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“Mom, who were my biological parents?”
When Olivia heard those words, she felt her blood run cold. She placed down the knife she was holding, next to the half-cut carrot and looked up at Noah. Part of her still needed a reminder that her once little boy had grown into a young man, now seventeen. He was doing his schoolwork on the dining table while he waited for dinner.
“I mean, I know Sheila was a blood relative, but she’s my grandma and I haven’t spoken to her in ages.”
When Noah last asked about Sheila, he was thirteen. And the story came tumbling out. How he was adopted, how he came to Olivia during her darkest time, how he saved her, how he was kidnapped by his biological grandmother. But there were fractions that were kept secret, and she promised him that she would tell him the full truth one day, just like she did several years earlier.
Fortunately enough, she’d managed to avoid the “Where’s his dad?” questions for a lot of Noah’s life. She could avoid it with a simple “He’s dead.” , the truth. It often stayed any other questions prying acquaintances might’ve had.
Olivia walked around the counter to join him at the table. She took his hand and squeezed it tight. Noah pulled a confused face. “You said you would tell me when I’m old enough. I’m seventeen.”
“I know, baby.” And no matter how old he got, Olivia would never give up the nicknames. “Are you sure you want to know? Because once I tell you, I can’t take it back.”
Noah hesitated for a moment, and Olivia almost hoped that he would drop it and never ask again. But he’d always been such a curious kid growing up, she knew he wouldn’t. “I’m sure.”
“Well.” Olivia breathed in deeply, getting her facts straight. “Remember how I told you how I found you on a case?” Noah nodded. “The case we were working, we were tracking child pornographers. We later learnt that you had been sold to them by your mother’s pimp without her permission. I actually arrested her, that’s how we found out you were hers when we ran her DNA.”
“What happened to her?” Noah’s voice was meek, Olivia was starting to regret telling him. She couldn’t stop now.
“Her name was Ellie, and was a prostitute. She started when she was young, after she ran away from home. She was murdered.” There was a hint of sadness to Olivia’s tone that Noah picked up on. “And she loved you, very, very much.”
“And my dad?” Noah asked. “Is he actually dead?”
“Yes, he is.” She decided against telling him that her old partner shot him. “He was being tried, and he grabbed one of the court officer’s guns, shot up the place, and then was killed. But you have to know…” Olivia trailed off, searching for words. “He did love you, Noah. But he wasn’t a good man. He was a sex trafficker.”
“What?”
Olivia winced. The same word she’d said to her mother when she found out about her father. Although that was a much less... empathetic encounter.
“He was a rapist.” Noah concluded, pulling his hand from Olivia’s and lacing his fingers together. Olivia felt guilt and sympathy surge through her, overwhelming her.
“He was, and I know what you are thinking.” Olivia said softly, expecting him to talk back, but he didn’t. “Just because your biological father was a bad person, doesn’t mean that you are. You’re kind, and smart, and you have the biggest heart of anyone, and you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You are more than your genes.”
“How do you know?” He asked, his bottom lip trembling.
“You know when you asked why we never had a big family, like your friends?” Noah nodded, wiping a stray tear. That conversation was a long time ago, Olivia was surprised he remembered having it. Olivia placed her hand on his shoulder. She wished she didn’t have to do this, Noah didn’t deserve it. “You know that both my parents are dead, long before you were born. But I never actually knew my father.”
“Why?” Noah squinted his eyes.
“Because he raped my mother.” Olivia revealed. Noah’s mouth opens ever-so-slightly, like he was about to say something, then shut it. “So I got this one. And if you ever want to talk, either to me or a professional, then just say the word.”
Noah pressed his lips into a tight line, and his shoulders progressively became more hunched, until he finally broke down into tears. Olivia pulled him into her arms, holding him tighter than she’d ever held him.
“I didn’t want to tell you sooner because I didn’t want you growing up with the same worries I had.” Olivia explained, rubbing circles on her son’s back. She sighed discreetly, as he nuzzled further into her embrace. “I know it seems complicated, but I promise, my sweet boy, it will get better.”