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Thomas jumps off his training broomstick before it even lands properly on the ground and grabs Nagini from the basket hanging on the front. Tito Ron and Tita Hermione's apartment has its own security guard. He knows the half-giant man well enough that he'll stop anyone from stealing his broomstick. Hopefully. His mama gave him the Nimbus Junior 3000 for being a good kid in school.
Mama... He chokes back the panic in his throat.
He runs up the three flights of stairs today. What he has to say is far too important to take the lift and stand there suffering in silence. When he reaches the third floor with the heavy burden in his seven-year-old heart, he’s never been more relieved that the Weasley-Grangers ward their home to only allow family and close friends, so Thomas can just open the door and run inside.
His bestfriend, Rose, is the first person he sees when he bursts in. She's sitting on the sofa in a fancy party dress... which is weird. Rose never liked pretty things. She likes overalls and mud and science and splitting an ice cream candy with Thomas. Even her baby brother Hugo is dressed nice, babbling on his little rocker.
But anyway, Thomas has more important things on his mind than a purple dress.
She spots him and gasps, "Mom! Dad! Thomas is here!" Then, in a lower voice: "Not a word about my dress."
"I wasn't gonna say anything."
"Thomas?!"
Tito Ron's bright carrot top pokes out from just around the corner, "Uh- ...oh Merlin, what's he doing here... Just a second!" He hears hushed rustling like paper being shoved around and then both he and Tita Hermione come out to greet him. They're also dressed nicely. He guesses they were all about to go out soon.
"Jeez, what are you doing here, kid? Aren't you supposed to be at home?" He asks impatiently.
Tita Hermione nudges him on the arm, "What he means, Thomas, is that aren't you supposed to be with your mummy and daddy? It's your birthday today."
"Tito... Tita... something bad just-" Thomas hiccups, clutching Nagini tighter. The python in his arms simply accepts it.
Seeing his behaviour, the adults' mood changes. They usher him to take a seat on the living room sofa, and Rose hurries away to get him a glass of juice.
Tita Hermione sits beside him and begins to rub gentle circles on his back, "Okay... could you tell us what happened, Thomas?"
Thomas accepts the juice Rose hands him. He gulps it all down and starts recounting his terrible, horrible, no good, very bad morning.
Today is Thomas' seventh birthday. His parents have been gone all morning. After breakfast, the house elves told him to stay in his room. Hrmph!
"It's like they forgot about me today, Nagini," Thomas pouts from where he's lying down on his bedroom floor, staring up at the ceiling.
The large green snake is resting across his torso, hissing quietly in response as always. He can't even go downstairs to watch stuff on Wizflix. He's bored, bored, bored.
"Wanna go outside, Nagini?" He puts a hand to stroke her pudgy, scaly length. "Hehe, the house elves don't know this, but I've got a secret way to sneak out." She raises her serpentine head and flicks her tongue. "I'll take that as a yes!"
He grabs his training broomstick from the closet and grins, "I've been practicing a lot. I can fly just high enough to get from here to the garden without anyone noticing me."
Nagini slithers onto his shoulders and wraps herself around his body just enough to hold on. Good thing she did, because Thomas' wobbly flying had them crashing awkwardly into the bushes below his window.
"Oof!" Thankfully, he only messed his clothes up a little at the landing. "Sorry, Nagini."
He sits up, brushes off the twigs and leaves on his person, and starts crawling out. He parts the bushes then stops in his tracks.
Whoa, there's all sorts of fun things in the garden today! There's a table full of yummy food and snacks, game booths, a little animal petting zoo, and the decorations - they're all Spider-Man themed!
A man stands up from where he's crouched behind a fun photobooth, and Thomas feels his heart jump to his throat. It's Spider-Man! In real life, with his entire super cool suit and mask! But he isn't as tall as Thomas had thought and he’s kinda... soft-looking, just like mama.
The sliding door to the house opens and out comes - father! He takes a look around the set-up in the garden and says, "Looking good. It's almost time until they all arrive."
He knows Spider-Man? He's always told by the other kids in school that his father is very important in the Wizarding World. Maybe his parents invited Spider-Man to wish him a happy birthday! There were stars shining in his eyes, he was already feeling giddily excited to talk to him.
"Just about finished here, too. Did you get what he wanted from his wish list?" Spider-Man asks father.
He nods, rolling up the sleeves on his white button-down dress shirt. "The muggle world has sure changed. They used to worship gods. Now they battle in tiny stores for expensive toys and worship these things like statues of deities. Did you know there's a Spider-Man toy that costs near three hundred pounds? It was encased in a locked glass cabinet as if it's the Crown Jewels itself."
"God, which toy store did you go to-"
"Back in my day, a hundred quid in 1938 is worth over six thousand today," he continues. Thomas is already feeling bored hearing another one of his dad's money rants. He'll scare Spider-Man away! "The fortune these muggle companies are making is disgusting."
Spider-Man giggles, "'Back in your day'? Should I get you a walking cane, lolo?"
Father sighs, opens his arms, and Spider-Man steps into his space and hugs him. Wow, they must be good friends!
His dad whispers something that Thomas can’t hear and then father places a finger under Spider-Man's chin to tilt his head up to look him in the eyes. His finger lifts the mask just high enough to show Spider-Man's lips.
Father leans down closer to Spider-Man, closes his eyes, and... he kisses Spider-Man on the mouth!!!
Thomas slaps a hand over his own mouth, eyes wobbling wide in shock at the sight. He scurries backward and hides further into the bushes until he can't see their garden anymore.
No... no! He loves Spider-Man, but he loves his mama more. Thomas can’t let Spider-Man take his father from mama! How could his dad do this? Mama is the nicest and most prettiest and most fun and most amazing in the world and and...
"-and then I ran away with Nagini after seeing father kiss someone who isn't mama!" Thomas felt so outraged for his mother, he's panting in exertion by the time he finishes telling his story.
At the end of his tale, Tita's hand on his back goes still and both adults' eyes went wide as saucers. They're too quiet for Thomas' liking. They're mama's closest friends, why aren't they also feeling angry with him? He and Rose share the same frustration when Tita Ginny loses a quidditch match in the Holyhead Harpies.
Tito Ron is the first to recover, laughing like he didn't believe him, "Riddle? Really? Are you sure, kid?"
"I'm very sure!"
"Er..." He scratches his head and takes a seat on the chair opposite him, "This bloke you say your dad was snog- uh, kissing, do you know who he is?"
"Uh-huh, I have a picture," Thomas says, removing his rucksack from his back.
He digs around his prized possessions and pulls out his Spider-Man comic, shoving his finger hatefully at Peter Parker's happy face on the front cover.
"It's him," he hisses. "Father kissed Spider-Man."
Tito Ron blanches, "Spider?"
"Calm down, Ron. It's just the name of a fictional muggle superhero. You know, the ones Rose and Hugo like these days." Tita Hermione takes the comic from Thomas' hands and scrunches her eyebrows at the man he was pointing to.
"But why would you lot have a spider as a superhero?" He shudders. "That sounds dreadful. Muggles don't know spiders as I do... why can't you have normal superheroes like Auror Man or Captain Chudley..."
"Anyway, Thomas," She turns back to him, holding out his comic. "Are you one hundred percent sure you saw your father kiss this person?" Thomas nods twice. "And I assume you didn't see your mum anywhere before you left the house?"
"Yes! I couldn't find mama, otherwise, I'll also steal him with me and run away. I'll always protect mama from the bad guys, even from father. I'll be everything mama needs. Only me."
Tito Ron snorted, muttering something like "Like father, like son" and Tita Hermione sighs, ruffling Thomas' hair, "That's enough. Let's halt those thoughts about running and monopolising Harry for now." An amused smile makes its way to her face. "I have a pretty strong guess on what happened. You kids stay here and we'll be right back."
She grabs her husband by the arm and he looks confused, "Wait, what are we doing?"
"Just follow me, Ronald."
The two of them disappear into their bedroom, and Thomas faintly hears the familiar flare of a floo call. Then, muffled conversation.
Rose's arms were crossed over her chest, "There's no way your dad kissed Spider-Man."
"I'm not lying, Rose! Ugh, weren't you listening to my story? I saw what I saw. He had his full suit on and everything."
"But..." She frowns, biting her lip, "Isn't Spider-Man with Mary Jane? Why would Minister Riddle do that? And he's married to your mum."
"I don't know either," he mutters. Nagini had settled on his shoulders at this point, watching everything with something like amusement. But that can't be, Thomas thinks. She's just a snake.
He continues irritably, "Whatever it is, I know it's not mama's fault. Mama is too pretty and too cool, he's the best."
"I heard a word for that on the telly. You know, people who steal other people's husbands or wives."
"What is it?"
Rose looks around first. She covers her little brother's ears and whispers the word: "Homewrecker."
Homewrecker. He lets the new word settle in. Yes, it does sound perfect. Spider-Man is wrecking Thomas' home, making his father kiss not-Harry. In his home, there is only his dad, mama, and Thomas. That's how it should be.
She pats some invisible dust off her skirt, "You didn't hear that word from me, okay?"
Thomas tilts his head, "Why are you dressed like that?"
"You said you weren't gonna say anything!" Rose hrmphs, "If you must know, the dress is your fault."
"Huh? Why is it my fault?"
"It's because we're going to your surpr-"
"Ahem!" Rose's dad clears his throat, cutting off their conversation. Thomas and Rose look up to see him standing with them again. He gives his daughter a silent pointed look.
Tita Hermione is smiling when she joins her husband, a colourfully wrapped paper bag in one of her hands. "Come on, kids. Let's go."
"Where are we going?" Thomas asks.
Tito Ron picks up Hugo from the baby rocker and cradles him in his arms, "We're all going to floo to your home."
"No!" He protests, "I don't want to see father! He betrayed mama! I hate him and I hate Spider-Man!"
He flaps his hand at him, "It's not what you think, kid. It's better your parents explain instead of us, or we'll ruin the plans."
Thomas peers up through his lashes and gives Tito and Tita the saddest look he has, the one that always makes the house elves want to give him extra sweets after dinner. The one that gets teachers at his school to allow him to go home during lunch break just to see mama for an hour.
"I really don't want to go, po."
Tita Hermione insists, "Think of it this way... your mum might be home. Didn't you say you wanted to, uh, run away with Harry?"
His play-acting immediately switched to one of determination. He squeezes his hands into little fists. Rose's dad mumbles "Like father, like son. Gives me goosebumps..." again.
"Okay. But only for mama."
They all step towards the Weasley-Grangers' main floo network in the living room.
Rose's mum grabs a fistful of green powder by the fireplace, "Children, don't forget to keep your elbows tucked in, close your eyes, try not to fidget, and don't panic. All good? Great, let's go. Riddle-Potter House!"
He feels the same old heat and tug transporting them home. He opens his eyes and coughs, the smell and dust from soot tinging his nose. Tita Hermione casts a scourgify to vanish away all the black soot from their clothes and faces.
No sooner did they step out of the floo network, party poppers went off and he sees a colourful burst of balloons, confetti, and streamers.
"Happy birthday, Thomas!"
Greeting him with a loud and joyous happy birthday were his closest family members, several of his best schoolmates, his parents' work friends... and even father and Spider-Man!
Thomas glares at the superhero. The man obliviously continues to wave at him and shake his arms around. He hates him! Rose smacks him on his back, temporarily startling him out of his thoughts.
She smiles her big toothy smile, "Happy birthday! Mum put me in this dress for your parents' surprise party. But ugh next time, tell your mum and dad I can come in just a shirt and shorts. It's too stuffy. Also, this is for you!" She hands over the bright paper bag her mum was holding, and whispers, "Get your mum, I'll steal food for you both and hide it inside my dress."
"Thanks..." Thomas says quietly.
Tita Hermione walks over to Spider-Man with a grin. She says something quietly to his ears, laughs, and then takes her kids out to the garden.
Spider-Man leans down so they're almost eye-level and wishes him, "Happy birthday, Thomas! Your parents told me you're a big fan, so I came down here myself to celebrate your seventh birthday with you." He doesn't reply and the superhero goes, "Aw, you're that surprised huh? This is my present from me to you~" He gives him a nicely wrapped box with a big red bow.
Thomas unwraps the present, finding an Iron Spider-Man action figure inside. It's the very same one he wanted, with the cool spider legs on the back that Iron Man built for Peter's suit, just like in the movies. But... he shakes his head, placing the toy back into the box.
"What's wrong, Thomas?" Spider-Man asks, "You don't like it?"
"No... I don't like it anymore... and I don't like you anymore! Father! I am taking mama and we are running away," he starts. "I am packing our bags and going out to explore the world together." He hugs Nagini, "Um, Nagini can come, too, because I don't like rats..."
His father blinks, "Thomas, what is the meaning of this?"
"I saw you, father. I saw you kissing someone else that isn't mama! You betrayed him!"
A heartbeat of shocked silence - then, Tito Ron coughs and starts gesturing for the statue-still guests to move to the garden. "Alright move along, nothing to see here folks."
But his father raises a hand to stop them.
"Nobody leaves," he stares at his son. "I feel that there has been a terrible misunderstanding. One that has placed silly notions into my heir's head. He will explain who has lied to him..." He steps forward, eyes looking red for a brief second in the weird light, and Thomas almost shrinks back. "Or I will take it from him. Look at me-"
"Stop, let's calm down here!" Spider-Man yells and leaps forward, inserting himself between Thomas and his dad, whose face is still quite angry. The superhero, or in Thomas' eyes, villain, quickly whispers to father, "Don't use legilimency on your child!"
"You!" Thomas points at the... at the... "Homewrecker! Mama and father belong to each other. You're a superhero, you can't be mean and destroy our home!"
He hears gasps and whispers behind him. Spider-Man flinches. He also points at himself, "Me?"
"Who is that? What is that?" Several ask.
"I was wondering where Harry Potter went. Odd, don't you think?"
"Minister Riddle takes circus acrobats as lovers?" Another person mumbles.
Low laughter silences all the discussion. Everyone turns to look at his father who has started laughing, "I see, I see. And here I thought some fool was spreading baseless rumours and influenced my son."
"Anak, it's me!" Now that Thomas listens closely, mama's familiar voice... is coming out from behind the mask! "Susmaryosep, I thought 'mione was joking. Wait-" Spider-Man reaches up and pulls off the mask, revealing mama's tanned face. He's a bit flushed and his usually messy black hair is all pressed flat inside a funny fish net-looking thing. "See?"
"Mama!" Thomas drops Nagini, who slithers to the floor hissing in amusement. He runs towards his mum and automatically Harry bends down to scoop his son into his arms and hold him close.
All the other guests have already pieced two and two together, and laughter breaks out among the grown-ups. They shake their heads and make their way out into the garden for the actual birthday party.
"So Spider-Man is not real?" Thomas asks. "I thought he's Peter Parker..."
"No, of course, I am!" He says cheerfully, his bright voice a golden spear through the dark, uncomfortable feeling that was weighing down Thomas' heart since this morning, "Remember when we watched that movie with all those different Spideys from different worlds? Keep it a secret, buddy, but I'm also another Spider-Man." He winks.
Dad is the Minister of Magic, and now he finds out that his mother is actually their own multiverse Spider-Man? Thomas is over the moon. Rose will go crazy when she hears about this. "That's so cool, mama!"
His father sighs, "We are never dressing up for his birthday parties again."
"Wait, where did he learn about homewreckers?"
Harry finds Tom standing under a tree, just a bit further away from the party. He scoots over by his side and leans his head against his husband's shoulder, watching their blindfolded son try to swing a bat and break open the chubby Spider-Man-shaped piñata. The pureblood guests are understandably confused on the theme, while the muggleborn and halfblood families familiar with Marvel superheroes are having a great time. Thomas' friends cheer on and the merry laughter floats all the way to their corner of the garden.
Tom wraps his arm around Harry's waist, "What a farce. Accused by my own son, in front of several Wizengamot families."
"It's your own fault. You couldn't keep your hands off of me," Harry grins. "I was being taken advantage of by Minister Riddle! A married man, the scandal! Think we'll make it to the front page tomorrow?"
He squeezes his spouse's arm in warning, "Behave." Then, "You know I will never do what Thomas assumed I did. You are my soul. When we vowed our marriage, swearing that only death will do us part, I meant every word. There is no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with than you, my little thorn."
Harry hums and kisses Tom on the cheek, "I know. I trust you, always. Anyway, I'm parched. I'll get myself some pumpkin juice. Anything you want to drink, love?"
Tom looks at him for a long moment, his dark blue eyes unreadable. He lowers his hand for a self-indulgent squeeze at Harry's plump arse, "I want a milfshake."
Harry blushes and slaps him on the chest, "Tom!"