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It’s been confirmed by the people in space. The president’s currently relaying their findings in today’s state address. They’re watching his composure break as he says the words.
“The world is ending.”
A sentence that was taken seriously years before, an event that everyone was forced to be ready for. Conspiracy theorists were saying it would happen on the 21st of December, 2012, but the world did not end then. Since then, humankind felt they had all the time in the world to spare.
But not anymore. “Earth will collide with an asteroid or the sun itself. But there are chances of a deadly solar surge as well.”
Seungmin can already see people in the diner crying and holding onto their valuables, ready to leave the place and their orders untouched. He glances at the notepad he’s been writing their orders on; a thought comes to mind.
What’s the point of all this then? “We aren’t sure which of the three will occur, and when it will exactly happen. But one thing we’re sure of is that…” The president takes in a deep breath, “It’s happening sooner than we think.”
The diner’s manager turns the television off with a remote. Seungmin thinks he should’ve done it earlier, because everyone’s too shocked to think straight now.
Before the sudden address, today felt too long and unnecessary. He wanted to get all of this over with, waiting for tomorrow to come again. Now that a resurfaced conspiracy theory is no longer what it was, it’s as if celestial bodies have decided to turn their hourglass again for the giggles.
Despite the dread making his face pale, Seungmin asks, “Will you still be taking your order?”
The woman slowly shakes her head, wearing an awkward smile. Afterwards, she turns away from him to look out the window, letting out the biggest sigh he’s heard from someone today. Seungmin takes her sigh as his cue to walk back to the counter, where the manager is.
He doesn’t appear to be handling the news too well, as expected. “Please come again.” The manager says, as many of the customers walk out of the diner, while not looking up from the cash register. Seungmin’s heart sinks at the implication of those words.
What’s the point of all this then?
“Go home.”
Seungmin blinks his eyes. “Sorry?”
There’s something bitter in the way the manager smiles at him. It’s as if his eyes are about to water. “Go home, and don’t come back from tomorrow onwards, okay?”
“But--,”
He puts up his hand, shushing Seungmin. “Don’t take it the wrong way. I’m not firing you. Just,” he pauses to grab some bills from the machine. The manager then places them in his hands. “It’s best you spend your last moments with the people you love.”
Seungmin checks the amount of money just given to him. It’s above his usual pay, too much actually. He wants to give some of the bills back, not seeing any importance in it anymore. “Don’t worry about closing the diner. I’ll handle it, so go home.”
Reluctantly, he takes off his working apron and cap, placing them beside the cash register. He folds the bills and puts them in his jean pocket. The manager has been nothing but kind to him since he came here to apply for a job, so he’s grateful that he worked here, despite the countless inconveniences.
“Will you be fine?” Seungmin can’t help but ask, refusing to look into the manager’s eyes. “I mean, do you have someone to come home to?”
“My son.”
“Oh.”
Seungmin takes in the dimness of the light bulbs, the stale white walls, and the few cerulean diner booths that aren’t sturdy anymore--everything that makes this place what it is, for the last time. He can’t help but think that there’ll be more goodbyes to come, and if this one already stings, what more for the rest?
There’s hesitation in his steps as he walks out of the diner, swallowing down the regret since he didn’t say bye. Seungmin just can’t bear saying it, even if they’ve only known each other as coworkers for the past few months.
But there’s no point in lingering on regrets anymore, so he continues walking to his household.
**
At the dining table, he is reminded yet again of why he chose to spend so much time outside, of why he preferred that over sharing a meal with his family.
“You should still review for the admission tests,” his dad tells him while his mouth is full. “I’m sure it will still push through. It’s not like the president already gave Earth an expiration date.”
Of course, of course. Whatever his dad told him to do ever since was an order, and Seungmin has been taught to just heed to it, even if he didn’t want to. Tonight however, he opts for shoving a spoonful of rice in his mouth.
He can’t believe he would go this far. The world is literally ending and rather than thinking of ways to calm their household down, and think of ways to spend time together more, he is told to keep reviewing. Great.
“You were supposed to say something.” His dad speaks clearly now, his voice a few pitches deeper. Seungmin still doesn’t look at him, taking a bite of his crispy drumstick. He focuses on biting and chewing the food, then swallowing it once they’re just bits in his mouth.
His mom then clears her throat, meaning she’s going to ask him about something. Seungmin musters up all his remaining patience to pay attention to her, and her smile that’s so sweet it looks fake. Maybe she’ll let him breathe this time.
“Did you and Lia get to talk to each other today?”
And he is proven wrong once again.
Seungmin can’t even focus on how the food tastes from how irritated he is. He can’t believe he hurried home, thinking they would have a change of heart the moment he opened the door, but they don’t. They still don’t.
Every damn day. He has always been waiting for the moment they’ll get to their senses and stop forcing their unfulfilled dreams on him, that they’ll stop making him their trophy child. All his life he’s been told to do what they wanted, but they never bothered to ask what he felt about every single order.
Seungmin never felt like a person here.
“You’re looking at your plate rather than answering both of us,” his dad remarks, sounding distasteful. “Where are your manners?”
He gets up from his chair, slamming his hands on the table. His mom begins to berate him, going on about how he’s like a child throwing a tantrum, but he shuts her voice out. Seungmin glares at his dad, his fists crumpling the table cloth.
There is so much to say, and so much to let out at them. He wants his dad to hear the loudest fuck you coming from him, but amidst all the rage, he knows he is only capable of breaking a few of his mom’s precious plates and cry.
So he holds it all in like he should, and gets his hands off the table. “I’m getting out of here.”
Before he can even be stopped, he stomps to his room, grabbing his duffel bag and zipping it open. He rummages through his cabinets, only getting a few of his shirts and then his windbreaker. He shoves them into his bag, and stops moving in front of his desk.
On top of his laptop is the small grey box. He removes its lid and pulls out a silver necklace with an oval shaped locket that has a picture of someone he holds dear. Seungmin stands in front of his mirror, putting it on.
“You’re not going anywhere!” His dad shouts from outside of his bedroom. Seungmin zips his duffel bag to a close and slings it on his shoulder, paying no mind to everything else that he’s leaving behind.
He has already endured more than enough. Seungmin unlocks the door and speed walks his way out of the house, not heeding to his parents’ indignant calls and curses. It’s a sweet release, the moment he walked past the door knowing what he’s doing, and that he’s not coming back.
Suddenly, the anger he’s been holding in vanishes, and he laughs like a maniac. Around him, there are people his age getting in their respective vehicles, with nothing but their valuables and the most sincere smiles they’ve probably worn in a long time.
Who would have thought the end of the world gave them an opportunity to be free? It’s amazing how they all had enough and freed themselves from whatever was holding them down. It’s so amazing that while walking, Seungmin sheds tears.
Everyone can sense a change in the air. It makes Seungmin’s stomach twist and his legs wobble while he’s still tearing up. He glances up to the night sky, and sees that the moon is no longer giving the illusion that it’s following him.
Fucking hell, even the stars seem closer than they should be. Like they’re threatening to get past Earth’s layers and crash into something here. Despite the discomfort and fear, Seungmin doesn’t give in and keeps walking.
He has a place in mind, and it’s far from his neighborhood. But the world is ending anyways, so he’s getting there no matter what.
I’m coming home.
**
There’s sweat forming on the center of his forehead, and the muscles in his legs are burning. Seungmin is finally in his district, and his ears are ringing. People older than him are crowding the street, holding up their cardboards and chanting prayers in perfect harmony.
“Do not fear the apocalypse! This is God’s will.”
One of the people at the front declares, and Seungmin sighs. He swerves to the sidewalk and speeds up his walking, his eyes going through every single house.
It’s been two months since he last visited him. Actually, it’s been a little over a month since they talked. They haven’t really seen each other in school, except for the time their carts bumped into each other at the supermarket. Seungmin clutches his duffel bag’s strap, frowning when he notices the houses by the end of the street looking the same.
So many houses are painted a sunny yellow, and all of them have gates. They look too identical; Seungmin can’t remember what set his house apart from the rest as his last visit was his first too.
Well, he could solve all of this with a call...but he’s been blocked so he has to figure it out himself. Seungmin wipes the sweat off his forehead with a bitter chuckle, the dread he felt earlier at the diner kicking in again.
I really fucked up last time, he thinks. The last time they talked wasn’t even a proper conversation. They were screaming at each other, expressing emotions they’ve been hiding for each other’s sake until they were both exhausted and sobbing. Until he told Seungmin that they needed time away from each other.
Thinking about it now, that sounded like a breakup. Seungmin didn’t like to think of it that way, but now that he’s here trying to look for him, it feels like a meteor crushed him to the ground.
Perhaps it was.
His frantic eyes happen to land on a person trying to hide himself with a perfectly sized white hoodie. The hoodie is something Seungmin has seen before.
That was his, before he gave it to him.
“Seungmin?”
Are we over now? He breathes through his mouth upon seeing how younger Hyunjin looks, now that his hair is short. Seungmin’s mind is in shambles, he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t even know if he can show up to him like this.
Words fail him, so he blurts out, “Hyunie?”
It hits him then that a month has the capability to be as painfully long as a year, and he really hasn’t seen Hyunjin in forever. All the effort Seungmin has put into suppressing his longing goes down the drain as soon as their eyes really meet.
For the first time in a while, he feels his own heart ache so terribly. Are we over now? Seungmin’s lips wobble, his eyes getting watery.
Hyunjin is still so ethereal, still has that damn look in his eyes that makes Seungmin feel known and loved. And now that he’s witnessing it again, he is so confused because that could mean anything now. He breathes out shakily, freezing in his spot.
An awkward laugh comes out of Hyunjin, but he still has his softened eyes on Seungmin. “I--How are you?”
Seungmin’s mind forms a supercut of the month he’s spent without Hyunjin, and he can literally see it flash with every time he blinks his eyes. I missed having you around. “Was doing terrible, honestly,” he answers, his voice surprisingly still stable.
He watches Hyunjin nod slowly, pursing his lips and temporarily looking at the ground. Seungmin hears him quietly mutter, “Me too.”
The light post they’re standing under flickers. Seungmin feels his cheeks getting wetter than earlier. He can’t tell what Hyunjin is feeling based on his facial expressions. So many things they can’t bear to say are lingering in the air.
Did I come all the way here for something else?
“I was supposed to go to your house today after the news, to talk it out.” Hyunjin starts, taking the hood off his head and ruffling his own hair. “And see where our relationship is going. But you just beat me to it, like you always do.”
“I’m so sorry,” Seungmin exhales, his voice shaky. The sight of Hyunjin reminds him of how miserable and lonely he got when he wasn’t working at the diner and reviewing for college admission tests.
“I was keeping us a secret from my parents, when you just wanted to be with me more, even if we had to keep hiding.” Deep down, he thinks that maybe there’s nothing to save, and that he walked here for nothing. “I’m sorry I kept asking you to understand me, I’m sorry that I kept frustrating you and--,”
He was planning to sob into his palms and mourn over what he already lost, but his duffel bag drops to the ground and he finds himself in Hyunjin’s arms. Seungmin stops blabbering, reluctant to wrap his arms around him as well.
“No, I’m the stupid one.” Hyunjin presses his lips against the crown of Seungmin’s head. “I shouldn’t have been so persistent, knowing your parents. I’m sorry I didn’t think much of what it was like for you.” He hugs him tighter, his cheek pressing against the side of Seungmin’s face.
They feel the ground shake, causing some cars to bump against each other. Others in the street lose their balance from the intensity, and the light posts are close to bending. Even with all this happening, they stay where they are, and Hyunjin still doesn’t let him go.
Seungmin finally wraps his arms around his middle and lets out the sobs he’s been holding in, resting his face on Hyunjin’s shoulder. “Did we break up that day?” He asks as soon as the aftershocks end. “Did you wanna break up with me?”
Are we over now?
“No, we didn’t. I didn’t want to.” He hears Hyunjin sniffle as Seungmin sobs louder than before, happy that they didn’t end the way he feared it would. “I was planning to sneak into your bedroom and take you away from there, y’know.”
“That would’ve been sweet, but I snapped.” Seungmin replies, smiling from ear to ear.
“Huh?”
“I left my house to go to you.”
His words sound like something love interests would say in books and movies. It’s those kinds of words that make Hyunjin’s grip on him tighter than it already is. Seungmin, who doesn’t usually express his feelings in words, goes on.
“The manager at the diner I worked at told me to go home and spend time with people I love. I wasn’t gonna do all this because I’m a coward but,” Seungmin presses his face against the side of Hyunjin’s neck. “I thought that if the world was gonna end, I wanted to at least be next to you when that happens.”
They both slightly pull away from the embrace to look at each other again. Hyunjin wasn’t the first one who cried and yet his eyelashes are wetter than his own. “You really have a way with words,” he comments, pouting his lower lip. “Well yeah, you’re you. It’s expected.”
“Stop saying it like that!” Seungmin whines, weakly hitting Hyunjin’s chest. After a few seconds of silence, he looks into his sparkling eyes again. “I love you.”
Hyunjin hums and runs his fingers through his hair. The distance between their faces decreases as he softly presses his lips against Seungmin’s. The action feels like an oath, a declaration that their feelings for each other will go beyond time, life, and death.
They rest their foreheads against each other. Hyunjin takes notice of the necklace Seungmin is wearing, amazed at how it shines despite the flickering light post being their only reliable source of light. “You wore it,” he mumbles.
“I did. Who else is going to stop me now from wearing it?”
No one. Not even an incoming solar surge, or a collision against the moon or sun is going to stop them anymore. The sand in the hourglass is running out too fast, and the thought of more disasters occurring in the next few hours is terrifying.
Yes, the world is ending. But Seungmin is at home, finally right where he’s supposed to be, and that’s okay.