Chapter Text
Ferdinand had always knew his body best. He always made sure to keep in check every changes in his body because of the constant harassment from the former First Lady which were usually in the form of poisoning. That was why he knew something was oddly wrong with him when he felt a sudden headache. Nothing like the usual constant, ever-present headache that he had because of piling works but a different kind of headache. This headache actually felt like he was sick. Even his eyes felt hot and moist almost like he had a fever.
Ferdinand chose to chug in a potion to reduce the swelling headache but it did nothing more than to add a terrible taste in his mouth that was hard to wash out even with the tea that Fran made. Ferdinand felt confused. This change in his body were strange and he did not feel good about not knowing what was happening to himself. Ferdinand opt the wait and see approach to observe his condition some more.
Not long after, he felt a bruising pain on his forehead. Touching the spot, he could not feel any change in term of texture or contour but the dull ache were a reminder that he does indeed felt something just then. Ferdinand felt doubt. He had heard of stories regarding soulmates sharing pain but he never anticipated to experience them himself.
There were myths surrounding the concept of soulmates. Research done on them did not actually bear much fruit as there were so little cases of confirmed soulmates. Much rarer for them to be able to meet unless they already knew of each other. He did not pay particular attention on the subject studied but he had heard before graduation that there were a pair of soulmates confirmed and paired in Ehrenfest. Having a soulmate were already a rarity and being paired with secured star bind are even rarer case as political marriage were dominant over marriage out of love.
The fact that a middle-to-lower duchy like Ehrenfest even had a pair attracted a lot of attention at that time as not one more pair were found and confirmed in the whole country at that time. However, Ferdinand still felt it unbelievable for him to have a soulmate and even if he did, why now? Does that mean his soulmate had just been born? If so, there’s no need for him to get excited because he will never meet her. Not when they have 18 years of age gap between them.
In the first place, it was weird that someone like him would even get this so called blessing and favour from the couple Gods of Light and Darkness. Such sacred blessing should have never been granted to someone fated to be a feystone like himself. He did not deserve it. So, instead of indulging himself in fake hope, he should just forget about it and move on.
Contrary to Ferdinand’s wish of ignoring everything, the constant reminder of the presence of someone else connected to him remained. He could feel the occasional bruising pain when she fell down or the searing heat when she had a fever. Sometimes he wondered, could she feel the same pain that he felt? Theoretically, it should be so. The train of thought bothered him a lot because he was aware of just how unhealthy his lifestyle were.
Ferdinand had gotten used to the constant headache induced by sleep deprivation and the stabbing pain caused by empty stomach but he was not sure if his soulmate could feel them and with how much intensity. Feeling disturbed and bothered, Ferdinand sub-consciously began taking more care of himself. Ferdinand would catch a longer nap in the hidden room to reduce the headache and eat proper meals instead of recovery potions to pad his stomach. Even though when compared to normal adult male his food intake were still lacking, but it was a good start. His grey attendants were delighted by the change and Ferdinand felt complicated about this knowledge.
There was one time when Ferdinand was alone in the hidden room preparing for a short nap when he felt a sting on his arm. As if someone was pinching his soulmate- or it might be his soulmate pinching herself- but it was quite common for his soulmate to get pinched especially in the cheeks region so, he ignored it.
However, after a moment passed he could feel another light pinch on his arm. This time, a hint of hesitation could be recognized by Ferdinand. This… it might be an experiment of his soulmate. She might have noticed and were checking for his existence. Ferdinand did not know what to do. For the first time, he panicked and did not know what to do. Like a fool, he just sat there. Unmoving like a statue when another pinch was felt on his arm. This time stronger. He could feel the anger and disappointment from this one pinch.
Ferdinand hesitated. What if she were in danger? What if she was asking for help? What if-
…
This is just too pathetic. Searching for excuses just to reassure himself made Ferdinand felt so upset with himself. Resolving his heart, Ferdinand lightly pinch the same spot she had been pinching for the last minute. A beat passed before another stinging sensation hit him. This one felt more painful than the others. He could practically see his soulmate jumping in excitement and pinching her arm eagerly.
The imagery in his mind made the corner of his mouth tilt upward. Ferdinand realized what he just did and scoffed. How could he even imagine how excited she was when he had never even met her. He did not even know what colour her hair and eyes were. Which duchy she was from or were she really happy with the revelation of his presence. This all felt like a joke. A terrible joke that Sylvester would definitely tease him for.
Soon the call from the Knight Order came with the notification of the arrival of the Lord of Winter. Ferdinand was preparing to set off when he remembered just how much he often got hurt in these type of subjugation. Frowning at the reminder of the pain that would be inflicted on his soulmate, Ferdinand felt conflicted. In the end, Ferdinand brought along more protective charm and amulets than usual- or necessary- to the subjugation location.
Throughout the fight, he made sure to deal critical blows on the fey creature to maximize damage and minimize the time spent on this subjugation. Of course, as a matter of fact Ferdinand would definitely avoid getting hurt and no one could criticize him for distancing himself further from the Lord of Winter with how totally merciless he was being to the fey creature.
Returning safely with the least amount of injury in history, Ferdinand quickly heal up using the blessing of Heilschmerz. He felt relieved when the numbing pain of some particularly deep cuts disappeared. Rubbing the spots softly but still with enough pressure for the other side to feel and know that it was intentional, he apologize for the pains he had caused her. Ferdinand note the reassuring pat he felt on his chest and couldn’t help the small-almost-non-existent smile from blooming on his face. The sensation felt foreign but not unpleasant. Warm even.
Their days continued as such with morning greetings in the form of small pinches on the back of the hand and goodnight greetings on the thumb. The years were mostly uneventful but there were a few instances that Ferdinand swear he would never wish a repetition of; one being his poisoning done by the High Bishop and another was his soulmate’s incredibly high fever border burning him alive. He remembered the nauseating burns from his stomach and felt so bad for his-most-definitely-still-a-child-soulmate. She became much more clingier after that. Pinching her cheek every hour to check up on him. When he pat his cheek in comfort then, would she stop fretting.
There was a time when his soulmate had a fever higher than what he usually felt. He was worried for her life because it was searing him, imagining a small child enduring that severe of a fever sent a chill down his spine. It lasted for more than a week and he feared for her life. Ferdinand acted like usual but his attendants definitely noticed something was wrong with how dishevelled his appearance was for the entire duration. He himself could not function like normal with how scorched his brain felt.
Thankfully, it came to pass. Ferdinand thanked every Gods he could remember that day with how relieved he was. He kept her company throughout it all and he felt her consoling him through their shared bond. However, he felt distressed for her. He never prayed so much in his life compared to then. He was so scared she would leave him and it took a long time before he could stop the panic from attacking him whenever he felt a sign of developing fever from her. It seemed like she knew of his fear as she had never fail to put his mind to rest with comforting touches.
For a child, my soulmate sure is a sensitive and intelligent person.
Now twenty years-old, Ferdinand move around the Temple to prepare for the Summer baptismal ceremony for the downtown area after finished with the orphanage. Like usual, the door was opened and swarms of children entered the prayer hall. The sound of their chatter dampened by the magic tool engraved into the floor of the hall. As per his duty, Ferdinand instructed the children to put out their hand and he pricked a finger before stamping them down onto the registration medals.
Ferdinand’s work was done smoothly when suddenly the flow was cut short by a small little girl. She was so small he doubted she was old enough to attend the baptismal ceremony. The girl wore a unique type of dress that puff out from the waist down. She had unblemished white porcelain-like skin that made her stood out like a sore thumb among the tanned downtown children. Her beautiful glittering dark blue hair reminded him of the starry night sky on a warm summer. The teary moon-like honey coloured eyes stared at him fearfully.
Ferdinand’s heart skipped a beat. Was she afraid of me? The thoughts of her feeling afraid of him made his heart felt uncomfortable. A frown marred Ferdinand’s face when a soft voice called out to him. “U-um… please do it gently…”
Observing carefully, Ferdinand noticed that she was looking at him not with fear but with plead. Her object of terror were not him but the pins lined up on the table. Ferdinand felt his shoulder relaxed slightly at this realization. Leaning closer, he made sure the girl was focused on him before saying, “I’ll make sure it does not hurt.”
Blinking her moist eyes at him, she hesitantly nodded before slowly shifting closer and holding her hand out. Her palm was so small when placed in Ferdinand’s bigger, manlier one. He gently nipped on her small finger- just enough to get a drop of blood out and no more than that- he discretely applied a healing spell under his breath. Ferdinand did not notice the small twitch of his left pointy finger when he nipped the girl’s finger- too light for him to register the slight sting. Smiling cheerfully at him, the girl went away with a cute wave when another boy called out to her.
Ferdinand observed her closely but discreetly. Making sure no one were aware of his attention on the girl. When the ceremony started, he kept on studying her small and big movements. Thanks to the magic tool used, he could not hear their conversation even with enhanced hearing so he opt to read their lips instead. Children were not really on guard against their surrounding so it was an easy and simple task for him.
“Prayer to the Gods!”
When the High Bishop called out for the prayer pose, the girl covered her mouth and stomach as if enduring something unbearable. Is she alright? Ferdinand was impatient to check up on her but the High Bishop once again called out, “Thank the Gods!”
Ferdinand felt a dull ache on his right shoulder. His soulmate might have had fallen on her side and landed on her shoulder… hearing a commotion from the girl’s side, he witnessed her being carried away by a grey priest. Ferdinand noticed; she fell on her right side and right on the shoulder. He felt his eyelids twitch at the realization.
To be continue...