I am the helper of Santa and umm he’s told me this place needs to LIGHTEN UP!” he grooved groovily as more Christmas lights filled the room and started to get all groovy everywhere as Christmas carols and music busted everywhere and a disco ball too from the ceiling and made people dance! Tom was hiding under the floor next to the engines, controlling the lights with Christmax and using a laptop to see what’s happening up above!
The evacuation was called off cause of all the good time everyone was having and Skip was feeling the groove too. He was feeling hot and also vefy sexy so he tore off his suit shirt to attract all the grooving laddies and drank a hot choccy that poofed into his hands to get in the mood and then whipped his hair back and danced as jolly and sexy as he ever could to the carols with so much Christmas spirit that can liven up a silent night, setting all their pants on fire from the sexy including Sonia’s which warmed them up during this White Christmas and he sexed them all under the mistletoe!
Tom also made it rain candy canes and chocolates everywhere so it was like the Chocolate Rain song in real life, only without the pain! Hop got into one of the janitor’s cleaning cars and was having the time of his life racing for the candy against all the other childrens like he was in Mario Kart. Bede mind controlled all the slot machines in the casino to keep giving Jackpots for a fortune new year and Hop kept knocking all the kiddies into the money piles!
Lights and sexiness and chocolates and moneys were getting everywhere on the cruise all the way till midnight when Tom’s Christmax band suddenly caught on fire and shut down!
“Damn!” Tom went. “I forgot once its no longer Christmas it stops working until Winter!”.
Suddenly all the candy rain and Christmas lights stopped and the people started going all panic again because they thought the Hrinch killed Santa’s helper and stole Christmas! Everyone was so panic and stomping all over the place that the engines with Tom went explode and he did a barrel roll outta there!
Evacuation started again and peeps made lifeboats from the slot machines and bar tables. Others made life vests from the chocolates because chocolate can float in water I think but they kept getting eaten by the sharks that smelt and liked the chocolate.
“I mus do things fast!” Skip said and then he ordered a Santa costume and a big sack from eBay and he was all “Ho Ho Ho!” as the Christmas Spirit from the costume and his sexiness got together and made a power like none before which magics all the Christmas lights to where they were so there was light again!
Everyone cheered at him and then he poured down a bunch of gifts from his sack and it had a lot of cool stuff like Nerfs and Star Wars Legos for the nice kids and lame stuff like Barney the Dinosaur and Teletubby sh*t for the naughties! The janitors got to cleaning all the smooshed candy on the floor which was attracting all the crickets that make all that noise at night. Everyone got back to rocking and sexing with the sexy Santa until it became too late for rocking and sexing.
After a rockin time the ship arrived at home and everyone got down as they lolled and talked about that crazy Christmas cruise! Tom was a little bummed because he was left with a band that did nit work for now so he slid it in the drawers back at home and did a charge on it for...NEXT YEAR!!
THE END...for now?!