Chapter Text
She can’t believe he’s doing this.
He’s not angry over the MI6 debacle, he’s his usual happy lazy self.
But he is gloating. And up to something.
It drives her crazy for half a week until she pounces on him as he walks through the door of the main house, in search of food.
”What are you up to?”
He nearly bangs his head on the top of the fridge, balancing eggs and a plate of bacon.
”Nothing, Higgy. Just grabbing a bite.”
”Stealing, more like.”
”Oh no, you are on the naughty list, you don’t get to tell me anything this week.”
”I’m on the what?”
He moves closer, until there are mere inches between them. She feels her breath halt, and she doesn’t feel that way, regardless of what Dr. Ogawa says.
”The naughty list. You lied to me. About MI6.”
”And…”
”Friends don’t lie, Higgy. My vengeance will be sweet.”
With that, he walks away, whistling. The door closes and he forgot the eggs and the bacon.
*
For the week that follows, he sets his terms.
If she wants to get on the nice list, she’ll do as he says. Even if it means choosing the mall Santa case over the much more interesting cheating spouse case.
”I will not.”
He’s left the outfit on her bed, and she stares in horror at the striped tights and gloves.
”Naughty list, Higgy. Yes you will.”
”I am not playing Mrs. Clause.”
”You’re not Mrs. Clause. You’re an elf.”
”An elf?”
”A naughty elf, yes.”
He can barely contain his laughter when he sees her aghast face.
*
”Why are we stopping?”
”Coffee at La Mariana, what else?”
”In this outfit?”
He’s already gotten out of the car, urging her to follow.
”Naughty list. If you behave, I promise not to take pictures for the Ohana thread.”
”Bastard.”
”I heard that. You want to be on the naughty list a week longer?”
She huffs, and begrudgingly follows him inside.
*
The children are all awful. They do think she’s Mrs. Clause, and he corrects them loudly.
”This is my elf, and she’s been naughty. So Mrs. Clause said to bring her with me.”
”What did you do?”
Before she can open her mouth, he’s already come up with another phoney excuse.
”Stole cookies. Mrs. Clause baked them for the men in the workshop and she ate them all.”
”Let all the reindeer out of the stables and blamed it on them.”
”Ran a red light with the sleigh and hid it from me. I just don’t know what to do with such elves sometimes.”
The children give her dirty looks before skipping off towards her parents.
”Was that necessary?”
”Naughty list, and it was.”
*
The ordeal takes forever, but they do catch the shoplifters and she tackles one of them in front of a bunch of outraged parents.
”You are so not getting off the naughty list now.”
*
“You happy now?”
The shoplifter case made the papers, and the image of an elf in striped tights standing over a tackled shoplifter has gone viral across the island.
”Very. How are those cookies coming along?”
The guesthouse smells of gingerbread and coffee, and she hopes her second batch will not turn out a burnt mess.
”Almost done. Am I moving towards the nice list now?”
”Come here.”
She’s discarded the tights and the gloves, wearing only the dress and padding around barefoot in his kitchen. He’s let off on the public torture, and is lounging on the couch.
“Ate all the cookies? Ran a red light?”
”Yes well, I could hardly tell them the real story, could I?”
She laughs, a strange strangled sound.
Their knees and bare feet bump and the air is thick all of the sudden.
”I meant it, what I said. I don’t think I could do this without you. PI’ing. This life.”
She nods and grasps his fingers, running her own index finger along the lines in his hand.
”I know. I really do, Thomas.”
He kisses her forehead, and they sit like that for a little longer.
”Thank you.”
”For?”
”For being you, Thomas. You drive me crazy, but a good kind of crazy.”
”Good. Ditto.”
“Ditto?”
She pinches him and and he pulls her down into his arms.
“Always, Higgy.”
*
He falls asleep halfway through the inane Christmas movie they’re watching, and she’s still in his arms and she could get used to this.
”Always, Thomas. So much.”