Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“San-ah! My lovely, kind, considerate roommate…” Wooyoung’s sickly sweet voice startled San way too early on Saturday and promptly made him shiver in fear.

There were some rules of university that San had learnt over the years. One; TAs sucked and were more important than the professor themselves. Two; if a random student asks you to weigh in on an argument between two friends, you're better off ducking your head and pretending you don’t know the language. Three; never, ever , skip on a campus tradition, your friends will call you a killjoy for the rest of the school year.

And four; when Wooyoung comes to you with his saccharine voice and wide eyes, pretend to be asleep. The most important rule of them all, and one that San, unfortunately, had the tendency to break.

San screwed his eyes just a bit tighter closed as Wooyoung came to stand beside his bed and leaned over him.

“San you ass , Temple Run is literally still on your phone screen, stop ignoring me.” Wooyoung whined, slapping his shoulder harshly.

San sighed and turned over in bed to peer up at his roommate, “Woo, I mean this with love and compassion, you’re the worst and I will not be helping you with whatever idiotic idea you have now.”

“It’s worse than an idiotic idea.” Wooyoung said. He backed up until the backs of his legs hit his bed, across from San’s own, and he fell back with a loud groan. “Worse than when we thought domesticating raccoons was a good idea.”

San cringed and sat up. “So it’s serious. Worse than the tequila sunrise birthday cake?”

Wooyoung dragged a hand across his face. He muttered something incoherent before letting out a loud, frustrated yell. “Worse! San! Ugh!”

“What did you do?” San knew Wooyoung’s penchant for dramatics, but also knew not to underestimate the absurd and hopeless situations he could get himself into. “Did you do something last night? Oh god did you drunk text your ex? Did you sleep with your ex? Did you sleep with that professor you’ve been drooling over in the history department?”

“History professors are so damn sexy. I think it’s their beards.” Wooyoung mused before groaning again and pushing himself to sit up. “It’s worse than all of that combined?”

“Well shit.”

“ Look .”

Wooyoung shoved his open phone in San’s direction.

San flinched backwards and instinctively covered his eyes. “I am not critiquing your nudes again! That was a drunken mistake-”

“Just look goddamnit it.”

San uncovered his eyes and peered at the phone, snatching it from Wooyoung’s outstretched hand.

It was open to Wooyoung’s chat history from last night. From his mom.

Eomma-ma Way

11:17

Wooyoung? Were you drunk?

And who is this ‘soulmate’ you want to marry?

Wooyoungie

11:18

Im in love

Love!

The love of my life!

You need to meet him!

You’ll love him

I love him

Love

LOOK HOW PRETTY

PRETTY PRETTY

Image.jpg

Aren’t you in love with him too!

No wait!

Mine

Eomma-ma Way

11:21

Isn’t that a picture of San-ah?

Wooyoungie

11:21

I think you mean the love of my life

Please refer to him as such from now on

“Wooyoung what the actual fuck?”

“I know!” Wooyoung shrieked, falling back onto the bed. “I know I know! I was way too drunk and I saw the cute guy from my world cultures class and I felt the burning need to call my mom and tell her I was dating my ‘soulmate’ and that we were gonna get married - a cheesy beach wedding with lots of champagne - and have her a lot of grandbabies - which I am fully aware is anatomically impossible-”

“Why did you send your mother a picture of me!” San cut him off, somewhat hysterically.

“I was drunk! ”

“Is this your messed up way of confessing to me!”

“ Ew ! God no!”

San paused and glared, “Well now I’m hurt. What do you mean ‘ ew ’!”

“Not the point San!” Wooyoung said. He shook his head, looking forlornly at his now dark phone screen. “That picture of you was the last one I took before I tried to take the picture of the cute guy. When I called my mom - well actually I’m not entirely sure what I told her over the phone - but in my mind the picture I took of the guy was amazing. Like museum worthy photography skills.”

“Was it?” San asked.

Wooyoung sighed and pulled up the picture on his phone. It was a blurry, dark photo of Wooyoung’s ‘Sensual Dance Time’ shoes.

San snorted.

Wooyoung glared. “Look, in my mind I managed to perfectly capture his beauty, okay? Anyways, it was a drunken mistake, my finger must’ve pressed the only vaguely human looking photo on my screen and well…”

“Well?”

“Well now my mom is ecstatic that we’re dating and that I ‘managed to secure such a sweet guy’ and ‘Wooyoung, you can’t get much better than San-ah so behave yourself dear god’.” Wooyoung said with a small wince, looking up at San with pleading eyes. “She’s really happy. Like stupidly happy and I just… God I don’t even know what we’re gonna do now.”

“ You’re gonna tell her the truth and put an end to this whole thing.” San said sternly, watching as Wooyoung shrunk into himself. “I mean, what else is there to do? There’s no point in lying to her like this, what would you even gain?”

Wooyoung shrugged, “I don’t know, nothing probably. It’s just… Well… She’s so happy San. My brother told me she was making a grocery list for the holidays and was including the recipes for all your favorite dishes. She’s gonna try to make homemade taiyaki just for you! Nutella filled and everything.”

“For the holidays?” Realization dawned on San. They were only three weeks away from a month-long holiday break for Christmas. San wasn’t planning on going home since his parents were visiting his older sister in Japan. He had planned to spend it curled up and content in their apartment, visitors coming in and out. “Woo, I am not going home with you for the holidays.”

“Please San!”

“No!”

“I’ll do anything! I’ll sleep in the living room for the rest of the year! I’ll buy you those stupidly expensive sneakers you wanted! I’ll tell Mingi it was me who broke his Kermit the Frog cookie jar!” Wooyoung said, leaning across the space between their beds to tug at San’s arm.

San pulled his arm away, “You were the one who broke Mingi’s cookie jar.”

“He doesn’t know that.”

“He thinks it was me?” San glowered at Wooyoung. “Is that why he’s been passive aggressively eating my leftovers?”

“Probably? Not the point again San. Will you please do this? For me?”

“Adding ‘for me’ makes me less likely to do it.” San said, tugging his arm away from Wooyoung.

“For my mom?” Wooyoung bargained.

San stopped. Wooyoung’s mom was a sweetheart. She took San in and treated him like family. His own home was hard to get to and the trip was expensive because of how remote the island his family home was on was. Because of that, San spent most of his breaks and long weekends at Wooyoung’s house, making sweet breads with his mom and helping tutor his younger brother.

“I’m using my soulmate card.” Wooyoung said, “Soulmate card, San. You can’t say no.”

And San really couldn’t. Their ‘soulmate card’ was a stupid ‘no questions asked favor’ card that they each got two of at the start of every year. San had used both of his soulmate cards already this year, one to get Wooyoung to write a paper on biospheres for him, and another time for him to pick up a phone call from his ex.

“This is the stupidest reason to use your soulmate card.” San huffed, already resigning himself to his fate. He would have to push his morals aside to actually do this, but there were worse things in the world and San had a sneaking feeling there was more going on than Wooyoung was telling San.

“But you’ll do it?” Wooyoung asked hopefully, his voice raising as he grinned at San.

“Do I have a choice?”

Wooyoung sobered slightly. “Always, San. You know I’d never make you do something you were truly uncomfortable with.”

San let a small smile grace his lips. This. This was why Wooyoung was such a good friend. Why San willingly called him his soulmate. Why he put up with all his stupid ideas that usually ended in trouble. San would truly do anything for Wooyoung, he deserved it. For all his trouble, Wooyoung was equally kind, protective, and loyal.

“I’ll do it, Young-ah. Plus, it’ll give me a chance to become your mom’s favorite son.” San said placatingly.

Wooyoung’s wide smile came back tenfold. “You already are.”

San smiled back, mind whirling. Fake dating. Just for a month. Or well, a month and three weeks, since getting their story straight and their act together would take the remaining time they had in the apartment before leaving for holiday.

This was a headache already.

But it wasn’t forever, and there were worse things that Wooyoung could’ve spent his soulmate card on. Plus, San loved spending time with Wooyoung’s family, and it would certainly be better than being alone for the holidays like he had planned.

“I’ll let my mom know that you’re coming along. Oh, we should go gift shopping together so I can sneakily but very obviously show you what I want. And at some point we should talk about our cover story, maybe a few ‘date’ test runs if we get the chance.” Wooyoung rambled, standing from his bed and pacing the short length of their room. Wooyoung was often overflowing with energy, bubbling over and causing either his feet or his mouth to run. Now, it seemed anxiety was causing Wooyoung to channel his uncontrollable energy into both.

San let him continue rambling, it was better that he had the opportunity to hear all his thoughts out loud. Wooyoung wasn’t someone who internalized well, often needing to speak to truly understand what he was thinking in the first place. Despite that, he was horrible about talking about his feelings. Which was why San had a small suspicion that there was more to this horrible dating scheme.

“Fine. But you owe me an extra nice present this year. I’m talking ‘Rolex watch’ nice. Or a new leather wallet. Both would be great.” San cut him off with a playful smirk.

Wooyoung shot him a glare. “The best I can do is some thrifted shirts. Maybe a used book from that bookstore you like. I’m saving my money for my family’s gifts. And fucking shipping something to Japan is expensive .”

San rolled his eyes but conceded. A new book wouldn’t be too bad, as long as he chose well. And the whole shipping to Japan thing was valid, the prices always surged around the holidays for international shipping, which San knew well because of his sister.

“Don’t come crying to me when you only get some convenience store snacks or dollar store crafts from me then.” San grumbled, already hearing Wooyoung’s whining when he opened whatever cheap present San would get him for Christmas.

Wooyoung once again beamed, “Deal! Let’s go.”

The three weeks sped by quicker than San could’ve ever anticipated. Between finals, work, and the dance showcase, the four roommates were constantly busy. Despite that, Wooyoung and San did manage to make time for a small cover story and some ‘dates’ to get used to the feeling. It went as well as expected, some dirty jokes, lots of bickering, and a few awkward eye contact moments that had Wooyoung bursting into his shrieking but contagious laugh. And San had to admit it wasn’t the worst feeling in the world. It wasn’t exactly natural, he knew for certain he didn’t have feelings for Wooyoung which made him stiff at times, but it wasn’t un believable either.

“You guys would make a hot couple, if this were real.” Mingi pointed out the night before break, taking a sip of his wine before continuing, “As in like, porn-worthy hot.”

Yunho skillfully grabbed Mingi’s wine glass from his hand, “And you’re properly drunk. No more for you, you have an early train in the morning and I know for a fact you’ll get motion sickness if you’re hungover.”

Mingi tried to halfheartedly grab the wine glass from Yunho’s hands, a small whine escaping his lips before he gave up with a huff. “But am I wrong? Look at them. Smokin.”

He did finger guns, then pretended to blow the smoke from them.

San tried to hide his laugh behind his drink while Wooyoung outright cackled. Wine-drunk Mingi was always good entertainment.

The four roommates were sitting around their living room, trying to relax after the marathon of the last three weeks. Plus, they would be separated for nearly a month for the holidays, going their separate ways until Yunho and Mingi came out to Wooyoung’s for the new year celebration.

Wooyoung nudged San a few times, “He’s right, we’re fucking hot together.”

San pushed Wooyoung’s shoulder so hard he almost fell from the couch. “Shut up you dumbass, he’s drunk and so are you.”

“We’re hot hot.”

“Like tamales.” Mingi said. Yunho snorted.

Wooyoung’s eyebrows furrowed, “Tamales… the things wrapped in corn husks?”

Mingi cocked his head. “Tamales. The candy.”

Wooyoung nodded his head sagely and looked at San. “Hot tamales.”

San shook his head at the pair. “Okay you two are drunk and we all have early morning travels, I say it’s time we wrap this up.”

Both Wooyoung and Mingi loudly protested.

“When did you become such a party pooper.”

“Boooo. San’s a killjoy and has a flat ass.”

San shot Wooyoung a withering glare. “My ass is not flat,”

Yunho smacked it as San tried to walk by. “Like a pancake.”

“Fuck all of you.” San grumbled, pretending to pour Wooyoung’s wine over Mingi’s head, sending him scrambling off the couch.

“Not with that ass.” Wooyoung called after him.

Taking a train ride with a hungover Wooyoung was about as fun as it sounded. Wooyoung’s home was only an hour and a half ride from their university, but Wooyoung spent the time bundled in numerous jackets and drowning the world out with low classical music. San spent the morning researching summer internships and messaging with Mingi who was as miserably hungover as Wooyoung.

When they arrived at the train station, more like a small, open platform on the side of a country road, Wooyoung was suddenly full of energy, scrambling to grab his stuff and tugging San out into the crisp winter air where his mom was waiting.

Mrs. Jung was a sweet and short woman. Wooyoung, who himself was on the shorter side, nearly towered over her as he engulfed her in a warm embrace. San followed a few steps behind, carrying both of their belongings and giving the pair a moment to reunite. Despite seeing her often, Wooyoung never failed to embrace his mom as though he had been separated from her for years. It was always a sweet sight, and made San’s heartache for his own parents.

Mrs. Jung pulled away from Wooyoung, cupping her son’s cheeks and checking him over quickly. 

“Jung Wooyoung, we need to put some meat on those skinny bones of yours.” She scolded lightly, as she always did. Wooyoung had a naturally high metabolism, which, paired with his intensive dance program, meant he was always shoveling food down to keep energy and muscle mass up. But to his mom, he always looked sorely underweight.

“You too, San-ah, always so slim, you two. I have a month to get you fat and healthy.” Mrs. Jung said, motioning San over for his own warm hug. Once San was nestled safely in her arms, she whispered, “Take good care of him, yeah?”

San felt a pang of guilt as he whispered back, “Always, Mrs. Jung.”

She pulled away and held his cheeks just as tenderly as her own son. “Gosh San-ah, you get more handsome every time you come to visit.”

San’s cheeks lit up as Wooyoung playfully nudged him, “What about me, Mom? How handsome am I?”

“Your good looks are all thanks to me.” Mrs. Jung scoffed, leading them down the platform steps to where the family car was parked. “I gave you those beautiful eyes. Your beauty marks are my grandmother’s genes. Not to mention that nose of yours. So, if I praise you, I will only be praising myself and I am more humble than that.”

Wooyoung let out a disbelieving huff, “Can’t even compliment your own son.”

“She just complimented you like 5 times, were you even listening?” San asked. He held the passenger door open for Wooyoung to climb in before moving to the back seat with their stuff. 

“I expected more.”

“Your own fault.”

“Don’t patronize me! I need reassurance.”

San stared incredulously at the back of Wooyoung’s head before reaching forward and smacking it. Mrs. Jung failed to stifle a laugh.

“Jung Wooyoung, I shower you in compliments constantly, there is no way you need more of an ego boost.”

“Ow San!” Wooyoung whined, rubbing at his head and turning to shoot him a glare. “Now I really deserve a compliment for this abuse.”

San rolled his eyes but leaned forward to hook his chin on Wooyoung’s shoulder. “Youngie, you are the most handsome, sexy, hot piece of ass to grace this planet. So hot that you rival fucking Ryan Gosling.”

Wooyoung gasped. “No. You don’t mean that. He’s on our celebrity bang list!”

Mrs. Jung laughed at that, “Please, try to remember your mother is in the car with you.”

San slapped his hands over his cheeks to hide their bright red glow. Right. Mrs. Jung was sitting right there, maybe he should censor himself a little.

Wooyoung didn’t help, merely laughing loudly and leaning over the middle console, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “Sorry, forgot about that. Can we stop at Good Lil’ Cafe for breakfast?”

“There’s a box of their pastries in the back and fresh coffee brewing at home.” Mrs. Jung replied easily, barely sparing Wooyoung a glance as they turned down the familiar road into Wooyoung’s neighborhood.

“You’re an actual goddess.” Wooyoung said with reverence.

San snorted, “You’re just predictable. No offense, Mrs. Jung.”

“None taken.” Mrs. Jung turned into their driveway and parked the car. “He is predictable. But I am also a goddess.”

“Of course.” San agreed, gathering his things and Wooyoung’s, “Would never dare think anything different.”

Mrs. Jung pointed a non-threatening finger at San, “Good. Remember that.”

Wooyoung hopped out of the car and opened the door for San, offering him a quick smile when San quirked an eyebrow at the action.

Wooyoung’s house exuded warmth. It was a quaint, two story wood home that was nestled in a small town. The usually bright front garden was withered and frosted over from the harsh winter weather, though no snow had fallen yet. Twinkling holiday lights wrapped around the trimming of the house and decorated the barren trees. Like most houses in the area, the Jung’s didn’t have an actual fence, or really any concept of a property line. Houses and yards blended into each other in a confusing mess of footpaths and twisting streams.

The house itself was beautiful, if not slightly strange. There were windows nearly everywhere, old stained glass ones, recycled port-style windows, industrial grid windows. Some planks of wood were painted with bright rainbow colors while others looked about 3 seconds away from peeling away from the home.

San loved it.

They stepped out of the early morning cold and into the warm home, Wooyoung’s older brother instantly stepping forward to help with the luggage and giving both Wooyoung and San long hugs.

After settling their things into their rooms - San was given the guest room, but Mrs. Jung made it clear she had no issues if the boys wanted to share Wooyoung’s room - they rejoined Mrs. Jung in the kitchen for breakfast. Mr. Jung was at work already and Wooyoung’s older brother had left to drop Wooyoung’s younger brother off at school before going to work himself. Mrs. Jung had taken the day off, she was the well respected seamstress of their small city, to welcome the boys.

They talked pleasantly for nearly an hour. Mrs. Jung tried to be subtle about asking them about their ‘relationship’, but she had about as much subtlety as Wooyoung had impulse control. But San and Wooyoung had, surprisingly, prepared well for this. Wooyoung fielded most of the questions with ease, telling his mom the cover story they had already come up with, San nodding along and piping up occasionally.

It was easy to be ‘with’ Wooyoung and pretty damn believable. Mrs. Jung was nearly beaming when the coffee pot ran dry and the pastries became cold.

“Are the hyungs home yet?” Wooyoung asked around a bite of San’s croissant. “Oh and when will Jongho come back?”

“They came back two days ago, stopped by for some tea. And our Jjongie came home late last night, but he hasn’t come to visit me yet, that brat.” Mrs. Jung teased the last part with a smile, both San and Wooyoung bursting into laughter.

Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and Jongho. 3 of Wooyoung’s 4 close childhood friends. San had never met them in person, but had talked plenty of times over Facetime and once was added to their ‘Dirty Delinquents + Jongho’ group chat to settle an argument, before being kicked out again.

Wooyoung talked highly of them, near insistently about them, and San was both excited and nervous to meet them in person.

As if sensing his growing anxiety, Wooyoung turned to him and took his hand. “Hey, big brain over there, it’ll be okay. They’ll love you.”

San gulped, “They’re so important to you, what if I make the wrong impression?”

San unconsciously squeezed Wooyoung’s hand at the sudden admission of insecurity.

“They will love you, San. It’s hard not to.” Wooyoung smiled at him, leaning over just enough to knock their foreheads together. With one last comforting smile, Wooyoung pulled away and looked to his mom. “I have to ship Sangie’s present to him today so it gets to him in time, could we borrow the car to go to the post office?”

Sangie, or Yeosang, was Wooyoung’s closest friend who was studying in Japan. Much like San himself, neither Yeosang nor his family could afford for his trip home, so he stayed in Japan nearly year round. It was difficult for Yeosang, his family, and the Jungs, who viewed Yeosang as their own son. San had been Wooyoung’s shoulder to cry on in the rare moments of vulnerability, when the aching need to see his best friend was too much.

San had talked to Yeosang a lot over the years. More than once, Wooyoung had drunkenly called up his best friend, only to need to pass off the phone to San when something else had caught his attention. They had exchanged phone numbers and texted occasionally, even Facetimed twice when they were both bored.

San liked him, thought they could be good friends even, but had never met him in person.

Mrs. Jung smiled as she began clearing their dishes, “Of course. I have a special present for you that should arrive in an hour or two, but you can go after that, okay?”

Wooyoung beamed, “Thanks! You’re the best.”

He stood and easily grabbed the dishes from his mother’s arms. Mrs. Jung playfully hit his arm with a rag, but didn’t protest. San sidled up beside Wooyoung, drying and putting the dishes away as he made quick work of cleaning them.

The morning was quiet after that. Mrs. Jung was busy hemming some overalls for a neighbor, and the house was empty besides the three of them. Wooyoung and San busied themselves with pulling out the dusty holiday decorations and beginning to get the house into the ‘holiday spirit’. The pair sat together on the ground in the hallway, completely surrounded by the absurdly large collection of decorations.

Wooyoung held up a small Santa Claus statue which was wearing a neon pink jockstrap and holding a margarita in one hand. “Us when we’re 80.”

San snorted and threw a peanut butter and jelly themed tree ornament at his head.

They got lost in the task for some time, making snide comments to each other and periodically trying to shove each other to the ground, like the responsible adults they were. They both completely forgot about Mrs. Jung’s ‘surprise’ for Wooyoung until knocking at the front door shocked them both from their task.

“I’ll get the door!” Wooyoung called, already on his feet and making his way to the front door.

Mrs. Jung appeared in front of them. “No you won’t. Sit your ass down in the kitchen and close your eyes.” She looked to San and added, “Make sure his eyes are shut. No peeking. No peeking.”

San slapped his hands over Wooyoung’s eyes and steered him towards the kitchen. Wooyoung protested loudly, and even tried to trip San, but San knew him well enough to side step the attempt with ease and shoved him into a seat at the kitchen table.

Distantly, San could hear Mrs. Jung opening the door, and some muffled conversation, before two pairs of footsteps started towards them. Beneath his hands, Wooyoung perked.

Mrs. Jung appeared and motioned for San to uncover his eyes. Wooyoung huffed and even took the time to turn to San and poke his tongue out at him before turning his curious eyes to his mom, and the mysterious guest.

Or the not so mysterious guest as Yeosang stepped out from the hallway and into the kitchen with a shy smile.

Wooyoung’s reaction was immediate. He sprang from his seat with a loud, “Sangie! Yeosang you asshole !”

Wooyoung absolutely launched himself at Yeosang, full body tackle style, sending both of them tumbling to the ground in a confusing mess of limbs.

“ Fuck Woo!” Yeosang laughed as his body made a jarring impact with the floor. “Can’t you greet me like a normal human being for once.”

Wooyoung ignored him, pulling away just enough to grasp Yeosang’s head between his hands, peppering his face with kisses. Yeosang laughed, surprisingly high pitched for his low voice.

“I missed you, you fuckface!” Wooyoung exclaimed, planting a firm kiss to his lips before hugging him close once again. “I thought you couldn’t come home until the summer?”

“Surprise?” Yeosang tried to shrug, but the barnacle attached to him by the name of Wooyoung made the gesture impossible. “The Kims, the Parks, and your family piled money for me to come home as a surprise to you and my family.”

Wooyoung let out a dry sounding sob and Yeosang’s face crumbled in concern, “Woo? Are you okay?”

Another little hiccuping sob. “Shut up. I hate you. I haven’t been able to hug you like this in over 2 years, let me be a little emotional.”

“Crybaby.” Yeosang murmured back, but San caught sight of his wet eyes as he ducked his head into Wooyoung’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for another few minutes, having a low, mumbled conversation that San tried not to eavesdrop on, though Wooyoung had never been the best whisperer. Wooyoung’s mom watched them for a few moments before joining San’s side, patting his shoulder a few times.

“Yeosang’s a sweetheart. You’ll love him, though it may take him a few days to get comfortable around you.” She said, before starting up the stove to make them all lunch.

Wooyoung had warned San of the same thing multiple times. Sure, Yeosang could go on and on about the most niche things when you got to know him, but he was incredibly shy, especially when meeting people for the first time. San hoped that their few meetings over the phone would quell any awkwardness, but knew to be patient if Yeosang was slightly withdrawn around him.

Eventually, they pulled apart, both with slightly wet cheeks but beaming grins. Wooyoung clambered off of Yeosang, helped him to his feet, before thrusting him in San’s direction.

“Sannie, Sangie. Sangie, Sannie.” Wooyoung announced proudly, shoving Yeosang’s back a little when he stayed stock still, staring at San with wide eyes. “That’s when you say ‘hi! Nice to meet you!’”

Yeosang seemed to come to his senses, cheeks going bright red as he reached a tentative hand out to San. “Nice to meet you formally, San-ssi.”

San beamed and spread his arms for a hug. “Pleasure’s all mine, Yeosangie! Can I hug you?”

“Oh sur-”

Before Yeosang could finish his sentence, Wooyoung pushed Yeosang into San’s open arms with a cackle. San caught him with a surprised groan, but gladly wrapped his arms around him all the same.

“It’s nice to actually meet you San, not just through a phone.” Yeosang said into his collarbone.

“You too. The phone does your beauty no justice.”

Yeosang huffed and pulled away, “Reputation ruined. That was slimy as hell.”

Beside them, Wooyoung pouted, “No fair, my best friend is already seducing my boyfriend? I mean, I saw it coming but still that was qui-”

“You guys are dating?” Yeosang interrupted, looking between the pair with inquisitive, sparkling eyes that San had the urge to brush his fingers beneath. Which he belatedly realized was a very weird thing to think.

Wooyoung grimaced, “Ah. Yeah we are, I’m sorry I forgot to tell you.”

Wooyoung and San had discussed at ridiculous length about whether they would tell Yeosang about their little plan or just leave it be. They had mutually agreed that leaving Yeosang out of the loop wouldn’t hurt anyone, though his sudden reappearance certainly threw a small wrench in their entire plan.

Wooyoung could never lie to Yeosang. Yeosang could never lie to anyone around him in general.

Yeosang’s eyebrows furrowed for a second, before his face brightened in genuine happiness. “You idiot! You should’ve told me!” Yeosang playfully punched Wooyoung’s arm before addressing San, “Sorry you have to deal with him now, but thanks for taking him off my hands.”

San snorted as Wooyoung protested loudly.

Yeosang rolled his eyes and spun back to Wooyoung, “And what do you mean I’m seducing him! Clearly he was coming onto me!”

San threw his hands up, ready to defend himself and, hopefully, pull himself from the shallow grave he had dug. It seemed completely unnecessary because as Yeosang finished, Wooyoung was already draping himself over Yeosang’s back.

“No one can resist your charm, Sangie, no matter how thorny your personality may come off!” Wooyoung nodded to himself seriously. “It’s not like I blame San, you’re simply too handsome!”

“He’s not thorny.” San said without thinking.

Both Yeosang and Wooyoung looked at him incredulously. San’s cheeks heated up and he coughed into his hand to try and hide his awkwardness.

Wooyoung waved him off, “Of course he’s not actually thorny. He’s precious and sweet and maybe a bit too naive for his own good. But he comes off as cold sometimes, you know. It's his eyebrows.”

Yeosang’s hands rose to self consciously feel along his brow ridge.

“I never thought he was cold.” San said seriously. Yeosang had always seemed like a warm, if not slightly quiet, presence, but never cold or intimidating.

Wooyoung snorted, “That’s because nothing intimidates you. You could stare down a shark and not be fazed.” 

“Why would I be scared of a shark?”

“My point exactly.”

“What do you mean it’s my eyebrows!” Yeosang said, staring at the pair with clear distress. “You can’t just say that and not explain yourself to me!”

Wooyoung ignored him, “C’mon, let’s see if my mom needs any help with lunch.”

Seeing Wooyoung and Yeosang interact in person was surreal. San had seen his fair share of light hearted fights and bickering over the phone and was well aware that they were both quick witted and fairly ruthless. Still, there was an easy casualness to the way they moved around each other that instantly endeared San. They kept a steady stream of quips and jokes going as they worked seamlessly with each other. Yeosang holding out a spoon before Wooyoung could even ask. Wooyoung opened his mouth to taste before Yeosang had even lifted the fork. They were scarily in sync with each other.

Mrs. Jung smiled at them with open adoration, ruffling Yeosang’s hair or pinching his cheeks so easily. Yeosang really was like a son to her.

San tried to give them space to reunite, he knew how much Wooyoung had missed his best friend and the sudden reunion was probably still sinking in. But Yeosang, surprisingly, didn’t let him withdraw too much. He engaged San in their conversations with a gentle smile, gestured him over when they were chopping vegetables, and asked him to help set the table together. It caught San by surprise, he had heard over and over that Yeosang was intensely shy and especially timid around strangers.

But Yeosang was making such a clear effort, Wooyoung and Mrs. Jung beaming with pride every time he made a small gesture towards San.

“So, boys, what’s your plan for the rest of the day?” Mrs. Jung asked as she served their plates at the table, adding an extra scoop of rice for San with a wink.

Wooyoung was basically vibrating at his seat, “I wanna take San and Sang to downtown so we can do some Christmas shopping. Hopefully the others can meet in the afternoon and we can catch up. Oh and maybe a Christmas movie tonight, like Home Alone or-”

“Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.” Yeosang interrupted.

Wooyoung sent him a glare, “You can’t just watch them out of order. You have to-”

“I like Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House.” San said.

Wooyoung opened his mouth with an affronted look.

Yeosang cut him off before he could say anything, “Santa Clause 2 is always a good option.”

“Or The Nightmare before Christmas.”

“That’s a Halloween movie!” Wooyoung cried, “That’s it, you’re both banned from suggesting movies for the rest of our break. Horrible movie etiquette, my god.”

San laughed loudly while Yeosang tried to hide his laughter behind his hand.

“Sounds like a good idea. I’ll pull out some of our old DVDs and see what we still have.” Mrs.Jung offered.

“No one uses DVDs anymore, Mom.” Wooyoung grumbled, pouting because of all the teasing.

“Don’t listen to him, Mrs. Jung, DVDs are the new retro.” Yeosang said. Wooyoung reached over and hit his arm.

“You boys should get going,” Mrs. Jung easily ignored the bickering, “It’s supposed to snow in the next few hours and I would rather not have you driving once it starts.”

“Sure. We’ll do the dishes then be off. Want me to pick up take out for dinner tonight?” Wooyoung offered. He stood and began gathering their empty dishes.

Mrs. Jung swatted at him as he passed on his way to the kitchen, to which he stuck his tongue out at her for. “How dare you insinuate that I won’t be making a huge welcome home dinner for all of you. Bad son.”

Wooyoung cackled but didn’t say anything more. San and Yeosang stood together, shooting each other small grins as they moved to help Wooyoung at the sink. 

It was strangely comforting how quickly this felt normal.

Downtown was beautiful, San was always struck by the charm of it. There were warm string lights decorating the streets, crisscrossing from the tops of buildings to create a tunnel of light. Though no snow had fallen yet, frost was thick on the ground and trees, slick concrete slippery enough to have Wooyoung ushering Yeosang between San and Wooyoung.

“Don’t deny it, you’re about as graceful as a baby fawn.” Wooyoung said, lacing his arm through Yeosang’s protectively.

“Saying baby in front of fawn is redundant.” Yeosang grumbled, but let it happen, allowing San’s arm to tangle through his own with only a small grumble.

As if on cue, Yeosang’s foot skidded across a patch of ice. Both Wooyoung and San braced themselves and helped him stay stable.

He pouted, jutting his lips out and turning an unintimidating glare towards Wooyoung, “Not a fucking word, asshole.”

Wooyoung laughed outright while San snickered, turning his face away to hopefully escape Yeosang’s ‘wrath’. Yeosang whirled on him, “ Don’t .”

“You’re cute!” San announced, pinching Yeosang’s cheeks with his free hand. Wooyoung copied the action on the other cheek.

“I hate you!” Yeosang yanked his arms free, taking a confident step forward. Only to have his feet slipping once again. Wooyoung and San both lunged for him, keeping him upright as he let out an embarrassed huff.

“Accept the help, idiot.” Wooyoung scolded lightly.

Yeosang didn’t respond, just allowed them to escort him down the sidewalk to the shops.

They weaved in and out of the shops as the afternoon sun dipped down. Yeosang had brought most of his gifts with him from Japan, so he didn’t have much to do. San had most of his gifts taken care of, though now was frantically but subtly trying to find something for Yeosang as well. Wooyoung picked up on it and led them to the used bookstore at the end of the block.

“You’re both ridiculous and like reading. Get each other a book and be happy with it, okay?” Wooyoung said, pushing them through the door and immediately beelining it to the vintage posters at the back with an excited exclamation.

San turned to Yeosang, “Were you really trying to get me a gift too?”

“Well if you guys had just told me you were dating and you were gonna be here for Christmas I would have something special from Japan for you.” Yeosang said, a little pout on his lips.

“We didn’t know you were gonna be here!” San defended, though his words were laced with clear amusement. “Plus, you really don’t need to get me anything, we basically just met.”

Yeosang pointed an accusatory finger at him, “You were also trying to sneakily get me a present hypocrite!”

“Hey-”

“Hypocrite!” Yeosang poked his chest once for good measure. “Now tell me what type of books you like so I can get you a better present than Wooyoung.” 

“You don’t need to worry about that, I’m pretty sure he just got me a thrifted jacket that I’ve been eyeing for a few months.” San said, brushing aside Yeosang’s worries. Or at least trying to.

“If you don’t tell me what type of book you like I’m gonna track down the most grossly heterosexual porno book I can and record myself reading it out loud for you.” Yeosang threatened.

San laughed, “Who's to say I wouldn’t like that?”

“Gross!”

San laughed a bit louder as they began to wander down one of the aisles together. He could see why Wooyoung liked teasing him so much, Yeosang’s reactions were both funny and adorable.

“Just get me your favorite book,” San relented, “I’m sure you have good taste and I love reading other people’s favorite books.”

“I do too.” Yeosang said, hand mindlessly trailing over the spines of the books they passed. “There’s something so personal about it, intimate I guess.”

“So I’ll get you my favorite book and you can get me yours, good?”

Yeosang smiled, “Good. Now shoo, you can’t see it before it’s time.”

San bid his wishes and wandered away, looking for a book that came to mind when he had first seen Yeosang. He found it relatively quickly. It was an old addition, the spine cracked with use and love, the cover crinkled. Some of the pages were full of annotations, and there was a small note in the back of the book addressed to someone named Eden. It was perfect.

San stuffed it up under his shirt and went to check out before Yeosang could catch sight of it.

“Good choice.” The cashier said, looking over the book with adoring eyes. “I love this book, one of my favorites.”

San beamed, “Mine too. I’m giving it to my friend over there for Christmas.”

The cashier’s eyes wandered to Yeosang with interest. “Friend?”

“Yeah. Or, well, my boyfriend’s friend, I guess. This is the first time I’m meeting him in person like this. He studies abroad in Japan and doesn’t -” San cut himself off and rubbed sheepishly at his neck. “Sorry, you definitely didn’t need to know all of that.”

The cashier laughed not unkindly, “No worries. He’s quite handsome.”

“He is. Wooyoung, my boyfriend, says that he’s always compared to a statue. But I think he’s too warm to be a statue.” San rambled again, internally cursing himself for his lack of brain-mouth filter.

“He single?” The cashier asked, leaning against the counter to let his eyes trail over Yeosang appraisingly.

San startled slightly. Wooyoung had once told him about the constant advances that Yeosang had to deal with. It made sense, considering Yeosang’s beauty truly was otherworldly. And sure, San had had his fair share of people hit on him or ask his friends for his number, but this had to be the most blatant anyone had ever been in their interest.

He glanced over his shoulder at where Yeosang was holding two books, looking between the two with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips. San’s lips twitched in a small smile, watching as Yeosang huffed in annoyance, the puff of air strong enough to blow some of his hair away from his forehead.

“Uh yeah, I think he is. But I don’t think he’s really looking for anything right now.” San said candidly, taking his book with a small smile towards the cashier. “You can ask him yourself when he comes up here though?”

The cashier smiled at San, “Yeah great, thanks man.”

San only nodded, quickly making his way to Wooyoung in true Best Friend fashion to tell him about what just happened.

“Oh shit.” Wooyoung moaned once San was done recounting his story. “Yeosang gets pretty awkward and flustered when people flirt with him, but he’s too nice to stop them. C’mon, we gotta go play referee for him.”

Wooyoung grasped San’s hand firmly and they went back to the front. Yeosang was a bright red, flustered mess. San and Wooyoung exchanged a look as Wooyoung swooped in to divert the conversation with ease that obviously came from being in this situation too many times. San shifted from foot to foot, before moving to the other side of Yeosang, offering the cashier a sympathetic smile as Wooyoung brushed his advances off and herded Yeosang out the door.

“Sorry about that Sang, great way to be greeted home, right?” Wooyoung joked, leading them back to where the car was parked.

Yeosang waved him off easily, “No worries, I’m used to it as much as I hate it. Can we stop at Good Lil Cafe before we go back?”

“We had it for breakfast,” Wooyoung started as Yeosang’s face fell.

“Oh, that’s oka-”

“But of course we can!” Wooyoung finished, pinching Yeosang’s cheek again who leaned so far back he knocked into San. “It’s your first time home in two years! What kind of friend would I be to deny you the sweet goodness of your favorite cafe.”

“San? You okay with it?” Yeosang asked, wide eyes trained carefully on San’s reaction.

San opened his mouth to reassure Yeosang that, yes of course he was okay with it, but Wooyoung beat him to it with a small laugh.

“You should’ve seen San this morning when he first tried the pastries. Dry orgasm style, eyes rolling back and everything.” Wooyoung said, his naturally loud voice bouncing off the old buildings and getting a few looks from other pedestrians. “He loved it a little too much.”

Yeosang laughed loudly, covering his face with his hands. San shrieked, hitting Wooyoung repeatedly and chasing him down the sidewalk when he tried to escape the assault.

“Fuck you Jung Wooyoung and your fat mouth!”

“Funny, you’ve never complained about my fat mouth before.”

“Yah!”

They returned in almost one piece. Yeosang’s face was bright with happiness and San had a feeling his was too. Despite Wooyoung’s lack of appropriate filter, the easy teasing was nice for San to relax with, distracting him from overthinking meeting the rest of their friends later that night for dinner.

The rest of Wooyoung’s family was around when they got home, but the house was relatively quiet in the lull of the early evening. Yeosang parted from them briefly to return home, promising to come back for dinner when Wooyoung nearly refused to let go of his hand.

“You big old baby, let go and cuddle with your boyfriend instead.”

“My boyfriend isn’t you though.”

“Should I be offended?” San had asked with a laugh.

“Should I be flattered?” Yeosang said with a disgusted face.

Wooyoung didn’t really have anything to worry about, Yeosang returned barely an hour later with a container full of homemade sugar cookies from his mom. Beside him was a slightly shorter boy with faded pink hair, mused by the chilly wind. Behind them was another boy, taller than the two, with round cheeks and bright eyes. Yeosang looked between San and the two, obviously not quite sure how to introduce them.

The boy beside him took the initiative easily, nudging past Yeosang into the hallway, sticking his hand out for San to shake. “Hi, I’m Hongjoong. You must be San.”

“Nice to meet you, hyung.” San beamed, forgoing the handshake and hugging Hongjoong instead, who let out a noise of surprise. 

Yeosang snorted but didn’t intervene.

When San pulled away, Hongjoong gestured to the other boy, “That’s Jongho, my younger brother.”

“Step brother.” Jongho said, also pushing past Yeosang and nodding in greeting to San.

“Why do you always feel the need to point that out?” Hongjoong whined slightly, pulling his coat and shoes off before turning to let Yeosang through the door frame and helping him take off his own coat.

San took their coats and hung them up before leading them - quite uselessly since the childhood friends had been to Wooyoung’s house far more than San had - to the living room where the Jung’s were sitting around and talking pleasantly with each other. As the Kim brothers and Yeosang stepped through, the room erupted into loud welcomes, Wooyoung’s family, minus his mom, swarming Yeosang to welcome him home.

San watched with a big, wistful smile, as the family and friends reunited happily. He had had his own childhood friends who still held a close place in his heart, but never a connection with their families quite like this. This was special.

Wooyoung caught sight of San hanging around the edge and all but yanked him into the mess of limbs and bodies. San was thrust from one person to another as though he had just arrived too, before landing beside Yeosang, who laughed at his overwhelmed look.

“They know how to make you feel at home.” Yeosang leaned over to say, watching Wooyoung’s dad hug Jongho with a fond smile. “I missed them more than I realized.”

“It must have been hard for you.” San said, looking at Yeosang’s side profile. “Wooyoung was pretty much a wreck here, and he still had his family and friends close by. I can’t imagine being alone in a foreign country.”

Yeosang shrugged, though his eyebrows pulled together. “It wasn’t easy. Don’t tell Wooyoung, but it was harder than I ever really told him. I didn’t want to worry him too much. Oh my god, I’ve known you for like 5 hours and I’m already spilling my guts to you.”

San smiled gently at him, daring to even sling his arm over Yeosang’s shoulders in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. “C’mon now, we’ve known each other for 2 years now, this is just our first time meeting in person. And don’t worry, I won’t tell Wooyoung, but you should tell him that yourself. I’m sure he’d rather know this about you than be left in the dark. You know what he’s like.”

“Nosy beyond all reason?”

San laughed and nodded. “Yes, for sure, but I meant protective to a fault. He’s probably already assumed all that and is worrying about you not going to him for help.”

“You’re right. I hate that you’re right.” Yeosang sighed and looked down for a second, thoughtful. He looked back at San and smiled, “Thanks. You’re surprisingly easy to talk to.”

Wooyoung caught San’s eyes from across the room, smiling at him encouragingly when he spotted Yeosang beside him. San rolled his eyes.

“Talk to him. When you feel ready, of course, but still, you should eventually.” San said, tightening his hold on his shoulders a little before releasing him entirely. “Now I must go wrangle my boyfriend before he forgets we’re supposed to make the appetizers for tonight.”

Yeosang waved him off, “Go, god knows Wooyoung probably already forgot. I’m gonna call Seonghwa-hyung and see if he’s close.”

San moved easily through the throng of happy, chatting people to get to Wooyoung and bodily herded him to the kitchen so they could start the food. Wooyoung only managed to stay in the kitchen and focused for around 10 minutes before the sound of Seonghwa arriving distracted him again. San let him go, knowing that Wooyoung needed to see Seonghwa before he’d be of any use again.

But Yeosang’s sudden presence managed to surprise San pleasantly. Yeosang wordlessly joined him at the counter, taking over Wooyoung’s job of cutting the vegetables with relative ease. He only gave San a heart attack once, when the knife skidded down the side of a carrot and nearly nicked his finger. San banned him to stirring the broth only after that.

Seonghwa came to introduce himself, Wooyoung in his leech form hanging off of the elder’s arm and whining the entire time that Seonghwa wasn’t giving him enough attention. Luckily for both Seonghwa and San, he was quickly distracted by teasing Yeosang for being given the ‘easiest job’ and ‘Can’t even chop vegetables right’.

Seonghwa took advantage of Wooyoung’s distraction quickly.

“Hi San-ssi, it’s really nice to finally meet you in person. I’m Seonghwa, you can call me hyung if you’re comfortable with it.” Seonghwa said with a warm smile.

“I’ve been calling you hyung in my head for years already.” San confessed, embracing Seonghwa in a strangely comforting hug, as though they had known each other for years already. “Sorry that was weird. But the truth.”

Seonghwa chuckled lightly, cheeks slightly pink, “No it was cute, thank you for feeling comfortable with me.”

“Thank you for being comfortable.” San countered teasingly.

“Oh god,” Seonghwa shook his head, “Another brat. Yeosang and Wooyoung have my hands full already.”

“And from the looks of it, Jongho isn’t the perfect angel.” San said.

“ Yes . Thank you! Everyone always says Jongho’s this perfect little angel but he’s a menace .” Seonghwa said, looking legitimately relieved that San had said that.

“What are you saying about me?” Jongho asked, not exactly intimidating but radiating latent strength that had San wincing.

“That you’re my angel baby and I love you.” Seonghwa replied easily, turning around as though he knew Jongho was going to be there and smacked a kiss on his cheek.

Jongho recoiled backwards with a loud noise of disgust. “Dirty liar.”

San let out a short laugh, watching the interaction with a weird sense of familiarity. Hongjoong soon joined them in the kitchen and conversation moved easily. Though San was perfectly content letting the longtime friends catch up with each other and stay on the sidelines for now, they didn’t let that happen. They always asked San for his opinion, questions about his life and his degree, teased him as though he was already a part of their group. Everytime it happened, Wooyoung would grin, huge and adoring, obviously relieved that his friends were inclusive with San.

They had to keep up the pretense of dating, which was harder than San had anticipated in front of Wooyoung’s friends. It wasn’t that they seemed suspicious of their act, but more that San was so exceedingly comfortable in front of them that his mind slipped at times. Wooyoung, surprisingly, did a good job of gently reminding San, holding his hand, casual but intimate hugs and cheek kisses, even leaving a light press of his lips against San’s temple as San sat at the kitchen table talking to Jongho. Wooyoung did the whole disgusting domesticity surprisingly well for someone who was never the biggest fan of relationships.

Wooyoung’s mom eventually, unintentionally, intervened, shooing the boys out of the kitchen once the appetizers were ready to finish dinner for them.

“Look.” Yeosang’s soft voice stopped San in the hallway. He was peering out the window into the already darkened yard. “First snow of the year.”

San leaned forward to look out, offhandedly noticing the warmth radiating from Yeosang as his chest brushed against his back. It was snowing, soft blurs of white drifting down. “It’s beautiful. I love the snow.”

Yeosang smiled. His breath fogged the window slightly. “I do too. It slows everything down. Wooyoung hates the snow, I’m sure you know. He’ll be hard to deal with for the next few days.”

“He gets cabin fever quickly.” San agreed, well aware of Wooyoung’s hatred for being forced to stay inside when not on his own terms. “I’ll find ways to entertain him.”

San didn’t register the underlying innuendo until after Yeosang snorted and nudged at him slightly, “Alright pervert, too much information.”

San began stuttering as Yeosang walked away with a teasing smirk. He followed after Yeosang with a small whine, “That’s not what I meant.”

Yeosang turned his head away pointedly, “I do not want to know what my best friend gets up to in bed. Nope, not interested. He’s already way too okay talking about that shit with me, I don’t need that from you too.”

“Yeosang.” San whined again, drawing out Yeosang’s name and tugging at his arm. He chuckled when he saw Yeosang’s big grin, ill concealed as he tried to keep his face turned away from San. “Yeosang c’mon.”

They joined the others in the living room, a warm fire lighting the space up pleasantly as people ate the thin stew and steamed dumplings that San and Wooyoung had prepared.

San sat beside Wooyoung, who melted into his side easily with a small smile, eyes flickering between Yeosang and San eagerly.

“I’m glad you guys get along.” Wooyoung whispered, uncharacteristic of the bumbling mass of energy. “I never doubted that you would, but it’s still good to see Yeosang warming up to someone so quickly.”

“Well, we have known each other for 2 years already.” San pointed out, keeping with Wooyoung’s low tone to not draw attention to them.

“It’s different.” Wooyoung insisted. He took a bite of a dumpling, chewing absentmindedly, eyes fixed on a blank point far away. “It’s just different for Yeosang. He’s just… just trust me.”

San nodded, not really understanding but humoring Wooyoung. It seemed important to him, he seemed adamant about it.

Across the room, Yeosang caught his eye and offered a small, genuine smile.

Yeosang was around constantly. So were all of the friends, really, but Yeosang split his time near evenly between the Jung’s home and his own, carrying food and presents from one house to another, bundled in large coats and bright beanies as he moved between.

Some days he spent the night, crashing on the couch or, more often, in one of the rooms. Since San was, allegedly, Wooyoung’s boyfriend, he should be spending his nights in Wooyoung’s bed. That had never really been an issue between them, they had fit into twin beds together in the dorms, sharing a queen was no issue. The issue came because it felt almost improper, like his family thought the pair were having sex or something. And San knew they didn’t have an issue with that as a general rule, but it still felt strange.

So, San would often usher Yeosang into the empty spot in Wooyoung’s bed, saying he didn’t want to be rude by sleeping with Wooyoung on his first trip home as his boyfriend. And Yeosang believed him, giving him a small, confused look before shrugging and accepting the excuse and cuddling into his best friend’s side.

San always felt a familiar, soft pang in his heart seeing the pair so easily mesh together. They were adorable, their adoration towards one another unmatched and palpable. It made San even sadder thinking about the years they had spent apart.

“But Mom.” Wooyoung’s high whine distracted San from his musings as he did a puzzle in the dining room.

“No buts. Family tradition.” Mrs. Jung’s voice shot back with the easy endurance of a mother.

“What about Sannie? And Yeosangie? They can’t survive an afternoon without me.” Wooyoung leveraged, perking San up at the sound of his name.

“That’s why they will be making some Christmas cookies for me.” Mrs. Jung countered, before Wooyoung could protest again, she called out, “Won’t you, San dear? Can you and Yeosang make me some cookies while we do a family trip out to Wooyoung’s Auntie?”

San poked his head into the kitchen where Wooyoung and his mom were having the standoff. Wooyoung sent him a halfhearted plea with his eyes, but seemed resigned to the fact that San would inevitably choose his mom over him.

“Of course, Mrs. Jung. Any particular recipe?” San agreed with a charming smile.

Wooyoung groaned, head tossed back as Mrs. Jung beamed. She pulled out a hefty cookbook and opened it to almost the back. “These are our family recipes, the dessert recipes are all at the back, and the Christmas cookies have small snowman stickers next to them. We should have the ingredients for nearly all of them, except for maybe the ginger snaps or fig rolls. Whichever you and Yeosangie feel up to, I’m just happy for the help.”

“My pleasure, Mrs. Jung! We’ll have delicious cookies ready when you return.” San smiled, flipping Wooyoung off subtly when he called him a kiss ass. “When is Yeosang coming over?”

“He’s on his way now.” Mrs. Jung was beaming as she finished packing the ‘picnic’ they were bringing with them. “Oh thank you dear, I was worried I would have to stay up tonight making those.”

“No worries, I’m always happy to help.”

Mrs. Jung leaned over and stage whispered to Wooyoung, “Keep him.”

Wooyoung and San shared a wary smile.

Yeosang showed up only a few minutes after the Jungs had left, bundled up tight in several layers to protect himself from the snowfall outside.

San helped him peel away the articles of clothing with an amused laugh, pushing Yeosang’s beanie down over his eyes when he started complaining about San taking too long.

“Wha- San!” Yeosang pouted and tried to push the beanie back up. San pushed it back down, enjoying the flustered whine Yeosang let out as he tried to both pull off his boots and get the beanie back to sitting correctly on his head. “ San .”

San laughed but relented, ducking down to be eye level with Yeosang as he sent him a glare, “Ready to make some cookies, Sang-ah?”

“Ready to kick some annoying ass.” Yeosang growled back, kicking out and hitting San’s butt with his foot.

San giggled, “Wooyoung’s not here though.”

“He doesn’t need to be.” Yeosang said, chasing San down the hallway to the kitchen.

San had already pulled out all of the baking supplies, setting it neatly on the kitchen table. It obviously took Yeosang by surprise as he pulled up short, looking around at the miscellaneous ingredients and supplies.

“ Fuck . Are we feeding a bunch of munchie-crazed college students or something?” Yeosang picked up a small bottle of peppermint extract. “I thought you put this in humidifiers?”

San snatched it from him, “I hope not, it was in the cabinet with all of their baking supplies. Which recipes do you want to start with?”

Yeosang was not paying attention. He picked up the shortening with a disgusted face, “What is this?”

San laughed and grabbed it, “Shortening, you idiot. Though you’re short enough.”

“Tall enough to-”

“I got it, I got it.” San pushed Yeosang gently towards the recipe book. “Now pick some recipes. And by the way, Wooyoung has told me on multiple occasions that you’re not actually capable of causing harm to someone, so your threats are a bit, well, nonthreatening.”

The only response he got was another kick, this one landing lightly on his upper thigh.

Yeosang leaned over the recipe book and flipped through them with easy carelessness until he stopped at a page. He bent closer, inspecting the colorful picture, before turning and presenting it to San with an adorable grin.

“This one?” He asked hopefully.

San had to tear his eyes away from Yeosang’s eyes to look at the recipe he had chosen, only to look back at the boy incredulously.

“You want to try to make bark? Like with a candy thermometer and all that shit?” San asked, feeling bad instantly as Yeosang’s face fell and he looked at the recipe again.

“Is it that hard? It seems easy, and I know Wooyoungie’s little brother likes it.” Yeosang’s voice trailed off at the end.

San winced, “No no, we can do it! It’ll be challenging, but not impossible. Oh my god, I never want to see you sad again, you just broke my heart. We’ll make the bark, and we’ll make it fucking fantastic.”

Yeosang perked up, face lighting again with a brilliant smile. “Thank you! We can make anything else you want, but I really want the bark.” 

“We’ll start with the bark, and work from there.” San promised gently, fondly petting at the soft hairs laying against Yeosang’s neck. “C’mon, let’s get started so we can watch a movie before they get home.”

Yeosang was, unsurprisingly, a subpar sous chef. San often had to repeat things or re-explain them for him, but he was a good worker and eager to help. And San was patient with him, Yeosang’s joy was contagious and San just wanted to keep him giggly and happy.

The bark turned out good. They burnt the sugar on their first try and the chocolate on the second try, but ended up with a delicious ‘fucking mouthwatering ’ masterpiece by the end that San had to hold Yeosang back from eating.

From there, they made simple sugar cookies, butter sugar cookies, Russian Tea cakes, and some peppermint chocolate crackle cookies that Yeosang said Seonghwa loved. They worked well together, cracking jokes, listening to old jazz Christmas music, and taking turns sneaking cookie dough behind each other’s backs.

“Look. It’s you.” Yeosang said, holding up one of the sugar cookies that he had been piping decorations on to. It was supposed to be a Christmas tree, but Yeosang had broken off the bottom half of it and decorated the top to look like a mountain, complete with shadows, pine trees, and small colorful dots that San guessed were supposed to be flowers. “Get it? San? Mountain?”

San looked between Yeosang and the cookie. The entire gesture was incredibly dorky, but so totally Yeosang that San couldn’t help but be endeared.

San grabbed the cookie gently and smiled at Yeosang, “I love it. Keep it safe for me, okay?”

Yeosang grabbed it back and set it aside. He shot San a mischievous smile and held up another cookie. This one had been a mini gingerbread man that Yeosang had artfully decorated to, no doubt, be Wooyoung. The face had straight eyes, obviously supposed to be Wooyoung’s ‘sexy eyes’, and a small mole beneath one, and a bright smile that took up nearly half the space. Yeosang had gone all out on the clothes as well, making the cookie wear a low buttoned shirt and fancy trousers.

San snorted a disbelieving laugh, “Are those his ‘Sensual Dance Shoes’?”

“Of course. What kind of best friend would I be if I forgot his iconic shoes.”

San laughed outright, hunching over slightly. Yeosang joined his laughter a second later, a shy hand coming up to cover his mouth. It took them a few minutes to calm down, everytime San’s eyes caught Yeosang’s they dissolved into laughter all over again.

“Okay okay, let’s finish decorating these so that we can watch a movie.” San said, pushing at Yeosang’s shoulder to get him back to work with the piping.

In the end, the counters were almost overflowing with the amount of cookies they had made. The pair made quick work of cleaning their mess, putting away the supplies and hand washing all the dishes, before settling together in the living room, Yeosang going through the old DVDs to find a Christmas movie while San scrolled mindlessly through his phone.

“The Family Stone?” Yeosang called out.

“Not unless you want to see me cry.” San said easily. That movie traumatized him the first time he watched it.

“Love Actually!”

“Do you want Mrs. Jung to walk in while one of those porno scenes is on?” San countered. He loved that movie, but it was probably not the most family friendly choice.

“Fair point. Charlie Brown Christmas?”

San sat up, “Yeah! I love that movie. It’s a family tradition for us to watch it together on Christmas Eve.”

“You don’t mind watching it a week early?” Yeosang asked, even as he went to put it in the DVD player and start up the TV.

“Nope, just happy to watch it with good company.” San said, holding the blanket up for Yeosang to slide under.

Yeosang’s cheeks heated up and he slapped at San’s arm, “You’re too much of a charmer, tone it down, will you?”

The movie began before San could bite back a retort, so he just settled into the couch cushions again, pushing more of the plush, down blanket over Yeosang’s lap.

The sun had set about an hour ago, winter making the days short and having it get dark in the late afternoon. San had made a small fire in the fireplace and a gentle snow storm had come in, falling quietly beyond the window as the Christmas lights softly lit the front yard. The familiar soundtrack of the movie soothed San even more, and he felt himself grow sleepy, content with the warm atmosphere.

Both he and Yeosang were half asleep when the Jung’s came home, an old rerun of Cheers playing muted on the TV. Even their entrance barely managed to rouse the two, the family kept their voices low as they moved through the house.

Wooyoung came over, took a picture of them that San pouted at, before kneeling in front of them. “Hey, you two, time for dinner.”

Wooyoung’s voice was soft, affectionate in a way that it rarely was. Beside him, Yeosang stirred, stretching an arm out and nearly whacking San in the face. Wooyoung snorted and caught Yeosang’s flailing limb, gently placing it in his lap before standing up again. “C’mon my sleepyheads, mom wants to thank you guys for the cookies. She was in awe when she walked into the kitchen. I think she didn’t think you’d be able to make more than one batch before getting distracted.”

“Reasonable concern.” San said, slowly pushing himself from the cushions and running a hand through his hair. “But we managed, not easily because Yeosang-”

“Yah,” Yeosang grumbled, “I was a great chef today.”

“You were great.” San agreed, turning to the boy and holding a hand to help him from the couch. “But don’t deny that you slowed us down significantly.”

“Only because I’m a perfectionist at heart.” Yeosang sniffed.

San rolled his eyes, “More like you need things repeated to you. Many times.”

“That’s neither here nor there.”

“Dinner’s getting cold you idiots.” Wooyoung whined, though amusement was clear in his eyes as he herded them into the kitchen. “Continue your bickering later.”

“We’ll continue this later.” Yeosang said with a firm nod before being taken into a headlock by Wooyoung’s older brother with a small yelp.

Wooyoung knocked their shoulders together, “He’s great, right?”

“He is.” San said, smiling at Wooyoung when he started doing a small victory dance. “Do you think he likes me?”

“San,” Wooyoung grasped both of San’s shoulders. “In all my years of knowing Yeosang which, as I remind you often, is quite a few years, I have never seen him warm up to someone in less than a week. Hell, it usually takes upwards of a month for him to be comfortable enough to spend more than an hour at a time alone with someone new. He likes you, I promise.”

San felt his heart swoop slightly at the reassurance. He wasn’t quite sure why Yeosang’s friendship meant so much to him, but he was glad to have Wooyoung’s perspective either way.

Wooyoung looked at San with a contemplative gaze, eyebrows just slightly furrowed, looking almost troubled. 

San smoothed his thumb over the area. “What’s wrong?”

Wooyoung stared at him a moment later, suddenly conflicted. He opened his mouth once, twice, before shaking his head and giving San a smile, “Don’t worry. It’s fine.”

“What’s fine?”

Wooyoung brushed him off again, opting to take his hand and pull him into the kitchen where the family and Yeosang were crammed around the table, loud laughter bouncing around the walls. Wooyoung pulled San to the small space next to Yeosang, taking his other side and keeping their hands entwined as he easily joined the conversation as though nothing was wrong. San stared at his side profile for a few beats before following his lead and talking pleasantly with the family.

Still, the strange behavior tickled at the back of San’s mind for the rest of the night.

Christmas was only 4 days away the first time that Wooyoung’s friends went out to do something with just them. Of course San was welcome along, squished into the backseat next to Wooyoung who complained nearly the entire drive about being in the far back and his ‘cramped legs’.

“There’s barely any legs there to cramp.” Jongho had said.

“You fucker -”

The drive was only about 30 minutes. But it was 30 minutes straight of blasted Christmas pop music, the car smelling of coffee, and Seonghwa’s complaints for them to at least try to hit the notes correctly.

No one clued San into what they were doing, just cryptically telling him that it was a ‘tradition’ and ‘lots of fun’, with an added ‘for the most part’ by a sheepish Hongjoong. The drive was pretty, but it was apparent that they were driving into the wilderness, away from cities and only occasionally passing small towns and gas stations.

Seonghwa had brought coffee for everyone, and they split a box of pastries between them. The sun was weak, even as they pulled into the parking lot around midday.

“Sledding?” San asked, leaning over Wooyoung to look out of the window. “Sledding down that ?”

The hill was daunting, even from the parking lot. There were only 3 other families in the parking lot, bundled in thick winter clothes and trudging towards the stupidly tall hill.

“We’re gonna break our necks.” San breathed as the rest of the friends began clambering out of the car.

“It’s fun .” Wooyoung said, pulling San out behind him.

“It’s a deathtrap.” San bit back, reluctantly following Wooyoung as he tugged at his wrist insistently.

“Just watch,” Wooyoung rubbed his thumb over the inside of San’s wrist, “It’s not nearly as bad as it looks.”

They stood together watching as the first family reached the top of the hill. San tensed slightly as one of the children put his sled down and excitedly pushed off the top, not hesitating for even a second.

He shot down, faster than any sled San had ever been on, but laughing all the while. He slid to a stop at the bottom of the hill, hopped off the sled, and was back up and running to the top again.

Wooyoung gave him a reassuring look, “It’s fun. We do it every year and the worst accident we ever had was Hongjoong accidentally running into a kid at the bottom.”

“He should’ve been watching better.” Hongjoong grumbled as he passed, an old wooden sled already in his hands. “Hurry up. San, there’s an extra beanie and gloves for you in the car, Seonghwa guessed that you would forget yours.”

San’s heart warmed at the gesture and he thanked him quickly, pulling on the gloves and hat before Jongho thrust a bright purple, glittery round sled into his hands.

“Yeosang said purple is your favorite color.” Jongho said casually, moving away before San could thank him.

And god , San had never been so appreciative of a group of people before, besides maybe his university friends. Seonghwa took care of him so easily, as though San had always been his to care for. Jongho was gruff in his affection, but his shy smiles and small gestures had won San’s heart. Hongjoong’s easy guidance, Yeosang’s quiet attentiveness.

It was like San had known them for years.

“San goes first since it’s his first time!” Jongho called out, getting a round of happy cheers from the others after he said so.

Unfortunately, that meant they were just as comfortable teasing him.

“Come on,” Yeosang said, gently taking San’s free hand and leading him to the edge of the snowy meadow they needed to cross to get to the hill. “Better to get it over with and appease them than fight against it. Trust me, I know from experience.”

San chuckled and nodded, moving his hand slightly to take Yeosang’s in a firmer grasp, following in his footsteps as they forged a path towards the hill.

“How long have you guys been doing this for?” San asked, steadying Yeosang by the waist as he teetered slightly. The snow was almost up to their knees, making both of them unstable on their feet.

“Since we were kids.” Yeosang said, taking another hesitant step. “I think we first came when we were 4? Or maybe 5? It was before the Parks had moved to town, so definitely before we were 8.”

“That’s-” San stopped to adjust his balance, Yeosang paused to wait for him, “That’s a long ass time.”

“Yeah. And my jackass of a best friend sent me videos from the last 2 Christmases when I couldn’t be here and the snowfall was perfect. I was so jealous.” Yeosang grumbled.

“Sounds like him.”

“Don’t see how you manage to put up with him as a boyfriend, I barely handle him as a best friend.”

“It takes a gentle touch. And noise reduction headphones.”

Yeosang started laughing so hard he tipped over, falling into the fluffy snow and dragging San down with him.

“Yah!” San cried, snow getting all over him as he partially crushed Yeosang beneath him. “ Yah! ”

Yeosang’s giggling was muffled now as he tried to push San off of him. San couldn’t quite get his feet beneath him, and the only leverage his hands had was Yeosang, which would only push Yeosang deeper into the snow.

Sturdy hands gripped San beneath his armpits and hefted him up, Jongho’s amused face greeted him. Wooyoung and Hongjoong were hunched over in the background, their laughter bouncing off the undisturbed snow. Seonghwa was beside Jongho, helping Yeosang out of the snow and brushing him off, adding a few extra pats to his butt as he did so.

“You dumbass.” Wooyoung said affectionately, trudging through the snow to give San a wet kiss to his cheek. “That was amazing.”

“I’m the dumbass?” San asked incredulously. “Yeosang was the one who fell first!”

“But Yeosang can do no wrong.” Wooyoung said seriously. “The gods have declared it.”

“I hate you.” San huffed.

Wooyoung laughed and pressed another kiss to his cheek before moving to Yeosang and giving him the same treatment. Jongho brushed some of the snow off of San with a small smile, winking at San before latching himself to Yeosang’s side.

“C’mon hyung, looks like you still can’t be trusted on your own.”

Yeosang let out an offended whine but let Jongho lead him across the clearing anyways.

Wooyoung looped his arm through San’s in a similar fashion. “Yeosangie’s a walking hazard, but so are you. I’ll keep you safe.”

San laughed and pushed against Wooyoung just a bit. Wooyoung beamed at him.

The entire endeavor, getting across the snowy meadow and climbing the hill, took a gruelling twenty minutes, and by the time they were standing at the top, San was ready to take another tumble into the snow. The other families had made deep tracks in the snow, ready to be sled down whenever San finally grasped the courage that was quickly leaving his system.

“I can’t do this.” San said firmly.

Wooyoung scoffed, “Yes you can. Trust us, it’s not nearly as steep or scary as it seems from up here.”

Jongho gave his back a few firm pats, “Don’t be a wimp, it’s fun, I promise.”

“Fun until you plow over a little kid.” Yeosang quipped. Hongjoong wacked the back of his head for the comment.

Seonghwa put the old fashioned sled at the top of one of the trails and smiled reassuringly at San, “How about this, you and Yeosang ride the two person sled together. Yeosang can steer since he’s done it before, but he hasn’t been here for the last 2 years, so he deserves the same treatment as you.”

Yeosang opened his mouth to protest, but Wooyoung was quicker, “Seconded!”

“Third-ed, or however the fuck you say it.” Hongjoong agreed, pushing Yeosang towards the sled. “Go on, Sang, it’s your first time back in 2 years, make the most of it.”

Yeosang huffed once more but relented, settling at the front of the sled and looking back at San expectantly.

“He’s the worst at steering of all of us.” Wooyoung whispered teasingly before shoving San towards the sled.

San sent him a glare, “Worst boyfriend ever.”

Wooyoung gave him a cheeky wink.

San sighed and settled behind Yeosang, shifting a bit as the cold wood permeated through his pants.

“Comfortable?” Yeosang asked, glancing back to catch San’s eyes.

San nodded, then paused, “Where should I put my feet?”

“Oh.” Yeosang stiffened slightly, “Right, that’s an issue. Okay, come closer to me, you have long legs, you can probably reach the bar in the front, I’ll put my feet on top of yours if you’re okay with it.”

“Yeah sure, whatever works.” San said. He hadn’t gone sledding in years, he figured Yeosang would know better. He schooched forward on the sled until he was basically plastered to Yeosang’s back. His boots could comfortably rest on the foot bar at the front, and Yeosang carefully arranged his own feet so his heels were on the bar and his toes overlapped with San’s.

“Okay. Okay, that should work, right?” Yeosang murmured, most likely to himself, but San heard and laughed anyway.

“Go already you fucking cowards.” Wooyoung complained behind them.

San flipped him off over his shoulder before resting his hands comfortably on Yeosang’s waist, gripping it just slightly, but not enough to hurt him, hopefully. Yeosang took his feet off the bar and pushed them to the edge of the hill. He hesitated a second.

“You okay?” San leaned forward slightly to ask.

Yeosang startled, but nodded. “Yeah just… if we run into a tree or a child, it’s not entirely my fault.”

“Wha-”

Yeosang pushed them off the edge, and suddenly they were racing down the hill.

San yelped and put his arms all the way around Yeosang, “Yeosang!”

Yeosang laughed, leaning back slightly as they picked up speed.

Everything was a blur of white around them. The frosty air whipped at San’s face relentlessly, small bits of snow lashing his cheeks and stinging his eyes. And yet, San couldn’t help the laugh he let out as they sped towards the snowy clearing, elation coursing through him.

In front of him, Yeosang was a warm, sturdy presence. His back was slightly tense, both from holding the reins of the sled, and from leaning back against San, no doubt trying not to put all his weight on the younger. His laughter harmonized with San’s, sounding slightly breathless.

As they reached the bottom of the hill, they hit a small bump, sending the sled careening off course and the two let out, very dignified, shrieks, as they hurtled towards fresh snow, the sled not stabilizing and eventually tipping over altogether. They went tumbling, rolling a few times before stopping beside each other.

They shared a glance.

Their friends shouted from the top of the hill, distant but obviously filled with happiness.

Yeosang grinned at San, like they shared a secret. A familiar smile.

San grinned back.

They returned early in the evening, tired, but content. Mrs. Jung had prepared a big dinner for all of the friends, and they smushed themselves around the small kitchen table, laughing and eating until both their stomach’s and hearts were full.

San had noticed Wooyoung being slightly quiet, just a bit withdrawn. He was still his loud, boisterous self, but he didn’t start the conversations, had herded San into a chair between Hongjoong and Yeosang, his laugh was just slightly forced. If the others noticed, they didn’t say anything, but San caught Yeosang giving his best friend a worried glance. San resolved himself to corner Wooyoung later that night. Wooyoung could be cagey when jumped suddenly, but if given the option to not talk about his problems at all, he would always choose to push his issues aside.

They watched a movie, The Holiday, and stayed up drinking hot chocolate and talking until the early morning, when Seonghwa finally declared it time to leave as a fresh wave of snowfall began.

San and Wooyoung said goodbye to them at the door, almost convincing Yeosang to spend the night until Seonghwa won him over with promises of pumpkin bread and painting each other’s nails.

San raised his eyebrows at Wooyoung as the door closed behind them, “Yeosang paints his nails?”

“We all do from time to time. Hongjoong always kept his nails painted in high school and eventually it just rubbed off on us. Yeosang sometimes gets finicky about it though, says he doesn’t like the feeling of the polish on his nails, but Seonghwa always managed to make thin and neat nails for him, so he always lets Seonghwa do them for him.” Wooyoung said with a casual shrug, moving around the house with ease to turn off the lights and blow out the candles.

San trailed behind him, feeling a bit useless as he thought through the information in his head. He wondered how a group of friends could get so close to just know stuff like that, remember it for years afterwards as though it were the most essential piece of information they had ever been given. The ease of familiarity was not foreign to San, but the extent to which Wooyoung’s friends felt it was much deeper than San himself ever had. And though San wasn’t quite jealous of their connection, it did dig at San a little. At the small, insecure, lonely part of him that wondered about his own role in his friends’ lives. Where he fit in, how they saw him, what use he provided to them. It strained at San a little more incessantly as he followed Wooyoung around, an ache in him that he had long ignored.

It’s not that he was lonely, by any means, but he always wondered whether he was someone’s first choice. It might be unfair, but he worried about it. He kept in contact with his friends from high school, but they weren’t longtime childhood friends that knew him like the back of his hands. And he had Yeonjun, Changbin, Haknyeon, countless dance team friends, some friends from his art club. He had Mingi and Yunho, but they had each other. He had Wooyoung, but Wooyoung had Yeosang, and San would never want to come between the pair. Their relationship was too special. Everyone he had, had someone else.

San sighed and Wooyoung shot him a look.

“Hey big brain, why do you look so sad? Didn’t you have fun today?” Wooyoung asked, looking both concerned and anxious.

“I had a lot of fun, just thinking about something.” San replied, a bit vaguely, but this was the last thing he wanted to burden Wooyoung with. Wooyoung would freak, thinking he had been ignoring or forgetting San somehow and vastly overcompensate by spending every second with San instead.

And it really wasn’t such a serious issue. San was just tired, and being around a new group of people was wearing his social battery down more than he cared to admit, both to himself and to Wooyoung.

Wooyoung’s shoulders dropped, “Yeah. I get that.”

And he sounded defeated, or just downright sad.

They got to Wooyoung’s room and San shut the door gently behind them. “Woo, are you okay?”

“Yeah, just thinking. Don’t worry.” Wooyoung waved him off quickly, making himself busy with getting ready for bed.

“Talk to me, okay?” San insists, “Even if you’re super vague with whatever you’re thinking about, I’ll listen. And it might make you feel better.”

Wooyoung looked at him over his shoulder, eyes uncharacteristically sad, almost watery.

“I’m sorry.”

San cocked his head, “For what?”

“For this. Making you pretend like this when you - it’s just so clear and I- Fuck and you would’ve-”

“Woo you’re making zero sense right now.” San said, rushing to his friend’s side as Wooyoung’s voice cracked.

Wooyoung doesn’t really cry. Not easily, at least, and especially not in front of others. San had only witnessed him crying a few times, and each broke San’s heart.

“I know and I’m sorry I just - well - I don’t think I could explain this to you, even if I wanted to. It just…  you wouldn’t…  it wouldn’t make sense. Not yet? I guess?”

San wrapped Wooyoung in a sturdy hug and walked them backwards to the bed, carefully tugging Wooyoung down so they were laying beside each other.

“Alright, but you’ll come to me when you need, yeah?”

“Yeah. I really am sorry, San, about making you do this. It wasn’t fair of me to make you pretend like this.”

San huffed out a short breath, “Hey, I agreed, remember? You gave me an out, and I still chose to do this ridiculous idea with you. I don’t mind. There are worse things in the world than pretending to be your boyfriend.”

Wooyoung’s gaze flickered between San’s eyes, gouging how serious he was. San held his gaze steady until Wooyoung cracked and smiled, small, but a smile nonetheless.

“Yeah I just - yeah. This will be hard when you… figure out what I think I’ve figured out.” Wooyoung said, yet again being entirely too cryptic for San to really keep up with.

San knocked their foreheads together, “Who’s the big brain now, huh? Leave the thinking to me.”

“Not unless I want to see the world burn.” Wooyoung said with a playful scoff. He sobered slightly, “You’ll tell me, yeah? When this… all of this, becomes too much? When you need an out?”

“It’ll never be too much.”

“You don’t know that.”

San stared into Wooyoung’s intense gaze. There was something he wasn’t telling him. “What are you so sure of? Why do you think I’ll want to leave? This will only be a few more weeks until we’re back at school and then you can tell your mom we broke up, like we agreed on.”

“Because…” Wooyoung chewed his lip. “Because I see something that you don’t and I don’t want you to despise me when you realize it too.”

“Woo-”

“Okay okay, enough of this, I say we go to bed. It’s late and my mom wants us up early to help make the paper snowflakes and get presents for White Elephant.”

And as much as San’s heart ached, he let the subject drop. Wooyoung wasn’t one to be pushed when he so obviously shut a conversation down.

San fell asleep troubled that night.

The next day Wooyoung was back to his perky self, acting as though the night before had never happened. San let him, knowing that Wooyoung would come to San when he was ready and had properly sorted out his thoughts.

They spent the morning with Wooyoung’s older brother, cutting out paper snowflakes that would hang from the ceiling for the Christmas Eve party. His brother, as always, was fun to be around. He teased just as much as Wooyoung did, but was easy to talk to and always made San feel welcome.

They finished in the early afternoon, hands cramping but content with their work. Wooyoung made them lunch while San cleaned up the scraps of paper. Once they had eaten, Wooyoung’s mom had returned home from a half day at work, ready to go and get small, gag presents for their White Elephant party game. San vaguely knew the rules of the game, but Wooyoung explained them extensively for him anyways as they drove to the small downtown area.

Once there, Yeosang and his mom met them. It was the first time San had met Mrs. Kang, a short but beautiful woman with the same intelligent yet innocent eyes that Yeosang had. She shook San’s hand, then pulled him into a hug.

“Nice to meet you, San. Yeosang has spoken highly of you.”

“Mom!” Yeosang’s cheeks were pink as San laughed and pulled away from her.

“I’ve spoken just as highly of Yeosang, I’m sure.” San said, making Yeosang groan and Wooyoung chuckle.

They took their time shopping, the two moms doing most of the work, as the three friends trailed behind them, talking nicely and enjoying the bright winter day. While wandering aimlessly through a quaint stationary and art supplies store, Wooyoung got distracted talking to the cashier, leaving Yeosang and San to test the pens together.

“Your handwriting is horrid.” San laughed as Yeosang tried a glittery silver gel pen on a pad of paper.

Yeosang shot him a glare. He bent over the paper and scribbled something down, before presenting it proudly to San.

“ ‘And your hair smells horrid’ “ San read aloud, another laugh passing his lips.

Yeosang shrugged nonchalantly, but the tug of his lips gave him away, “I only tell the truth. I’m the truth bomber.”

“Horrible nickname.”

“Tell that to your boyfriend, he was the one who came up with it.”

San almost opened his mouth and corrected Yeosang. Almost said that Wooyoung wasn’t his boyfriend. It was the first time that urge had bubbled up in him, and he didn’t dwell on why having Yeosang think he and Wooyoung were dating was bugging him so much.

Instead, San settled for, “If I tell him that, I have to put up with his whining for days on end. No way would I willingly put myself in that position.”

Yeosang hummed absently, already testing a new pen, “I suppose that’s true. But if you don’t have the balls to confront him, don’t complain about it in the first place.”

San was ready to bite back another retort, when Yeosang lifted the paper again. He had drawn a small character in the dark red color he was testing out. Beside the character was a small speech bubble with the words ‘Happy Holidays’ written in Yeosang’s, kind of messy, scrawl.

San’s eyebrows shot up as he took the paper, looking over the character with interest. He glanced back at Yeosang, “Did you make him?”

“It’s Hehetmon.” Yeosang said in lieu of responding. “And their pronouns are they/them.”

“Oh! Sorry.” San looked back at the drawing. “They’re adorable.”

Yeosang had drawn it quickly, but the lines were precise, like he had practice. 

“Thanks.” Yeosang ducked his head bashfully, putting the paper back on the shelf and grabbing another pen to test. “I made them in high school. I used to leave little notes for Wooyoung when he was having bad days with them drawn on it. I don’t know why, but it always made him feel better.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Yeosang-ah.” San said, heart soaring at the small, yet adorable, tidbit of information. “I know my day would instantly be made better if someone gave me one.”

Yeosang looked up at him and shyly handed him a new note that he had just doodled. Hehetmon was still in the center, holding what looked like a whisk in one hand and a little speech bubble with the words, ‘Your hair doesn’t stink! Smells like apples!’, inscribed in it.

San snorted and grabbed the paper, sending Yeosang an appreciative look as he peered closer at the doodle.

“I love it. Thank you.” San said seriously, taking Yeosang into a brief hug. Yeosang’s face naturally found the crook of San’s neck, and he brushed his nose delicately across the soft expanse of skin there. Yeosang fit so nicely into his side, their few centimeters of height difference more noticeable than ever. “I’m gonna frame it.”

Yeosang yanked himself away with an embarrassed whine, “ Why would you do that? I will take away your Hehetmon privileges if you dare. Horrible. Disgusting .”

“A nice bright frame, maybe neon orange.”

Yeosang let out an offended noise.

“With flames going up the side.”

Yeosang pushed San away and down the aisle, “I can’t stand you. You’re the actual worst.”

“Worse than Wooyoung?” San asked over his shoulder as Yeosang continued to push his back.

“ Worse .”

San heaved a dramatic sigh and leaned backwards, his weight surprising Yeosang and they almost went fully tumbling to the ground had San not pulled up last second. He grasped Yeosang’s wrist before he could fully lose his balance and gave him a quick wink before tugging him back down the aisle towards the front of the shop.

The moms were still browsing through some of the supplies by the small work tables and Wooyoung was talking passionately about something with the cashier, who looked slightly overwhelmed by the pure, unfiltered presence that was Wooyoung.

San pulled Yeosang towards the front of the store where the specialty Christmas decorations were. Yeosang huffed but let himself be tugged, following San obediently until they were situated in front of a low table full of gag gifts and knick knacks.

“Happy?” Yeosang asked, but his sarcasm wasn’t nearly as biting as it usually was, instead laced with happiness.

“Almost.” San promised. He squatted in front of the table, pulling Yeosang down with him, who squeaked but relented. Before Yeosang could get a good look at what was laid out around the table, San had grabbed the desired item. He worked quickly, nabbing Yeosang’s coffee colored beanie and sticking his new hat on his head.

Yeosang let out another squeak as San pushed the hat down, covering his eyes in a move reminiscent of the day they baked cookies together.

Yeosang pushed it back up and glared at San halfheartedly, “Did you just put a fucking Santa hat on my head?”

“Not just any Santa hat,” San said, putting the matching hat on his own head. His was embroidered with the word ‘Nice’. Yeosang’s had ‘Naughty’. “Our matching Santa hats!”

Yeosang seemed to realize what San had done and punched his arm lightly with a laugh, “You are seriously a dumbass. Now switch with me, we both know I’m the nice one here.”

San reeled backwards as Yeosang’s hand shot out to grab the hat. Yeosang growled and tried again, this time San smacked his hand away gently.

Yeosang looked at him incredulously. “You’re a child. Wooyoung! ”

“You’re tattling on me?” San scowled at Yeosang, “Wooyoung!”

Wooyoung came around the side of the table with a confused face, “What in the - seriously you two?”

“San’s fault.” Yeosang said.

“I know.” Wooyoung agreed without hesitating. He offered both of them his hands and helped them stand up. “Fuck you two look adorable, stand together so I can get a picture.”

“You sound like a mom.” Yeosang grumbled but let San sling an arm around his shoulder and pull him against his side.

“And I feel like a mom having to deal with you two.” Wooyoung snapped back with no bite. “Smile. Say ‘Naughty boys’!”

“Naughty boys!” San said, smiling for the camera.

“I’m not fucking saying that.” Yeosang said, but he smiled nonetheless.

Wooyoung grinned at them, putting his phone down and beckoning them towards the cashier. “C’mon our parents are about to check out and you two need those hats for the Christmas party. God, you guys will be adorable.”

Wooyoung was a bit distant after the stationary store. Though he plastered a bright smile on his face, his eyes held deep concern and worry and San yearned to know what was bothering him. Though he didn’t have romantic feelings for him, San undeniably cared for him, hated to see him hurt and so unsure.

Yeosang also seemed to know something was up. He took Wooyoung’s gloved hand in his own and walked next to him peacefully in the late afternoon sun. Yeosang’s simple presence alone visibly relaxed Wooyoung, who leaned slightly into his best friend.

San watched them from the side, content to let the pair have their moment together, feeling almost grateful to even be able to see them like this, so comfortable and themselves .

San waited for the ugly jealousy, the familiar loneliness to creep into his mind, corrupt his thoughts in the way he had become used to. But it didn’t come. Something as beautiful as their innocent and unwavering friendship could never be looked on negatively. Sure, San could wish for a closeness like theirs, but the small bite of jealousy that usually came stayed quiet.

Wooyoung and Yeosang’s friendship deserved nothing but absolute adoration.

Wooyoung eventually returned to San’s side as they returned to the cars with a pleased smile.

San looped their arms together, “Feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung didn’t look at San, but his serene smile was enough for San to believe him. “I’ve really missed him. I mean, I know I’ve missed him, but having him back is just reminding me why I rely on him so much in the first place.”

“I’m glad you guys have each other.” San said. “And I’m so happy for you, Young-ah, for having him back, at least for now. I know how much the separation has weighed on you.”

“I am too.” Wooyoung said, his small smile turning slightly brighter, “And that you two got to meet each other. I knew you’d get along!”

San giggled and gently nudged their shoulders together, “Yeah yeah. Know it all. C’mon, your mom promised hot chocolate from Good Lil’ Cafe before we headed home.”

Wooyoung groaned, “You’re as much of a chocolate feign as Yeosang is!”

“My name better not leave your mouth unless accompanied with honey-rich compliments.” Yeosang called from where he was sandwiched between the moms several paces in front of them.

“You’re a menace and I love you for it!” Wooyoung called back, untangling from San and launching himself at Yeosang’s back.

“I hate you!”

There was a slight tension between San and Wooyoung the following day. Nothing noticeable to anyone else, but noticeable to the pair, and a bit stifling.

They were both holding something back from the other, but San had a sneaking feeling neither of them properly knew how to articulate their feelings and what was bothering them. To make matters more miserable, a snow storm had come in overnight, making any day trips or errands impossible. Nothing to distract them. And Wooyoung never liked being stuck in one place for too long.

Relief came around midday, in the form of two tightly bundled guests. Hongjoong and Yeosang were ushered in quickly and stripped of their snow covered layers. Despite their best attempts to fight off the cold, both were shivering as Wooyoung and San moved them close to the fire in the living room.

“What - Are you two crazy ? In this weather? What were you thinking?” Wooyoung fretted, pushing steaming mugs of white tea into their hands. When Yeosang hesitated to take a drink, Wooyoung pushed gently at the bottom of the mug, guiding it to Yeosang’s lips.

Yeosang gave him an affronted look, but took a few sips anyways, his body noticeably relaxing as the warm liquid coursed through him.

“You’re both insane. Do you want to get sick? Do you want to have to stay in bed and not leave your house? Not see me ?” Wooyoung clicked his tongue, as though the very thought was absolutely maddening. He draped a warm blanket around Yeosang’s shoulders delicately and pressed a kiss to his temple.

Hongjoong scowled, “Your blatant favoritism is not appreciated.”

“Neither is your sass.” Wooyoung winked at Hongjoong, but grabbed another blanket and gave him the same treatment.

“Why did you guys come over?” San couldn’t help but ask. “I mean, clearly you didn’t drive, but walking here in the snow? I’m not sure it was worth it.”

“Nonsense.” Hongjoong waved San off, pausing to take another sip of his tea before continuing, “I was dead bored at home, and so was Yeosang. So we thought, why not?”

“Idiots.” Wooyoung grumbled.

Yeosang and Hongjoong warmed up quickly with how bundled up and coddled they were. They sat close together on the hearth. Wooyoung and San sat pressed together on the couch, keeping conversation and waiting for the pair to warm up. Because of the storm raging outside, Mrs. Jung had requested that they keep the lights to a minimum, so the only light illuminating the room was from the Christmas tree, the fire, and the scattering of lightly scented candles.

Eventually, Hongjoong and Yeosang peeled themselves away from the comforting warmth and trekked the harrowing journey to take the remaining spots on the couch, squishing together just slightly so everyone could fit.

Unprompted, Wooyoung queued up a movie, but no one ended up paying attention.

As the storm raged outside, the friends got closer together, having a hushed yet enthusiastic conversation. By the time the credits were rolling, they had migrated into a confusing pillow/blanket hybrid on the floor and were laughing at a story Hongjoong had artfully retold. Despite Wooyoung’s family all being home for the day, they had left the living room alone, letting the friends have their time together.

It was nearing 4 in the afternoon when Wooyoung coerced Hongjoong into helping him make a quick vegetable stew. Hongjoong only went willingly when Wooyoung, literally, twisted his ear.

“I’m your hyung you brat!”

San and Yeosang shared a look and collapsed into giggles, moving closer together in the island of pillows.

“Excited for Christmas?” San asked, just to fill the silence.

Yeosang hummed, turning his head to look at San. “I love Christmas. I love the lights, the food, the warmth, the… the togetherness? Is that a word?”

“You’re asking the wrong person.”

Yeosang giggled and carried on, “I love Christmas. It’s been hard missing the last two because of school.”

“I’m sure.” San murmured. Yeosang’s hair was splayed across the pillow in disarray. The Christmas lights highlighted his face well, the crackling fire made his eyes luminous. San saw the regret and guilt in them. He hated it. “Are you okay, Yeosang? I mean, in general, not just today. I - Sorry if that was too personal.”

Yeosang smiled gently, “It’s okay, San-ah. I am okay, I promise. I mean, it is hard, there’s no use denying it. I feel so… so… lonely? But not exactly lonely, more like isolated. I feel isolated over there, away from everyone I love and…”

He trailed off thoughtfully, eyes suddenly far away. San stayed quiet, knowing that sometimes words were just hard. He reached out hesitantly and softly thread a hand through Yeosang’s hair, a motion he had seen Wooyoung do several times. As with Wooyoung, Yeosang relaxed into the warm touch and sighed.

“I have friends there.” He said finally. “And I love my program, I don’t regret going to Japan. But sometimes I just feel so different from everyone. It might be stupid, but there are so many small things about Korea that I miss that I just… can’t have in Japan. And the more things I notice, the more I feel so different and isolated from everyone, even my friends. Because my friends just don’t understand, they don’t have to leave their home for years at a time, not able to see their family for years at a time. I guess I am lonely.”

Yeosang finished, not exactly regretfully, but almost thoughtfully. As though it was the first time any of this had occurred to him.

He twisted to meet San’s eyes straight on, accidentally knocking San’s hand from his hair.

“I’m not sure when I convinced myself that my loneliness was independence. When I decided that I wasn’t all alone, but merely self sufficient. But I think I ruined myself in the process. And there’s a part of me I can’t get back because of it. I’m not sure what would help.”

San looked at Yeosang thoughtfully. It was the longest he had heard Yeosang talk, and he was sure this was the first time Yeosang had talked any of this out with someone. San pushed aside the bubbling fondness and reached out to take Yeosang into his arms.

“I can’t offer advice, but I can say you’re very strong, Yeosang. And very brave.” San whispered. “And being brave and strong for too long can be tiring. You don’t need to keep telling people you’re happy or content if you’re not. It’s okay to let it out.”

Yeosang let out another small sigh and moved impossibly closer to San, “I don’t think I’m brave. Or strong. I think I’m just… me?”

“You are you Yeosang-ah. And Yeosang is strong, and kind, and brave, and oh so sweet like hot chocolate, and maybe a bit sarcastic at times, and confusingly innocent. You’re it all. And it’s okay sometimes, to let down your guard and let people help you. It’s okay, I promise.”

“Damn.” Yeosang murmured, “You’re really good at this San-ah. Woo is lucky to have you.”

Right. Wooyoung. His supposed boyfriend who was just in the other room, making them an early dinner, being lovely and totally ignorant of everything happening in the living room. But what was happening in the living room?

San looked down at Yeosang, whose head was curled into San’s neck, one hand pressed gently to his chest. His soft hair tickled San’s chin, his eyes were distant, but more settled than they had been. His birthmark was illuminated perfectly by the low light.

What was happening in the living room. San was falling in love with Wooyoung’s best friend.

A small scuffle at the doorway alerted San to Wooyoung’s presence, who met San’s eyes with a knowing gaze of his own.

And Wooyoung definitely knew.