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Dean was used to seeing the world in faded colors. In fact, he never knew anything else apart from the faded green of his favorite shirt, the ashy sand-like yellow of his favorite beer, and the ashy black of Sammy’s hair. Throughout the years he wondered what some things would look like in their true colors: mom’s hair, those funny stickers on Charlie’s laptop, Cas’ eyes.
Cas’ eyes were an enigma to Dean. He knew that they were light in their shade — at least, Jimmy Novak had a good portion of genetics that gifted him (and, eventually, Castiel) with a stark contrast between light-shaded eyes and deeply dark hair.
Not that Dean paid that much attention to Cas’ appearance. The dude dressed always the same with a barely noticeable exception of his tie and that awful time when the angel turned human.
Actually, he found peace with the fact that he might never see the true colors of the world. Not with this hunter’s life. Not when he literally senses that Castiel is the only one who might be Dean’s true soulmate. Well, there’s literally no other way to call it if you just feel right around this person no matter where you are. Or if your color vision slightly improves around them. At best, Dean could say that Castiel uses his mojo to improve his color vision, but that would be a ridiculous thought. And anyway, how the hell is Cas supposed to know what soulmates are?
So, Dean didn’t even try to hope that Castiel ever had a single thought about soulmates. He’s an angel, after all — and angels don’t feel things, right? His eyes probably even have a superhuman vision, so whatever it is, Dean was doomed. Even if Cas was his soulmate, that thing would totally be one-sided, because that makes sense, right? Angels are junkless, they don’t feel stuff, and Cas is only his best friend, so there’s no logical purpose to even hope that Dean will one day experience what it’s like to see the world in its original color palette.
Mary once said that at the moment she met John, nothing was unusual. It was the moment when they first kissed when she realized the feeling was mutual and the world had a lot more vividness than she had used to. However, being brought back from the dead years after your soulmate died turned out to be not only emotionally painful but also colorless, literally.
Sam was lucky, though — he was Rowena’s protegee, attentive enough to see how their bond affected his vision. When he had to sacrifice her, he thought he’d lose everything including his color vision but nothing’s changed because, well, the witch found her way to exist in the realm of Hell and become a proper queen — not so alive, but still Sam’s soulmate.
So yeah, the older Winchester could as well put a “colorblind and stupid” sticker on his forehead.
What Dean didn’t know is that you can see colors probably too vividly when something happens to your soulmate.
***
When Rowena wrapped her hand around Sam’s on the blade that was dangerously close to her, Sam’s vision went blue. When he pierced her with it, he cried. He cried a lot, and everything was red, and then, for a few hours, there was nothing but grey around him.
When he found her in Hell as a Queen, colors were mercifully back to his sight.
Dean was happy for his brother. He truly was, because at least one of Winchesters was able to see the world in better colors, even if it was doomed to collapse.
In that damned dungeon, Dean was seeing colors for the first time in his life. He was a tough guy — being a hunter since you’re six years old does that to you. He was a tough guy, but that didn’t save him from tears — actual tears that dripped from his eyes when he realized that Castiel knew. That Castiel felt. Dean was loved and accepted for the first time in his cursed life, and everything went red around him — so ruby red that he thought his capillaries were exploding.
For a brief moment, he finally saw the color of Cas’ eyes. They weren’t shining grey, as Dean previously thought, no — they were shameless blue and full of tears. Cas had blue eyes, a dark blue tie, and ridiculously pink lips.
Holy shit. If Dean can see colors now, that means Cas heard his prayer in the Purgatory. He heard it and he knew it and he reciprocated it. Holy shit.
And just like that, he was gone in a splash of blue. Like, completely gone — even the goo representing the Empty was deep dark blue, and that spark of the moment completely broke Dean’s heart.
It was Cas. It was always Cas, wasn’t it? It was Cas who raised him from Hell, it was Cas who ultimately fought his own kind to protect Dean and Sam, it was Cas who always knew that Winchesters needed him. That Dean needed him.
And now, in a few splashes of red and blue, Cas was gone. For the first few minutes, Dean didn’t even register that there were no colors at all, only a dull monochrome palette that couldn’t even compare with what was his vision before. No, there were no colors at all. Losing Cas made it dark grey all alone, and Dean was far too bothered to register it while blinking his tears out.
Anyway, it was probably morning now. He's not sure how many hours he spent crying like everything his father despised in men, but he felt that a night was surely spent there.
Sam called. Many times. He should probably answer, but his grief doesn't allow him to, consuming all of his conscience.
But Dean couldn’t care less — his face was hidden in his hands and his ass was slowly freezing on a concrete floor which will surely affect his health later but at the moment it didn’t really matter.
Dean thought there could be nothing worse than seeing the world in faded, ash-like colors. He was oh-so-wrong because his world now was all about monochrome: his shirt was dark grey with a black handprint on his left shoulder. The walls and the floor in the bunker were grey, and even the sky was grey.
Jack was grey, and so was Sam — there was no sight of his favorite faded down green on his jacket and no sand-like yellow of the beer at the first abandoned gas station they arrived at.
Without Cas, it was all about greys, and Dean hated it. This time, there was nothing left of Castiel — not a trenchcoat to keep, not a body to burn. Nothing at all — not even a sky to be the same color as his eyes. And God, he misses him already. Somehow, he knows there's no actual way to bring Castiel back — not with what they've got on their hands now. Missing Cas makes everything go grey, if not black.
And when Dean dies, he sees the pain of loss in Sam's eyes, but he can't recall their color. He feels at peace with himself — the hunter knows that wherever his soul makes after death, it will be taken care of. With Jack as God, he can only hope that his mistakes didn't make the new God a bad kid.
***
Meeting Cas in Heaven was like a burst of all the colors that existed in the universe. Dean loves it. He loves every single piece of his surroundings for two reasons: first being Cas and their son, aka God now, creating a better Heaven than he remembers, and second being him finally meeting Cas: shirtless, with his two pairs of wings on the loose and one pair hiding behind his back. Dean never thought he’ll ever see Castiel’s wings for real, but it’s Heaven, so these wings might as well be as brightly iridescent as the universe allows.
And it turns out, angels really do feel. At least, the ones that rebelled and fought for their humans, the ones that gripped them tight, and the ones that had a profound bond with them. These angels got to see colors.
And that’s when Dean Winchester sees the blue of Castiel’s eyes for the second time in his existence (technically, you can’t call it a life, but what kind of importance does the terminology hold in Heaven anyway?). It wasn’t the sad blue he remembers from losing him — no. It was a perfect blue shade that looked ever so optimistic and bright like the sky. He also saw a bit of red creeping up the angel’s cheeks — was he that happy to see Dean?
The older Winchester always knew what it means to see the colors. It means you not only found your soulmate, but you both acknowledge it. And this time, Dean thinks that eventually, good things do happen.