Chapter Text
Vanilla's Underground isn't the same Hell as some of his cousins. Noir and Lupin, and Red and Edge's homes were much, much worse in comparison. And don't get him started on Butch's and Sugar's nightmare. But, Vanilla can't help but to think, if their Underground's are truly Hell, then his must be Purgatory.
It's a Human concept, Purgatory. A place where souls stay stagnant and suffering until they are able to pass to the next realm. It's poetic but accurate in all of its wondrous and terrible connotations.
In his Underground, Monsters were stuck. Nowhere to go as they had expanded to the very edges of the barrier. People lived almost on top of each other. Farmlands were being encroached upon by the ever expanding sprawl. Any and all free land was either bought and kept by the Crown or was being snatched up by families looking for someplace to get away. Space was precious and limited, and every inch of land was literally worth it's weight in Gold.
In his Underground, there wasn't much hope even if all the Monsters carried on with a smile. It had been years since the last soul had been collected and even longer since War had been declared. Monsters tried their best to make due with what they were given, but most of them had never seen the sky before and most of those that had were dead or old. In the end, they all knew that Asgore was a coward and sad and tired, and it filtered through the whole community.
In his Underground, things stayed the same. Even not including the horrible resets, days blended together into a deluge of mind-numbing sameness. There was nowhere to go and scarcely anything to do. Routines happened out of the lack of variety.
See? Purgatory.
So when Vanilla did come to the surface it was like seeing those Pearly Gates he's heard humans talk about so much. It's a breath of fresh air (literally) and it feels almost like a weight has fallen off his shoulders. So the first thing Vanilla decided upon seeing the sky was to make a promise to himself: like a soul cleansed, he will make himself into a new person. He will do as many new things and as many different things as possible. He will never end up in that soul-crushing tedium ever again.
From then on, Vanilla made sure that each day was different. He tries new jobs, goes out of his way to meet new people, eats at different restaurants, hell! He even tries sports. The Aboveground is large, vast, and full of opportunities. And life passes by, not easier, but at least better.
Then you come into the picture
It was when Vanilla was trying some Thai food restaurant that was popular near his newest job. It's a small, hole-in-the-wall type place that only vaguely reminds him of Grillby's old joint. It's late, past the normal lunch rush, but still the place is packed, so the only empty seat he finds is next to a Human.
Like he had decided so long ago, he decides to take a chance. He approaches and asks, "do you mind if I sit here?"
The human- you- turns to look at him. You spare a glance at the packed restaurant, back to him, and then you move your bag and jacket off the chair. With a smile and a flourish you say, "go ahead!"
When the waiter approaches with a menu, he takes a second chance, turning to you and asking, "What do you recommend? I've never been here before."
"Have you had Thai before?" You respond easily enough, and when he tells you he hasn't, you quickly offer up some selections for him. The two of you end up ordering together, and when the food comes you both share half, so Vanilla can try both.
It's a wonderful time, almost like an impromptu date. You're funny and witty, passionate and kind, simple and kinda clumsy but in a cute and charming way. Vanilla decides instantly that he likes you. He wants to keep up with his promise and he hasn't had a serious relationship in… well, a very long time. He takes a risk and it pays off. You swap numbers and agree to meet up again.
He makes sure that he introduces himself as Sans.
Things progress nicely after that. You introduce him to new things in the human world and the two of you try new things together. It's always fun with you around and best of all his brother likes you too. It's great. You're great. It feels like walking onto the surface all over again.
And then suddenly time is going too fast. One day you've moved into the spare room. The next you're sleeping with him every night and his room is now "our" room. Then next thing he knows, you say you love him and he says "I love you" back. And then suddenly he's sitting on the couch every night with you under his arm and… he's panicking.
He's panicking because things are routine again. With you there is a schedule of getting up, going to work, coming home to dinner with his brother and then cuddling on the couch until the next day. What had happened to his lifestyle of trying new things? To never letting things become stagnant? To his promise to himself? What happened to that paradise he had and the new him he had created?
Perhaps that's why one day Vanilla finds himself making a split-second decision that changes everything.
It's late one afternoon and Vanilla had stayed after hours to finish up some paperwork at the lab. He had just clocked out, it was way past his normal dinnertime and he was at a crossroads as he checked the time. Deciding that it's late and he's hungry, Vanilla goes to a pub instead of heading home. It's not even on his way home, or in the general direction, but Vanilla doesn't even feel bad about the text he sends to you:
Sans(7:48): working later than normal. dont wait up.
The place is cozy and clean, and pretty empty considering it was a Tuesday night. It's easy enough for him to pick an empty barstool to slide into and waves the bartender over to order a special off the menu. While he waits for his food and drink, the barstool beside him is suddenly filled with a Human.
A Human woman.
She's hot. Tall and curvy with long curly hair framing an angular face. With magazine perfect makeup and a fashionable outfit, she is way out of his league. For a moment Vanilla sits stunned but he's even more surprised when she immediately sends him a wink and a smile. She reaches out her hand and immediately introduces herself to him.
"Camille."
He introduces himself back as Vanilla this time.
He spends most of that night chatting with her. Her interests are cooking and dancing, she likes to read about the newest scientific advancements and celebrity gossip, she works as a nurse. She's confident and sharp and it's wonderful. She's different. She's the opposite of you in every way.
When she turns to him and asks him to come home with her, he doesn't hesitate to accept. He figures, it's just one and done. He's not a cheater. He just needed to get it out of his system. Vanilla, Sans, still loves you.
He doesn't even feel guilty about it until after he sleeps with Camille and gets her phone number. After he's back at home and you're already asleep in your shared bed. After he crawls in beside you and you instantly seek his warmth.
But it's barely there. Ignorable compared to the relief he had felt at the change of pace.
But for some reason the next day when Camille texts him at work asking if Vanilla would like to get food somewhere, he agrees. And then he agrees to take cooking lessons with her. And then he agrees to meeting her parents.
He doesn't even think about the consequences anymore. Vanilla's keeping his promise. He's living his life without routine and trying different things. It feels like he's found another angel to lift him out of that hellish routine he's fallen into again.
And then one night after he's out Gyftmas shopping with Camille he comes home late and the house is empty. You never replied to his text and when he teleports to your shared room, all the dresser drawers are open and your clothing is gone. When he moves to what has become the computer room, your computer and crafting items are gone too. Nick-nacks have been pulled off of shelves and paintings pulled off of walls, leaving shadows of dust where they used to be.
Finally, finally, that crippling guilt hits him. Bubbling in his non-existent gut and up to his ribcage like tendrils of fire. Like Hell itself has sent its fires to Vanilla's home to burn him up from the inside out. It paralyzes him as he wanders slowly around the house empty of your items and the light you brought with you. To the door to see your shoes and coat are gone as well in a final farewell he can barely believe is happening.
He goes to call you, to see where you went. What happened? Are you okay? But Pap walks through the door before he can find the courage to face facts.
"Sans! Sans what's wrong? What happened?" Papyrus asks him, reaching out to him with concern in his normally exuberant voice.
And Vanilla- Sans?- He just doesn't know what to say back. All he can think is that he ruined everything. He had, in the end, done this to himself. Knowingly and willingly. A self sabotage that took everyone with him, hurt everyone in his life.
It felt like everything he touched became blackened and burnt. That the hellfire he felt burning himself up from the inside out is just proof that maybe the Underground changed him in different ways, worse ways. Or, as a more terrible thought occurs, he didn't change at all.
The old and the new had split him down the middle in a chasm he didn't know how to fix, causing that molten lava to erupt in a corrupting force. Perhaps neither Vanilla or Sans was his real name, and he was just the Devil.