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Realizing he was in love with Deku wasn’t a heart-pounding realization that left him breathless and desperate. It wasn’t a tearful embrace escalating into fervent touches and heartfelt talks. It wasn't even a heated argument, screaming in each other's faces until they met in the middle unable to resist the chemistry between them. It was just a cup of hot chocolate.
Katsuki trudged into their shared apartment ready to rage at the first inconvenience life decided to place in front of him. Instead, he found his roommate, snuggled up in his usual place on the couch wrapped in, of course, his worn-out All Might blanket. Deku turned toward the opening door and his blinding smile was almost enough to drag Katsuki out of the hellscape that was his mind at that moment. Almost
“Hi Kacchan, how was your day!” the nerd beamed, subtly giving Katsuki a quick once over. Katsuki grunted and stomped straight for his room. Shrugging off his hero costume and letting the pieces fall to the floor before he dragged himself toward his bathroom for a much-needed shower.
Turning the water to full blast, Katsuki stood under the spray letting the scalding heat of the water burn away any lingering dirt from the day. Even as his body was scrubbed clean he let the water beat down on him, a light punishment for his failure that day. It was too gentle a punishment in his opinion, he deserved the dirt and gunk that he felt still clung to him. His conscience, unable to cleanse itself of the faces of the civilians he let down, needed the scorching water to burn it all away and take it down the drain. He leaned his head against the cool tile, closing his eyes he let himself drift off into distracted thought. A soft knock stirred him from his thoughts and brought him back to reality.
“Um Kacchan, I made you something whenever you’re done. I-I’ll be in the living room” Katsuki waited and when he heard no other noise sighed deeply and shut off the water. Towel wrapped around his waist he makes his way into his bedroom and is greeted with folded clothes on his bed. He inspects the clothes, finding his favorite pair of sweatpants and a worn-out old hoodie folded neatly, clearly waiting for him. A small smile crosses his face as he thinks of his nerd laying out comfy clothes waiting in the living room to comfort Katsuki, without question. The fucking idiot probably hadn’t heard the news yet but was ready to be there for Katsuki immediately.
Shrugging on the clothes he allows himself a small moment to bask in the oft fabric. Too soft compared to his sharp angles and hard muscles. Still, he makes his way into the living room and is greeted with the same old familiar sight. Deku humming in the kitchen, two mugs already steaming in front of him.
“Almost done Kacchan, I’ll bring them to the couch in a second,” Deku said over his shoulder. Katsuki turned heading for the couch with only a grunt, knowing arguing would only make his tense mood worse.
Moments later Deku reappeared, all smiles and freckles with the mugs. He handed Katsuki a mug with Shitty Hair plastered across it. He snorted, even as a top 10 hero Deku couldn’t help but geek out over all their former classmates and their success. He had as much of their merch as their comfortable apartment could hold. Deku settled next to him, not close enough to touch, but close enough to reach out to.
Katsuki stared down into the rich dark liquid in front of him watching the steam curl up and away into the air. He could feel eyes on him, not demanding his attention, but present nonetheless. He took a sip and sunk back into the couch. The hot chocolate was perfect, as usual. Deku always made it perfect. More bitter than sweet, knowing Katsuki would bitch and complain if he tried to give him that syrupy sweet shit Deku loved to inhale. There was the telltale kick from the spicy chocolate Deku always made sure to stock the house with but refused to tell him where it was from. God forbid he buy them for himself and ruin Deku’s ‘special treat for his Kacchan’. Sinking further into the couch, a deep shuddering sigh stealing the last of the tension from his shoulders.
He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, rolling his head to look back at Deku. Persistent Deku. Loyal Deku. Izuku. Brave, self-sacrificing, bleeding heart Izuku. Always sticking around to pick up Katsuki’s pieces even when his jagged edges tore and stabbed at him. He would always brush off the pain and piece by piece bring Katsuki back together.
Deku's soft smile dripped with concern as he cautiously observed the cracked man in front of him.
“Kacchan, do you want to tell me about it?”
No
No, he really didn’t. He didn’t want to explain his latest fuck up. Explain how his idiotic strategy got two civilians sent to the hospital. How he caught the villain only after he took several hostages. Didn’t want to think of all the trauma he could have prevented if he just stopped to think for just a bit longer.
It didn’t matter, not really. Deku knew. Just as well as he did, they both dealt with the weight of their jobs. It didn’t matter how many he saved, that self-deprecating voice in his head was always there to needle him, reminding him of all the ones he hadn’t saved. Katsuki knew Deku understood, he always did. He knew Katsuki better than he knew himself.
Maybe that's what led him to cross the line. The fragile minuscule line they had been doing since high school, the one that got smaller and more brittle every time they caught the other's longing stares or lingering touches.
His hand reached across the space between them, catching his wild green curls and twisting them in his fingers. Slipping his hands further into his hair and all but petting the curly mop. Deku’s eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into the contact, gently nuzzling into his hand.
“Nothing new Deku. Same old shit, different fucking day. I-” he let out another bone-weary sigh “I know we can’t save everyone, but I wish we could” Katsuki exhaled, dragging his eyes back to the cooling mug he cradled in his palms.
“Mmhmm'' Deku hummed, and somehow, that simple acknowledgment was better than some halfback platitude or optimistic ramble. Deku knew what he needed to hear, he always did.
Starring onto the chocolaty liquid he wondered why he hadn’t seen it before. He loved Deku. Izuku. He loved Izuku, and Izuku loved him. He had been showing him every day since they had reconciled their friendship. He showed him in the casual weekends they spent lounging around enjoying each other's company. In the constant praise, he always threw at him when even Katsuki’s own massive ego couldn’t pull him from his self-deprecating thoughts. Deku showed him in the perfect hot chocolate he made unprompted, at the slightest hint of tension in his shoulders.
“Izuku,” Katsuki said abruptly, setting down his mug and startling Deku into alertness. He opened his eyes and leaned away from Katsuki’s massaging fingers. “I’m- I’m glad I have you. I couldn’t do this without you.”
Deku gasped, tears immediately springing to his eyes as he took in Katsuki’s sincere tone. “Kacchan, I- I don’t know why you’re saying this now I mean- I feel the same- You’re just so important to me and- I don’t know if you- Well did you mean- Are we talking about ‘us’ well not ‘US’ but” Deku blubbered words nearly drowned by the hiccuping sobs. Katsuki rolled his eyes and let a small smile creep onto his face
“Come here you big cry baby,” Katsuki said, pulling Deku into his lap and cradling the shaking man to himself. Katsuki allowed Deku to cry into his neck, stroking his back. When Deku’s hiccups and small sobs quieted, Katsuki gently guided Deku’s head back and stared into his pine-colored eyes. “You didn’t even let me finish confessing to you before you were bawling your eyes out.” Katsuki chuckled, stroking the freckles on his cheeks.
Deku let out a choked laugh and gave him a trembling smile. Katsuki leaned forward and finally closed the distance. Like his previous revelation, kissing Deku wasn’t fireworks popping in a grand finale. It was just right. Like this is where Katsuki should have always been, and this was all he needed. Katsuki and Izuku. Kacchan and Deku, made for each other in every way.