Work Text:
It's Christmas and not only Lance misses his family, Pidge and Hunk miss their families too. The last few years have been hard for Pidge because her father and brother were still missing. Thankfully she has found her family again, although they are now scattered around the universe again. Christmas with her mother was hard sometimes. But now in the infinity of space, she misses them. So the Paladins decide they want to celebrate Christmas together. Their plan is to bring Christmas and the traditions closer to Coran and Allura. Shiro likes this idea very much. Besides, it would be good for the team spirit. The only one who finds it just boring and unnecessary is Keith. He used to celebrate Christmas with his father, but after he died, Keith started hating Christmas and in the home he was in, they didn't celebrate it. He always envied the families who celebrated Christmas together and he didn't even have one. Sometimes he would look through the windows and see the families decorating the Christmas tree or baking. He felt so lonely and that's why he also destroyed the Christmas decorations in the shopping malls or in the parks. When Shiro came into his life, he started to learn again what family and Christmas meant. Shiro always asked Keith to celebrate Christmas with him. At that time he felt so happy and comfortable in Shiro's home. His world shattered again when he found out Shiro was sick and he didn't come back from the Kerberos mission. He did a lot more stupid stuff and had some phases where he was just angry and destroyed everything around him. He felt that sometimes he lost control of himself. He had talked to his mother about it because he still has these phases and he learned that it has to do with his Galra heritage. If Father Christmas really existed, his wish would be to celebrate Christmas with the whole family for once. His mother, father, Shiro and the space wolf. He is so happy to have Shiro back. He often thinks about the fight with Shiro. He has realised something. He doesn't just love Shiro like a brother. There is more to it than that. Every time he sees him, he gets a funny feeling and just wants to be near the other. He has also decided that he will never tell Shiro because he is afraid of losing him and that he would destroy their friendship. Adam might also still be alive and he knows that Shiro loves Adam. So there is no place for him in between. His heart aches every time he thinks of Shiro. Someone knocks on the door.
"Hey Keith, you want to go to the Space Mall with me and Pidge?"
It's Shiro.
"No thanks, I want to go to the training deck and not everyone should leave the castle as we might get attacked." he replies.
"Ok. See you later."
Keith is not a friend of the Space Mall since last time. Cosmo is lying next to him. His bed is almost too small for her. He likes the comfort the big fluffy creature gives him. He strokes it gently. Then he gets up and goes to the training deck. He walks past the kitchen and sees Hunk trying to figure out how to make biscuits that taste almost like gingerbread. The kitchen, accordingly, looks worse right now than any battlefield Keith has ever seen.
Meanwhile, the others have arrived at the Space Mall.
"Okay," says Shiro, "Pidge, Lance, you need to find a plant that looks almost like a Christmas tree. I'll go to the Earth shop and look for some candles and decorations. Coran, Allura maybe you can find a community game, a card or board game."
Then they went their separate ways.
At the Earth shop Shiro really did find Christmas decorations and candles for a tree. He had everything he needed, but then he saw some Christmas jumpers. Even in the right colours for the team. Only one colour was missing. He couldn't find a red Christmas jumper. He went to the cashier, whom he fortunately could understand, and asked him if they might have another red jumper. Unfortunately, they didn't have one. But they had something else. A red Father Christmas dress. It would be so funny if Keith wore such a dress. He would have to persuade him, but it would be cute. Suddenly other images popped into his head. Images of Keith lying in Shiro's bed with the short dress showing a little too much of his body. He shook his head. 'Don't think about it. Keith doesn't love me. He just sees me as a brother. He has left the shop and is walking to the meeting place. He is a little early. After a few minutes, the others arrive. Pidge and Lance really found a tree as big as Lance.
It was a little bit different from those of the earth. The tree changed colour slightly from green to blue to turquoise. It resembled a lava lamp.
Back at the castle, they set up the tree and Shiro made his way to the training deck where he thought Keith was. He found him there too.
"Keith are you coming to decorate the tree" he called across the square.
"No."
It was no use if Keith didn't want to, then he didn't want to. Having decorated the room they now sat on the floor next to the lava lamp tree and under the tree were some small packets with each person's name on them. They each took their packets and they then opened them at the same time. Hunk, Pidge, Lance and Allura and even coran had a nice Christmas jumper inside. Only Keith looked a little shaken and upset.
"Lance, you are such a fucking ass."
"Woah calm down Mullet, what's your problem?"
Keith had pulled out a Santa dress from the box. Lance immediately started laughing.
"Hahaha sorry cowboy, or should I say Santa Keith now, but that's not coming from me."
He thought that something so dumb could only come from Lance, because only he has such stupid ideas. Hunk, Pidge and Allura were still having trouble not laughing too loudly at him. Pidge was finally the one who had an idea who it could be.
"Well, um, Shiro was the one who went to the Earth Shop."
Keith sought eye contact with Shiro, hoping to find an answer to this situation. Shiro had a small embarrassed smile on his face. Keith stood up and tried to hold back his tears. He had been too emotional in the last few weeks, he couldn't allow himself to be that as leader of Voltron. It was just too much for him to lead Voltron, to fight Shiro, the love of his life, and to say goodbye to his mother because she went too back to the Blade of Mamora and now this. He felt exposed by Shiro. It was like Shiro was making fun of him in front of the others. He felt even more lonely and less accepted by the others than he already did. Everyone got something suitable, but he is still an outsider.
"Thank you."
And then he stormed out the door.
Shiro knows he made a mistake the moment Keith sighted eye contact with him. He sighed it wasn't supposed to end like this. Maybe Keith couldn't remember the old days where he always gave him a crazy thing for Christmas first. He felt sorry for Keith. He really needed to make this right.
"I'm sorry, team. I need to sort this situation out with Keith first. It wasn't supposed to end like this and I hope when we get back we can continue our little Christmas party together. "
Keith sat with his back leaning against the door to the room, his knees pressed against his body and his arms around his knees. He hated Christmas now even more than usual. He just couldn't understand why Shiro did this. Keith could hear footsteps in the hallway.
Someone was knocking on the door. It must be Shiro, since no one else would come after him. Sometimes he even wonders if his team would have cared if he flew into Haggar's ship or if they would have dismissed the whole thing as a necessary sacrifice or if they were mourning the loss of a friend.
Shiro knocked on the door again.
"Go away, Shiro. I don't want to see you now and I won't go back. I don't belong. I have never belonged anywhere. I'm only their leader because you can't lead them now. I am just the substitute. They never saw me as a leader and they never accepted me as their friend. Even you make fun of me in front of the others."
" Keith, I'm sorry, it wasn't planned that way. I didn't expect you to react like this. It's not true we all appreciate you as a leader and the others really like you too. We are a family."
He had to win back Keith's trust and build him up.
"This is not my family. My family is broken. We're just a bunch of idiots who landed in space and have no choice but to work together and get along."
"Keith, please, you know that's not true. You're special to me and a good friend to the others, you helped them and did the hard part as leader and you'd do anything to protect them."
'No, that's not true. I'd do anything to protect you Shiro,' Keith thought.
"Keith, you are like a little brother to me and it is normal to tease smaller siblings a little."
Those words hurt. Shiro only sees him as a little brother and not as a grown man who could stand by him. Or maybe he was just acting like a little kid.
He started to cry out of frustration and anger, but he tried to stay quiet so Shiro wouldn't hear him. Why does it hurt so much to love someone .
Shiro felt the same way Keith did, but he hoped to break through the mess he had created. He hoped Keith would open the door and they could sort it out together, like they always did. But his heart knew Keith was so much more to him than just a little brother.
Shiro slid down the door and leaned back against it.
"Hah yeah, I'm just a little brother to tease. Nothing more. I hope you and Adam will be happy and live contentedly together on earth ."
He tried to sound happy for Shiro. He didn't want to get in the way and begrudged him. Shiro had been through far too much. He just wants to see him happy.
" Keith, Adam left me because I decided to go on the Kerberos mission. I don't think he thinks I'm coming back. I found someone else. Someone who would travel across the universe to support me."
Keith was confused, when did Shiro have time to look for another partner in the universe. He couldn't stop crying at the moment because for a brief moment something flared up inside him, something called hope. Hope that he had a chance with Shiro after all. It died within seconds. Silence filled the room.
However, he wanted to know who was the lucky one who could be with Shiro.
"Who?"
A door, that was all that separated them at the moment and yet they had already overcome so much more. They were meant for each other. Shiro gathered all his courage. He loved the person behind the door. Keith was always by his side and Shiro is sure that if he jumped out the window, Keith would jump after him. So he said it.
"You."
At first Keith thought he couldn't hear properly. Shiro meant him.
But Keith remained silent.
There were two possibilities. Either Keith was having the realest dream ever or Shiro was joking again and just playing with him. Keith didn't believe that, though, because it didn't sound like it. Shiro was completely serious.
"Keith, I love you, but ever since our fight. I thought you just loved me like a brother, that's why I didn't tell you."
"How do you know?"
"My better half told me before I kind of took over his body and soul." he still felt guilty about that but that was another matter.
Silence fell again
"Keith, please open the door. I don't want to talk to you with a door between us."
Shiro stood in front of the door again and finally it opened. Keith stood on the other side with tears in his eyes.
"Fucking hell. I love you Shiro. I would do anything for you."
Shiro entered the room and hugged Keith. Keith felt the warmth around him. He felt safe and loved in Shiro's arms. He could stand here for hours with Shiro. Shiro stroked Keith's hair. Keith's black hair was always soft.
"But seriously, Shiro, why did you buy such a terrible gift?"
"Because I thought if I was naughty, Santa Keith would punish me."
Shiro laughed out loud
Keith moved away from Shiro a little and lightly punched him in the shoulder.
"God, Shiro, but you didn't know I was going to love you."
"I just had hopes that you would. Will you wear it for me later?"
He said with a cheeky grin on his face. Keith smiled as well.
"Maybe." he grinned back
"Come on, let's get back to the others, because this isn't your actual present."
Shiro wiped the tears from Keith's face and then they walked close together back to the team. The team room door opened and Lance yelled.
"You guys need to kiss."
Shiro and Keith blushed a little, but only for a second.
"Lance what the?"
Keith wanted to know if they had heard the conversation between them.
Pidge was the person who answered again.
"Because you're standing under mistletoe. Hunk and I hung it because Lance wanted to bring that tradition closer to Allura."
Pidge had a big mischievous grin on his face.
Keith looked up, it didn't really look like mistletoe. I guess you can't find anything better in space so appearance doesn't really matter any more.
Keith didn't know what to do, it's such a stupid tradition and kissing Shiro in front of the others. Not really his style. But Shiro was much quicker. He put his hand on Keith's cheek, gently stroking the scar he was guilty of, and let his eyes meet his counterpart's. Before he put his lips on those of the most important person in his life.
He should have realised so much earlier how important Keith was to him.
Keith hesitated at first. Was he unsettled by the others watching this. But quickly his focus shifted to the soft lips of his counterpart and he was able to concentrate fully on them and leaned into the kiss.
Because of a lack of air, they broke away again. Looked deep into each other's eyes for a moment more and probably would have gone at each other again in a moment if it hadn't been for Pidge.
"Ha, I knew it, Hunk, you owe me ten bucks."
"Wha..."
Keith was about to start again but shiro took him by the hand and led him back to the lava lamp tree.
Shiro grabbed the box that was left and handed it to Keith.
"Here's your actual present."
He carefully took off the lid and inside saw a hippo plushie with a red heart. He used to have a similar one as a child, even still in Garrison, because it used to be a gift from his father. However, James had found out about it and teased Keith about needing a stuffed animal. Keith had thrown the stuffed animal away in a fit of rage. He still regretted it.
"Thank you Shiro." he was about to cry again because it really meant a lot to him.
They all sat down in a circle again and there was now a tray of biscuits in the middle, as well as steaming cups.
In the cups there is only something similar to children's punch.
"Hey Mullet are you still going to put that dress on?" asked Lance as he stuffed another biscuit into his mouth.
"Forget it."
They laughed a lot more that night.
Allura and Coran had managed to rustle up an altean game similar to Ludo. Keith had calmed down. Yes, even though they had difficulties at the beginning, they got together and became a small family. They all went to bed late that night and some stayed up even longer. Keith had asked Shiro if he would stay the night with him. So Keith lay on Shiro's upper body, listening to the other's heartbeat and slumbering peacefully. Shiro gently ran his fingers over Keith's head. It had such a calming effect on the larger one that he fell asleep shortly afterwards. The hippo plushie sat on the bedside cabinet. Cosmo slept curled up at the foot of the bed because there was hardly any room left, and the red Santa dress lay on the floor in front of the bed.