Chapter Text
Saturday AM
[7:32] Hey, uh, is this Cho? It's Harry from last night. Um, you might remember my friend, Ron, the really loud ginger one.
[7:32] I think he stepped on your foot a few times when he was trying to dance?
[7:33] Gods, I shouldn't have mentioned that. Sorry.
[7:33] Anyways, your number was on my arm.
[7:42] Ron sounds like quite the charmer.
[7:44] Um.
[7:45] This isn't Cho, so I'm sorry to say it but Harry, it appears she gave you the wrong number.
[7:46] Oh, shit.
[7:48] I would say I'm sure you're a fine guy, but I really don't know.
[7:48] I AM a fine guy.
[7:51] Again, I wouldn't know, but the fact that a girl gave you my number instead of her own sort of speaks volumes.
[7:51] I.
[7:51] Wait, I'm sorry for bothering you.
[7:52] That's alright.
[7:53] It's very early though.
[7:54] Oh, shit, yeah. I didn't even notice. Sorry.
[7:57] You don't have to keep apologizing. I'd have been getting up in an hour anyways.
[7:58] Oh, um, good! Sorry again, I'll leave you be while I tend to my hurt pride.
[7:59] You're not even going to tell me what you did to make her ditch you?
[7:59] Why... would I?
[8:04] I'm curious now.
[8:04] Well, she didn't ditch me! She just uh
[8:05] Avoided future contact?
[8:05] Fuck off.
[8:07] Sorry that uncalled for.
[8:08] Wait, I don't know you. I don't think it matters much, actually.
[8:09] Really? I thought our no-cussing bond was incredibly strong.
[8:10] What? A no-cussing bond?
[8:10] I thought we were just two 80 year olds with a strong moral guide!
[8:12] Ah, I see, Cho was a mysterious, wheeled lady at Senior Day.
[8:12] Yep, I think I found the one.
[8:14] The one that got away, mind you. And considering the wheelchair and all... I'm impressed at how hard she must've tried.
[8:14] If you want tips, just ask.
[8:14] No, thank you. Kind offer though.
[8:15] You do owe me at least the story, waking me up at 7:30am on a Saturday like you did.
[8:16] Why do you want to know?
[8:19] Like i said, it's early on a Saturday and what else is there for me to do?
[8:20] Ok, ok. Point taken.
[8:20] To be honest
[8:21] I really don't know. I don't remember... very well.
[8:22] All a bit fuzzy?
[8:23] Yes. Hah.
[8:23] It was game night; I'm allowed.
[8:25] Game night? Wait, don't tell me.
[8:26] You must be a football player.
[8:26] Oi, you ready for the big game, mate?
[8:26] I'm extremely offended.
[8:27] It's said with love.
[8:27] Maybe.
[8:28] So ambiguous.
[8:29] And I've never said "oi you ready for the big game mate" once in my life, thank you very much.
[8:29] I'm cool. Smooth.
[8:32] Cho disagrees.
[8:33] Sod off.
[8:35] I don't see how she could withstand your stunning eloquence. I guess it will remain a mystery to us all.
[8:35] Of all numbers I get a sarcastic arsehole. I'm a catch!
[8:35] Of course, of course. I wasn't doubting you.
[8:36] I have a headache. Is that something you find all your conversational partners have in common after speaking with you?
[8:37] No, usually just a charmed blush.
[8:37] Heavy nausea?
[8:37] A raging hard on.
[8:38] Oh, Not-Cho, how'd you know? ;)
[8:39] Like I said, you're not the first.
[8:40] Christ, I'm honestly going to sleep now.
[8:42] Then, sleep.
[8:44] I AM.
[8:46] Impressive sleep-texting abilities.
[8:47] Let me sleep.
[8:47] Stop messaging.
[8:48] Stop answering.
-
[8:45] I'm here.
[8:45] Draco?
[8:46] Answer me you arse.
[8:47] You're holding your phone. Honestly, I can see you through the window.
[8:48] Whatever.
[8:49] Oh, sorry, Blaise.
[8:49] One second.
[8:49 ] What were you doing?
[8:50] Some bloke texted the wrong number. I'm coming out now, just grabbing my jacket.
[8:51] Why were you laughing?
[8:51] He thought I was a chick he got with last night.
[8:52] Poor bastard. You have the worst bedside manners.
[8:52] Fuck you.
[8:52] Not with that attitude.
-
Saturday PM
[1:12] Good morning, sunshine! The earth says hello!
[1:13] Are you really just waking up?
[1:15] ...Maybe.
[1:16] It's past 1.
[1:17] I had a hangover alright? My sleeping habits aren't usually this fucked.
[1:17] Oh good, that really takes some weight off my shoulders. I was worried.
[1:18] No offense, Harry, but why are you still texting me?
[1:18] Why were you worried?
[1:19] I was kidding. I'm not insane.
[1:20] Oh, haha. To answer your question I'm trapped in my room.
[1:22] ...?
[1:25] Why?
[1:26] You know the Ron I mentioned?
[1:28] Stepping-on-Cho's-Feet ginger Ron?
[1:31] Yes, well, I live with him. It's a long story, yada yada, but he has a rather large family and they're currently in a rather large row I'm not intent on joining.
[1:32] What about?
[1:34] I think his younger sister snuck out last night. I'm not totally sure, I put my earbuds in a while ago. It sounds like something she would do, though.
[1:35] How'd it become a family row?
[1:38] A few brothers are backing her, the others are backing her mum. I think Ron's against her, though.
[1:42] Overprotective brother complex?
[1:43] Seems so.
[1:45] I've got a new appreciation for being an only child.
[1:47] I would say the same, but this family's basically mine now, in every way but blood. I'm making them seem terrible, but I'll blame it on the hangover.
[1:48] How big is this family?
[1:50] Oh, you know, mum, dad, 1 girl, and 6 boys. 7 counting me.
[1:53] What the absolute fuck.
[1:53] How loud is it over there?
[1:55] Well the oldest three are in college or graduated.
[1:56] There's five kids in your household?
[1:56] Yes.
[1:58] Bloody hell.
[1:59] Sounds...fun?
[2:01] It actually is usually, but not so much with a migraine.
[2:04] How is Ron up for a row, then? I assume he drank a decent amount, else I would say by the way you described his behavior last night that he was questionable company.
[2:06] Oh, yes, he was plastered. Drank more than me, in fact.
[2:09] So, you're a lightweight.
[2:10] No! And Ron just managed to down near a gallon of water before bed. I'm always too exhausted.
[2:11] He wants to go out again tonight, the arse.
[2:13] Good luck.
[2:14] No chance in hell I'm going, no thank you, sir.
[2:17] You assume I'm a sir?
[2:18] Oh.
[2:19] Sorry, no, just using it as a phrase more of. Though now you mention it, I guess I did?
[2:19] In an unconscious sort of way.
[2:20] I'm sorry I didn't mean to assume...
[2:22] No, it's ok.
[2:23] Um, well yes I am.
[2:23] A guy.
[2:24] Haven't been knighted yet to get the 'sir,' but there's always time.
[2:26] Ahaha
[2:29] Oh! I'm a guy, too.
[2:31] I figured with your name being Harry.
[2:32] Oh, yeah.
[2:32] But it could be short for something. Harriet?
[2:34] Harriot's decently common, and I think most of them shorten it to Harry.
[2:35] Point taken, but Harold's more likely.
[2:36] I think I met a Haribo once.
[2:39] You think I'm named after those gummy bears.
[2:40] Shit, that is the company's name, isn't it.
[2:42] Well, I'm just pointing out that you could be. You are a strange kid on my phone, who knows what else could be weird about you.
[2:45] Is this how you talk to someone in the morning?
[2:47] You can't call this morning without being sarcastic.
[2:48] :(
[2:49] Holy fuck it's almost 3PM?
[2:52] Yes. Yes it is.
[2:55] I'm sorry to be the one telling you.
[2:56] No you're not. This is the last time you hurt me.
[2:56] What?
[2:57] After all I've done for you! For us!
[2:58] Oh.
[2:58] Oh no.
[3:00] For our children!
[3:03] Are you a drama kid as well as as a sports kid?
[3:05] No, that's enough from you!
[3:09] Are you listening you ungrateful ponce?
[3:12] Ridiculous.
[3:15] Not-Cho?
[3:17] ...
[3:22] I want a divorce.
-
[3:02] Ron
[3:03] Ron, I need help with History, let Ginny be.
[3:05] Harry, she went and saw DEAN until 3am!
[3:06] We were out until 2, what's the big deal?
[3:08] Bloody hell, Harry, do you forget how insufferable she was when that ended. Or while it was going on.
[3:09] Or that whole shit period of them "just talking."
[3:10] I'm trying to save us all some pain here.
[3:12] Ron, do you honestly think she's going to stop because you said so? Are we even talking about the same Ginny?
[3:16] Piss off, Harry.
[3:17] If you help me with History, I'll do your Chemistry all this week.
[3:21] Fuck, fine.
[3:21] Deal.
-
[IMAGE SENT TO HARRY]
[4:04] Holy shit
[4:04] That's got to be the best picture of me I've ever seen.
[4:07] They sold them at the shop I was in and I haven't had them in years, so I thought I'd give you a go.
[4:08] Kind of you to think of me.
[4:10] "Give me a go"
[4:12] If you're repeating my words with a different implication, I'm not listening.
[4:13] I wouldn't imagine it.
[4:14] How do I taste?
[4:15] Christ, and you're pointing out MY innuendos.
[4:17] Oh, piss off.
[4:20] Hahaha
[4:20] The Haribo gummy bears?
[4:23] Yes, how do my candy counterparts taste?
[4:24] Pretty stale.
[4:26] Oh how you flatter me.
[4:27] :P
[4:27] Don't pull that face.
[4:28] :^P
[4:30] I don't like them much, I'm sorry. I think I might even prefer the actual you over the candy you.
[4:31] For some reason that doesn't sound like a compliment
[4:33] Hm.
[4:34] I welcome you to take it as one, if you'd like?
[4:37] Cheeky.
[4:38] No thanks, I'm still feeling the pain of your gummy bear hate.
[4:41] They're not terrible?
[4:43] Just give me some time to recover.
[4:44] Ok.
[4:58] Is that your nail polish?
[5:01] I thought you were recovering?
[5:03] Still am.
[5:05] Yeah. It's only the thumb nails. My friend had our school colours and she offered.
[5:06] Well, if you knew her, "demanded" would be the better word.
[5:07] I tend to just go along with it because I'll save more energy and face by humouring her.
[5:11] It's a good colour.
[5:14] Okay I'm back to recovering now.
[5:16] Have fun.
-
[5:19] Where are you?
[5:22] You kidding?
[5:23] Uh...
[5:23] No?
[5:25] I just left a minute ago to meet Pansy... You were going to grab us a table... Any of this ring a bell?
[5:26] Ah, right! Sorry.
[5:31] I got us a table.
[5:33] What, already?
[5:34] My dad knows the owners.
[5:36] Of course. I got Pans and we're heading back, give us a few.
[5:37] Alright.
[5:39] Why'd you take a picture of those sweets earlier?
[5:40] It was relevant in a conversation.
[5:43] Draco, we're quite literally your only friends.
[5:48] It wasn't a friend.
[5:49] I'd say.. a very unorthodox acquaintance? It made sense in context.
[5:56] Oh, I see you at the front desk. I'm past the bar, right next to the pillar.
-
Sunday AM
[1:24] What's your name?
[1:26] It's 1:30am.
[1:27] Oh.
[1:27] Shit.
[1:28] Shit, I'm sorry, did I wake you?
[1:30] No, it's alright, I wasn't sleeping.
[1:30] Party animal.
[1:31] I could stay the same about you.
[1:32] I thought you were putting your foot down about tonight?
[1:34] So did I.
[1:35] Ron can be pretty persistent.
[1:35] Except it's not even fun because I'm the DD.
[1:37] Am I your entertainment for the night then?
[1:39] My entertainment, oh you sly dog.
[1:39] Do you want to survive this party without company?
[1:41] Uuuuufgh.
[1:41] Fine, I guess not.
[1:42] Am I distracting you from your... whatever?
[1:46] Just my roommate, my friend, and me. One managed to sneak in beer somehow, we're not really sure how she does it but we're grateful.
[1:47] They're talking about a class I'm not in right now, so you're fine.
[1:48] Oh, I didn't know you were in university.
[1:48] I'm not?
[1:49] Roommate?
[1:49] Oh, I go to a boarding school.
[1:51] How bloody posh.
[1:51] Truly.
[1:52] Matching uniforms at all that shit?
[1:54] Yeah.
[1:54] I know.
[1:56] Always liked the jumpers though.
[1:57] Hah, I didn't peg your type as schoolgirl.
[1:58] I'm offended, maybe I just fancy the sweaters.
[1:58] Point taken. I hope you're happy together.
[1:59] Happy and warm!
[2:01] Are you allowed to be up so late at boarding school? Isn't there a curfew?
[2:03] The combination of this being my final year and having an intimidating father generally works in my favor.
[2:04] They don't usually catch my friend going back to her room, which helps.
[2:06] Gotcha. I wasn't sure if it was a movie thing or not.
[2:07] Nope.
[2:08] I expect you're at a public school?
[2:11] Yep, I like it well enough. Some arseholes here, but I suppose they're everywhere. Lots of sagging trousers I'd rather avoid but can't.
[2:13] Ah, the blessings of uniforms, don't have to see someone's Abercrombie & Fitch boxers.
[2:13] I'd transfer just for that, thank you.
[2:14] Is it really that terrible? Even if they're properly washed?
[2:15] Hah, if the bloke's trousers are falling off he's never the one with the clean pants.
[2:17] I'll take your word for it, Haribo.
[2:21] Wait! YOU DIDNT ANSWER MY QUESTION.
[2:21] ??
[2:23] Your name. Why'd you purposefully change the subject?
[2:24] Maybe it changed on its own. Conversational progression and all that jazz.
[2:26] So you're saying you changed the subject to avoid telling me your name.
[2:27] That's exactly the opposite of what I said, and I admit to no such thing.
[2:27] Suuuuure.
[2:28] Besides, what's it to you?
[2:29] A name.
[2:31] I'm not building you a shrine or some shit. Just want a name for your contact.
[2:33] Put in "god."
[2:34] If you're gonna be like that I'll put in "princess."
[2:36] Excuse you, I'd be a queen.
[2:37] The queen, still in prep school.
[2:40] Last year of prep school, nearly an adult, and ready to run the country.
[2:41] Don't be too impressed, Harry.
[3:02] Sorry, I was driving home.
[3:03] And I won't be.
[3:03] Now you're mocking me with your knowledge of my name, you ponce.
[3:04] I told you, it's ridiculous.
[3:05] Well, it's better than Not-Cho.
[3:06] Someone named Not-Cho is crying because of you saying that.
[3:08] I'm sorry, all the Not-Cho's of the world.
[3:10] I'd expect them not to forgive you.
[3:11] But it was such a sincere apology.
[3:11] Mhm.
[3:13] Can't please 'em all. Look I promise I won't find it too, too strange, my uncles have weird names as well.
[3:16] Not-Cho?
[3:17] HELLO
[3:17] WHO IS THIS
[3:17] Uh? Harry.
[3:18] OOOOOH
[3:19] WHAT YOU DOING TALKIG TO DRACO?
[3:19] Draco?
[3:19] Oh
[3:19] OH MY GODS HES MAD AHA
[3:20] WAS HE NOT TELLING YOU HIS NAME HOW FUNNY
[3:20] FUCKI GPRECIOUS AINT HE
[3:21] IM PANSY BY THE WAY NICE TO MEET YOU IM DRUNK
[3:21] Nice to meet you too, Pansy.
[3:21] Where is Draco, by the way?
[3:22] OH BLAISE IS HOLDING HIM DOWN
[3:22] ...I see.
[3:23] I would think he wouldn't want you to be doing this?
[3:23] HAHA YEAH HES MAD HE HATES ME TOUCHING HIS PHONE HIS FACE IS ALL CROSS AND HES CURSING A BIT
[3:23] BUT HE WAS ALL DISTRACTED HE WASNT EVEN PARTICIPATIN G IN OUR GLORIOUS CONVO
[3:23] SO HERE WE END UP
[3:24] THIUGH HE NEVER HAS ANYONE INTERESTING ON THIS OTHER THAN YOURS TRULY
[3:24] YOURE A PLEASANT SURPRISE
[3:24] Thank you
[3:25] DONT WORRY ABOUT IT MATE
[3:25] DID YA KNOW HE WAIT SHIT HE GOT OUT FUCK YOU BLAISE BYE HARRT
[3:27] Uh yeah bye nice meeting you, Pansy
[3:30] !
-
[3:45] I'm mortified.
[3:45] She's left, I'm sorry.
[3:45] Usually people have a bit of warning before meeting drunk Pansy.
[3:47] Draco
[3:47] Yeah?
[3:49] Oh...
[3:49] Don't make fun.
[3:50] No! I'm not! I like it.
[3:51] Pft. Thanks.
[3:53] My parents are absurd.
[3:55] You sound like an old-fashioned villain.
[3:55] Yes, watch out Harry, I've been working on my evil laugh.
[3:56] Harry vs. Draco.
[3:57] Would've been the fight of the century if Draco could ever compete with Harry's incredible strength and physique.
[3:57] Everyone loves an underdog.
[3:58] Luckily for you, I pity dropped out.
[3:59] Wow, you've sure got the hero complex down. That was quick work.
[4:00] I would act offended if I hadn't heard that before.
[4:03] "Oh Super Harry, please help me stand up to the big kids who stole my lunch money!"
[4:04] "Oh Haribo-Hulk, defend the city from the terraforming alien spaceships!"
[4:05] "Oh my one and only, slay the dragon and rescue me from my tall tower!"
[4:05] Only if you're wearing a pretty dress.
[4:07] I've got the cute heels to go with it.
[4:08] I'd object to being just someone for you to rescue in this scenario if I didn't look so goddamn good.
[4:10] I'm in my armor and on my way.
[4:10] I'm swooning, Harry.
[4:11] Can you chill out that dragon, though? This sword is new and I want to keep it shiny.
[4:11] Lazy, lazy.
[4:12] I don't deny that. I'm going to climb that damn tower for you, that's enough effort.
[4:14] I disagree, but I don't think you'll change your mind.
[4:15] You know me so well, Draco.
[4:17] You're easy to figure out so far.
[4:18] Alright, I'm going to sleep.
[4:19] What the fuck, no you can't.
[4:21] I don't think you're very much able to stop me.
[4:22] I'll text you every minute and your phone will keep you up.
[4:22] I am able to turn my phone off, you know.
[4:23] Damn, fine.
[4:24] Tell Pansy and Blaise thank you for letting me find out your name.
[4:25] They were absolutely pissed, I'm not sure they'll remember, but alright.
[4:25] Wait, tell me Blaise is huge.
[4:26] What? Not really??
[4:28] A drunk, normal-sized bloke was able to pin you for over 5 minutes.
[4:29] ...
[4:30] Shut up
[4:31] Hahahah
[4:32] Ok, so, my eyes are shutting on their own accord now.
[4:33] Oi Snake Boy
[4:33] Do. Not.
[4:35] Good night, Draco.
[4:35] Fuck you, Harry.