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There was a squeal and the scuttling of feet as Skye pushed open the door to the locker room door. She glances down at her watch in surprise. 2:47 am. She would have sworn she was the only one awake at this hour, this close to the bunks at least.
The sound of water echoed off the tiled walls but the curtain was open, no one was inside... then who-
"Oh! Hello Skye!"
The squeaky, forcedly-calm English accent was unmistakable.
"Simmons?" The scientist in question stood in the middle of the room, rocking up onto the balls of her feet and then back into her heels. A large blue towel was all she wore, clenched around her torso with both pale, bruise mottled hands. Even more contusions criss-crossed what could be seen of her back and chest, though they had started to fade to a sickly green around the edges. Long, honey colored hair cascaded over her tense, hunched shoulders, knotted and slightly greasy, masking the scrapes over the left side of her face, the ones that matched Fitz's.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Well, this is the loo isn't it?" She was trying to distract. Skye's eyes tracked her trembling fingers as they tucked a strand of... huh, partly wet hair behind her ear.
"Yeah, but you're in a towel."
"So I am. Training with May seems to be paying off already."
Skye couldn't help the bark of laughter that jumped from her chest, "Gee thanks, Simmons. I'm just saying... It's... been a while since anyone has seen you out of medical."
They had been at The Playground for three days and for the entirety of those three day Jemma Simmons had not left Fitz's side. She sat by his bed, one hand woven tightly around his, the other balancing a tablet on her lap, scrolling through unimaginable amounts of data. Books, papers, a thesis or two, medical journals, graphs and charts about oxygen deprivation, possible side effects (coma (that one was obvious), aphasia, memory loss, paralysis, heart problems, the terrifying list went on and on), how long those effects might last, therapies to get back some of effected functions, ways to ease suffering. Skye had tried to read it once. Simmons had finally passed out, draped over the side of Fitz's bed, the tablet dangling precariously from her fingers. She'd rescued the tech and started to read but only made it through a few lines (which were filled with medical jargon and chemical names long enough to be their own sentences) before she gave it up as a bad job.
A thunder cloud seemed to pass over Simmons' face, "Well... Director Coulson seemed to think it was best if I took a break and... I've been banned until seven AM. I believe his exact words were," Here she adopted a terrible American accent, "'Simmons. You're burning yourself out sitting here. I'm banning you from medical and the labs until tomorrow morning.'" She dropped the accent as well as her head, "He's not wrong but... I..."
While Skye agreed one hundred percent with what the director was saying about her, part of her was upset with him. The obvious anxiety coursing through Simmons was only getting stronger the longer she was away from Fitz. Thin fingers plucked at the frayed edge of the towel before falling into a quaking fist at her side and Skye wanted to figure out a way to sneak Simmons back into medical, just so she'd lose an iota of the stress that was building on her slim shoulders, and she was sure this was one instance where the scientist would forego her good girl ways. But... no. Coulson had a reason for everything. Hopefully this too would pan out the way he was obviously planning for it to.
"Okay, that sucks but...it still doesn't explain why you're in here at almost 3 am."
"Well. I ... wasn't tired and after I had some tea and pretzels, I decided I should take a shower, which I'm embarrassed to admit, I have yet to do of late..." The hand that wasn't clenched in the top of the towel started twisting around itself again, fingers knotting and unknotting, picking at loose skin.
"Which also doesn't explain why you're only half wet." Simmons wouldn't look at her, which was never a good sign, just stood, shaking in the center of the room, water still pounding against the tiles, the only sound apart of the increasingly quick breaths in and out of Simmons' mouth.
As Skye watched, the scientist's eyes slid out of focus and the trembling intensified. Something like a whimper clawed its way out of her throat and Skye was across the room in a moment, clamping Simmons' face in her hands. This wasn't the first episode like this she's dealt with since they'd arrived at the Playground.
The first day there, she and Simmons had been sitting at Fitz's side. A lab tech had walked by outside the open door and tripped over his own feet. The tray full of slides in his hands had crashed to the floor in a spectacular cacophony of shattering glass and ringing metal. The next thing anyone knew, Simmons had thrown herself across Fitz's prone body, clinging to him, crying and shaking. Skye had roared at the lab tech to leave the mess and go away before quietly shutting the door and moving to Simmons.
It had taken more than fifteen minutes to talk her back down. After she was sitting in her chair again, a heartily embarrassed Simmons had tried to send Skye away, but she had refused, linking her arm through the one of Simmons' that wasn't shakily still holding onto Fitz and saying she'd done it multiple times in the orphanage.
There had been another one the next day, set off by a similar incident (for secret agents, the science division folks seemed incredibly clumsy. Especially for people who were meant to be dealing with dangerous chemicals and technology... Skye made a mental note to talk to AC, wait, DC now, about that. FitzSimmons always had a kind of delicate art to the way they moved around the lab and one another, almost never faltering. The memory of their incredible synchronicity ached in Skye's chest as another vision, Simmons puttering around the lab alone, bloomed in her mind.) but Skye had caught it early, holding her friend's face, forcing her to look into her eyes and breathe together. It was a constant with Simmons, the need for a physical anchor when she started panicking. Skye hadn't wanted to touch her the first time, having learned from experience that some of the kids at the orphanage had just spiraled out further when she had, but Simmons latched onto her so Skye just went with it.
"Simmons, hey look at me. Hey. Deep breath in. Good. Now out." Her inhales were little more than shallow gasps but compared to the almost panting of moments ago, it was remarkable progress.
Simmons' free hand slipped around Skye's wrist, slim, cool fingers like a vice. Skye kept a hold on her face, thumbs brushing her cheeks, wiping away the stray tears that leaked out, humming a quiet, calm note on the exhales. She kept her breathing, slow and steady, slightly exaggerated so Simmons could feel and match her. The practice was already making her slightly light headed but it was calming her friend, so she would not stop.
Letting Simmons keep her grip, Skye reached behind her and turned the shower knob with her free hand until the stream of water slowly trickled to a stop. Almost instantly the tension was sucked out of Simmons and she sagged slightly.
They stood in silence for a further few moments, Simmons keeping Skye's hand pressed to her cheek, Skye regulating their breathing humming cycle until they synced up and Simons fingers loosed enough to twist her wrist around to link their hands.
The scientist shot her a small, watery, guilty smile, "I'm s-"
"Shut up," Skye murmured, squeezing her hand, "You don't have to apologize. Just tell me what's going on. I wanna help."
Simmons' jaw ticked as she gritted her teeth against the words she wasn't sure she could say. Saying them out loud would make it real. Make her weakness and failures real.
"I... I'm finding it difficult to... It's..."By some miracle of friendship or Skye magic, she understood, even with the little Simmons had said.
"It's the water." She hummed, "Because of-"
"Yes." Simmons looked away, tears sparkling in her amber eyes yet again, chest collapsing inward and at that moment, Skye felt more of a need to go downstairs to Vault D, drop the barrier, and punch Grand Ward square in the face than she had so far. Seeing Fitz still and silent, tethered to machines just to keep him alive had fanned the flames of rage in her chest, making them steadily stronger. But this. Seeing Simmons like this; bubbly, excitable, brave, know-it-all Simmons all but falling to pieces when faced with a shower; it was gasoline, taking the bonfire and turning it into a raging forest inferno.
A huge part of her wanted to spin out of the bathroom and just go deck Ward at that very moment, the familiar ache pulling at the back of her throat at the thought of him. But no, getting upset wouldn't help Simmons now, and leaving suddenly certainly wouldn't. So Skye tamped down the flames, protecting the embers so the next time they came face to face, Ward wouldn't know what hit him.
"What can I do?" Simmons blanched at the question, trying to back away.
"Nothing. Skye, really, I'm being silly. I'll deal with it. I'm sorry I've kept you. It's late, you ought to be sleeping." She tried to pull on the familiar, Doctor Simmons mask but it slipped painfully short.
"If it's messing you up this much, it's not silly, Simmons. You don't have to do this alone." Skye clutched her hand harder but Simmons ripped herself away, another tear blazing a trail down her mottled cheek, fire and fear igniting in her eyes.
"I might have to start doing very many things alone, Skye. Why not start here!"
Silence rang off the tile walls, Simmons gasping against the new flood of tears and the mounting pain in her chest. Skye stared at her, unsure of how to continue forward. Simmons rarely snapped, and when she did, it was at Fitz or the situation completely warranted it. Which, Skye supposed, this was a little of both.
"Fitz is gonna be okay, Simmons. Between you and all the med agents. And you know he'd never leave you. Not without a fight, you know that." Which was apparently the exact wrong thing to say. It broke the dam that had only been tentatively reconstructed.
"But he did." She gasped, trembling and clutching the towel like a lifeline again, "He just gave me the oxygen and pushed the button and... and I tried to give it to him but he-"
This was more than any of them had heard her say about their time in the med pod. All that she would say previously was that he had saved her life. Anyone could see the guilt slowly gnawing away at her, making her hands shake and her eyes dart. They had been out for four days, but those few hours in the pod had all but destroyed FitzSimmons.
"Simmons." Skye gathered her in her arms, "you've got to stop blaming yourself for this. It was not your fault. It was Ward," She spat his name like the poison it felt like on her tongue, holding tighter when Simmons jerked a little in her arms, " and whatever Fitz did, I'm sure he thought it was for the best."
"Well he was wrong then! And what the hell gave him the right to decide what was best for me?!" She bit out, face pressed into Skye's shoulder, "It's ridiculous that he thought... we're partners. He's-" Something seemed to catch in her throat and her breaths stuttered. Skye rubbed slow soothing circles over her back until whatever it was became unstuck and she continued, "He's my best friend. How could he think-"
"He knows how strong you are, Simmons. You jumped out of the Bus to protect us all. You took a grenade for me and him. Honestly , sometimes I worry about your lack of self preservation. You're strong and brave and he must have thought you could handle this too."
"He was so wrong," she hiccupped, forehead pressed to Skye's neck, "I can't-"
"Yes, you can." Skye took her, rather forcefully, by the shoulders (momentarily forgetting about her friend's injuries), "You're Jemma freaking Simmons! Youngest ever Academy graduate. Co-inventor of multiple, invaluable tools that have saved I don't know how many agents but I'm sure it's a lot. Hell, you made a vaccine for something you were already infected with!"
"Anti-serum," Simmons corrected under her breath but Skye bulldozed on.
"You helped lead Fury to us in New Mexico and basically turned to tide against Hydra in doing it."
"All of which, I never could have done without Fitz."
"Yes you could. Maybe not in this specific universe but... You can do anything, is my point."
"Did you just make a reference to the Multi-Universe Theory?" Skye ignored the question.
"And whatever happens, and believe me, I need Fitz to wake up. I miss him so much... I can't imagine how you... Well... Whatever happens, you have to know, you will never be alone. You've got me and Coulson and May and I guess Trip now too. We... we love you. You're not alone."
Simmons ducked her head, "I know that. It's just... It's only been the two of us for so long. And then it wasn't but I still felt like it was just us sometimes."
"Hey, it was only me for a little while too... then I had Miles for a little bit but then it was just me again and now... now it's all of us together."
"Oh... Skye, I'm sorry I must seem dreadfully tactless, talking like this when you-" Jemma went to pull away but Skye held her fast.
"No. No no no, I'm not saying that to make you feel bad or whatever. No. That's not what I meant to do . Shit... Okay. What I'm trying to say is that life is change. You don't just have Fitz now. There are a ton of people here that you can lean on. It... I'm sure it's not the same," At that, Simmons shuddered and Skye, squeezing her shoulders, went on, "But you've got us nonetheless."
Simmons' head dropped to Skye's shoulder again and she let out a watery sigh, "I'm so tired, Skye. And I'm so sorry that I've been-"
"Simmons, I swear to Thor and his dreamy biceps of godliness, if you apologize one more time-"
"Just. Thank you."
Skye smiled and hugged her friend once more, "Of course."
They rocked for a moment longer before Skye pulled away, keeping a grip on Simmons' free hand, "So. Shower."
The scientist's face fell as she began twisting the top of the towel again, "I know, it's ridiculous, but the thought of... I'm having a difficult time separating myself-" She continued to stutter, finding it more difficult than usual to express her feelings until the hacker put her out of her misery.
"Okay hang on," Skye dropped her hand, tugging her shirt off over her head first and then shucking off her boots, socks and pants. Simmons winced at the sight of the scars marring the once smooth skin of Skye's abdomen. The memory of Skye's blood coating her fingers, of her seizing after the injection, being powerless to save someone she cared about for the first time. Apparently not the last either.
"Simmons," Skye's voice snapped her out of the spiral she hadn't realized she was falling into, "Hey, we're okay. Pull out. Breathe."
Her eyes snapped to Skye's face, now framed in her long, dark hair, "Sorry." She gasped.
The hacker huffed, grabbing a towel from the stack in the corner and wrapping it around herself before stripping off her bra and underwear, throwing them on the pile growing in the middle of the floor.
"What exactly do you think-"
"Calm down, Simmons, there's more than one shower. I need one too anyway. This way we can talk, and you won't be in here alone."
Skye thought the scientist was going to start crying again as she turned on the faucets to two of the showers and steam started to fill up the room.
"Summer lovin' had me a blast!" Skye busted out, her strong, clear voice ringing off the tiles. Simmons leapt a foot in the air at the sudden outburst and stared at her incredulously.
"What?"
"Oh my god, Simmons, do not tell me you haven't seen Grease. I might actually drag you out of here right now to watch it."
"Of course I've seen Grease. I just don't know why you're singing Summer Lovin' at this particular moment."
"Well if you're focused on singing with me, you'll be less focused on other things. Now come on, 'Summer lovin' had me a blast,'" Skye started for her shower, singing with the same gusto as before.
"'Summer lovin' happened so fast.'" Simmons warbled in response. Her voice didn't have the power that Skye's did but it was sweet and light and exactly how Skye expected her voice to sound.
"'Met a girl, crazy for me.' Wait, why do I have to be the dudes!" Skye had ducked behind the curtain but stuck her head out to glare at Simmons, as if it was her fault.
"Because you're the one that started it," Simmons shot back, dropping the towel after she was in her stall and sticking an arm out to hang it on the hook, "'Met a boy, cute as can be.'"
Sucking in a breath and trying to focus on harmonizing with Skye's enthusiastic beginning of the next line, she stepped under the warm spray, "Summer days drifting away, to, uh-oh, those summer nights."
XXX
This pattern went on for weeks. Skye would snag Simmons from where ever she was (medical mostly, and then, after Fitz had woken up and been released, his therapy room or the lab) and they would shower in tandem, belting out old musical number of Skye's choosing until Simmons didn't know one she started and insisted they move on to Disney songs. Not every night was easy, but they never went back to how bad it was the first night. Even after Simmons got... granted personal leave (something Skye did not believe for one second but she trusted Coulson enough now not to snoop into it... too much) she'd go down to their regular bathroom at night and sing to herself.
The first night Simmons returned, she showed up at Skye's door in a towel, another in hand, at almost 3 am.
"So I was thinking 'Dancing Queen' might be a good song to start off with tonight?" The weak smiled she offered did nothing to hide that fact that the scientist's eyes were red-rimmed and she looked thinner and more skittish than she had before she'd left. It was obvious her reunion with Fitz hadn't gone well.
Skye grinned back, taking the towel and ducking into her closet to get undressed, calling over her shoulder, "See, I was thinking 'Favorite Things.'"
"Both?"
"Both."