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Yeosang remembers, it all started with him wanting to diet and exercise to be in better shape. He's not the type to sacrifice his favourite food, chicken and sweet desserts, but something about seeing both San and Wooyoung all bulked up and muscular makes him want to get into a fit shape as well. People around him have been saying that he has a great body shape, but he wasn't satisfied. He wants to be more muscular, fit and healthy. He bought all the important ingredients to help him with his diet, but the idea came crashing down when Hongjoong found out. There's a reason why he kept this idea of him as a secret – Hongjoong will never let him diet.
"Sangie! What are all these fitness protein things? Are you going on a diet or something?"
Hongjoong lifts up a few boxes of proteins with both his hands and looks at Yeosang, who stands in the living room, eyes widened just like a deer caught in headlights. The younger bites his lower lip as his right hand is busy scratching the back of his head. Hongjoong knows that action; it's done whenever the younger is caught off guard by something. Hongjoong puts the items back on the kitchen counter as he stands with both his hands on the sides of his waist. He has this expression and look on his face, and Yeosang knows the meaning of the look very well since his mother tends to have that look whenever she needs an explanation from him.
"Look, hyung—"
"I know it was a bad idea to let you follow Sannie and Wooyoungie to the gym. Now you're gonna diet and bulk up too, like them! It's not a bad thing, but... you have to cut down all the food you love to eat, and for what? Just to look the best? You're already looking hot right now; you don't have to follow them or anyone. I love you, Sangie, and I care about you. Are you sure you wanna cut down on all your favourite food? Drinks?"
Yeosang swears his heart almost stopped when the older said those three words, but he knows damn well that the older doesn't mean it in that way. He looks at the older one, who was looking back straight at him, and he looks around the place, trying to hide his red cheeks as he blushes. Hongjoong's question made him think again – does he really want to cut down on eating his favourite food and drink? But he wants a body like San or Wooyoung, and it seems like the older could hear his thoughts as he huffs out angrily.
"No. You already have a nice body. You don't need to be like Sannie or Wooyoungie. No, Yeosangie," Hongjoong said as he stepped in front of the younger while having an annoyed face. Even when Hongjoong is annoyed or angry at him right now, he looks adorable… and handsome. He's seriously head over heels for his roommate, and it's getting worse.
But now that he noticed it, the older isn't in his usual home outfit. He's all dressed up – a white t-shirt tucked in his denim jeans as he wears his usual black Converse, and his hair is slicked back handsomely. He'd be drooling, ogling over the older right now, but his mind can't help but think that he's about to go on a date. Yet again, he thought it wasn't true since it was Friday night and they have their ritual, which is to watch a Disney movie.
"Are you going somewhere, hyung?"
Hongjoong gasps and claps his hands once as a sign that he just remembered something. Yeosang could feel something bad or unwanted was about to happen, and his instincts are usually right.
"I'm going out to meet Seonghwa."
Seonghwa? Who the heck is Seonghwa? He has never heard that name in the year and a half they've been roommates and friends. So, who's this man? Or woman? Yeosang's eyebrows furrowed deeply as he's now a mix of jealous and betrayed. What about their ritual? Their usual Disney movie nights? He heaves out a soft sigh while shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.
"Right now? Today?" Yeosang asks, and the older nods his head, looking innocent. Is this man for real? Did he really forget our usual thing? Yeosang thought to himself and looked down at his feet, which made the older ask him as to what was wrong. Yeosang looks up instantly at him, a sad look appearing on his face, and Hongjoong swears his heart breaks at the sight.
"Sㅡsangie, what's wrong? Did I say something wrong?"
Yeosang scoffs out as he sniffles before looking at the older. "It's Friday night. We have our ritual, our Disney movie night. I can't believe you seriously forgot just to go on a date. I thought you weren't that type, hyung."
"Sangㅡ"
"No, it's fine. Go on your date. I don't even know why I care and why I'm crying right now. Just go," Yeosang said and turned around to walk to his room, ignoring the calls from Hongjoong before he shut the door and locked it. Hongjoong stood there, stunned and shocked. It was the first time he had seen the younger cry and be mad, which startled him as he didn't even know what to do. He knows that it was his fault for forgetting their ritual, especially since Yeosang loves watching Disney movies.
He really wanted to comfort the younger, but looking at the time, he's going to be late for his meeting with Seonghwa. He has promised the male that he'll make it tonight to discuss some things, and he doesn't want to break that promise even though he broke his promise with Yeosang. Thinking like that, it made him realise what a jerk he is.
He looks at the younger's door, pressing his lips together tightly as he frowns sadly. "I'm sorry, Sangie. I'll make it up to you," he said even though he knows the younger can't hear him. Hongjoong grabs his keys and leaves the place.
Yeosang, who was in his room, is leaning against the door, wanting to listen and wait in case Hongjoong decides to come up to his room, wanting to apologise or explain things. But… he didn't. He heard the jangling of keys, and the front door opened before it closed. He stood there, feeling numb as he cried again. Did the older really put his date before his friend?
He leans his back against the door and cries out as he slowly slides down, hugging his knees to his chest. He feels so pathetic, crying over something small, but he can't help it. He likes Hongjoong so much that anything the older does affects him. It feels like wherever he goes, he'll see the older or think of him, and it's driving him crazy. If he were to put into words how much he adores and likes Hongjoong, it'd probably take weeks, or even months.
He lifts his head up to look at the photo frame of him and Hongjoong against the wall. It was a picture of them during their Busan vacation. He remembers Yunho told them to hug, but Yeosang was shy, so Hongjoong did it first, and then he followed. He doesn't know what bravery washes over him that day, but he kissed the elder's cheek, and Yunho managed to capture the funny look on Hongjoong's face that day. He sniffles and lies down after turning the air conditioner on full blast, letting himself shiver on the cold, hard floor as sadness and sleep take over him once again.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Loud knocks and banging on the door. He could hear voices outside of his room, calling out for him frantically. What happened? Before he could open his eyes, the sound of the opening door could be heard.
"Sangie!"
Hongjoong hyung? It sounds like his beloved Hongjoong hyung. He opens his eyes slowly, but gosh, his head and body hurt so much. It's probably due to him crying a while ago and sleeping on the cold floor for hours. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw Hongjoong, Yunho, Mingi, Wooyoung, San, Jongho and… someone he doesn't know. Who's that? He was a stranger to Yeosang, but the stranger looked worried as fuck.
Wooyoung and San help carry him to place him on the bed before covering his lower body up to his chest with his blanket. Yeosang frowns while closing his eyes back as the headache was too painful at the moment.
"Sangie… What were you thinking, lying on the cold floor with the air conditioner on full blast?" Hongjoong asks as he sits next to the younger on the bed. Yeosang could sense the concern in his voice, and he honestly doesn't know why he did what he did, but it happened.
"Joong, he just woke up. Let him breathe; give him space. You might suffocate him," the stranger said, and Yeosang could hear the sincerity in his voice. Hongjoong sighs out and looks at the male.
"I'm sorry, Hwa. Sangie just means a lot to me, and I was just worried."
Hwa? As in Seonghwa? So… this is Seonghwa? He even brought his date to their place? Really now? He tugs on his blanket harshly so that Hongjoong would move, and that shocked the male. The others, except Seonghwa and Hongjoong, look at one another. They could sense that something was off with Yeosang. He seems angry, offended and sad, which made them curious.
Yunho giggles awkwardly all of a sudden to catch everyone's attention. Jongho told Hongjoong and Seonghwa to make them some tea while the others look out for Yeosang. As Hongjoong was about to ask why, Seonghwa drags him out of the room. Mingi closed the door and locked it again before they looked at Yeosang, who finally opened his eyes properly.
"Sangie, what's wrong?" Mingi asks as they all sit on the bed to surround him. Yeosang bites his lower lip before breaking into tears again. Jongho was fast as he pulled the older into a tight yet gentle hug, letting Yeosang cry in his arms. Wooyoung looks at San worriedly, and San strokes the back of Wooyoung's head to calm him down.
Jongho rubs Yeosang's back soothingly while he looks at the others. Yunho presses his lips together tightly as he rests his head against Mingi's. This is the first time they've seen Yeosang crying this bad, being a mess. And honestly, it hurt their hearts to see the male like this.
After a few minutes had passed, Yeosang managed to calm down while still being in the younger's embrace. He looks at his friends and feels embarrassed. He can't believe he broke down twice, but this time, in front of his friends. San reaches out to hold his hand gently, stroking his knuckles with his thumb, and Wooyoung smiles at him before pressing a soft kiss on Yeosang's cheek.
"Can we talk now?" Mingi asks softly, as he doesn't want to trigger the male, and Yeosang nods his head. Yeosang sits on Jongho's lap with his back leaned against the younger's chest. He feels better now, as his friends are here, especially since they let him have his moment just now. He swallows his saliva and takes a deep breath before confessing.
"I like Hongjoong hyung."
At the moment he let it out, he was shocked and confused, as his friends didn't react outrageously as he thought they would. He looks at each and every one of them – they have a chill expression on their faces. Yeosang frowns, and Yunho nods.
"We know."
They knowㅡ wait, what? "How did you know? I never told anyone," Yeosang asks as he runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. Wooyoung chuckles while shaking his head, and San looks at Yeosang in amusement.
"Sangie, it's obvious you like Joong hyung. You drop everything you do so fast just to help him, be with him or do something with him. Not to mention, you were so excited when you became his date to last semester's prom event thingy. You talk about him and the things he does all the time."
Yeosang looks at Wooyoung, who was talking, and he feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He thought he was good at hiding his feelings, but it turns out he wasn't. Jongho chuckles as he finds the elder's embarrassed expression adorable.
"You look at him like he has sacrificed so many things for you. You have these heart eyes!" San said, which made Yeosang even more embarrassed. Mingi teases him and pokes his cheek before Jongho breaks up the commotion.
"Wait. If you like him, then why were you crying so much and being so sad that you literally almost froze yourself to death on the floor?" Jongho asks, and the others look at him before agreeing to the question. Yeosang heaves out a deep sigh as he plays with his fingers. He explains to them why he acted that way and what Hongjoong did and said to him a while ago.
He hissed softly in pain when Wooyoung pinched his arm playfully. He rubs the spot and looks at him, wondering why he did that. The others just burst out laughing, which confuses him even more. They were supposed to help him or at least sympathise with him, but why are they laughing? It turns out Seonghwa isn't Hongjoong's date; he was Hongjoong's childhood friend who came just to visit him. Hongjoong did want to explain, but he had cut him off. Right, it was his fault too for acting hastily. Now, he feels bad for what happened. He looks at his friends, and they're discussing how he should talk to the older about this and about his feelings.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
As for Hongjoong and Seonghwa, who were outside making some tea in the kitchen, they were a bit confused as to why Jongho pushed them out of the room so quickly, but Seonghwa was fast – he knew something might've happened between Hongjoong and Yeosang. He looks at Hongjoong, who was staring at the empty mug in front of him. He nudges the male's arm to get his attention.
Hongjoong blinks his eyes a few times and looks at Seonghwa. He flashes a smile before apologising for losing himself in his own thoughts.
"What are you thinking of?"
Seonghwa asks, and he shrugs his shoulders. "Yeosangie. The way he's acting today is weird. I've never seen this side of him before."
He said as he scoops two teaspoons of sugar to place in a total of 8 mugs while Seonghwa waits for the hot water to boil. Seonghwa hums in response while waiting for Hongjoong to continue his words, as he doesn't want to pressure his friend into opening up about his issue.
"You know, we have this ritual every Friday night." Seonghwa furrows his eyebrows quickly and relaxes when Hongjoong tells him it's not that kind of ritual.
"We watch a Disney movie every Friday night 'cause Sangie likes them. I've never missed them; we've never missed them, but I did tonight. And he was mad. I've never seen him angry, and he cried a while ago too because of this."
Seonghwa nods his head as he understands right away what has happened. Since he needs to make some things clear, he decided to ask Hongjoong something.
"When you do this ritual of yours every Friday night, do you guys cuddle under the same blanket and share snacks or drinks?"
Hongjoong doesn't understand the point of his friend's question, but he nods at it nonetheless. Seonghwa snaps his fingers, as he was right about something. Hongjoong looks at him even more confused. What was the point of him asking that question? "I don't see why you need to know that."
"Hongjoong! You guys could be catching feelings for one another at this point. What you did with him is something out of the ordinary, especially for you, who dislikes skinship and affection. I'm your childhood friend, but you don't even do that with me. Heck! You don't even do that with your sibling."
Hongjoong widens his eyes as if something hits him in the head, and he steps away from the kitchen counter with his hands opened in front of him as a sign for Seonghwa to hold on. Does he like Yeosang? Does Yeosang like him?
What Seonghwa said is true – he dislikes skinship and affection with people even though they might be his friends or family. Now that Seonghwa pointed it out, it hit him how he never declines or rejects Yeosang's skinship and affections towards him. He doesn't know why, but when he's with the younger, he feels super comfortable, to the point where he doesn't mind if Yeosang is hugging him, kissing his cheek playfully or even cuddling closely with him.
The teasing look on Seonghwa's face doesn't make it better. He shakes his head before he falls deep in his thoughts again. Seonghwa snaps his fingers in front of his friend's face to get his attention back.
"Do you find Yeosang attractive? What do you think if someone were to ask him out, saying he's handsome and wants to be his boyfriend?"
Hongjoong looks at the male while absorbing the questions. He does find Yeosang attractive; the younger is handsome, kind-hearted, and selfless. His shy self makes him ten times more adorable than other people. Everything about the younger is attractive and pretty. He doesn't know why, but his anger bubbles up inside of him at the thought of another man asking Yeosang out on a date and wanting to be his boyfriend.
With those thoughts in his head, he explains it in a detailed way to Seonghwa. While he was explaining, he couldn't ignore the way Seonghwa was looking at him – smirking as if he knew something. After explaining, three words from Seonghwa made him realise things.
"You like him."
Hongjoong blinks his eyes as he thought he heard it wrongly, but nope, Seonghwa repeats it thrice. Now he understands why the younger was so upset a while ago, why he was crying and why he told him to go on his 'date'. But wait, does Yeosang like him in the same way, though?
"But Hwa, I don't even know if he likes me more than a friend like I do. What if he's just disappointed 'cause I broke my promise and not because he likes me in that way?"
"For someone who has an IQ of 145, makes his own music, and reforms things creatively, you're stupid."
Hongjoong scoffs offensively as he crosses his arms over his chest while looking at the male who's pouring the hot water into each mug that already has a tea bag. He stirs the tea to melt the sugar while Seonghwa puts the kettle back. Seonghwa told him that it seems like Yeosang has feelings for him too, but the only way he can find it out is to talk it out with the younger. As much as he's embarrassed to talk about it, he has to for their own good.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
And that's how he ended up at the dining table with Yeosang, who's looking down at his hands. Hongjoong wanted to tell him to not hide his pretty face, but right now, the younger needs to eat his dinner and his meds, especially since he had a cold from before. He ordered yangnyeom chicken, kimbap and bibimbap, as these are the younger's favourite foods.
"Sangie, eat these first, then take your meds, okay? We can talk after this."
Yeosang finally looks up at Hongjoong to nod his head, and the older is glad he looks better than before even though his eyes are slightly swollen. Yeosang picks up the chopsticks to take a piece of kimbap and eats it. He hums softly at the delicious taste of the food. Hongjoong smiles as he looks at the male.
"You're not eating, hyung?"
Hongjoong shakes his head in response to Yeosang's question, saying that he ate ramen with Seonghwa before he and their other friends went back. The older could see how tensed up Yeosang is when he mentions Seonghwa's name, so he decided to clear up the misunderstanding right now.
"Seonghwa is a childhood friend. We went to the same high school back then, and we got along 'cause he was the only one who could handle my weird self, and I was the only one who could handle his sassy self. He's been planning to visit me here for quite a while, but his work always holds him back, so... he's finally here today after sorting his things out. Our meeting today was unplanned. He called me out of the blue, saying he was here, and I was shocked, too. So I got dressed quickly, and then I went out to see your protein stuff on the kitchen counter. I'm sorry, Sangie. I didn't do our usual routine today 'cause my childhood friend dropped by all of a sudden, and I've been wanting to see him, to tell him about what I've done and… about us."
Yeosang looks up straight at the older; his eyes meet Hongjoong's at the mention of 'us' in the conversation. He grips the wooden chopsticks so hard that they crack in his hand. He was shocked, and Hongjoong was, too, but the older grabs the younger's hand to check if there are any bruises.
"Are you okay, Sangie? Does your hand hurt?" Yeosang nods his head at the first question and shakes his head at the second question. He bites his lower lip in embarrassment before telling Hongjoong to continue his words.
When Hongjoong asked him if he was mad or jealous of him going out with Seonghwa a while ago, Yeosang's heart was beating fast. He doesn't expect the older to catch on this fast. Now, he's nervous as he's wondering, thinking if the older knew about his feelings.
"I talked to Hwa before he left, and he made me realise some things."
"What are they, hyung?"
Hongjoong smiles, feeling glad that the younger asked that.
"He made me realise why you act the way you do and made me realise that I like you as more than friends. I've always found you attractive, Sangie. I thought a few times as to how it'd be to wake up next to your beautiful face, seeing you get all shy and soft at our close proximity, at being under the same blanket for a whole night. I didn't realise that I was having those thoughts of you. Then Seonghwa asks me how I'd feel if another guy asked you out on a date and wanted to be your boyfriend – I get jealous and mad at that. I was thinking that only I get to ask you out on a date, have movie nights with you and be your boyfriend. I wanna be your boyfriend."
Yeosang's eyes never leave Hongjoong's as he absorbs all of the elder's sincere words into his heart and his mind. The corner of his lips twitched upward into a smile as he felt the butterflies in his stomach explode. It was overwhelming but the good kind.
He can't believe that his roommate and friend of a year and a half feels the same way as he does. Yeosang started to question himself – what does he have that attracted Hongjoong? As he starts to feel insecure, the older holds his hand gently in his.
"Sangie, don't ever doubt yourself. You're wonderful, pretty as you are right now. You don't need to change to be like other people. I like you for who you are right now. You're special in your own way that others can't match. I'm attracted to you because you're you."
"I like you too, hyung. I have been ever since you helped me with my composition class. The sight of you being serious while helping me with music is just attractive. Then, you decided to make me whipped for you even more when you joined me for my Disney movie night rituals. You're amazing, hyung. I don't say this much, but... you're attractive. Like, really attractive."
Hongjoong chuckles as he looks away for a minute since he was blushing, feeling shy upon the younger's words. He has heard from people a lot of times of how genius he is with music, but hearing it from the person he likes, that's just different.
Yeosang tightens the hold on the elder's hand as he smiles widely. He was too happy that he couldn't keep the happiness inside. Hongjoong feeds the younger some bibimbap and feeds himself some of it too, as the sight and smell of the food are delicious. Yeosang told Hongjoong he felt bad for having bad thoughts about Seonghwa, and the older said that Seonghwa understands.
As they finish their dinner and Yeosang has taken his meds, both of them cuddle up on the couch in front of the TV. The remote is in Hongjoong's hand as he browses through the Disney movie categories, thinking of what to watch. Yeosang was staring at Hongjoong, scanning and taking in his handsome features into his mind. "You're making me shy," the older said, and Yeosang blushed as he was caught.
Hongjoong looks at him and presses a soft kiss on the younger's forehead. "What do you wanna watch, Sangie?" Yeosang took the remote and browsed again before he played his movie for the night: Lilo & Stitch. Hongjoong groans as he says that this movie was sad and he might cry, to which Yeosang laughs as he says that it's okay.
They cuddle together under the same blanket with their legs tangled together, eyes too focused on the screen, and Hongjoong mutters something in Yeosang's ear that makes the younger squeal out a loud "yes!" Hongjoong giggles and pulls Yeosang close to kiss him passionately, lips moving together in sync while the movie plays in front of them. Yeosang placed his hands on Hongjoong's chest while the older tangled his right fingers in Yeosang's hair gently. After what seemed like a few minutes of a make-out session, they resumed the movie with both of them blushing madly. Hongjoong was glad Yeosang agreed to be his boyfriend, and Yeosang was happy that Hongjoong asked him to be one.