Chapter Text
~ * ~
A new normal was slowly established.
Oh, some of the crewmembers had been sceptical when Grian and Etho had first called the emergency meeting where Grian revealed himself to be an imposter - but true to Etho’s assurances, the crew had acted rationally, and had been willing to hear the two of them out.
Grian had been allowed to stay.
Not everyone was pleased about it, but they had unanimously agreed to it nonetheless. And Grian… didn’t quite know what to do, now.
There was no reason for him to be faking tasks anymore. The first few days after the meeting, he’d done so anyway, simply from habit - but then Blue had gently asked him if he was actually connecting the wires he was standing in front of, and if not, why he was still pretending. Grian didn’t know what to say to that, other than to stammer out some excuse before awkwardly walking away.
His days became discombobulated. Filled with empty gaps of time, and awkward interactions. Grian wasn’t quite sure how to fix it.
So, he spent the first days sticking close to Etho.
The cyan crewmate didn’t seem to mind, and Grian found it pleasant enough to sit quietly and listen while Etho softly narrated his tasks as he went through them. “Would you like to learn?” he’d asked Grian at one point.
“Yes,” Grian licked his lips, meeting the gaze Etho had thrown at him from over one shoulder, “but some of them make no sense to me. Like the symbols one in reactor, and the screens around the ship.”
“Hm,” Etho had said, turning back to the samples he was inspecting. “I guess standard human writing was not part of your imposter training?” Then he added, quietly, “...is there such a thing as imposter training?”
Grian smiled, and kicked his legs a bit where he was sitting on one of the cots. “Yeah, there is - but it mostly consists of practicing how to shapeshift. Studying biology and all that. Spoken language is mandatory before some missions, but not all of them.” Then, he remembered something Green had told him. “Uh, Tango mentioned… dyslexia? Is that what it’s called?”
Etho chuckled, picking out the correct sample before turning back to facing the smaller man. “No, dyslexia is something different. It’s a disorder that, amongst other things, can make it harder to read and write, but it’s not the same. I think if we translated the text into something you could understand, you’d still be able to do it without problem - we just haven’t made the right accomodations yet.”
He blinked, before following the taller man as he made his way out of medbay towards the cafeteria. “Yet?”
Though Etho’s back was still turned to him, Grian could hear the smile in his voice when he confirmed, “Yet.”
—
“Grian!”
He blinked, turning to face the man that had called out to him. “Yes, Orange?”
The orange crewmate snickered at him as he made his way over to where Grian had stopped in the hallway. “Just Scar, please - and I wanted to show you something! Could you come to electrical with me? Or is it a bad time?”
It was no secret that Grian didn’t really have many things to do during the day anymore, but the fact that Orange - that Scar was asking, was enough to make a smile appear on his face. “No, not at all. What is it?”
As Scar started walking, steps a bit heavier than Grian’s own, the man happily explained as the two of them made their way through storage, the sound of his leg braces echoing back at them from the metal walls with every step.
“Well, I’ve been talking to Etho and Impulse, and we’ve come up with a way to help both of us out with the data files! I’m sure you agree that it’s simply way too much reading for such a simple task, and I always end up spending way too long making sure I don’t accidentally click the wrong thing. What if I deleted the file instead of downloading it, huh? What then?”
The lights flickered gently overhead as they entered electrical, and Grian could see White standing in the corner of the small room, back turned and probably working on tasks of his own.
“Hey Pungence!” Scar greeted as the two of them walked towards the back wall.
White nodded his head at them in greeting, eyes still focused on the task in front of him. Grian could see that he was frowning at the spinning lights of the indicators in front of him - yet another task that Grian had never learned how to do. With a wince of sympathy, Grian turned back to where Scar was fiddling with the small screen at the back of the room.
Grian walked over to peer over his shoulder. “How does this work, then?”
“Well,” Scar said, taking a small step to the side before wrapping an arm around Grian’s shoulder so both of them could see the small screen, making Grian tense up with surprise. “You’ve gotta transfer files between different parts of the ship, to make sure there are backups in case of power shortages and the like. We’ve worked on an update to the handheld devices for a while already, so it was no trouble including some more universal design to make it accessible for you, too. Or at least,” Scar smiled down at him, making Grian feel warm in so many different ways— “I hope it will. Just let me know if you can think of any changes that might help you out, okay?”
“Okay,” Grian said, a feeling in his chest twisting almost painfully. He felt so much affection for his humans at that moment, it almost made him dizzy—
“So what you do is you plug your device right in with this cable, and - yes, look at that! It’s highlighting the button you need to proceed with your task list for the day. And now we wait until another indicator lights up, but that might take some time. I’m actually thinking of adding some animations to further demonstrate the tasks,” Scar explained, and Grian felt bad for the way he just about zoned out as the man started rambling excitedly about his future plans.
Scar had helped change the task so that Grian could be a proper part of the crew. He was talking to him, touching him, so freely - not even seeming to mind that White was right there in the room with them, obviously done with his task, but still hovering around the corner of the room, keeping an eye on them.
For some reason, it felt like a pretty monumental shift.
—
Things had been going easier with the crewmates, and by this point, even the most sceptical of them no longer tensed up when Grian walked into the room. Things weren’t quite back to how it had been, before he had revealed himself to be not-quite-human, but he was starting to hope that at some point, it might be.
Grian had been in communications, and he was feeling at ease. The tasks he had that day were easy, and most of them consisted of waiting - which suited him just fine. Some of the longer ones were still a bit overwhelming for him, and while waiting for the current files to upload, he took the opportunity to stretch out a bit.
And so, when a strange shape at the top of the cabinet in the corner of the room caught his eye, way too far up for him to reach in his human shape… well. He was alone - and besides that, he didn’t have to hide anymore.
Standing in front of the cabinet, one hand unfastening the zipper at the front of his environmental suit, Grian let his shape relax around his shoulder blades.
It always felt strange, going between forms - even more so when he only did it partly, like he was doing now. His shoulders tensed up, and then he let out a sigh as he felt his form ripple with movement as a tendril of other slowly stretched out behind him.
Grian tilted his head back, stood up on his tippy-toes, and reached. Even with the tentacle, it was a bit of a stretch, and Grian felt the pull on the rest of his muscles - but then he came in contact with the cluster of metal and wires he’d spotted before, and he smiled as the tentacle curled around it and carefully brought it back down.
He turned back towards the desk, wanting to look at the thing he’d found in the light, and promptly froze.
Black was standing in the doorway to communications, unmoving. Mouth gaping, and eyes wide as he stared just over Grian’s shoulder.
Right at where the tendril of Grian’s true form was still clutching the piece of machinery he’d found.
The two of them stood there, frozen in surprise - and on Grian’s side, slight panic.
Black had been one of the crewmates that had trusted him before, but after Grian’s reveal, the man had become much more reserved in regards to the imposter. In fact, Grian couldn’t remember the two of them having been alone in a room since before the fateful emergency meeting he and Etho had called—
“Bro, that’s so cool! What in the world,” Black exclaimed, interrupting Grian’s frantic thoughts. Before he could do much more than blink in surprise, Black had already made his way over to Grian’s side, eyes wide and shining with excitement. “Are you, like, a squid or something?”
“What?” Grian said, eloquently.
Black’s eyes left the tentacle, meeting Grian’s wide-eyed look. “Your imposter shape? Form? Body? Is it like a squid, dude?”
Grian’s mouth opened and closed a few times, before he managed to gather himself enough to reply. “I… don’t know what a squid is,” he confessed, peering up at the taller man who was suddenly standing so close to him. “Are they also made of adaptable, shapeless matter?”
It was black’s turn to blink - and then the human threw his head back and laughed. Grian was mesmerized.
“Hah - not quite, little dude. Is that what you are, then? You look absolutely sick, bro. How do you do that? Even the colour is different,” and before Grian could ask if him looking ‘sick’ was meant to be a compliment, a worry, or an insult, Black had reached out and placed one hand on the tendril still hovering above Grian’s shoulder.
He couldn’t help it - he twitched, and then slumped a bit forward, biting back a content noise at the unexpected contact. He could taste Black’s curiosity through the touch, and his hand was warm and dry - and gentle. Black made an inquisitive sound, carefully caressing the tentacle as Grian went all but boneless in front of him.
“Huh. That feels different from what I was expecting. Are you sweating, or are you supposed to be that… moist? Slick? Slippery?”
Grian breathed - and opened his eyes, peering back up at the taller man. “Yeah, that’s normal.” And then, because he couldn’t help it, he added, “Black, you’re touching me.”
Black chuckled. “That I am, yes. But call me Ren, little dude - oh! I’m not hurting you, am I? Gosh darnit, I should have asked—”
“No, no, not at all,” Grian interrupted, the taste of Ren’s sudden worry settling like a bitter flavour in his mouth. “Feels nice, ‘s all. But I don’t, uh… I don’t need to feed right now, even if this is nice, so don’t feel like you have to—”
“Oh!” Ren exclaimed, blinking as he seemed to, finally, remember what Grian had told the crew that touching meant for imposters. “Well - I don’t mind, so unless you’d rather I didn’t, it’s fine, isn’t it? Nothing wrong with indulging in a small snack every now and then,” he added with a wink that made Grian’s heartbeat pick up in his chest.
“I don’t mind,” Grian replied, feeling faint and flushed.
Ren’s hand remained where it was.
—
Yellow and Blue cornered Grian one morning, just as he was leaving the sleeping quarters. He’d been about to climb down the ladder into the cafeteria when two gloved hands, one deep blue and one yellow, had grabbed onto his, one on each side, halting him in his tracks and pulling him backwards until the back of his knees hit a bed. Before Grian could ask what was going on, Blue had sat him down, and started speaking.
“First of all, none of these silly code names. I’m Skizzleman, Skizz for short, and that’s Impulse. We’re friends, you’re our friend, and there’s no way I’m calling you ‘red’ or ‘imposter’.”
Grian blinked up at the two of them, but whatever nervousness he might have been feeling drowned beneath the muted energy he felt radiating off of the two men still holding on to him, as well as the immediate declaration of friendship that made a smile appear on his face. “Um. Okay?”
Skizz smiled back, blue eyes as friendly as always. “Good. Now - doctor dippledop?”
Impulse replied before Grian could ask what in the world a ‘dippledop’ was. “Don’t mind Skizz’ nicknames, Grian. We just wanted to ask you some questions, if that’s okay?”
“Sure?”
Impulse had already been smiling - he always seemed to be, but Grian’s heart still fluttered when he saw the man’s smile widening into a grin, golden eyes glimmering down at him. “Cool. We’ve been thinking, you see, and we realised that we really don’t know much about how imposters function. Like - we know how you eat, sure,” he said, accentuating his words with a quick squeeze of Grian’s arm, “But how about the other stuff?”
“Other stuff?” Grian asked, not quite knowing what Impulse was referring to.
“Yeah!” Skizz shot in. “Like do you poop? Are there special imposter toilets? Or do you need to breathe? Or shower? Sleep? All of that jazz.”
Grian guwaffed out a laugh, pleased and curious all at once. “Why do you want to know?”
“We wanna make sure things are comfortable for you,” Impulse said, voice genuine and warm compared to Skizz’ more joking and lighthearted tone. “Is there anything that’s currently not comfortable for you here?”
And that… Grian felt his chest tighten, breath hitching slightly as he wondered just what he’d done to ever be deserving of this. Nothing came to mind - yet here he was, getting it anyway. He swallowed, looking between the two men.
“I mean, things are fine as they are, you know? I don’t need anything else than what I have as of right now.”
“Sure, but could something be better?” Skizz pressed. “Anything at all?
Grian looked down at his feet. “Maybe my nest? I can’t really think of anything else though. As I said, I really do have everything I need here.”
“Nest?” Impulse asked, intrigued.
Grian looked up at him. “Yeah, like - my bed, you know? Sleeping area?”
Impulse’s mouth formed into a small ‘o’, but it was Skizz that spoke next.
“Wait, so are imposters like birds?”
Again with the comparisons to things Grian had never even heard of. He shook his head fondly as he told the two of them much the same of what he’d told Ren. “I don’t know what a ‘bird’ is. Can they also shapeshift?”
“Nah,” Impulse said, pulling out his handheld device and fiddling with it for a few moments, letting go of Grian’s arm in the process, before presenting the smaller man with the picture of a colourful creature that was now filling the screen. “They’re a type of animal that lives on earth - typically small, feathered, and they create nests to lay their eggs,” Impulse explained.
Skizz’ eyes went wide. “Do you lay eggs, Grian?”
Another startled laugh escaped him. “What? No, I’m not - I’m not a, a female, I think would be the most accurate translation? Your sexes are strange,” Grian added, wrinkling his nose. “I can’t lay eggs, though I could carry them for a while, technically, if the imposter that laid the clutch for some reason was unable to. To answer your first question though - no, imposters don’t appear to be like your ‘birds’. Our nests are not for laying eggs. They’re for sleep, safety, and bonding.”
The two humans were quiet as they took that in - for all of a few seconds.
“Well now I have even more questions!” Skizz declared, letting go of Grian’s forearm to hook their elbows together. It made Grian feel warm, happy that Skizz wasn’t pulling away from him despite learning more and more about Grian’s other-ness.
“But back to the nests,” Impulse said, bringing the other two’s attention back to him. “What would we need to do to create one for you?”
“Oh,” Grian said, thinking as he considered the question. It had been a long time since he’d had a nest - a proper nest. Sure, on previous missions, after the crew had been gone, he’d gathered what he could to create a makeshift one… but it wasn’t quite the same without the community around it. There was meant to be family - no, that was not quite the right word. Pack? Friends? - represented within it, a kind of community space, meant for grooming, bonding, shared closeness… “It would probably need a bit of space,” Grian warned.
Impulse simply smiled at him, opening a blank document on his handheld device, the cursor blinking expectantly. “Tell us what we need to know, Gri.”
—
White had asked to meet Grian in the sleeping quarters after dinner one day, and he wasn’t quite sure what to expect from the meeting. As far as he knew, White was one of the crewmates that had been the most wary of him, after his imposter status became known - but, Grian reminded himself as he settled into the partially constructed nest to wait for the other man, White had still agreed to him staying on the ship. It couldn’t be all bad.
“Knock knock,” someone called out from beside where Grian had been lost in thought - and he looked up to see White standing at the edge of the beginnings of a comfortable nest where Grian was seated.
“Hi White,” he greeted, patting one of the stuffed cushions beside him invitingly. “Care to join me?”
“Oh, sure,” White said, toeing off his shoes before clambering onto the pile of pillows and blankets, careful not to touch Grian even as he settled in beside him. “Just Pungence though, if you don’t mind. Now, I’ll be frank with you - I have some concerns.”
Grian’s heart sped up as he felt a twinge of anxiety run through him. “Concerns? About what?”
“About you,” Pungence replied, matter-of-factly. He folded his hands and let them rest on his knees, leaning slightly forwards as he peered at Grian. “And, you know, your health.”
“My - my health?” Grian asked, incredulous. “What about my health?” He pulled a pillow onto his lap, squeezing it comfortingly.
Pungence cleared his throat. “Well, as you know, I have the responsibility of keeping track of the medical files gathered from the scans,” he began, only for Grian to cut him off.
“But I can’t scan,” Grian said. “What could you possibly have on me?”
“That’s just it,” Pungence said, not unkindly. “I don’t! And I want to make sure I know enough about your health and any related concerns that might be relevant, just in case you’re not able to tell us about it if anything were to come up.”
Grian’s heart lurched. Again, how did he get this lucky? “Oh.”
Pungence nodded, crossing his ankles as he leaned back into a lounging position, seemingly settling in for a long talk. “Yep. So please let me know what I need to know. Basic needs, reproductive health, mental health, possibility of illness or injuries - anything that might be relevant.”
Grian nodded, taking all of that in while gathering his thoughts before taking a deep breath.
“So, uh. Okay. Um. Obviously we need to feed. Imposters need sleep, too, just like humans - less of it, if we’re in our natural shape, but even then we still need some. Honestly, our needs are not terribly different to yours - at least, not when we’re in human shape ourselves. We’re kinda good at this whole mimicking-business,” Grian explained sheepishly, fiddling with the hem of his undershirt.
“Okay, good,” Pungence nodded, pulling his handheld out of one of the pockets of his white suit. He started writing down some notes, still looking down at the screen when he asked, “Are there any differences that might be relevant for us to know about?”
Grian scratched his nose. “Well, there’s the whole feeding-versus-reproduction-business, I guess. I don’t eat food, as you know, and imposters doesn’t have sex to reproduce. Our genders are not in the same system as yours - but for a lack of better term, I am male, in case you were wondering.”
Pungence had looked up at him while Grian spoke, and his mouth closed from where he’d undoubtedly been about to ask a follow up question, so Grian elaborated.
“Sex is both a source of energy, and a recreational activity. We have a system of three genders, and the reproductive process is quite simple, really. One group lays the eggs, another group - that would be me - fertilises them, and the third one carries the clutch to term, until the eggs are solid enough to survive outside of the body until they hatch.”
When Grian finished explaining, he met Pungence’s eyes, bright with fascination. “How many eggs are in a clutch? And, compared to a human cycle, at what frequency does this typically occur?”
“Usually no more than three or four eggs to a clutch,” Grian said, thinking back to the litter-mates he’d grown up with, what seemed like so long ago. Then, “As for how often… that part is a bit more tricky to answer.”
Pungence blinked. “How so?”
“Well,” Grian said, smiling ruefully, “Imposters can only stay with a proper pack if there’s a reliable food source available to them, you know? Which is quite rare - most of the packs are at the colonies, while the rest of us have to make do. Imposters outside of the colonies rarely travel more than two together, which I guess could work in a pinch, if the egg-layer and the inseminator were to take on the job of carrying the clutch themselves… but if they were in hiding, or on a mission - yeah, no, it just wouldn’t work.”
Pungence made an understanding sound. “That would complicate things, wouldn’t it.”
Grian nodded, then thoughtfully added, “It would. Our heat happens about quarterly though, but obviously no one actually produces a clutch each time. That’s just a way to make up for how rarely we’re in a safe enough position to actually reproduce, I believe.”
“Wait,” Pungence asked, sounding disbelieving. “Did you just say your heat?”
—
“Grian, my main man!”
The ‘main man’ in question turned his head, looking at where a green-clad crewmate - Tango - had just appeared behind him. “Yes?”
Tango gave him a toothy grin, red eyes lit up with a mischievous gleam. “The shwoopy-shwoopy card swiper is jammed again, so I was thinking of heading to weapons to take care of the asteroids while waiting for it to get fixed. Care to join me?”
“Asteroids?” Grian blinked, turning away from the corridor to the upper engine where he’d been about to go through. “I never have that task, Tango,” he gently added, tone questioning.
Tango was bouncing at the balls of his feet with excitement, eyes crinkling at the corner with obvious glee. “Except you totally do - as of today!”
“Oh!” Grian exclaimed, helpless to stop the nervous feeling bubbling up his stomach, even as a tentative smile spread across his face. “You’re the one showing me how it’s done, I’m guessing?”
“Got it in one! Come on,” Tango said in a sing-song voice - and then his hand clasped Grian’s, making the smaller man’s heartbeat surge - and the two of them were off.
As they entered weapons, Grian faced the big chair that suddenly seemed quite intimidating. “So, do I just… get in?”
Tango cackled, hand tightening around Grian’s own. “Pretty much it, yeah! Just for today though, we’ll both do it together. There’s only one chair, so you’ll have to bear with me being all up and personal in your bits - hope that’s okay?”
Grian huffed out a laugh, before lifting their enjoined hands. “As always, I’m fine with touch so long as you are.”
“Still doesn’t hurt to make sure,” Tango quipped - and plopped down in the big chair.
And due to his grip on Grian’s hand, the smaller man was yanked right down along with him.
Grian’s breath got knocked out of him with an ‘oof’ as his chest collided with the soft armrest of the chair, Tango’s snickers loud in his ear as the human finally let go of the hand he’d - apparently - taken hostage, clumsily helping Grian sit upright between his legs, Tango’s chest pressed up against Grian’s back.
Wheezing slightly, Grian muttered, “That was sus. Pretty sure I’ve seen you vent as well,” he joked, hoping Tango wouldn’t take offense, or that his joke would fall flat—
A loud bark of laughter sounded behind him, and Grian felt Tango’s chest shaking against his back, strong arms curling around Grian’s stomach as though it would help Tango calm down.
“Man,” Tango chuckled once he’d managed to calm himself down a bit more, “You’re a decent sort, mister Grian. Now, let’s take out some of these nearby asteroids that have been disturbing the ship’s sensors.”
“Pesky asteroids,” Grian nodded, licking his lips as he hesitatingly reached out and grabbed onto the controllers with both hands. “Any tips?” He felt warm and content, Tango’s frame a solid presence against him.
“Just point and shoot, G-man.”
—
Grian’s heat was approaching. It had become easier to recognize the signs over time, and how they manifested while in his human form - every shape was different. He was nervous though - this would be the first time he wouldn’t have to hide the fact since he left the colonies, back when he’d been barely older than a pup. Ever since, he’d either been in hiding or alone. No pack, no nest. Until now.
The first sign came when he woke up in his nest - surrounded by blankets and pillows, a few spare bedrolls lining the bottom and edges of the small half-pit Impulse and Skizz had helped him build out of some spare materials and deconstructed beds. He woke up around the time he usually did - but oh, did he still feel tired.
Warm, sleepy. Grian made a soft noise, and burrowed himself deeper into the pile of cushions. He wasn’t in full heat yet, but it was definitely approaching. He sighed, feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement. He didn’t know if any of the crew would be comfortable enough with him yet to want to spend his heat with him - and oh, what a notion, the fact that humans didn’t go through cycles like that, yet some of them had expressed interest in helping him out with his, anyway.
As he burrowed his nose into a pillow, he couldn’t help but mourn the fact that he could smell nothing but himself. He didn’t want to inconvenience anyone on the ship, but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to ask if he could, maybe, borrow an article of clothing from all of his crewmates? That way, even if they didn’t feel comfortable being his heat mate, he could still have them there.
Yeah, he should definitely ask them, Grian decided, and clumsily he made his way out of the nest, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he stumbled towards the main sleeping quarters, planning on making his way down to the cafeteria where his humans would be breaking their fast right about now.
Etho was seated at one of the round tables, and Grian made a beeline for him the moment he saw the cyan crewmate. He slumped into the seat next to the taller man, and leaned over so he could rest his head on Etho’s shoulder as they spoke.
“Hey there, Grian,” Etho greeted him, sounding slightly amused at the display of affection. “Sleep do you dirty?”
Grian shook his head. Being this close to the leader of their group - pack, his mind told him - was enough to make him go a bit boneless, feeling lethargy settling over his limbs. Etho was safe. “No, ‘s just my heat coming in,” Grian muttered, closing his eyes when he felt Etho’s hand brushing his hair away from his forehead. It felt nice.
“You’re very warm,” Etho commented.
He nodded, “Yeah, that’s part of it. I’m sleepy,” he added, rather needlessly. It was hard to keep his eyes open for long, and he was practically hanging off of the taller man.
Etho hummed, a twinge of worry colouring the sound. “Should you be doing tasks?”
Grian shrugged. “I’m not in full heat yet, so I should be fine. I used to have to work through it, or pretend to be sick for a few days, so I’m used to it. I might not be the most efficient today, though.”
Etho’s fingers carded through his hair. Grian made a soft noise, butting his head into the gentle touch.
“Anything I can do to help you prepare? I don’t know much about what you’ll need before or during it, and I want to help out, if I can.”
Grian’s heart fluttered. “Could I have one of your shirts? Or pillows, or anything that smells like you. My nest doesn’t feel right without all of you there,” he admitted, voice soft. “I don’t expect anyone to actually stay there with me, but it’d be nice to have all of your scents there.”
Etho made an agreeing hum. “Pungence told us that imposter heats are more for bonding, and less about, uh, reproduction. Is it still a sex thing? Or just platonic? Because I’m sure we can figure something out with the rest of the crew as well. If you and they are okay with it, of course.”
“It can be both. And I’d love to have the crew take part,” Grian admitted. Then, “But only if they want to. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable - I’ll be fine just with their scents there, I promise.”
Etho hummed. “I’d still like to talk to the crew, if you don’t mind? You’re allowed to ask for things, just like how they are allowed to simply say ‘no’ if they don’t want to. You should not take away their choice of getting involved if that’s something both parties would want, but you’re afraid to ask for.”
If anything, Grian felt even warmer, even more pliant, at Etho’s words. He sniffled. Heats always made him emotional.
“Okay,” he finally agreed. “You can talk to the crew.”
—
Brown was, surprisingly, the first one to approach him. It was only a few hours later, and Grian had been blinking dazedly at the wires he was supposed to be connecting, when a voice called out a celebratory ‘a-ha!’, as if Grian had been purposefully hiding from him, oblivious and clueless to it as he might have been.
Grian turned towards the voice, a greeting for Pungence already ready on his lips - only to see Brown walking up to him, rather than his brother.
The two of them really did sound eerily alike.
“Hi Brown,” Grian said, offering up a smile to the other man. “What’s up?”
“Oh, I will tell you what is up,” Brown declared, before pulling a bag off of his shoulder - and promptly dumping it in Grian’s fumbling hands.
Grian looked down at the bag, wondering what in the world his crewmate was up to. “What’s this?”
“That is a shirt and some sweatpants, belonging to yours truly - as well as Pungence’s pillow. I heard you haven’t been sleeping as well as you should, and my brother explained that this would help? Sleep is very important, you know! I’ll be sure to stop by your bed-nest-thing tonight, to make sure you’re getting proper rest, too. Etho told me.”
“Oh,” Grian breathed, hands tightening around the shoulder strap of the bag. “I - thank you, Brown. That’s— I really appreciate it, just… don’t feel like you have to do anything more than you’re comfortable with, you know?”
“It’s fine,” Brown huffed, but Grian could hear the smile in his voice. “And it’s Bdubs. If we’re going to nap together, we should at the very least be on first name basis, don’t you agree?”
Grian couldn’t help but smile, heart fluttering pleasantly in his chest as the feeling of belonging spread through him. He nodded. “Yes - yes. Again, thank you. Bdubs.”
—
He had to give up on tasks halfway through the day. His skin was flushed with fever, and he’d kept almost nodding off - and then there was the fact that the crew had apparently taken Etho’s words to heart; Grian found himself approached by crewmate after crewmate, all of them wanting to offer him an article of clothing, a pillow, blanket - anything soft that would carry their scent.
At some point it’d gotten too tiring to keep hauling everything around, and Grian could practically feel the nest calling to him. After asking Ren to pass the message over to Etho, Grian had made his way back to the room beside the sleeping quarters, blissfully sinking into the pile of pillows as his heavy body went lax.
He didn’t sleep - the nest still wasn’t quite right, it still didn’t smell of them - so after resting for a while, Grian sat up and started digging through the pile of presents he’d gotten.
He took his time, feeling calm and boneless, as he carefully sorted through the articles of clothing, and the assortment of pillows and blankets he’d been gifted. Grian took great care with arranging everything, scattering all the things that smelled like his crew, smelled like it belonged to him, all around the nest that was growing cozier by the minute.
With a hum of appreciation, Grian wrapped Ren’s blanket around his shoulders, burrowed his nose in Etho’s sweatshirt, and fell into an easy sleep.
—
When Grian awoke, it was to a slight headache. He frowned as he regained consciousness, ears slowly picking up on the sound that had probably been what had woken him up.
“-is it okay, though?”
“That’s what he told me. He’s probably going to want to feed at some point though - or at least, he should be.”
“But why can’t we just join him then!” someone demanded. Through his sleep-addled mind, Grian thought it might be Bdubs.
The next person to speak was undoubtedly Etho. “Because we don’t know what he’s okay with yet. I know you want to help, but be patient - look, he’s waking up now, and you can ask him yourself.”
Grian made a grumpy sound at having been caught, but he dutifully blinked his eyes open, and through his sleep-blurred vision, he could see four of his crewmates standing at the edge of the nest, peering down at him. Etho and Bdubs, like he’d heard, but also Ren and Scar, both smiling kindly as they watched him wake up.
Grian rubbed his eyes with a loose fist. “Hi?”
“Hey Grian,” Etho greeted with an amused smile. “Mind if we join you?”
Warmth spread through Grian’s limbs - and he was too content to do much more than hum and pat the cushions next to him, the invite clear.
Once the four men had joined him - all spread around and making Grian feel almost close to tears with how right, how good it was - he blindly started moving over to the body closest to his. He paused when he could feel the heat radiating off of the person, and he raised his head to blink down at the man, who turned out to be Bdubs.
“If you’re not okay with cuddling, now’s the time to speak up,” Grian warned, only to gratefully sink into the other man’s embrace when Bdubs’ only reaction was a chuckle and two arms raised in invitation.
—
They’d rearranged themselves throughout the night.
When Grian next blinked his eyes open, he found himself sandwiched between Ren and Scar. The feeling of damp breath tickling his neck was enough to make him shiver pleasantly, and he made a small sound of contentedness before snuggling further into the arms around him.
“Psst!”
Huh. Apparently someone had woken him up. Grian slowly sat up, feeling flushed and a bit heavy, and peered over the edge of the nest. Impulse and Skizz were standing side by side, smiling and grinning at him respectively.
“Mind if we join in on the cuddle party?” Skizz asked.
Grian spread his arms out. “‘course, get in.” When the two men settled down on the other side of the nest - not touching him - Grian frowned. “No no, get over here, please.” He was, perhaps, becoming a bit greedy. He couldn’t help it though - there was just so much affection surrounding him. So much safety, so much warmth. A little bit more wouldn’t hurt, surely.
Impulse chuckled at him, causing Grian to pout, making grabbing motions towards the two of them - and soon enough, Grian was surrounded by more hands, more warm bodies.
Deep breaths and sleepy murmurs. Strong backs and firm chests and soft bellies, a cold nose pressed into the crook of his neck. Long fingers wrapped around his wrist, a thumb stroking across his hip bone. Someone was playing with his hair.
He felt a bit drunk with it. Giddy, almost. Grian couldn’t remember ever feeling this content, this full, this satisfied.
—
Grian grumbled when the lights started fading in, simulating an earth sunrise, signifying that it was time for the crew to wake up and start the day.
He knew the night couldn’t last forever - his crew needed to feed, they couldn’t survive on physical affection alone like he could - and there were always tasks to be done.
When the humans in the nest started making sleepy sounds of newly gained consciousness, stretching out and starting to make their ways out of the pile of cushions and bodies, Grian was right there with them.
“Woah woah, where are you going?”
Grian looked up at Etho, eyelids heavy and head pounding. “I’m joining you for breakfast?”
Etho snorted, and gently ushered Grian back towards the comfort of the nest. “No you’re not. We’ve worked out a schedule for cuddle times - all voluntary, don’t worry. Think of it as having breakfast in bed,” Etho said, grinning mischievously, before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of Grian’s head.
Face burning, Grian slumped back into the pile of pillows and blankets. He was only sulking a little bit.
“Who’s having breakfast in bed?”
Grian looked past Etho’s shoulder at Tango, who’d just walked into the room.
Tango greeted the humans with a nod and a smile, before turning towards Grian. “Usually I’d find that quite unsanitary, but taking everything into context, that does seem rather fitting.” He waggled his eyebrows, causing the others to chuckle as they took their leave, the sounds of footsteps and laughter fading until only Grian, Etho, and Tango were left.
Grian’s heart was pounding, even though he was pretty sure Tango was just teasing. Mostly. Probably.
“You still up for it?” Etho asked, tilting his head in Tango’s direction.
Tango was unzipping his protective suit, leaving him in his thermo layer as he nodded. “Sure am! If our favourite imposter here is down, I’m sure I’ll be able to keep him busy until the next person comes over around lunch time.”
Grian blinked. “Busy?”
“You know,” Tango winked, before climbing into the nest. He wasn’t touching Grian, not yet, but Grian’s mind was still reeling with the implications.
“Wait,” Grian said, rather needlessly. Nothing was happening yet, but he still felt the need to say it, having to make sure he was understanding things correctly, heat-sleepy and slow as he was. “You’d… be okay with that? And - Etho? You as well?”
“Oh, Grian,” Etho said, eyes crinkling at the corners with the width of his smile. “We’d be more than just okay with it. We want it. If you do, too, then… well. What the two of you decide to do together until the next person comes around is your business - unless you decide to make it my business later. I don’t mind either way. Have fun, you two!”
With that, Etho left, as if he hadn’t just made Grian’s brain short circuit just a bit.
“Hey, hot stuff,” Tango said, making Grian turn his head towards the crewmate who was still lounging a respectable distance away. The human smiled when their eyes met. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable here. I’m simply putting my interests out there, and letting you know that I’m down for whatever you decide you want to do. Doesn’t matter to me if that is cuddling, or talking, or sleeping, or sex.”
“Huh,” Grian said, rather intelligently. Then, because thinking was exhausting when he was as tired as he was, “Maybe a nap first? I don’t think my brain is quite awake yet,” he said, smiling at the other man. “And then, after, we can… well. Do whatever we want, I suppose.”
Tango’s smile went gentle around the edges. “Sounds good to me. Wanna cuddle?”
And like it always did when his crew offered, so open and accepting, Grian’s heart gave a squeeze in his chest. “Yes please.”
When Tango spread his arms, Grian didn’t hesitate to crawl over to him, halfway draping himself across Tango’s chest, feeling strong arms wrap around his back. He hummed with content as the other man chuckled at him, chest moving beneath Grian’s cheek.
Tango’s breathing was steady, rhythmic. Grian found his own breath growing to match it, a deep sense of content draping over him, only pulling him further towards sleep when one of Tango’s hands moved to settle at the nape of his neck, deft fingers playing with his hair.
“‘m tired,” Grian mumbled, eyelids closing without him telling them to do so. He was so warm.
“It’s okay, Grian. Sleep well.”
And he did.
—
He woke up much the same way he’d fallen asleep; fingers in his hair, a firm chest beneath his cheek, and a steady heartbeat thrumming gently against his ear. Warmth all around him.
He lifted his head up, peering sleepily up at Tango, only to find the other man already looking down at him. Tango’s mouth widened into a smile. “Hey there, sleepy head. Have a nice nap?”
“Mm, yes. You make for a very comfortable pillow, you know,” Grian replied, giving a soft smile of his own.
“So I’ve been told, actually,” Tango chuckled, making Grian move with the motions of his rib cage expanding. Then the other man seemed to settle down, one hand still on Grian’s neck, and he hummed contently as he seemed to wait for Grian to decide when and if he wanted to move.
Grian searched Tango’s features curiously, taking in his freckled skin and bed-rustled hair. His deep red eyes were watching him patiently, and Grian found himself flushing at the attention. He could taste the way Tango’s interest swelled as the other man noticed the way Grian’s skin was turning red, and the imposter bit his lip. The flavour of it was so sweet. He wanted to keep tasting it.
Tango arched an eyebrow, a question lingering on his features, the hand on Grian’s neck slowly trailing downwards, following the dip of his spine.
Grian’s breath hitched, and he nodded, face already turned upwards as his mouth sought out the other man’s.
Tango’s lips met his easily, and Grian shivered when the other man hummed against him. He couldn’t help but to part Tango’s lips with his own, wanting to taste that sound, to feel it pouring from the other’s mouth and into his own.
“What do you want,” Tango murmured against his lips, voice low.
Grian’s tongue darted out to lick at Tango’s bottom lip, just a brief touch, before he replied, just as soft as the other man had spoken. “Would you let me blow you?”
Tango chuckled, and it sounded a bit wild. Grian could feel excitement and heat and want, pouring off of him in thick, delicious waves. “Only if you’ll let me return the favour after.”
“Deal.”
Grian scooted down Tango’s body, shivering when the other man’s hand trailed up his back, until he’d settled himself comfortably between Tango’s legs, his forearms resting on firm thighs. He looked up and met Tango’s eyes again. “Tell me if you start feeling weak or dizzy, okay? I can’t exactly stop feeding off of your energy, but I’ll be holding back as much as I can.”
“Sounds good to me,” Tango replied, his hand settling in Grian’s hair once more. “I trust you though. Etho’s been fine all this time, and I don’t doubt you’ll be careful with me as well - except for if I ask you not to be, that is.” The last part was added with a wink, and Grian couldn’t help but snort, smile widening even as he started peeling Tango’s layers off.
The human helpfully raised his hips to make it easier for Grian to slide the bottom half of his thermo layers down, and then his underwear. They left both around Tango’s knees, not bothered with undressing completely; they were too comfortable to move too much, an unspoken agreement between them.
Tango wasn’t hard, but Grian didn’t let that dissuade him. Tango’s interest in him was obvious, and the man’s excitement was as prominent as the hand in Grian’s hair.
He leaned in, tilting his head, and let his lips skim softly over the warm skin of Tango’s shaft. At Tango’s deep breath, Grian pressed a few soft kisses gently up and down the length of him, one hand leaving Tango’s thigh to stroke his cock, coaxing him towards hardness and giving Grian easier access for his mouth.
He was rewarded with a groan, and the length in his hand began to fill in, twitching at Grian’s attention. His hand kept stroking while he leaned in further, to nuzzle against the base of Tango’s cock, parting his lips and sucking gently at the skin he found there.
Grian let go momentarily to lick his own palm, before going back to pressing open-mouthed kisses up and down Tango’s length, his hand starting to work the head of Tango’s cock, teasing more gasps and moans out of the taller man.
Tango’s arousal grew, and Grian found himself with a mouthful of sweetness - enough so that it made him start salivating. That was all the encouragement he needed to shift his grip to the base of Tango’s dick, Grian’s neck straining so he could lean up and wrap his lips around the head.
“Ah, shit,” Tango cried out, hips twitching beneath Grian’s weight holding him down. When the smaller man hollowed his cheeks and sucked, Tango added breathlessly, “Fuck, your mouth is so sweet.”
Grian hummed around his mouthful, and started bobbing his head gently, making the head of Tango’s cock glide across his tongue. He adjusted the angle slightly, and then the head was bumping carefully against his soft palate every time Grian moved downwards. Tango’s fingers tightened around a handful of his hair, breathy curses escaping him as he rocked his hips gently.
When Grian glanced up, Tango’s head was tilted back into the pillows, chest heaving. He was glad Tango was enjoying himself - Grian certainly was.
He let his tongue rub against the length, before pulling back so he could trace the veins up to the swell of the head, tongueing at the seams of it, licking at the slit. A spurt of precome hit his tongue, and he moaned, appreciating the way Tango’s hand was trembling even as it tugged at his hair. He didn’t think Tango was conscious of the action, but that didn’t mean Grian wasn’t enjoying it.
Grian let his hand stroke up the full length a few times as he sucked at the head, coaxing more sounds and precome from the taller man. When his hand returned to the base of the cock, his mouth followed it.
Tango bucked against him, hips thrusting wildly when Grian’s lips touched his hand, and the smaller man swallowed around him, accomodating for the way the movement forced the head of Tango’s dick down his throat.
“Oh, oh—” Tango gasped out, one hand tugging at Grian’s hair to keep him where he was, the other one gripping the pillow next to him. Grian swallowed again, feeling Tango’s cock twitch in his throat at the added stimulation.
His head was throbbing dully, but that was okay. Grian applied more suction as he pulled back, tongue dragging over the skin in his mouth as he bobbed his head a few more times - and then he sank down again, pulling his hand away to settle on the taller man’s thigh. Tango’s hand on his head helped guide him down until Grian’s lips met coarse hair, and he was rewarded with a deep moan.
Grian felt Tango’s pleasure so vividly, filling him up and making him groan as he realised how hard he was. He rutted against the sheets, feeling his dick throb against the soft fabric of the sweatpants he was wearing—
The friction felt wonderful, and his mind was going a bit hazy with the heat, the pressure, with Tango’s lust flowing into him, the heavy cock in his mouth, the sweet sound of moans in his ears. There was a damp spot where Grian’s dick was leaking precome as he grinded against the cushions of the nest - and with a start, he realised that the sweatpants belonged to Bdubs, that he was wearing the pair the man had gifted him the day before his heat had started.
Grian drew back far enough to moan, a desperate, loud thing that tore from his chest. Then he threw himself back down, greedily sucking Tango’s dick down as far as he could.
Tango cried out, hips bucking again. “Shit, G—” The hand he had on Grian’s hair twitched. “C-can I move?”
Grian pulled back, face red at the wet sound it made when his mouth left Tango’s cock. His voice was hoarse when he replied, “Yes. Please.”
Tango shivered, and when Grian’s mouth was on him again, both hands settled in Grian’s hair. Grian relaxed his jaw, tongue pressing up against the warm skin in his mouth, and he surrendered himself to the taller man’s control. The hands in his hair tightened their grip.
And then, Tango was moving.
There were a few moments of uncomfortable pressure against the back of his throat while Grian tried to work with the new rhythm, but it was so worth it when he managed to swallow Tango down at his next thrust inwards, and he was rewarded with the sound of Tango’s devastated groan, so deep and drawn out that it made Grian’s toes curl, a shudder making its way down his spine, hips jerking as he felt himself give another spurt of precome.
Tango moved, but the man also moved him. The strain in Grian’s neck was worth it for the ease in his muscles, and the way Tango was filling him up.
Grian loved this - the closeness, the intimacy, the energy pouring off of the human and making Grian’s very skin feel alive, sensitive and thrumming with need.
“I’m close, G,” Tango panted out, and Grian could tell it was true - the energy radiating off of Tango was increasing, growing more potent and delicious, and the man’s rhythm was beginning to falter. “W-want me to pull out?”
Grian couldn’t exactly shake his head, but his hands were free; he used them to tighten his grip on Tango’s thighs, squeezing them reassuringly as he used the grip to pull Tango closer, hopefully making his intentions to keep the man in his mouth for as long as Tango would let him clear.
Tango’s grip on his hair went slack for a few moments, allowing the smaller man to pull back if he so chose to. Grian did not want to.
When he forced himself back down again, taking Tango in as deep as he could go, the taller man’s moan had an almost desperate ring to it. Grian’s hips grinded into the sheets below him.
Then Tango’s hands became unrelentingly hard, holding him down and giving Grian little choice but to keep the position he was in; Tango’s cock hot and throbbing, down his throat. If Grian had had any room to moan, he would have. He clung to Tango as he felt the man’s dick start pulsating gently, eyes tearing up as Tango’s energy peaked.
The sensation was overwhelming.
Grian didn’t even realise he was breathing again until he heard his own gasping breaths in response to Tango hauling him off of his cock and up, until Grian was sprawled across Tango’s chest. There was a light tremble to the arms that wrapped around his back, but the touch was still comforting.
“Holy shit.”
Grian took a few more steadying breaths - and then he started giggling. When he managed to raise his head out of the crook of Tango’s neck enough to catch sight of the other man’s expression, his laughter only increased.
“Holy shit!”
“You already said that,” Grian chuckled out. The arms around him tightened.
“Yeah, but I felt it needed repeating. That was amazing, G-man! Just. Wow!” Tango’s eyes were wide, and still just a bit glazed over. Grian’s chuckles simmered down as he took in the minute differences in how Tango looked just then, moments after his orgasm.
It was obvious he’d been biting his lip at some point - it was slightly swollen, and there was still a slight indent where his teeth had dug into the flesh. Tango’s jaw was relaxed, and despite the fact that he wasn’t currently smiling, Grian could tell that he was happy. The man’s eyes when they met his own were… strangely soft.
“Well, gorgeous,” Tango said after his breathing calmed down. “You’ve certainly taken good care of me. Would you allow me to take care of you, too?”
Grian perked up. By that point he was only half hard - erection partly forgotten, pressed into the dip of Tango’s hipbone, as he’d basked in the feeling of content Tango was giving him. “Sure, if you still want to?”
Tango’s lips curled. “Trust me, G; I do.”
Grian shivered as the man’s voice went pleasantly deep, the last word all-but growled out. “Then by all means. How do you want me?”
Tango’s grin widened, “Depends on what you wanna do! After an orgasm like that, my hands and mouth are at your service, sir.”
Grian giggled again. “Well, I’m pretty partial to kisses, so why don’t we make out while you get your hands on me?”
“Ooh, question!” Tango exclaimed, palms sliding down Grian’s sides as he held the smaller man close. “Do you like fingering? Because as I see it, we’re in a pretty good position to get you off right now, actually.” He accentuated his point by gripping Grian’s hips and pulling him in, making the smaller man grind down against Tango as the taller man raised his thigh, giving Grian something to rub against.
“Oh—” Grian gasped, feeling his dick twitch at the sudden friction. His forehead sank down to rest against Tango’s shoulder again as he shuddered, repeating the gyrating motions of his hips a few more times as Tango hummed encouragingly underneath him. “Oh please, yes.”
Tango’s hands moved again, broad palms stroking over Grian’s lower back, leaving behind a warm trail, slowly moving down until he was palming at Grian’s ass through the sweatpants he was still wearing.
The smaller man cried out when Tango squeezed, and Grian revelled in it, in the way his body was responding, moving almost without him having to tell it to as he kept grinding against Tango’s thigh.
“That’s it, gorgeous,” Tango breathed out, close enough that it rustled Grian’s hair as he spoke.
Grian gasped out a laugh as Tango’s hands moved to dip beneath the waistband of his sweatpants, palming at naked skin, spreading him— “G-gorgeous?”
He could hear the smile on Tango’s voice when he replied. “Well, yeah. You are. So, so pretty,” he hummed out, and Grian was trembling against him, shudders travelling down his spine as he rocked his hips, rutting against Tango’s thigh.
Tango’s fingers dug into the cheeks of his ass, and when they moved to rub small circles over his hole, Grian moaned helplessly, slumping down further onto the taller man. “I should’ve thought of lube,” he muttered, the realisation suddenly hitting him.
Hoarse laughter shook the firm chest he was lying on. “Don’t worry G, I came prepared.”
Grian’s face was red; he could feel the heat of it flushing his skin. As if he’d needed more proof that the other man really did want him like this, that Etho not minding being with him wasn’t a fluke, that Grian really was the luckiest being in the galaxy to be given so much—
There was some shifting of weight as Tango fished a small bottle out of his pants’ pockets, still bundled somewhere around his feet as it was, but then there was the sound of a cap opening, and soon warm, slick fingers were trailing down the cleft of his ass.
Grian rubbed his forehead into the crook of Tango’s neck, breathing heavily as he waited for the man’s fingers to press in, heart pounding with anticipation.
“Don’t stop moving, gorgeous. I want you to get off on me.”
Grian barely had the time to gasp, already scrambling to do what Tango asked him to, when two fingers pressed in, causing Grian to moan loudly as the pleasure flared up in him, heat licking at his insides, pooling low in his stomach as his hips twitched.
“O-oh, stars,” Grian gasped out, breathlessly laughing at himself as he started humping Tango’s leg, clinging to the taller man as Tango started moving his fingers, thrusting lazily in and out.
There was a kiss pressed to the side of his head, and Tango was pumping his fingers, curling them slightly and dragging against his insides. “That’s it,” Tango said, sounding slightly breathless.
Grian’s dick throbbed against Tango’s thigh. He knew he was the warm one between them, but Tango’s touch felt scalding. Grian was getting close already, and that made him laugh deliriously, chuckles escaping him once again. “I - ah - I’m close, Tango,” he said.
Tango’s hands slowed down, and Grian whined at the feeling of a third finger circling his rim, feeling the tension of his muscles - before pressing in, joining the two already inside him. “How’s that?” Tango breathed.
Grian could barely feel his limbs, heat and friction overriding the sensations with static, tingling and all-consuming. “Please move,” was the only reply he was capable of giving, arching his back as he pushed himself back into Tango’s hands.
Another kiss was pressed to the side of his head—
Then, Tango was fucking him with his fingers. Tango was fucking him—
Grian cried out as his back went taut, hips rutting frantically as he grinded against Tango’s thigh, leaving a trail of precome on the man’s skin, warm hands spreading him open and pulling him in as fingers worked his prostate to the point where Grian’s eyes were tearing up.
He tumbled over the edge, head-first into an orgasm as he came, clenching down on Tango’s fingers as he wailed out his relief as the tension in him snapped, spilling all over Tango’s thigh and making an even bigger mess of the two of them.
Tango’s fingers slowed down to a leisurely pace as Grian came down, until he was barely moving inside of him, just the faintest hint of a caress against his inner walls as Grian shuddered on top of him, relaxing down on top of Tango’s frame.
For a few moments, the two of them lay still, only the sound of elevated breathing filling the quiet in the room.
Then, Tango’s fingers pulled out, slowly, and he absentmindedly wiped the lube off on his own thigh before moving his hands until they were both wrapped around Grian’s back once more.
“How are you holding up, gorgeous?”
Grian made a small sound, resisting the urge to just burrow himself further into Tango’s embrace, and raised his head until their eyes could meet. “Good. Sleepy,” he said, feeling like his brain was full of fog.
Tango was smiling gently at him. “Did you enjoy yourself? I did, even if you made me all sticky.”
Grian’s heart was fluttering, even as his eyelids grew heavy. He blinked rapidly, trying to keep his eyes open. “I’m glad. That was really nice.” He yawned, big enough to make his eyes tear up a bit. “Sorry for making you sticky. Sleep?”
Tango snickered at him, and one hand started trailing up and down Grian’s spine. It felt nice. His head was slowly drooping downwards, the crook of Tango’s neck looking really comfortable, luring him in…
“I guess I can stay sticky for a little while longer.”
Grian was already gone, dozing against Tango’s shoulder, the comforting feeling of fingers on his skin the last thing he was aware of.
—
Grian drifted in and out of sleep for a while. He was warm and content, pleasantly full, and the two of them had murmuring conversations when Grian’s brain was conscious enough for them to do so.
“Hey, so…”
“Hm?”
“How come imposters usually kill people when you obviously don’t need to? In order to feed, I mean?”
The topic was a bit morbid, but Grian sensed no judgement in Tango’s words. His nose was pressed lightly to Tango’s throat, and his pulse was a steady thrum against his skin. Warm fingers were tracing mindless patterns over the skin of his back. Grian swallowed.
“I’ve… been on other ships before. Humans are not usually like you - at least, not in my experience. Not right away. I’ve never… been cared for before, not in this way? But you do. Your energy towards me is - let’s say, renewable? Because it’s real. Lust, affection, care, love. It’s all real with you. It doesn’t stop.”
Tango gave an agreeing hum, wordlessly asking Grian to continue. The hands on his back didn’t falter.
“I guess we never considered what I have now as a possibility. The need to feed becomes too strong before we reach this level of trust, and then we end up using our… abilities… to influence your feelings towards us. Twisting it. But those feelings aren’t real. So they’re not renewable. So we end up draining you,” Grian said, voice breaking as he whispered out, “and then you die.”
“But you don’t want to do that anymore,” Tango said. It wasn’t a question.
Grian shook his head, face still pressed against Tango’s throat, hiding from his gaze. “No. I never did.”
“Couldn’t you have held back? Like you do with us?”
Grian shrugged. “I could have. The humans would have survived, then.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
Grian whispered, “Because I didn’t want to die.”
“Oh.”
Tango’s arms tightened around him. Grian laughed, but it sounded weak. “Yeah. I’m a bit selfish in that regard. They didn’t trust me, so they would have killed me if they found out. I’ve seen it happen, so that’s what I used to think would always be the case - you guys are proving me wrong every day though, so I have to admit I don’t feel very good about my past choices. Maybe I killed all of those people for nothing. Why do I deserve to live at the cost of their lives, you know?”
“Grian, no,” Tango protested gently, stroking down his side. “I don’t think there is a morally ‘correct’ answer, here. Yes, killing is wrong. Humans still do it all the time. Is one person’s life worth more than others? Who’s to say? I certainly can’t. And if you’re selfish, then so am I. I’m glad you’re here. We do what we need to to survive. Humans can be some real dicks, so there’s no guarantee that they wouldn’t have simply ejected you if you exposed yourself, even if you did it to prove that you meant them no harm. We’re kinda complicated creatures,” Tango chuckled.
The room went quiet for a while as the two of them thought, and though the topic was heavy and they were careful with their words, it wasn’t exactly tense.
Tango was still holding him. Grian felt safe, there, surrounded by the scent of his crewmates, warm and content in his nest.