Chapter Text
[Port of Sendai (Sendai, Japan), 17:22, 2017.07.05]
When Kyoutani walks up to him, Iwaizumi is busy carving what appears to be a wooden figurine of… well, something , but Kyoutani can’t really tell what it is. It looks kind of like a kangaroo.
“Hey. I got us a new client.”
Iwaizumi looks away from the wood to face Kyoutani. “Oh, Kyoutani! Great job, who is it?”
Kyoutani goes a little pink at the praise, then clears his throat. “Uh, there’s this hunt going on. Hanamaki Takahiro, y’know, that popular singer?”
The look on Iwaizumi’s face says that he very much does not know who that is, but Kyoutani continues anyways. “Well, he says it’s a treasure hunt and that he wants us to find some old heirlooms. Says they were his grandma’s. Here’s, uh, here’s his flyer, his bodyguard dropped it off for us specifically.”
Iwaizumi is almost blinded by the bright pink paper that Kyoutani hands him. “What an… interesting flyer.”
“He’s a real weirdo.”
Iwaizumi just hums at Kyoutani’s rude comment, after all, it’s pretty mild considering the things he’s heard from Kyoutani’s fights with Yahaba. “HANAMAKI’S TREASURE HUNT!” stares back at him in bold lettering. The paper promises a “big prize” to anyone that finds the heirlooms, but Iwaizumi is skeptical.
“Are you not concerned about the vague payment offer?”
Kyoutani just shrugs. “You said I shouldn’t be hung up on that stuff since we’ve got more than enough money, so that’s what I’m doing.”
The admission makes Iwaizumi grin. “Well, if you sure, then I’m on board. Let’s tell the others, and then…” he raises an eyebrow as he glances at the paper, “…RSVP for a meeting at his house? He makes it sound like some kind of house party. It says drinks and board games will be provided.”
“Told you he’s a weirdo.”
“I’m starting to get that. By the way, what do you think about this frog statue I’m carving? I think I’ve really got the details this time,” Iwaizumi holds up the kangaroo-looking hunk of wood.
Kyoutani squints. “It’s… great.”
[Oikawa’s Bounty-Hunting Co. (Sendai, Japan), 17:22, 2017.07.05]
“Alright, boys, I think we can really do this one this time!” Oikawa holds up a bright pink flyer, pointing excitedly. The rest of the group looks dubious or confused by the offending color, and Kunimi looks like he wants nothing more than to brain Oikawa with a metal pipe and then take a nap.
Matsukawa levels him with a bored stare as they take turns reading the paper. “That’s what you said about the last, like, five hunts we’ve done.”
“Yeah, well, this one is going to be different!”
“You also said that about the last five hunts.”
“Literally stop talking right now, Mattsun, that’s an order from your captain.”
“Ugh, pulling rank on your right hand man is so yesterday… Hey, wait, is this Hanamaki as in Hanamaki Takahiro?!”
Oikawa sighs and tries to mentally prepare himself for what’s about to happen.
Matsukawa starts yelling, and everyone immediately tries to leave the room. “Oh my god, oh my god, Hanamaki Takahiro, he wants my- I mean, our- help this is so cool this is so fucking cool Oikawa you know that I’m about to cry right I mean it’s Hanamaki Takahiro oh my fucking god we have to go we have to RSVP oh my god I have to pick out my oufit I have to look good because I’m going to fucking meet Hanamaki Takahiro oh my god I’ve got to shave hey Kindaichi help me pick out a shirt I’m thinking maybe the blue one or that nice white one, you know what I’m talking about, right, which one would look better with his signature on it-”
[Cut for length.]
[Hanamaki Residence (Tokyo, Japan), 18:43, 2017.07.13]
“Hm. Seems we’re a little early, but there’s nothing wrong with that,” Iwaizumi smiles as he faces his party, not noticing that the door is silently opening behind him. He’s confused when everyone steps back suddenly and points behind him.
The next thing he knows, he’s on the floor, stomach down, the wind entirely knocked out of him. A man is currently on top of him, and he’s yelling, but Iwaizumi’s ears are ringing slightly too loud to decipher his speech.
[Hanamaki Residence (Tokyo, Japan), 18:44, 2017.07.13]
When Oikawa and his party walk up to Hanamaki’s house [read: huge fucking mansion], the first thing he sees a Hanamaki chattering excitedly on top of an extremely built man who is sprawled on the floor. Sure, Hanamaki’s been on the news for weirder things, but Oikawa still isn’t sure what to make of the situation. Matsukawa is standing next to him, video-recording everything.
“This is the best day of my entire life,” he whispers.
Oikawa clears his throat awkwardly. “Hi, uh, am I interrupting something? I’m here for the treasure hunt.”
Hanamaki’s grin gets impossibly wider, quickly scrambling off of the man and enveloping Oikawa in a hug. Oikawa makes some kind of shocked noise in his throat as Hanamaki starts talking about how glad he was that he showed up. Hanamaki escorts Oikawa’s party into his house and motions to a couple bodyguards to lead Iwaizumi and his group.
Hanamaki and Matsukawa are talking animatedly the entire time, and somehow, by the time they get to the meeting room, Matsukawa has Hanamaki’s signature on his cheek and they’re discussing why American football is a homoerotic sport.
Hanamaki opens the door and motions everyone inside. “There’s Capri Sun and some games on the table, and make yourself comfortable, I bought those chairs just for you!”
[Hanamaki Residence (Tokyo, Japan), 19:00, 2017.07.13]
“I suppose you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today,” Hanamaki waggles his eyebrows as he slowly paces the room, circling both groups. Oikawa and Kindaichi pause their game of Disney Princess Candy Land to give him their full attention.
Iwaizumi raises his eyebrow, sipping from his Paw Patrol-themed Capri Sun (the only other choice was My Little Pony). “We RSVP’ed, we know what we’re getting into.”
Hanamaki waves his hand. “RSVP is a social construct.”
“But… you asked us to RSVP.”
“Psh, what nonsense. Anyways, I brought you here for a very important mission,” his expression turns serious, “My grandma passed away recently, and she willed me quite the item: a pair of jade earrings first worn by my great-great-great-great-great-grandma back in the day. I’d really like to find it because I think it would look great for the debut of my band's new album, but my grandma just left me a map of the forest and a starting clue, like she did when I was young. I loved that kind of stuff. But, uh, this one is really hard. I don’t even know where to begin.”
Hanamaki snaps his fingers once, and suddenly, both Iwaizumi and Oikawa are handed a map, a scrap of paper, and a notepad with a pen. Neither of them have time to properly inspect the items or the clue before Hanamaki starts talking again.
“So now I’m letting you all fight for it! Some friendly competition, but not really, because only one of your parties will get paid. And don’t worry, your payment will be grand, but I’m still thinking about how much I want to give you,” Hanamaki smiles at them pleasantly while Iwaizumi puts a hand over his face, exasperated. This was not well thought out at all.
“Fantastic. Can we go home now?” Kyoutani grumbles, and the idol spins around with a shocked look.
“Of course not! You’re heading out to the forest tomorrow morning, and what kind of a host would I be if I let you all stay at a low-class hotel,” Hanamaki says and promptly chooses to ignore the incredulous confusion of both parties.
“What? Tomorrow?!”
“You never told us that!”
“Hey, wait, I have to visit my mom tomorrow!”
“I can’t believe this!”
“Hanamaki, where are we supposed to sleep?”
“Oh, here, of course!” he grins and gestures vaguely, “I have 17 bedrooms on the second floor, and it’s a shame no one ever uses it. They’re all ready for you, so pick whichever one you like. Complimentary breakfast will be provided in the morning.”
Hanamaki turns on his heel and makes his way to the exit.
“Sleep tight and don’t let the dust bunnies bite! Just kidding, I had the place dusted!” he calls over his shoulder. The last thing everyone sees is his finger heart as he floats away.
Oikawa looks around at everyone. “Just so we’re all on the same page, this is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you guys, too, right?”
Everyone nods dazedly while Matsukawa says, “I don’t know, man, he was really hot.”
“Mattsun, this is not the time for your celebrity crush.”
“Fine, then, I’ll just tell my Twitter followers. They’re going to be so jealous.”
“No one will believe you actually met Hanamaki.”
“What? I’m totally credible.”
“Just because you run a daily Hanamaki pics account with eight thousand followers does not mean you’re credible.”