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Sun’s tail was a warm weight around her hip through the cool desert. Ruby was exhausted. She was angry. She was wondering how soon she was going to end up like her mother.
“Hey,” Sun began, but the look she turned on him made his mouth close abruptly. Ruby couldn’t bring herself to care. Or, more accurately, she did care - but the guilt of her reaction towards him churned with the rest of her grief. What was one more thing to regret? She curled her arms more tightly around her knees and closed her eyes.
Sun’s tail tightened around her, and his arms draped across her shoulders a moment later. “You don’t have to shut me out,” Sun said softly.
Ruby turned her face away from him to study the ground beside her.
“No, really,” Sun insisted. His side pressed into hers and she couldn’t help leaning into the pressure even as she curled up even tighter. “You know me, Ruby. I’m not going anywhere. Even if you try.” His tone turned melancholy, and Ruby knew Sun was thinking about Blake. About Team SSSN. His promises to follow, rather than stay.
“Maybe you should stop trying,” Ruby muttered against her knees. She knew it wasn’t a kind thing to say. She said it anyway.
“Maybe I should,” Sun agreed. But he still squeezed his arm once around her, and didn’t pull away.
“I don’t get it,” Ruby said, and ignored the waver in her voice. “I don’t understand how - how I’m just supposed to go on.” She buried her head completely in her knees then. She soaked up the smell of the sweat through her clothes, the scent of Grimm that clung to her and Sun, the heat of the desert and sand. She was hot-cold in her Vale outfit. She wasn’t sure if the chill was in her bones from everything or from the cool night around them. She felt Sun’s head dipped to his chest as he did when he was thinking, a sigh leaving his throat.
She hated that she felt so comfortable with him. She was tired of finding solace and welcome and then losing it. She didn’t trust this moment of respite, because the minute she took her chance, she would lose it.
She couldn’t lose him.
“Ruby,” Sun began, paused, and continued. “Do you know what I’ve been doing here, while you were lost?”
Ruby shook her head.
“We were preparing,” he told her. His voice was as soft as the touch of his fingers running up and down her arm. Her eyes closed against her will as his presence soaked up the chill in her bones, as his voice lulled her into a sense of peace. “We knew that you would come back - that all of Team RNJR and RWBY would come back, with Oscar in tow.” He paused to let her speak, but she only shrugged. “We wanted to have a good place for you to come back to.”
“You wanted to have a good place for us to come back to,” Ruby spat. Her fingers dug into the holes in her tights and the rip of seams did nothing to ease her mess of feelings. Sun shrugged next to her.
“Maybe so,” he replied. “But the rest of Team SSSN agreed, and these people needed help. They needed homes. We could do that.”
Ruby grunted, which caused Sun to laugh. “You’re cute when you’re annoyed.”
“I’m not annoyed,” Ruby growled. “I’m angry.”
Sun’s fingers paused on her arm and she could feel his head nod slowly. “You’re right, I’m sorry. That was dismissive.”
Ruby blinked back hot tears and didn’t reply.
“Team SSSN and I have been working on our communication,” Sun continued. “Making sure that I am actually leading instead of running around and expecting them to follow, trying to be a logistician….” He leaned around to catch her eye. “Ruby, I’m a terrible logistician.”
Ruby laughed against her will. It was clogged with snot and unspoken feelings.
“See!” Sun exclaimed, squeezing his arm tighter around her so he could motion without knocking her over. “Even you know, and you aren’t even on our team!”
“We are partners,” Ruby pointed out, turning her face towards him and opening her eyes.
Sun smiled at her and Ruby wished that he had been with them in Vale. She would never have felt cold with him by her side. “We are,” he said with a firm nod. He continued rubbing her arm thoughtfully, and she let her shoulders fall away from her ears, though she didn’t uncurl her legs.
“Sage started a wrestling ring,” Sun announced suddenly. Ruby looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“This surprises you?”
Sun sighed past his smile and rubbed the back of his head. “I mean, I guess it shouldn’t have? Especially since it morphed into a strength contest against himself.”
“Lemme guess. How many animals could he carry in his arms at a time?”
“How many children,” Sun corrected, “but yes. Close enough.”
Ruby croaked a laugh and rubbed at her eyes. “I would have thought Scarlet’s eyes would be more enthralling.”
Sun shrugged. “He started a fortune-telling business.”
Ruby stared at Sun. “But - he doesn’t -”
Sun grinned. “I know!”
Ruby broke out into helpless laughter. It wasn’t even that funny, but the laughs kept coming, and then a sob ripped out of her throat. She pressed a hand over her mouth but the damage was done. Sun said, “Oh, Ruby,” and her face was tucked into his chest as her shoulders heaved.
“Shhhh,” Sun soothed, “there there.”
She hiccupped a laugh. It sounded awful. “You sound like you’re talking to a baby.”
“We are all babies sometimes,” Sun said wisely.
Ruby’s brow furrowed and she huffed against his skin. “Sun, that means absolutely nothing.”
“Sure it does!” he argued cheerfully. “It means you’re never too old to cry, and get rocked, and told to shhhh, shhhh.”
Ruby giggled weakly, and it morphed into another sob. Her whole body shook. Even as she tried to be quiet, her quick and quiet breaths morphed into high noises like that of a feral animal. It was the best she’d felt in a long, long time.
Sun should have been giving his unconditional compassion to anyone else in camp. Instead, he was giving it to her.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured to Sun, then repeated to those around her, to everyone she’d ever failed, to the history she was trying so desperately to heal. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Sun’s head bent to rest lightly in her hair, his steady breath rustling her hair. By the time Ruby was done cleansing a year and a half of repressed grief, Sun was a complete mess of tears and snot. Ruby gave a mighty sniff, then sneezed into her elbow.
“Gross,” they said at the same time, then laughed together.
“Feeling better?” Sun asked. His eyes were full of warmth and their version of love.
Ruby sniffed and rubbed her eyes again. “Yeah,” she croaked. She swayed slightly with the motion and fell forwards onto his shoulder. Sun’s resulting laugh was a low hum that promised he was about to do something immensely kind and a little stupid.
“Let’s get you to bed,” he said, then lifted her. “Oof!” he groaned dramatically, “You’ve gotten heavy.”
Ruby smacked him on the back, kicking her legs but making no real effort to get down. “It’s your fault for not noticing all my muscles!” she scolded, “I can’t help you not noticing what’s right in front of you.” She could feel him tense then relax and winced.
“I’m working on that,” he said. He guided them through the remnants of the refugee camp with old familiarity.
“I know you are,” she said softly, “and you’re doing great. I can tell.”
Sun only hummed in response and she settled easily into his arms. She only realized her eyes were closed when they stopped moving and she wanted to look around. “We’re here,” he announced unnecessarily. She didn’t point that out though, only slipped out of his arms and thumped onto the floor.
“Thanks, Sun,” she said, meaning more than just the walk back. His crooked smile told her he got the message.
“Anytime, strawberry,” he said, then flushed. “Can I still call you that?”
“Of course!” Ruby said in surprise. She took his hands in hers. “Sun, I’ll always be your Strawberry,” she grinned, “no matter how hard you try.”
Sun stared down at her, then wrapped her in a hug. His semi-dry chest pressed into her face and she groaned dramatically. “Sun!” she protested as she hit her hands against his back. He laughed where his head was buried in her shoulder.
“I missed you, Ruby,” he murmured. His arms tightened around her and she wrapped her own around him, sighing into his embrace. They stood there like that for a time, both soaking in the other’s presence.
It felt safe. It also felt impermanent, and that was okay.
“I love you,” Sun said as he pulled away. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and let his hand linger on her cheek. She leaned into the contact and blinked slowly, feeling a smile curl over her lips.
“Love you too,” she whispered. She was afraid to say it anymore loudly lest they attract some cosmic force of the universe to look in their direction. At this point, that felt more like a guarantee, but why ask for trouble?
Sun hesitated, then nodded to himself. “You know where to find me,” he said, backing away towards the entrance of the tent.
Ruby wrapped her arms around herself and nodded.
Sun paused, rushed over for another hug, then left in a hurry. “Sleep well, Strawberry!”
Ruby giggled and sat on the bed to take her shoes off and settle in for bed. “Goodnight, Banana,” she murmured and fell asleep more quickly than she had in months.