Chapter Text
Lady Palutena farting is something that everyone learns to cope and accept. But the gassy green haired Goddess of Light wasn't always fond of breaking wind... hard to believe, but at first, it posed as a legitimate problem. How, exactly? Just read for yourself, as it all started in her own home dimension...
Lady Palutena was sitting on her soon to be farting fat ass, watching her lone solider, the food loving white winged angel boy Pit, Mr. Kid Icarus himself, beating up all the monster across the Skyworld. She giggled as she watch Pit bust his butt, only to get a pleasant surprise as Pit came back to Palutena's Temple, running up to Palutena.
"That takes care of all those pesky monsters, Lady Palutena!" Pit exclaimed as he pointed at himself.
Palutena squealed cutely. "Well done, Pit! You saved the lands one more!" She winked, wiggling her left index finger. "How about you come over here, big boy..."
Pit blushed as he waved his hands at Palutena. "Whoa whoa whoa... let's not get so hasty, I just got back..." He smelled his right armpit, shuddering as he folded his arms. "And ewww, am I sweaty. I'm gonna need a shower..."
Palutena grabbed Pit, stuffing him into her big boobs. "Oh, but I love young sweaty boys! It makes me feel horny!"
Pit struggled to break free, flailing his arms as he screamed. "Lady Palutena, please, this isn't right!"
Palutena laughed as she hugged Pit tightly. "Pahaha! Nothing you say will deter me!"
Palutena's stomach growled loudly, prompting Palutena to open her eyes as she farted loudly, causing her dress to be blown upward. Palutena's eyes widened as a noticeable red blush appeared across her face. Pit pulled his head out from Palutena's chest, panting as he tried catching his breath.
"Man... that was... more cleavage... than I needed... to see..." Pit commented as he wheezed, glancing up at Palutena and tilting his head to the right as he blinked several times. "Lady Palutena, are you all right? You looked embarrassed."
Palutena chuckled nervously as she rubbed her right elbow. "Pit, let's just say that sometimes, it's not okay to hold onto things..."
Pit understood, nodding his head. "Yeah. We gotta let go of the past, and embrace the future!" He then gave Palutena a thumbs up. "We need to break new wind to uncharted territory! Cut the cheese and get a move on to-"
Palutena groaned as she felt her stomach growl again. "Oh no, I gotta rip one again..." She looked around, ignoring Pit's talking. "Gotta find a way to let one fly without Pit noticing..."
"Cut loose and just move on forward!" Pit continued exclaiming as he made ridiculous poses. "Because life goes too quickly, and it feels like one big fart!"
Palutena farted loudly again, though this time Pit witnessed it. Pit had a completely awkward face as his right eye twitched violently, his jaw dropping.
"Lady Palutena... did you just..." Pit stated as he was in complete shock.
Palutena blushed as she held down her dress, another fart emerging from her goddess rear end. "Oh, I hope Sakurai san won't notice this... I have never been so embarrassed..."
"She'll learn to love farting soon..." Pokemon's Farting Bianca stated as she was snooPING AS usual, you see, farting her way across the various worlds as she let out a huge fart on her own, disappearing as Pit wondered what had happened.
"...and that's how it all started, or in this case, farted," Lady Palutena laughed as she was farting several times while playing tennis with Dry Bowser, the skeletal reptile showing her how to play various sports as they were at Palutena's temple, of which was still covered in her fart gas, a long while after her initially embarrassing fart run.
"I still don't know how you manage to fall in love with something as disgustingly juvenile as... flatulence." Dry Bowser stated, accidentally hitting the gas producing goddess of light with the many green fuzzy tennis balls that she summoned, proving himself to be excellent at the sport. "Maybe it's something in the water, since all the Smash girls are like this."
"No, not really. Just me and Peach, which is a shame, because I would love the others to embrace their flatulent selves," Palutena laughed as she turned around and literally farted tennis balls out of her farty big butt, laughing with glee. "Can you imagine how much more fun Smash battles would be if everyone besides me, Peach, and Wario farted?"
"I don't have to imagine. That green loser in the blue overalls is almost as gas containing as you lot." Dry Bowser stated in disgust, eventually being reduced to a pile of bones as the speedy rate Palutena was farting the balls of tennis at were enough to pierce through the bony reptilian's skeletal body, of which allowed Palutena to regain her train of thought on her original moments of flatulent distress...
Several moments later, Pit tried his best to comfort Lady Palutena, who was filled with fart gas of loud and smelly proportions. Palutena was embarrassed, not expecting to be farting at all.
"Lady Palutena, I don't mean to be a pest," Pit stated as he rubbed the back of his head with his right hand sheepishly, "But did you have a buffet last night before sleeping with me?"
Palutena blushed as she continued to hold down her white colored dress. "Well, you know me. Being a goddess gives me a huge appetite. I simply couldn't resist eating all that food, it was so delicious that I had to eat it..."
Pit chuckled as he patted his stomach several times. "Yeah, I know that feel, Lady. It's just shocking that even all powerful beings like you can rip one! It boggles my mind!"
Palutena rolled her eyes as she shook her head. "Well Pit, it seems like not even my heavenly stature is protected from the power of flatulence... I just hope it doesn't affect Skyworld..."
Pit scoffed, waving his right hand as he shook his head. "Please, lady! I'm sure your farts can't be all that powerful, right?"
Just as Pit finished his sentence, Palutena farted loudly again, which caused several stone columns to collapse. Pit and Palutena both ran out as the entire temple collapsed on itself. Palutena groaned as she placed both of her hands on her face.
"Sweet eggplants! My fart smashed up the entire temple!" Palutena exclaimed in horror, her eyes widened.
Pit coughed as he decided to make a corny joke. "Well, sure it looks like it went through a melee, but hey, at least the result wasn't a brawl!"
Palutena glared at Pit. "You really like jumping onto the puns and references at every moment, don't ya?"
Pit sheepishly smiled as he shrugged. "Well, I guess the temple was too slow! I guess it must recover!"
Palutena's fart was deep pitched, much to Palutena's displeasure. "I sure hope Skyworld has new undergarments... at the rate I'm farting, I'm gonna be baking brownies..."
Pit giggled like a young school girl. "Baking brownies, ha ha ha! Well, your butt is like a oven... it's pretty hot!"
Palutena grabbed Pit and stuffed him into her butt, letting out a nasty loud and foul smelling fart in his face, to punish him for the terrible joke. Pit screamed in horror as he flailed his arms about, Palutena pulling him out of her butt fifteen seconds later, a look of devastation on the angel's face.
"I'm sorry, Lady Palutena..." Pit mumbled as he could barely stand up, his face green from being forced to smell the putrid odor, "I guess I'll hold in whatever jokes I have..." He then fainted, his left leg twitching.
Palutena smiled, folded her arms as she let out another blast of gas. "Thanks for being considerate, Pit."
"You call THAT being considerate?" Dry Bowser scoffed as he was giving the temple a clean up with his mop, shaking his boney head in disbelief while rolling his beady orange eyes in his pitch black eye sockets.
Lady Palutena was still outside of the temple, rubbing her stomach with her right hand as she tried to hold in her powerful gas. She was sitting down, looking down at the white puffy clouds that surrounded the temple. Pit returned to the scene after having cleansed himself.
"Well, I guess I should lay off the puns, huh?" Pit remarked, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.
Palutena nodded, closing her eyes briefly. "You should. They're starting to stink."
Pit chuckled a bit, pointing at Palutena. "Heh. Yeah, just like your big butt."
Palutena farted loudly, the gas sounding grossly wet as she turned to Pit, glaring at him. "Do I have to fart on you again, pun boy?"
Pit whimpered, waving his hands in defense. "No, no. It's all right... just don't gas me again... please..." He trembled as he closed his eyes.
"Bahahaha! What is this?" A loud, hammy male voice shouted from down below.
Pit placed his right hand on his forehead. "Oh boy, I know that laugh anywhere..."
It was then that the Eggplant Wizard popped up, standing on the tallest puffy cloud below the temple. Palutena farted again, being as ripe as a tuba as Eggplant Wizard heard it, causing him to laugh even more.
"A gassy goddess? My, we can't have that now, can we?" Eggplant Wizard taunted as he pointed at Palutena with his staff.
Pit growled, shaking his left arm at Eggplant Wizard. "Buzz off, Eggplant Wizard! Just seeing you makes me nauseous!"
"Love you too, angel boy." Eggplant Wizard taunted, blowing a kiss towards him. He then focused his attention on Palutena. "Anyway, how about we play a little game, Palutena? Just you and me!"
"I don't have time for games, E. W. I'm a goddess." Palutena remarked, folding her arms.
Eggplant Wizard narrowed his eyes, slyly smirking. "Sure, it sure is important being a lazy piece of crap all day."
Palutena stood up, another ripe fart emerging from her enormous rear end. "Are you challenging me, puny vegetable?"
"I'm not challenging you..." Eggplant Wizard stated as he turned around, smacking his butt at Palutena. "I'm forcing you!"
Palutena growled, turning to Pit. "Pit, you go and distract his army! I'll handle this weirdo."
Pit cheered as he pumped his fists. "Great! You'll use your staff?"
Palutena farted again, going from ripe to wet in ten seconds. She glanced at her butt, smirking. "Why would I need my staff when I got my butt?"
Pit's enthusiastic smile turned into a frown, resulting to him shuddering in disgust. "Oh... ewww..."
"Shut up and go take care of those eggplants, Pit!" Palutena shouted, clapping her hands twice.
"Okay, okay!" Pit remarked as he jumped down from the temple, attacking the Eggplant Wizard's incoming forces.
Palutena cracked her hands, spanking her butt, which made her let out a tuba-like blast of gas. "All right, Eggy, you want a battle? You got one."
"This is gonna get stinky..." Tiny Kong murmured in excitement as she was at the corner, farting in pleasure as she too was dimension farting.
"Oh, you can tell too?" Added everyone's favorite gassy Nintendo gal, Princess Daisy farting in tight jeans, who was pooping her pants alongside the matured version of Tiny.
After several minutes of staring down at each other for no reason other than stalling for time like a certain infamous anime, Lady Palutena and the Eggplant Wizard were ready to dance. The Eggplant Wizard jumped onto the same platform as Palutena, so now they were both on equal grounds.
"I'm gonna take your temple, and rename Sky World into Eggplant land!" Eggplant Wizard exclaimed as he flailed his arms about, laughing crazily.
Palutena placed her hands on her hips, scoffing at the wizard of eggplants. "Like that will happen, egg for brains!"
Eggplant Wizard growled, zapping some purple lightning from his staff. "That's it! I'm going to crack you wide open, you light doll! Away with you, goddess!"
Palutena turned around, aiming her big butt forward as she farted out a deep pitched brassy tuba toot loudly, the sulfur like smelly green gas propelling the lightning back.
Eggplant Wizard gawked, stumbling backwards. "What? Your farts actually help you?"
Palutena smirked. "It pays being a gassy giant." She let out a cute little poot, giggling.
Eggplant Wizard growled as he stomped his left foot, zapping fifteen more purple lightning bolts.
Palutena farted loud and proud, the strong smelling green gas repelling the lightning bolts like they were tennis balls. Eggplant Wizard dropped his jaw in disbelief, able to withstand the horrid stench.
"Ugh! This is no fun!" Eggplant Wizard exclaimed as he tossed his staff on the ground, pointing at Palutena. "What's the point of using magic when you're using your own body?"
Palutena giggled as she winked, letting out another cute little poot, which sounded a bit more wet. "It pays to have too much gas inside the jeans."
Eggplant Wizard slapped his forehead. "Jeans don't even exist in this time period!"
Just then, much to the surprise of both Palutena and Eggplant Wizard, a furious Viridi appeared, stomping towards Palutena. Palutena stood back up, gulping nervously as she let out a wet fart, with Viridi marching right towards Palutena, face to face.
"We need to have a talk right now, Ms. Pollution!" Viridi exclaimed angrily as she shook her arms with anger.
Palutena gulped as she stumbled back. "N-now now, Viridi... I didn't mean to stink up the skies..."
Eggplant Wizard laughed as he pulled out a pink lawn chair out of nowhere and sat down, pulling out a hot, yellow colored bucket of popcorn. "Oh ho ho, This should be good!"
Several minutes after the previous battle, the Goddess of Nature, Viridi, was scolding Lady Palutena, who was arguing back in defense over her loud and bassy, stinky farts. Eggplant Wizard was enjoying the show, munching down on popcorn.
Pit came back, having ward off the Eggplant Army. "Lady Palutena, I..." He glanced to see the Eggplant Wizard munching on popcorn, and turned to the left, to spot Viridi. He gulped as he raised his hands up to his mouth. "Oh no... this won't be good..."
"Your big fat butt is causing my beautiful atmosphere to rot!" Virdi exclaimed as she shook her wooden staff at Palutena.
Palutena shrugged as she let out an ear piercing wet fart. "Well, it's not my fault that you don't do a good job cleaning it."
"I know how to clean! I can just reset!" Viridi exclaimed as she tossed away her staff.
Palutena wrapped her arms around the back of her head, belting out a raunchy fart. "Then why won't you reset my farts in your atmosphere!"
Virdi angrily shook her arms frantically. "Because I spammed the reset button so much, it broke..." She then sniffled, rubbing her right eye, with tears forming in both eyes. "That and because I got a restraining order from Mr. Resetti..."
Pit laughed as he slapped his right knee. "That must have taken a lot of power for Resetti to restrain you!" He joked.
Palutena, Viridi, and even the Eggplant Wizard all angrily glared at Pit, who started whimpering as he shrunk.
"Anyways..." Viridi started again as she grabbed Palutena by the chest, "Fart one more time, and I'm gonna get really nasty!"
Palutena flinched, but then farted again. After hearing the thunderous tuba like sound emit from Palutena's not so light rear end, Viridi started grinding her teeth. Palutena chuckled nervously as another bubbly fart trickled out of her enormous derriere.
And now, for an unneeded advertisement about Lady Palutena farting.
And now back to the story!
"I'll show you to fart in my presence, you ugly green giant!" Viridi complained as she slapped Lady Palutena across the face.
Palutena gasped as she, quite typically at this point, farted a trombone like toot loudly, rubbing her sore right face cheek as she growled. "Oh, so you want a cat fight, huh?" Palutena slapped Viridi back across the face. "Well, let's see you put up a fight!"
Viridi growled as she grabbed her staff, hitting Palutena right on the head. Palutena snatched Viridi's staff, placing it right in between her butt cheeks as she farted loudly on it, causing the wood to wither. Viridi screamed in horror as she placed both of her hands on her face, with the Eggplant Wizard having a laughing fit.
"No! My precious, beautiful, nature inspired staff!" Viridi cried as tears began to form in her eyes. She growled as she shook her arms with rage, tears falling from her face as she was ready to fight back. "So, you just can't resist stinking up this beautiful planet, huh?"
Palutena folded her arms as she stuck out her tongue, letting out another rotten tuba toot while shaking her gas filled ass. "Nothing you can do about it, shorty."
"Oh, nothing huh?" Viridi taunted as she grabbed Palutena and stuffed her in between her butt cheeks, letting out an even worse, more raunchy poot. "Well, have a taste of your own medicine, fart face!"
Eggplant Wizard's jaw dropped so much, it broke off. Viridi farted again, this time making it as rotten as possible to torture Palutena, who flailed her arms and tossed her legs as she released high pitched squeaky poots in an attempt to call for help.
So much later that eventually the old narrator got tired of waiting, and they had to hire a new one....
Things went from bizarre to weirder as the gassy Viridi continued to fart in Lady Palutena's face, who screamed as she struggled, letting out more poots of her own. Eggplant Wizard was still watching with disbelief, with Pit coming back to see the horror that was enfolding.
"What in the name of Lady Palutena?" Pit exclaimed as he placed his hands on his head. "Viridi's farting in Lady Palutena's face! Oh, the indignity!"
Viridi laughed as she turned to Palutena. "See? My farts can be terrible, too! How does it feel, fart face?"
Palutena coughed as she managed to pull her head from out of Viridi's butt cheeks. "Oh my... just when I thought this fanfic couldn't get any more disgusting..." She then gulped as she puked out green vomit, coughing more as she tried to get the horrid stench out of her senses. "Ugh... I need a doctor... that smelled gross AND dangerous..."
Pit rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I don't think doctors can treat goddesses..." He meekly mumbled.
Viridi folded her arms as she continued looking at Palutena. "So, are you gonna stop polluting my clear skies, or do I have to knock you out cold?"
Eggplant Wizard placed back his jaw onto his face, chuckling as he rubbed the drool from his mouth. "My, this was an interesting turn of events," He stated.
Pit turned to Eggplant Wizard, placing his right hand on his hip. "Boy, are you telling me. I would have never guessed that Viridi was capable of farting like Lady Palutena." He shuddered as he folded his arms. "Then again, I never expected Lady Palutena to release giant farts in the first place. Ech..."
Palutena tried to get up, but she farted loudly again, causing her to widen her eyes in fear as she looked up at Viridi, who smirked again. Eggplant Wizard and Pit simply stared at each other in shock, knowing what was about to happen again before them.
Viridi was still torturing Lady Palutena with her rotten, tuba like farts, with Palutena farting in fright as Pit and the Eggplant Wizard watched from the sidelines. As the two goddesses kept polluting the planet with their awful farts, Pit and the Eggplant Wizard had a bit of banter with each other.
"So, are you doing anything later?" Pit asked, rubbing the back of his head.
Eggplant Wizard rubbed his chin with his left hand, holding his staff in his right hand. "Well, today I was plotting on taking Sky World from you. And tomorrow, if I took over, I was going to plant eggplants everywhere..."
Pit looked at the Eggplant Wizard oddly. "That's it? You just want to turn this place into an eggplant garden?"
The Eggplant Wizard shrugged. "It's hard being original when you only exist just to be placed on a side." He sighed as he shook his head. "And let's face it, everything is cliche nowadays."
Pit sighed as he wrapped his arms around the back of his head, focusing back on the farting goddesses. "Well, I guess you got a good point." He agreed.
Will Viridi continue to fart in Palutena's face? Find out, next time in the Kid Icarus dimension...