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Lily Evans, of Gryffindor house, was happy to say that she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, thank you very much.
No matter that her four best friends had tried- repeatedly- to get her to go to Madame Pomfrey for some pepperup potion, she had a transfiguration essay to complete and a potions textbook to read. McGonnagal wouldn’t cut her any slack and Slughorn would be sorely disappointed if his prize student didn’t produce a perfect brew to turn in.
So she’d stubbornly and proudly refused the help of her friends and any magical cure and insisted on riding out her persistent cold. Of course, it ended up blowing up in her face.
Quite literally.
One minute she was stirring her draught of peace, and the next her lungs seized in a coughing fit strong enough to make her eyes water. Her hand slipped, knocking the syrup of hellebore in before she had completed stirring, and before she could react, the whole thing exploded with a bang.
Lily’s eyes pricked dangerously and she knew from the heat stealing up her neck that her face was now as red as her hair. She briefly contemplated taking some of the ruined potion to end her misery, but instead she settled on a low groan and tried to arrange her hair to hide her flaming face.
Suddenly, a hand settled on her shoulder, making her jump. Lily’s eyes narrowed and she prepared to unleash their potency on Mary or Dorcas, sure they were going to scold her for not getting help earlier, but when her green eyes met speckled hazel ones, all her fury melted away instantly.
“Evans? You alright?” James asked when she didn’t immediately answer, too shocked by his proximity and the golden flecks in his eyes. Which were quite lovely from her vantage point. “Lily?”
It suddenly felt even harder to breathe.
“B-brilliant. I’m just brilliant,” she finally stuttered out, her voice more breathy than she cared to admit.
“You really don’t look good. C’mon. I’m taking you to Madame Pomfrey.”
Lily couldn’t argue if she wanted to, especially not when Slughorn came over, fussing and worrying and making her want to disappear even more.
James shot her a smile like he knew exactly how much she liked the attention, making her stomach curl. She quickly looked away so he couldn’t see. She’d been able to keep her growing feelings for him hidden for the last four months, and she wasn’t going to let something as simple as a cold ruin that. He hadn’t indicated in nearly a year that he wanted more than friendship, and she couldn’t ruin the friendship they had finally developed.
“Thank you,” she said softly as they exited the classroom.
“For what?” His voice held the hint of a smile.
“For coming with me. I’m sorry to keep you from finishing your potion.”
He shrugged. “It’s not a problem. Old Sluggy loves the both of us. I’m sure he’ll let us make it up when you’re not a hazard to everyone’s health.”
Lily shook her head to hide the smile she felt tugging at her lips. “But where would the fun in that be?”
“Where indeed.”
They grinned at each other and continued to walk in companionable silence to the hospital wing.
“You’re very lucky, Ms. Evans,” Madame Pomfrey said, making her way over to the bed Lily had been made to lie on. “This is the last of the pepperup potion. Professor Slughorn was supposed to make more, but was too busy with Slug Club party preparations.” She handed the vial to Lily, then directed her steely-eyed gaze to James with a firm “See that she drinks it all” before heading back to her office muttering about Professor Slughorn and parties and misplaced priorities.
As soon as the nurse was safely out of ear shot, both students dissolved into laughter, which ended as quickly as it began when Lily’s lungs once again revolted.
“Merlin, Evans!” James said, gently rubbing her back until she could breathe again. “Right. No making you laugh, then.”
“Well, considering that you’re not actually that funny, James, I don’t think that will be a problem.”
He rolled his eyes. “Drink that pepperup potion before Pomfrey has my head.”
Lily did and after a few minutes Madame Pomfrey came out to collect the glassware and allow Lily to leave.
“Straight to bed, understand? Pepperup works wonders, but you need rest ,” the nurse said before allowing them to go.
However, instead of heading to the Gryffindor common room after exiting the hospital wing, Lily started for the library.
“Oi! Where do you think you’re going?”
“To the library, James.”
“What about the word rest did you not understand?”
Lilly huffed indignantly. “I have a transfiguration essay to finish. I’m meeting Dorcas to look over each other’s essays, and-”
“And Dorcas will understand. If I know Doe, she’ll probably be relieved that you are finally taking care of yourself.” He wagged a finger at her. “Don’t think I didn’t see how worried the whole lot of your mates were at breakfast this morning.”
She pushed his finger away, annoyance flaring up in her chest, made worse by her treacherously aching body that wanted nothing but to return to her bed. But she couldn’t. School didn’t wait for anyone. “James, I don’t need to be coddled.”
“Let me stop you right there. When you're sick, it’s not coddling to take a break and get better. I’m willing to bet you already have that essay done. Doe can look over it without your being there. I’ll have Remus take it to her and he can look over hers.” When she began to protest again, he let out a sigh. “Alright. If you can look me in the eye and honestly tell me that you’d be able to do decent work in this state, I won’t say another word.”
Lily set her shoulders and met his challenging gaze with a glare of her own.
In her defense, she really did try.
She really did try to ignore the beautiful brown and green and gold flecks in his irises, and the way his challenge made him look more fit than anyone had a right to be. She really did try to keep her heart from racing. She really did try to muster up the strength to tell him confidently that she was just fine to write her essay. She failed miserably in each regard.
As soon as green met hazel, she found she couldn’t hold the ire any more than she had been able to in the potions classroom, and watched as James' eyes melted in time with her own. Her stomach flipped as his gaze flitted down to her lips before darting back up to look at her face again.
“Lily,” he whispered, phrasing it like a question. A question she couldn’t answer yet. She looked away from the feather soft look in his eyes, searching for something- anything- to take her mind off what had just happened.
“You’re right,” she said, sucking in a ragged breath. “I can’t do much in this state. I think I’ll head to bed.”
He nodded, and they traipsed the staircase in silence once again, the silence a tad more awkward than before. However, much to Lily’s pleasure, by the time they reached their head of house dorm, the awkwardness had dissipated. James flopped down on the couch, opening his arm in an invitation too inviting to refuse, especially with how utterly horrible she felt.
(It had nothing to do with the fact that she fancied him. None at all!)
Presently, she sighed happily, snuggling into James’ side. Practice allowed her to do so without embarrassment. Since they’d called a truce mid sixth year, she’d found herself on the receiving end of many an arm thrown around her shoulder or friendly pat on the back. Eventually, that had escalated to finding herself employed as a pillow and then doing the same to him.
So she snuggled in, closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep.
“James.”
His name was a whisper, but it still managed to cause his stomach to do a little summersault.
You’re supposed to be getting over her, you dolt he thought, chastising himself, though he knew it was no good. No matter how hard he tried, Lily Evans would always make his heart race and his stomach flip. He schooled his voice into a casual tone and situated carefully practiced grin onto his face.
“Yes, sleepy head?”
But the only answer he got was a shift in bodies until Lily was- impossibly- closer to him. She was still sleeping.
James' brain struggled to catch up.
She was dreaming about him? Talking to him in her sleep? He knew he’d said her name in his sleep many times, much to his mates’ delight if their constant teasing about it was any indication. But there was no way that Lily would be dreaming of him like that .
Was there?
He silently cursed and beat back his over-excited heart. He’d been burned too many times before; he couldn’t go down that road. They were mates now, and there was nothing- absolutely nothing- that James would do to put that in jeopardy. And he especially wouldn’t do something idiotic like ask her out again. Not when he knew she didn’t feel the same about him.
Did she?
James shook his head, trying to keep the hope from spreading too deep into his heart. Unfortunately, this elicited a small sound from Lily.
Nice one, James.
She shifted, her face scrunching adorably in the wake of her coming back to consciousness, and then stretched. She was looking quite a sight better than she had before (though James would be lying if he said he thought her anything but beautiful).
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he murmured. “You feeling better?”
“Loads, thank you,” she said, sighing happily. She turned to look at him, smiling softly, and he momentarily forgot how to breathe. “You make a very comfortable pillow.”
Not the same, not the same he thought desperately. But, try as he might, he couldn’t forget that soft James. Especially not with the smile lighting up her face and the way she looked into his eyes, like he was her best friend. Grasping desperately for some control, he finally found his voice, though it was just a whisper. “Lily, please. You can’t...look at me like that.”
“What?” The question sounded like it had been punched out of her.
“I can’t-” James paused to drag his hand through his hair. This wasn’t the moment he’d imagined doing this, but he was left with no choice. Not if he wanted to keep some of his sanity. “Look, I’m going to say this once and then never say another thing about it again. But, well, I’m trying to let go of my feelings. For you, that is. And it’s incredibly difficult when you look at me like you’ve been looking at me today. All soft and warm and like I’m one of your favorite people when I know it doesn’t mean the same thing for you as it does for me.”
Her eyes widened, and James’ stomach flipped again, though not in a pleasant way. It wasn’t the flip of excitement, of sneaking out with his best friends or an electrifying win in Quidditch. No, this was the feeling of falling in the dark with nothing to grab a hold of and no promise of a soft landing.
Now she knew. Now she knew, and he braced himself for another blow.
“James,” she whispered, sounding just as she had when she’d said it in her sleep. He had to look to be sure she was awake. “It does mean the same thing.”
It was his turn to sound like he’d been punched in the gut. “What?”
A slow smile stole across her face, and she shifted closer to him, moving her hands to cradle his face. He stayed absolutely still, feeling like he had fallen asleep and didn’t want this dream to end. “It does mean the same to me. I’ve, I’ve been fighting my feelings for you because I thought you were...that you didn’t feel that way about me anymore. But I look at you like that because that’s exactly how I feel. You are my favorite person, only don’t tell Mary.”
She grinned at him, and suddenly James wasn’t falling, but soaring.
“Lily, if you don’t stop me, I’m going to kiss you.”
She answered by kissing him first.