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“You’re so red, Chongyun, don’t tell me even this is too much for you? It’s just black pepper!”
Chongyun coughs, ignoring the sting of pepper in his nose, and leans away from where Xingqiu is pressing the back of his hand to Chongyun’s cheek. Truth be told, the fish he’s eating is very peppery, and while he’d normally loath to acknowledge that even that is heating him up a little bit…
“Maybe if it wasn’t half the pepper shaker, Xingqiu.”
… It’s less embarrassing than admitting the truth, which is that his current state is less to do with the fish and more to do with Xingqiu’s bare thigh pressed against Chongyun’s leg. He’s warm from knee to hip, and it makes his face burn.
Xingqiu gasps, retracting his hand to place it against his breast. “Poor Xiangling! What would she say if she heard you say such things about her cooking?”
Chongyun levies their opulent environment with a stare rather than continuing to admire how wide and golden Xingqiu’s eyes are at this distance. “Last I checked, we’re at Xinyue Kiosk because you wanted to class it up, and Xiangling would never break her old man’s heart by accepting one of their job offers.”
He doesn’t usually talk so much - Chongyun’s thoughts really aren’t interesting enough to be worth sharing most of the time, especially compared to Xingqiu, who both reads about and actually does all kinds of fantastical things. Chongyun just spends most of his time trying to wrestle himself under control. If it weren’t for Xingqiu dragging him out and about, he’d be content barely ever having any fun at all. But… something about Xingqiu seems to always drag the words out of him.
To Chongyun’s eternal gratitude, Xingqiu blinks, thus breaking the spell his gaze was weaving over Chongyun. His lashes are dark against the skin of his cheeks, and the slightest bit of black kohl traces the shape of his eyes to make them look even bigger.
“Ah. Right,” Xingqiu acknowledges, leaning his chin into his palm with a smirk. “It took so long to get a reservation here that I almost forgot where we even were. In that case, please continue to insult the food. I need a solid repertoire of scathing commentary to bring back to distract Xiangling with next time she tries to use me for experimental taste-testing.”
“Wh - no!” Chongyun protests. “I need that way more than you. Most of her stuff turns out pretty great, and I don’t even know why you keep foisting her off on me. At least you can eat it! Also, this place is so expensive, I’d feel really guilty if I truly didn’t like something...”
Xingqiu sniffs and leans back into the plush upholstery on the booth seat bench they’re on. Since it is a two-person booth and they’re both squished into one side of it, this also serves to press him closer to Chongyun, who swallows and tries not to breathe the silk flower scent of Xingqiu’s clothes too deeply.
Xingqiu’s hair tickles against his ear anyways, and he impales his fish on his chopsticks before stuffing half of it into his mouth. The ensuing bout of coughing and misery is enough to at least distract Chongyun from - from -
Well, from his raging crush on Xingqiu.
He’s not even sure he can reasonably call it a crush anymore. It’s been over a year, and by most standards he’s probably-definitely just plain hopelessly in love with his best friend at this point. Most of the time, it’s a curse - Xingqiu is very easy to love, even when he’s being mean, and it makes it difficult for Chongyun to get properly irate every time he gets tricked into something unpleasant.
There’s no spice snuck into his food this time, however. It’s all just his own doing, because Xingqiu was tired of the food he was being served at home and wanted to explore some of Xinyue Kiosk’s famed Yue-style seafood. Chongyun doesn’t even know how he’s going to pay his half of the tab for this place. The menu didn’t have prices listed, which usually means that the price is way too high for someone like him.
Xingqiu probably didn’t think about that at all. He has enough money that such things don’t bother him, and even if he usually strives to be a chivalrous and considerate person, there are still things he doesn’t always notice. Chongyun isn’t poorly off, especially not enough that Xingqiu would notice during their time together, but there’s a difference between leading an average life and being able to dine at Xinyue Kiosk freely.
And yet, somehow even that casual airheadedness in someone usually so on top of financial affairs is endearing. If Xingqiu believes that Chongyun still has a long way to go before he achieves true chivalry, then Chongyun believes that Xingqiu has his head a bit stuck up in the clouds. It’s nice to listen to him about it, though, especially on the days when Chongyun is feeling low about his own shortcomings as an exorcist. With the way Xingqiu goes on, it’s easy to believe that everything is within reach, it’s just a matter of time.
Everything except Xingqiu, Chongyun supposes. His friend is very literally within arm’s reach, but if he were ever to confess his feelings, he’s sure it would spell the end of everything else he enjoys about their relationship. Xingqiu is so forward (well, in his own scheming ways) about getting what he wants that if he felt similarly, he would surely have made a move or a plot by now. Since Chongyun is the only one with romantic feelings, letting them be known would just make everything awkward. He doesn’t know what he’d do if he didn’t have Xingqiu to grab dinner with at the end of a hot, miserable day of chasing empty leads, or to occasionally bully him into bettering himself, or to… pay for damages when Chongyun loses control to his overwhelmingly yang spirit.
Chongyun groans, burying his face in his hands. Xingqiu really does go out of his way a lot for Chongyun, doesn’t he? And for what? Lackluster conversation? One of these days, he’s going to get tired of playing pranks and realize how boring Chongyun is...
“Hey,” says the subject of his woes in question. “What’s the matter, Chongyun? If it’s really that bad, you can have mine. It’s not a cold dish, but there’s no chili in it. Here, say ‘ahhh’ - !”
Chongyun drops his hands in time for Xingqiu to proffer his chopsticks, a piece of something too close to see held between them. Despite his history of apprehension, Chongyun finds himself opening his mouth without question, and Xingqiu grins at him as flavor bursts across his tongue.
It’s chewy, probably some kind of calamari, and with a much more flavorful sauce than what Chongyun chose for himself. Still, true to Xingqiu’s promise, there’s no spice.
“Ah, you didn’t open fast enough,” Xingqiu complains, and shifts onto his knees in the booth so that he can grab Chongyun’s chin, who jumps so hard that he swallows his food in one big lump before he can finish chewing. “Hold still, you’ve made a mess.”
Xingqiu’s thumb swipes against the corner of Chongyun’s mouth, where some of the sauce had brushed. His thumb just barely dips beyond Chongyun’s lip before he hums in satisfaction and pulls it back. The gramophone of Chongyun’s brain is skipping something off-tune as he stops breathing, and the needle pops off the proverbial record player entirely when Xingqiu leans in and a quick dart of pink tongue swipes his finger clean.
“There!” he declares. “Pretty good, isn’t it?”
Chongyun just stares up at him, wide eyed and with his face still caught between Xingqiu’s fingers. His fingertips are soft against the hollow of Chongyun’s jaw, and the height granted to him by his pose on his knees would make Xingqiu resemble a young lord looking down at his vassal if it weren’t for the remaining glimmer of shine on his lip.
“Chongyun?” Xingqiu asks, in a tone that implies he should be frowning. His expression, however, lies more in the direction of a familiar, cat-like smile. “You still seem a little out of it. Here, let me get you some water.”
He reaches for a glass, but Chongyun finally regains his wits enough to jolt, pulling out of Xingqiu’s grip and lunging for it.
“I’ve got it!” Chongyun says, and proceeds to chug half the glass. “Thanks!”
When he turns back from his extremely hydrating endeavor, gasping for air, Xingqiu is laughing gently into his hand, the frilly sleeve doing shockingly little to hide his amused expression for all of its volume. One of his hands is tucked behind his back, and the whole posture is overall very reminiscent of how Xingqiu looks when one of his pranks on Chongyun is coming together.
“What’s wrong, Chongyun?” Xingqiu asks, lowering his hand and placing it on Chongyun’s knee as he leans in. Though Xingqiu makes no secret of his affection and friendship for Chongyun, the gesture itself is uncharacteristically touchy of the prim heir. It sends a frisson of anxiety up his throat, but he doesn’t shift away in case it embarrasses Xingqiu away from being more open for once. “I was really hoping to pick a dining experience that wouldn’t leave you... uncomfortably flustered.”
Xingqiu’s lip curls into a sly little smile, and, oh. The mora finally drops in Chongyun’s mind, and with it goes the bottom of his stomach.
He knows he’s slow when it comes to catching the hint on the best of days, so it’s probably been long enough that he’s made a total idiot of himself.
“You - you figured it out?” Chongyun asks quietly.
Xingqiu blinks, and reaches out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Chongyun’s ear. The hand on his knee squeezes. Chongyun’s heart thumps hard in his chest as the sweat on the back of his neck turns cold. “Figured out what, dear Chongyun?”
He shouldn’t move. He’s not going to move. He is going to get through this without upsetting himself and Xingqiu, and -
Chongyun levers Xingqiu’s hand away, arms trembling with barely restrained panic, and pulls his knee out of Xingqiu’s grasp, shoulders hunching as he stares at his knees and feels his face heat. This is… humiliating. Xingqiu is humiliating him, because he thinks Chongyun’s dense hopelessness is funny. How long has he known about Chongyun’s crush? How long did it take him to decide it was a point of amusement? Actually, how long has he been teasing Chongyun over it without Chongyun even noticing, because of course he would never assume that someone like Xingqiu would be interested in him?
Xingqiu leans in, the tassel of his earring brushing against Chongyun’s neck. “Is there something you wanted me to know?” he murmurs.
“No,” bursts out Chongyun, shoving Xingqiu far enough back that he can shoot to his feet and shoulder his way out of the private booth they’re sitting in. He needs to get some air - if he stays here much longer, he really is going to overheat and lose it. Given his current state of mind, that would be the worst possible outcome.
He spots the opening to a balcony, and the cool, fresh night air beyond it. Salvation. Before he goes, though, Chongyun turns back to a very startled-looking Xingqiu, who is half-sprawled over backwards on the booth seat. There’s a lump of something discomforting building in his throat, and this is his last chance to say something without his voice cracking embarrassingly halfway through.
“This isn’t something I wanted you to know, Xingqiu!” Chongyun snaps. “And just because you figured it out anyways doesn’t mean you can play with my feelings like that. I know you have a mean streak, but some things are just going too far!”
With that, Chongyun whirls around and flees into the starry evening.
Outside, he leans his arms onto the balcony railing and takes deep breaths. The night sky twinkles with stars, mockingly peaceful, and the day’s heat radiates up from the baked stone roofs that dot the harbor. Now that he’s out of the oppressive atmosphere of the restaurant, he’s for once not focusing on cooling down, but more on trying not to tear up.
He’s not very successful, and buries his head in his arms to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. It’s not his fault! Anyone would be crying in a situation like this. He’s embarrassed himself, embarrassed Xingqiu, and probably lost his best friend.
He thinks what hurts the most isn’t even that Xingqiu is clearly uninterested in him, but that when he figured out Chongyun’s feelings towards him, he thought it was something he could poke fun at. Chongyun really puts up with a lot from Xingqiu because he knows that it all comes from a good place. That said, if Xingqiu comes at him with something about needling Chongyun so that he learns to toughen up his emotions, it might just resolve all their problems, because Chongyun would fall right out of love with him for being that cruel.
He’s such an idiot. Why did he have to give himself away? What did he even do that was the giveaway? Everything is ruined now. Even if Xingqiu still wants to see him after this, it’s never going to be the same. Why would he want to hang out with Chongyun if he had to spend the whole time second-guessing every interaction in case Chongyun read too much into it?
“Hey,” a hand alights on his shoulder, and Chongyun jumps up, scrubbing a hand roughly at his eyes. Xingqiu looks back at him, chin tucked down demurely and eyes peering sorrowfully through his lashes. Even like this, Chongyun can’t help but realize all over again how pretty his friend is.
Pretty, but upset. Chongyun’s harsh words echo in his own ears.
“I’m sorry,” they both say at once, and Chongyun does a double-take.
“No,” says Xingqiu, hand sliding down Chongyun’s arm until he can link their fingers together. “I’m sorry. Truly. It wasn’t my intention to play with your feelings at all, Chongyun. You must know that I have nothing but the utmost of respect and admiration for you, and I would never do something so unchivalrous as to mock you for your emotions.”
Something tight unravels in Chongun’s chest, and he tastes relief. Xingqiu wasn’t being unkind on purpose. His faith in Xingqiu hadn’t been misplaced after all.
“So you really did figure out that I like you,” mumbles Chongyun, staring at their linked hands. “Why were you doing all that, then? It really felt like you were playing with me like you always do.”
Xingqiu bites his lip, unusually hesitant, and takes his hand back to fiddle with the ruffles on his sleeve. “I mean… I suppose I was, in a way. But not with ill intent. I like you, too, Chongyun!”
“You do?” Chongyun chokes out. Somehow, of all the outcomes, this one never occurred to him. The revelation is like being hit over the head with a brick. “But you never said anything!”
“Neither did you!” retorts Xingqiu defensively, crossing his arms. “And you weren’t subtle, staring at my legs all the time! I was trying to get you to make a move!”
“Why would you wait for me to make a move if you already knew we were both interested in each other!” Chongyun throws his hands into the air before dragging them down his face. His cheeks are hot, hot, hot, and when he frosts his palms to help cool him down it only accomplishes getting his face damp. Staring at Xingqiu’s legs. Oh, archons, why is he such a mess all the time? Even when he’s not overheating, he’s still too hot-headed.
Peeking from between his fingers shows him that Xingqiu has finally gone red, too, though, and is glaring abashedly at where he’s folded his hands and hid them in the lapel of his coat.
“... Xingqiu?” Chongyun starts slowly. It’s not often that he sees his friend looking genuinely embarrassed like this, and the concern slows the frantic beat of his heart into something more steady.
Xingqiu tips his head back and stares at the stars.
“You’ll think me silly,” he starts, “but I suppose I simply wanted to experience a confession the way it is meant to be done.”
Chongyun blinks. “What do you mean?”
Xingqiu finally looks at him again with a small smile, though his gaze skitters away quickly. “Well, it’s a classic tale, isn’t it? Two good friends, mutually in love and pining from the comfort of a resounding connection fraught with misunderstanding… until one of them takes the initiative and makes a dramatic show of his affection!”
Chongyun goggles. He knows that Xingqiu is a little bit ridiculous sometimes, but…
Well, at least the secondhand embarrassment has done a swell job of clearing out Chongyun’s own thrumming anxiety. And firsthand anxiety.
“... So you just wanted me to sweep you off your feet?”
The red spots on Xingqiu’s cheeks spread, and Chongyun gets the impression that if his friend’s posture wasn’t congenitally impeccable, his shoulders would be curling in right now. Instead, he leans back against the restaurant balcony and nods, winding his hands behind his back.
“I’m sorry that my selfish desire hurt your feelings,” Xingqiu says, a tinge of genuine sorrow permeating his tone.
Chongyun hums thoughtfully and takes a step forward, something mischievous taking root in his chest in place of the earlier fraught panic. What was that saying? Revenge is a dish best served cold? That’s basically all Chongyun eats anyways, and Xingqiu loves pranks, doesn’t he?
Besides, if Xingqiu really likes him, then he should put some effort into meeting him in the middle, shouldn’t he? He’s probably never going to stop being thick, and sort of uninteresting, and really bad at having fun, but he could at least take Xingqiu up on it when he spells out exactly what to do to be less boring.
“Hmm,” he says. “You know what I think?”
Xingqiu looks up, finding himself nose-to-nose with Chongyun, and twitches in startlement. His eyes are big and flecked with a comforting brown among the bright amber, and they dart back and forth as he looks between Chongyun’s eyes.
“Yes?” Xingqiu breathes as Chongyun lets his gaze fall to Xingqiu’s lips.
He shifts closer, reaching forward to lean onto the balcony until he’s boxed Xingqiu in and nearly pressed them together. Xingqiu’s much easier to read at this range - or maybe he’s just less composed than usual, because Chongyun can’t imagine he’d normally let someone hear him gasp quietly, or allow his lips to part in anticipation.
Anyways, that’s when Chongyun swipes a leg behind Xingqiu’s and sends him tumbling off-balance with an extremely undignified shriek.
“Chongyun!”
Chongyun catches him before he hits the ground, of course, one hand at his lower back and one at his upper so that Xingqiu ends up arched backwards like a heroine in the illustrations on some of the less professionally-oriented hero novels Chongyun’s seen him read.
“I think,” Chongyun finally answers him, “that I can definitely sweep you off your feet if you’d really like.”
A bonus of this position is that Xingqiu has very little leverage when he proceeds to wallop Chongyun over the head.
“Chongyun!” Xingqiu exclaims over his own snickering, yanking at some of Chongyun’s hair. “You! You’re a jerk! A jerk and a tease! Where did you learn this kind of deplorable behavior?”
“Oh, gee,” Chongyun rolls his eyes, ducking his head to hide a smile. “I wonder.”
Xingqiu finally stops trying to bodily harm him and instead finds himself with nowhere to put his hands except to let them flutter gently onto Chongyun’s shoulders. “Ah… are you planning to let me up, then? If you’re done being senselessly cruel to your very best friend?”
Truth be told, Chongyun was. But if he’s being honest, the position isn’t as hard to hold as he thought it’d be with his knee out to support them, and the longer he looks at Xingqiu like this, tousled and red-faced and with pinprick tears of embarrassed laughter in the corners of his eyes…
Maybe Chongyun is overheating a little bit again, because instead of letting Xingqiu up, he leans down and presses their lips together.
Xingqiu lets out a squeak of surprise under him, jolting, but relaxes very quickly once he realizes what is happening. His hands trail down from Chongyun’s shoulders and up to cup the curve of his jaw. His aristocratic, sword-calloused fingers are cool against Chongyun’s cheeks, and he closes his eyes like he really is the love interest in a romance adventure novel.
When Chongyun leans back and finally tips both of them back onto their feet, Xingqiu is slow to open his eyes again, and presses the back of his hand to his mouth to hide a small smile as he turns away. Chongyun’s chest squeezes.
“That’s a pretty shy gesture for you to be making,” Chongyun worries. “Was it that bad?”
Xingqiu shakes his head, dropping his hand, and his smile widens even as he obviously fails to stifle the expression. “No! Or, I suppose I wouldn’t have any point of comparison, so perhaps you’re actually a terrible kisser - “
“Wait, you’ve never kissed anyone before?” Chongyun asks, alarmed. That can’t be right, can it?
“Have you?”
“Well, yeah!” Chongyun says. Xingqiu’s expression quickly becomes a lot more wide-eyed, and he starts to wind his hands behind his back like he always does when he’s trying to put a wall up and play the under-control aristocrat. Chongyun rushes forward to grab his wrists. “But it was just to try it out! And I don’t remember most of it anyways because Xiangling always eats the kind of spicy food I really can’t handle, and when you kiss someone, uh - “ Shut up, shut up, shut up. “ - Anyways! I wouldn’t have done it like that if I knew it was your first kiss!”
“Well, how would you have done it?” Xingqiu asks, just a little bit snappy.
Chongyun turns Xingqiu’s palms up and winds their fingers together. Xingqiu’s left hand spends most of its time tucked into the small of his back and is a lot softer than his right, where he usually holds either a sword or a book. “Like… like in one of the stories you mentioned. I’d take you somewhere pretty and wait until the sun was setting and make it special. I’d want you to remember it as something nice.”
Chongyun is not very creative and it’s the most stereotypical idea on the planet, but Xingqiu’s eyes soften anyways, and a smile pulls at the edges of his mouth. He squeezes Chongyun’s hands back, and rocks onto his toes to plant a kiss onto the corner of Chongyun’s lips.
“I think I will remember it as something nice,” he tells Chongyun. “After all, you did sweep me off my feet.”
Chongyun laughs a little, the tight spike of anxiety in his chest starting to unwind.
“Really?” he asks.
“Really,” Xingqiu confirms. “But you’re definitely still going to take me somewhere - how did you phrase it - really pretty, and kiss me in the sunset. That’s non-negotiable. On my honor as the second son of the Guild Manager of the Feiyun Commerce Guild.”
Chongyun snorts, and lets go of Xingqiu’s hands so he can link their elbows together and shove his shoulder into Xingqiu’s instead. “Sure, Xingqiu.”
“Mm,” Xingqiu confirms. “And you’re paying for dinner.”
“Hey! Why am I the one appeasing you, here? You’re the one who started teasing me!”
“Well, you’re used to it. I have a more delicate disposition. Besides, it’s gentlemanly to pay.”
“You’re also rich. Use your rich boy money to pay for dinner.”
“Fine. I suppose I’ll get the chili chocolate cake for dessert, then…”
“Ugh, Xingqiu…”